Anyone Living with Unsupportive Roomates or Relatives?

Cathy_Daydreams
Cathy_Daydreams Posts: 120
edited December 2024 in Motivation and Support
Is anyone else having a problem with unsupportive friends family or parents?
Do you live with them? and if you do how do you cope?
I'm still stuck at home and my mum's really not supportive of my weight loss at all. She keeps trying to make me believe that she knows everything about losing weight when a lot of the stuff she tells me I know to be wrong. We're usually really close but every time she sees that my workout clothes are in the washing basket or when I tell her, politely of course, that I don't want an extra portion of something because I'm watching my weight she starts having a go at me and whenever I try to justify my reasons she walks away and says I'm starting an argument with her.
I have tried talking to her but again, she walks away and says I'm arguing with her and it's making things really difficult for me with all this arguing. It makes it a lot harder to keep going with things.

Replies

  • shrimpkk
    shrimpkk Posts: 1
    I too have un-supportive household members and relatives that sabatoge everything I am trying to change. They come under the category of Toxic People and we are to limit our time with them as much as possible, and spending time with people who who live in an environment of encouragement and opening up to making things better for ourselves.
    Leave the control freaks behind, you can't talk them into understanding what they refuse to listen to.
    Make life work for you. When someone asks about my food or clothes, I tell them, I am challenging myself to be more disciplined. They don't have an answer for that. When my sister makes comments I ask her what challenge are you working on? She just walks away. Use the same answer every time they ask and they will quit asking. Try it and after have a good silent laugh about how strong you are becoming and how happy you are. Wishing you the best you can be. SK
  • motivationalwellbeing
    motivationalwellbeing Posts: 15
    I had a similar experience, although probably not as bad as yours, but I just stuck to my plan regardless of what anyone said because I knew once I got the results, they'd leave me alone. Talking facts and figures didn't seem to help, only results did. Just use this as extra fuel to stay committed on reaching your fitness goals.

    At the end of the day, when you stand there in front of the mirror, whether you have supporters or opposers, you're the only one looking back, so do it for you.
  • Cathy_Daydreams
    Cathy_Daydreams Posts: 120
    I too have un-supportive household members and relatives that sabatoge everything I am trying to change. They come under the category of Toxic People and we are to limit our time with them as much as possible, and spending time with people who who live in an environment of encouragement and opening up to making things better for ourselves.
    Leave the control freaks behind, you can't talk them into understanding what they refuse to listen to.
    Make life work for you. When someone asks about my food or clothes, I tell them, I am challenging myself to be more disciplined. They don't have an answer for that. When my sister makes comments I ask her what challenge are you working on? She just walks away. Use the same answer every time they ask and they will quit asking. Try it and after have a good silent laugh about how strong you are becoming and how happy you are. Wishing you the best you can be. SK

    heehee, I hadn't thought about that tbh :L thanks
    it's nice to know I'm not the only one in this situation :)
  • Cathy_Daydreams
    Cathy_Daydreams Posts: 120
    I had a similar experience, although probably not as bad as yours, but I just stuck to my plan regardless of what anyone said because I knew once I got the results, they'd leave me alone. Talking facts and figures didn't seem to help, only results did. Just use this as extra fuel to stay committed on reaching your fitness goals.

    At the end of the day, when you stand there in front of the mirror, whether you have supporters or opposers, you're the only one looking back, so do it for you.

    I admire you for sticking to it and fully intend to do the same :). It is a lot harder when my mum's taking lumps out of me but I'm gonna do it with or without her help. Plus in a year I will be off to a Uni. with free membership to the on campus gym, so I'm hoping things will get better :)
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    Is anyone else having a problem with unsupportive friends family or parents?

    Think you just included everyone on this site :laugh:
  • gogophers
    gogophers Posts: 190 Member
    Is anyone else having a problem with unsupportive friends family or parents?

    Think you just included everyone on this site :laugh:

    Or perhaps everyone in the world :). Not just with weight loss, but with pretty much any change someone tries to make, there will be people that will try to push back to resist the change even when it has absolutely nothing to do with them. I think we just have to accept the fact that everyone always wants to peddle advice (here included-but at least here it's generally helpful and solicited advice).

    I don't know who said it but there's a saying that goes something like "Unsolicited advice is generally good for only one thing...to pass it on"
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I think it's hard for parents to see their kids trying to lose weight because they want their kids to think they're perfect how they are. Maybe you could spin it as getting healthy and helping you feel more stable mentally? Also, you could volunteer to make meals a few times a week. Then you can serve yourself and have more control over what you eat.
  • sweetchildomine
    sweetchildomine Posts: 872 Member
    I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! My Mom is convinced I don't need to lose any weight and is constantly bringing me home sweet treats that she knows I will have a hard time resisting. She also tells me I'm getting too skinny and I'm not eating enough. Dude, I weigh 138 pounds and I'm only 5'3 so that's DEFINITELY not anywhere NEAR too skinny lol. I always eat at least 1200 calories and I'm never hungry so I don't know why she's convinced I'm starving myself.
  • Cathy_Daydreams
    Cathy_Daydreams Posts: 120
    I think it's hard for parents to see their kids trying to lose weight because they want their kids to think they're perfect how they are. Maybe you could spin it as getting healthy and helping you feel more stable mentally? Also, you could volunteer to make meals a few times a week. Then you can serve yourself and have more control over what you eat.

    Thank you for the advice :).
    I have tried telling her that I'm doing it to be healthier and not because I want to be skinny (although losing fat is a big perk) but she doesn't seem to care. Part of the problem, I think, is that she changes her mind about me all the time. For example, one day she'll come in from work and I'll be there, drinking a glass of something, she'll tap my belly and go 'you need to lose some weight' another day, when I don't feel like eating tea cos' I'm not hungry (and I have never been keen on eating just because it's tea time, if I'm not hungry, what's the point) and she'll call me anorexic. Then she'll do like she's doing now.
    And I do cook on Fridays and Saturdays but that's more because of a reaction I have to what they eat than anything else. I might try and push that one more, thank you for the idea.
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