self-sabatoge?

rchambers2072
rchambers2072 Posts: 227 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I am struggling with getting below 200 pounds. I get soo close (207), then seem unable to stop eating crap for a few days and find myself back up to 210, then work back down to maybe 206, then gain back to 209, etc. I have not weighed less than 200 pounds since before I got pregnant with my oldest daughter, 22 years ago! My highest weight was 291, so I know I can do it. I think I am subconsciously afraid. Any ideas how to push through this irrational fear??

Replies

  • alpha1029
    alpha1029 Posts: 139
    I would try not weighing in for a while. Just stick to your diet and exercise routine and lay off the scale for a bit, like a month or two. Good luck and way to go on losing so much! You're doing great!
  • tdotali
    tdotali Posts: 181 Member
    So I am struggling with getting below 200 pounds. I get soo close (207), then seem unable to stop eating crap for a few days and find myself back up to 210, then work back down to maybe 206, then gain back to 209, etc. I have not weighed less than 200 pounds since before I got pregnant with my oldest daughter, 22 years ago! My highest weight was 291, so I know I can do it. I think I am subconsciously afraid. Any ideas how to push through this irrational fear??

    What exactly are you afraid of? Once you estabish that you can set up a plan to get you out.
  • MSimm62385
    MSimm62385 Posts: 227
    Subconsciously afraid of what, exactly? Nothing but good things can come from getting your weight below 200.
  • Snoopy108
    Snoopy108 Posts: 94 Member
    I do the same darn thing...it is maddening. I really have to make a effort before I eat and stop and think "is this really worth the calories" and most the time it will stop me, sometimes it doesn't. Just went through three days of being out of control and then feeling awful because I did not make the best choices and had a weight gain. All I can say is keep trying and I have to tell myself daily that I can do this and I am worth it....who thought being healthy and fit could be so scary. It certainly takes time to change your thinking and your habits....been try to do this for 30 years!!! We can do and it will be well worth it...be strong and stay positive!
  • aliceinlurve
    aliceinlurve Posts: 4
    I would try not weighing in for a while. Just stick to your diet and exercise routine and lay off the scale for a bit, like a month or two. Good luck and way to go on losing so much! You're doing great!

    I agree, stay away from the scales for a while. I kept away from mine for a few months and I lost more than I had in 10 months!

    It is very psycological that the number of our weight is important. You have to keep asking yourself if the diet and exercise is making you feel better in yourself? You've come so far already, stop torchering yourself with numbers and see them for what they are... just numbers. :)
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,281 Member
    Being under 200 was one of my great motivators. COME!! Join me in ONE-derland!! You CAN do it!!
  • rchambers2072
    rchambers2072 Posts: 227 Member
    As retarded as I know this sounds, I think I am afraid to succeed. I have been fat all my life. Its what I know. Yes, I know all the good things about losing the weight. But I think I am afraid of the unknown. I think it's just going to take time to wrap my brain around not being the fat girl anymore. If it takes me 10 weeks to get past it, that's ok. Maybe slower will be better for now?
  • Jalare
    Jalare Posts: 103
    I tend to do the same thing. I will lose 3 lbs then go a little haywire and gain it back adding more time to my weightloss journey. I do think that sometimes I'm afraid of the unknown. I've never been skinny or "normal" size so it's hard to comprehend even coming close to that. I don't have a visual image of that. But I keep pushing forward. When I see adjustments are needed, I try to catch it before it gets totally out of control, whereas before I would just give up and let it go.

    I guess there are no magic words to tell you except to keep pushing forward. You know what to do. You've been doing it. Keep going!
  • theartichoke
    theartichoke Posts: 816 Member
    I understand from this perspective....hiding. I'm not sure if it applies to you but it certainly does to me. As uncomfortable as being fat is, there's still comfort. I preferred being invisible and left alone. Like I hid behind the wall of fat I built around myself. I had to ask myself why. I didn't like the answer and it honestly made me sad....but now I know. I don't struggle as much with it now but for a while, each pound lost felt like an exposure. That's insane.

    I'm done hiding. Whatever happens along the way to finding comfort in health, happens. It's all new to me so I have no experience to draw from. That can makes things difficult but bottom line, I'm done.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    You deserve to live your life in a positive way. Which means stop sabotaging yourself -- don't buy into your insecurity. Or if you find that difficult, then fake it. Be stubborn. Refuse to do what the undermining, little nay-saying voice tells you to do.
    That inner fear wants to reduce you to a child, hiding yourself away, keeping you in a dark place? Then act like a teenager -- throw it the finger and sneer at it. Fake it, until you make it.

    You can do this. Give yourself some tough love, and give yourself what you really want and need.
  • ShaSimone
    ShaSimone Posts: 270 Member
    I know exactly where you are because I was there not too long ago. I had to determine that what I wanted was more important to me than the comfort of what had always been. I had always been the fat girl, the "cute face", and the attention became uncomfortable because now people were noticing my weight loss. I began to be noticed in a way I never had before and it became very disconcerting. Really think about that because that may be another part of why you are sabotaging yourself.
    What worked for me???
    I stuck with it, plain and simple. Weigh or don't weigh didn't matter to me but that may keep you on this 'rollercoaster' because fluctuations like that are not uncommon so you are really focusing on the number and that amount of fluctuation may just be water weight. Celebrate your accomplishments so far, zone in on what your next goal is, and STICK WITH IT!
  • nursevee
    nursevee Posts: 344 Member
    Yes I understand this. It's mental. You need to do some serious soul searching because only you can understand the blocks that are preventing you from moving ahead. Did something happen at a certain point for you that you might be subconsciously revisiting? Mine is a certain security thing. Believe it or not, being overweight is easy. You eat crap food, you live in insecuirty and paranoia and you don't answer to anyone. If someone asks why you're overweight you can laugh and tell them you love food and hate exercise... At least that's where I've been. It takes a lot ofmental strength and willpower to clear out your pantry, go shopping without loading your cart with convenience foods and snacking on 'easy stuff.' It's all about organizing yourself and realizing your triggers (tired/bored/stressed/angry = snack). I changed my whole lifestyle and now view food differently. I don't keep crappy food in the house at all so there is nothing toxic there even if I feel like it.

    My advice would be to start journelling. Write everything down and when you feel the need to binge then get to writing because that will teach you about yourself. I don't know what your habits are like but I highly suggest detoxifying yourself from sugar and processed foods so you are less likely to crave them.

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