"You look great! You must have lost weight!"

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seejulesrun
seejulesrun Posts: 32 Member
in Motivation and Support
I swear, I hear this at least once a week. People keep telling me I look smaller, but I don't FEEL smaller and the scale isn't showing that I'm smaller. It's so awkward, so I just thank people for the compliment and don't correct them... but sometimes it makes me feel worse knowing that I'm really not lighter or much more in shape and that I could be genuinely happy if I was. For example, my old boss that I haven't seen in at least a year complimented me today and told me I was looking amazing and she could especially see it in my face.

Does anyone else deal with these situations? How do they make you feel? Does it motivate you or bring you down?

Replies

  • pglola09
    pglola09 Posts: 6 Member
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    Give yourself some credit. If you have been trying to eat right and having been consistently working out I'm sure your body has changed! It's not all about what the scale says. Toning, muscle development, etc. all add to a better "figure"- I'm sure this is what people are seeing in you.

    Have you taken measurements? Sometimes this is a better indicator of "fit"ness. Be positive, take the compliment, and simply say "thank you"- no need to demean yourself in front of your peers! I love when people tell me this- regardless of whether or not it's true. It's a true motivation that I'm on the right path.
  • ellejay42
    ellejay42 Posts: 4 Member
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    2 people yesterday said it to me. I've only lost an inch off my waist and 1.5 off my hips so far, I don't feel any different but apparently my face looks thinner.

    I like it, I take it as a compliment... something must be working, even if I don't really see it
  • EvilMomma
    EvilMomma Posts: 70 Member
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    I don't tell many people I"m trying to lose weight because I hate the comments. I'm lost 20 lbs (19.4 to be exact)---1/3 of my weight loss-- and no one mentions it. So I just go about my business and dread the time when I lose enough that people start to notice. The last time I lost weight, almost 70 lbs, I went to an event and every guy there noticed. I was overwhelmed and couldn't stop gaining until I gained it all back, plus. This time, I've told 3 people, other than my husband and I stay in touch with them about my issue. I haven't even told my therapist, yet; that shows you how difficult this is for me.

    So, to all you out there who love your new bodies--I'm a little envious. To all you out there who can't tell you're losing--I understand. To all you out there who are scared of being noticed--I"m with ya.

    So--to say it out loud: I"m a sex abuse survivor and, while I've done lots of my own work, I still have issues being noticed "that way". Guess its just one more thing to work on. On the other hand, I do like that my tummy is getting flatter and my skirts are getting loose around the waist.
  • MarlinWil
    MarlinWil Posts: 119 Member
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    Try giving two women compliments today. That's always easy. Doesn't matter what size or shape they are, but for the point of the exercise today make sure that they are more the type of figure you wish you were. Stand back and see how comfortable they are with the compliment. Having the added pressure of wanting/needing to lose weight on yourself does your sense of perspective in, for sure! I am there, my friend!

    But I have noticed that every time I compliment someone I genuinely think looks great (a woman, that is), they are self-conscious and automatically reach for a denial. We are not good at compliments! Ever. I think this is something to be mindful of - we need to practice being gracious about receiving them when they are given, and not think too much about how they make us feel. One day we will accept a compliment and realise that we have truly felt complimented. I really don't think it will come easy to get to that point, though. Not sure how, but for some reason we have become professional saboteurs when it comes to accepting the negative and rejecting the positive.

    A deep response to your question, but a sincere and long-term opinion based on lots of observation and reflection. Ha ha. Maybe I'm just getting old and think too much! I still believe what I have written though. Have a great day - you look WONDERFUL!!!
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
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    You're probably losing the inches! Don't quit!

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