Partners who don't understand

bshephe2
bshephe2 Posts: 21
edited December 25 in Motivation and Support
A couple of years ago I got married for the second time. We have been dating for many years and lived together for a couple of years before we got married. Lately, my wife has been giving me a very hard time about my weight. I have lost 49 Kg in the past six months and I am now 94.5 Kg. Last night she told me that if I was to put on any weight at all than she would have to reconsider our relationship. I am actually 10 kg less than when i first met her and 15Kg less than when we married.

She is petite, weighing only 45Kg and has never had a weight issue. Dieting is hard because she insists on filling the fridge and cupboards with biscuits, cakes etct etc for her and her children. She won't come near me because of my bad breath from dieting. I am seriously depressed. Any advice?

Replies

  • bshephe2
    bshephe2 Posts: 21
    Sorry, make that 22 Kg or 49lb
  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
    Have you told her what you've said here? Namely the "you married me when I was much heavier than this" part?

    I would also talk to your doctor or dentist about bad breath from dieting. I don't know why eating healthy would make your breath smell bad.
  • Kimberlygrey94
    Kimberlygrey94 Posts: 21
    Having someone who expects you to do something, then doesn't support you while trying to accomplish it is hard. But if she isn't going to be there for you, you need to reconsider who you are doing this for. Don't lose weight for her. Lose weight for you. To be happy, healthy and good looking ;) Support is a big thing when it comes to something like this and if you aren't getting that, you need to move on to the next best thing. Self control. Self control is HUGE while dieting. I'm figuring that out now. And I know that it's hard, but you can do it! As soon as you start thinking about quitting, think about why you started. And I'm not saying think about why you started for her, but why you started for you. Why did you start really trying? Besides to please your wife? You don't have to answer that, but think it to your self, and never forget it! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
  • kadinlucas
    kadinlucas Posts: 77 Member
    Depressed and in the best shape you have been in for ages?
    Go get yourself a new women.
    But I probably shouldn't say that..
  • pinkspanglystar
    pinkspanglystar Posts: 35 Member
    Depressed and in the best shape you have been in for ages?
    Go get yourself a new women.
    But I probably shouldn't say that..


    Gotta say I agree!! I have been with people in the past that never got how hard it was for me to loose weight!! One even used to make comments about how much bigger my pants were to his in the usual 'joking manner' that people who dont get it have!!

    Talk to her and explaine how she is making you feel and if that doesnt work think of you, what you need and go out there and find it!! You have worked your butt off to get to where you are today and you should have people telling you how amazing you are not moaning and making you feel the way you do!! Big hug!!
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
    "Last night she told me that if I was to put on any weight at all than she would have to reconsider our relationship"

    That comment would make me reconsider the relationship with her, that's awful, especially after all your hard work and her lack of support by keeping junk in the house. You've made all the changes and she's giving you ultimatums and not wanting to be near you because of "bad breath" I'm sorry but I really think you should maybe see a marriage counsellor, I don't know your relationship well enough to say dump her and your situation is more complicated because you have a family, but that's pretty toxic language and is very unfair. x
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    I would of said if your head gets any bigger I'll have to reconsider the relationship as well. Sorry to hear about your troubles. Chin up. Anyone who says they'll have to reconsider marriage and their reason isn't because the other is becoming a cheat or horrible person, well, I think I'd be happier alone.
  • Carolyn_79
    Carolyn_79 Posts: 935 Member
    Sounds like she's already reconsidered the relationship and is using your weight as an excuse.
  • mandylooo
    mandylooo Posts: 456 Member
    Sounds like she's already reconsidered the relationship and is using your weight as an excuse.

    I'm inclined to agree with this, sort of. The fact that the OP talks about things in the fridge for "her and her children" isn't a promising sign. There's more to this than the weight. You need to talk to her properly and see where your relationship is at.
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