A Moment of Silence

I just wanted to share this with all of you. Please read. Comment if you would like, but no matter what you do, please take this to heart. We really are special. I actually wrote this for online art community, but I want everyone to hear what I have to say. Sorry it is so long.


I'm now 23 years old (Had my B*Day in April) and have officially done nothing with my life and I know I never will. This is the truth of my life. I just don't understand. I have talent. Maybe not a alot, but I can sing better than some famous stars out there. Justin Bieber for instance and Miley Cyrus yet, where am I? Who am I? Nobody knows and never will. I am not saying I would ever be a superstar or anything, but I have things that should be noticed. We all do and yet, people walk on by. Why? We will never know. All we will ever know is that no matter how hard we try to please people we never will. All they will ever notice is what we do that they do not like. They never see the good. It hurts. It really does. Why do we even try? Why? Because that is how we are. We get stepped on. We have our hearts broken. We fall down. And we do it all over and over and over again. Why? Because that is how life is. Yes, it hurts and no, it isn't always fair, but that is how it is. And we survive. And we always will! We take the abuse. We piece our hearts back together. We stand back up and dust ourselves off and we try again! That is how we are special! Even if people out there may not notice it, we all need to know it deep down. We may never do the things we wish to do in life. We may never run a country, be a pop star, a model, a professional sports player, an actor, a writer, a lawyer, and the list goes on and on. We may never go down in history as any one important. Most of the world may never even know who we are or who we were, but that is okay. We will survive! We are those 'little people'. Those 'little people' who, without us, there would be none of those 'big people'. We make them. We are those 'little people' and we are proud. We all make this world go round. We may not be as happy as we want to be in life, but that is okay! That is how life is! Those 'big names' are not as happy as we all assume. We all have problems. All of us. We all have great times and then we all fall. If we never had hard times and bad luck, would we know when we had good times? Without pain, could we ever appreciate pleasure? Without tears, could we appreciate smiles? Without death, could we appreciate life? No. We need it all. This is what makes us strong, makes us who we are. No. It is true. When we die we may not go down in history. We may not be remembered by many people, but someone out here loves us. To someone we are there world. Be that person a soul-mate, a friend, a sister or brother, a mother or father, a child, or even a dog or cat. Someone out there needs us and loves us and sometimes we are the only thing holding their world together. That is why we carry on. Why we always will. I love all of you and I hope your dreams do come true, but even if they don't... Well, you are amazing in my eyes. Please remember: We are special.

Yes. We are special. We are. Even when we don't feel it, we are. Sometimes the things we want change as we progress through life. What we want now, may matter little to us in the future and we will laugh at all the trifle things that we had wanted. But no matter what, we are special and each and every one of us deserves to be here on this earth. We are loved by someone and in turn, we love someone. I am sorry for all the pain in anyone's life, I really, really am. I know this will sound like an over-used Mrs. America speech, but if I could, I would take all the pain away. We would all be happy and the world would be a better place, but as I stated, we do need some bad to appreciate the good. Maybe not as much, but as I am not magical or blessed with divine powers, there is not much I can do to change the current state of the world, so I am not going to promise things that I could never deliver (I'm not a politician). I just want to share with everyone that I hurt too. Maybe not in the exact same ways and maybe not even to the same extent, but I hurt like you too. I cry like you do. I am bitter and I don't always appreciate what life has given me, just like you. I lose people I love. I am lied to. Someone out there wants me to change who I am. It sucks, but we all have had something. So next time you say no one understands you, you are probably right. No one is the same and we will never completely understand how something means to you or how much it may affect you, but we all do have problems too. We all must carry on and survive. That is the greatest battle of all and that is why people like us will conquer. We are special! We are. I promise you that.

You may be wondering what brought this sudden onslaught of emotional words from me and so I will share. I have been feeling a little gloomy lately. There are a lot of things that I do not like about myself or my life. See? I hurt like you. I am an emotional person. I hide it with bitterness, but I hurt almost constantly. There is so much I want to do, so much I could do, but I will never get the chance. God, that hurts me so much. I hate admitting to myself that I am a failure. But at least I have a chance to live. At least I have the rest of my life to laugh and cry, to make enemies and friends, to fail and succeed. I met all of you and that is a blessing to me. I may not talk to you all like I should, but I have the memories of you all that I hold deep in my heart. You are special to me. So why am I such an emotional wreck? Well, (besides that time of the month) all of the deaths I hear and read about. Yes, lately the Aurora, Colorado mass murder incident is what has brought this up recently. Before I started writing this, I was wondering to myself what those people who died might have done with their lives. Like the eight-year-old boy. If he had had a chance to live, what would he have accomplished? He could have changed the world. And there are people like me who will never do anything with my life who has that chance to live. Not that I have a deathwish, but I thought it might have been better if someone like I had died instead of all these people who could have done something with their lives. I just sat here, crying, wondering why not me? And then I thought about all of the people I do know, who genuinely care about me, like Jess, and I wondered where she would be. I thought about how much I mean to her and all my friends like you guys and my family and even my cat, and I realized that that is why I need to be here. That I am the world, or at least part of it, to all of these people. Maybe I won't change the world, but I might change someone's world. I am not just a waste of space, a waste of life. I am me and I am special. I tried to kill myself years back, but I didn't succeed. Thank God. I don't think that commiting suicide is the 'coward's way out', but I think we are stronger than that. We don't need that. We are special. I will never attempt to kill myself again or even hope that I will die. I may not have much, but what I do have is great and I couldn't bare to leave it. Not yet. Not until it is time. I hope you all understand at least to some degree why we are special and why we will carry on. I hope all of your lives turn out great with as little pain as possible, but in case it doesn't, remember that you are special and you are part of someone's world, including mine.

What happened in Colorado wasn't right nor was it fair. It is just horrible. I wish I could change it, but I can't. All I can do is hope that everyone involved will be okay or as okay as they can. The things that happen now-a-days are just horribly painful and downright evil. My prayers are with all those in Colorado, but not only with them, everyone. What happened Colorado happened recently, but my compassion goes out to everyone anywhere that is suffering. Be it from murder, natural disastors, illnesses, anything. My heart goes out to them all. And to those out there that are okay and aren't suffering, I pray for you too. Life is hard and it is trying, but we will carry on, because we are special.

Now please, let us have a moment of silence for the whole world over. For all the victims, all those in pain, even those who are okay. Include yourself, because you are apart of this world same as I. Close your eyes and hold out your hands even if there is no one there. We are all holding hands in spirit. We are all connected by so many things. Please let us all join together. I would say just for this moment, but we should always be joined together, so let us try. We are brothers and sisters and we run this world. We will make it! Maybe not the way we imagined, but we will. Don't let anyone stand in your way. We really are special.

Thank you so much for reading this. I hope I offended no one as that was not my intention. I just wanted to share how I really felt. Thank you so much for reading. Sorry for any typos as well. I wasn't really concerned with grammar or anything, I just wanted to share what I felt and wrote what I thought. Thank you again.