All the single mothers.....

sheenarama
sheenarama Posts: 733 Member
in Chit-Chat
Any other single mothers out there that doesn't want to date?

It just seems like it'd be a waste of time. I work and have kids, so I don't think I'd have time to foster a new relationship. So I don't even try.

That being said, I do get lonely at times.

What's a girl to do!?!

Replies

  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    I am not a single mother. But I'd like to add my .02 cents in here.

    Single mothers have it tough in terms of dating. Very few men without kids are interested in a single mom. So right there, that restricts the dating pool significantly. I believe effective dating requires a wide dating pool.

    To the OP-If you are good looking and/or take care of yourself well, you shouldn't have a problem finding a man. Certainly, the men won't be as plentiful as when you were 25, but there should be enough selection out there. You might have to be a little less fussy as to what you want in a partner, but with the right attitude and perspective, you'll find dates, and hopefully a man that is a great fit for you.

    A key point is that you have to make time to date. Parents and those who have not been single in a long time don't understand the single person mentality. Dating requires a significant time commitment and new relationships need development time, whereas existing relationships need maintenance. The time commitment is less to maintain a 5 year existing relationship vs. developing a whole new relationship.

    Best wishes!
  • Rielyn
    Rielyn Posts: 150 Member
    I would love to date...I'm not in the right frame of mind yet to do so. I would like to think in a few months I might try but I am afraid there isn't going to be a lot of interest considering my children are only 4 & 2. Plus it would be hard to start a relationship when I can really only do something every other weekend. However I'm just trying to concentrate on how much happier and calmer my present life is with just myself and my girls. If I find someone that's great, if not it's okay, I'm pretty active and I have a lot of hobbies to take up free time.
  • luvp1nk
    luvp1nk Posts: 24 Member
    I have no desire to date right now. I separated from my son's father more than a year ago but still deal with the "baby daddy drama" pretty much on a daily basis so the desire to find a new man looks less and less desirable. Someday, I may venture out there but for now, I am cool.
  • skonly
    skonly Posts: 371
    I have the time now and don't care anymore. lol. My kids are grown, one still lives with me. I'm happy with myself. It has been several years since I had a relationship and don't miss it. Maybe one day but after a while it seems like being with someone again would be such a hassle. Plus there isn't any room left in the bed, the dogs only leave me a small spot. lol
  • h2oophelia
    h2oophelia Posts: 48
    I'm in the same boat. I've been divorced almost 5 years and I used to want to date, but then when it came down to an actual date, it felt more like a job interview. Even the "good" dates took second place to staying home and hanging with my kid. Dating became like a 2nd job to me. So, I quit.

    I figure, IF the right guy shows up, my feelings will change. But until then, I'm happy to be single. I have a good job, a house, and a fantastic kid. Life is good. :)
  • REALBIGBATBASTARD
    REALBIGBATBASTARD Posts: 103 Member
    Call me, we can skip all the huggie bear and kissy face!
  • GodsGirl37
    GodsGirl37 Posts: 348
    I am a single mom. I 've been divorced since 2003. I had dated once in 2009 but the guy I dated was worse than my exhusand. at present I share the same sentiment with both of you ladies.
  • ChapinaGrande
    ChapinaGrande Posts: 289 Member
    I was a single mother for 4 years until very recently. I made an announcement at Thanksgiving 2010 that I would never date again. Ever. Then one day, a new student walked into my classroom (I am in adult education--he's older than me) and we became fast friends. On our first date, I told him that I didn't ever want to get married. Ever. I was wrong because we were married 2.5 months ago.

    I guess what I want to tell you is that you never really know what's going to happen. Things just work out exactly as they are meant to. I will tell you that it was really hard in the beginning managing work, daughter, housework, boyfriend, AND hiding a relationship with a student, especially when you've been burned and kind of hate anything with a wee-wee. However, it was all COMPLETELY worth it.
  • FireballStrike
    FireballStrike Posts: 85 Member
    Invest your time in good friends and money in batteries :wink:

    There's something to be said for such a realization and embracing your freedom.

    I, too, have been rowing the single mom boat and know I don't have the bandwidth to invest in a relationship, but things have a way of changing when the right person comes along.
  • sheenarama
    sheenarama Posts: 733 Member
    Cool! Thanks for the responses. I'm glad to find other mothers feeling the same way! Just needing some encouragement I guess :)

Categories