What works and what does not work

I see a lot of posts on MFP that go something like this, "Should I be doing XYZ? What is the best XYZ for me? Help me pleeeeeeze?"

The answer is simple. No. You should not be doing XYZ. And No. No one here knows what's best for you. And No. No one can give you the magic answer that will make your weight loss dreams come true.

Everybody is different, and every body is different. I do a combination of things. I don't eat sugar. I don't eat chemicals. I fast a couple of days a week. I do 30-60 minutes of moderate cardio each day. I've lost 1-2 pounds per week, consistently, week after week for 7 months. Does that mean following my plan will work for you? Absolutely not. It doesn't even mean that my plan will continue to work for me - it just means that I found something that so far has helped me lose over 50 pounds.

Here's my story. Eight years ago I was in pretty good shape. Then I moved to a new city and got a new job, etc., and started to gain weight - not a lot, maybe a pound or so in a month. 10-12 pounds a year. For 8 years. You can do the math. So, at 54, 5'8" and 270 pounds it became obvious that I had to do something. I'd tried portion control - and failed. I'd tried low carbs - and failed. I'd tried going to the gym - and failed. I'd tried cutting back on sugar and fat - and failed.

Then I read something about sugar being a toxin and how you should eliminate it from your diet. Since I knew that cutting back never worked for me I thought maybe eliminating sugar cold turkey might. So I tried it. And I was able to do it - and the sugar cravings went away. Maybe that works for everyone, maybe it just works that way for me. I don't know if sugar is toxic - I don't care, I just know that not eating it makes me lose weight.

Then after a few weeks I gave up chemical additives, which meant I had to do a lot more cooking. I love to cook so that works well for me - and I've had great fun learning how to cook new things in new ways. Then as I started to get lighter and feel better and have more energy I started riding my bike again, and swimming. First slowly for 5 or 10 minutes, then faster, harder and longer. Now I can easily swim or bike for an hour. And I've gradually been able to shift my schedule and priorities to make time to do it.

After that I read an article about intermittent fasting and brain health and though I'd give that a try. And I found that I could do it and it helped supercharge my weight loss. Then I gave up salt and saw my blood pressure return to normal. Then I found this site and started logging my food and discovered that I wasn't eating as well as I thought. That 1/4 cup of peanut butter with an apple wasn't the healthy snack as I imagined it was - so now it's 2 TBS of peanut butter.

And so on. Small steps taken one at a time. Each step tested, and each step small enough so that I wasn't afraid to try it.

These things may not work for you - but something will. Look at what others here are doing. Find something that fits your lifestyle and personality and try it. Just try it. If you can do it, stick with it. If not, either try harder or try something else. There are lots of things that work, but not everyone can do them. I know from past experience that a regimen of 5 meals a day, supplemented with chocolate protein shakes and sugar and chemical laced energy bars, along with 3 hours a day in the gym is a good way for me to lose weight. That worked great when I was single and lived in an apartment. But now, with a partner, demanding job and a house to take care of, I just can't do it. I had to find another way.

So what about you? What should you do? I don't know. I hear people say, "I'm doing everything right but I'm not getting anywhere!" To which I would say, do something else.

Are you tracking your food and exercise? Are you being absolutely truthful and diligent about it? That's THE most powerful tool available on this site. Keep your diary. And if you keep an accurate diary and you're losing weight, for goodness sake make it public so other people can see what you're doing. If you're not making progress, find people who have done the thing you want to do, read their dairy daily and see what they're doing.

Do you have a realistic goal? If your life is full of work and family and house, then saying "I'm going to spend 2 hours a day at the gym" is probably not a realistic goal. It's not going to work and you're going to fail. Pick a goal you can do. Maybe "I'm going to take a 15 minute walk every evening" would be better. They say that if you do something for 21 days it becomes a habit. That's not true in a scientific sense but there is some truth to it. So, pick a simple goal and do it for 3 weeks. After walking 15 minutes each evening for 3 weeks you might not have lost a single pound. But you have found 15 minutes. Next see if you can stretch it to 30. Then try changing that walk to a bike ride, or a jog - now you're getting somewhere.

Don't expect anyone here to solve your weight problem. No one here made you fat and no one here can make you thinner. People here CAN offer examples and advice and success stories and information that YOU have to try and test. YOU have to be the one that decides what's the best way to lose weight for your body and your circumstances. If what you're doing isn't working, then it's time to try something different.

Maybe you eat too much sugar. Maybe you eat too much fat. Maybe you've gone fat-free and the additives, gums and stabilizers in your fat-free foods is the problem. Maybe it's gluten. Maybe it's salt. Maybe you're not eating enough. Maybe you're eating too much. I don't know. And you don't know either. But you can find out. Read your labels. Log your food. Weigh yourself regularly. Compare what you do to what others here do. Try new things. Make good choices and stick to them. Don't be afraid to try and fail. Be patient. Don't listen if someone tells you "that" WON'T work. Test it and find out. Don't listen if someone tells you "that" WILL work. Test it and find out.

Most importantly, take control of your life. Own it. Be accountable, listen to your body, and you'll find the things that work for you that you can enjoy doing and that you can stick with. They won't be the same as mine - but that's OK.