just a bit of a whinge... sorry..

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BeautyFromPain
BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
in Motivation and Support
So pretty much I am doing my Cert 4 in Fitness at the moment. I decided to do it through TAFE which takes 2 years to do a Diploma or 1 year to do a Cert 4. Ever since I started in February of this year, I have felt like the odd one out.

Everyone else has completely perfect bodies, all the guys .. very muscular, all the girls slim. I did think that would be the case but I feel so inferior in comparison.

I feel so fat :L and even though I'm losing that's not the point at the moment I'm close to the point where I want to just drop out because I don't feel like I can deal with this anymore.

Also, the looks and comments... just little things like my teacher talking about "oh the other ellie, the skinny one," "oh yeah she needs to lose a bit of weight" considering i've already lost a bit.. it just hurts. I'm over it, and I don't know what to do, as much as I love this course I just absolutely hate this factor of it! :L

Replies

  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    Can anyone suggest any ways to get past this?
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    I wouldn't let it get to you too much. Honestly, you're doing this to better yourself and to hopefully better the lives of others. You will be living proof that what you're teaching WORKS.
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
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    People suck. I had a ballet teacher make comments like that to me. I just let them go but you could just tell her you don't appreciate the comments.
    I think for someone that is going from overweight to fit makes the best physical trainer/nutritionist/dietitian.

    Keep at it you'll do great!
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    i'd report a person who said that. it's damn unprofessional!

    you'll be better at the job for having battled weight issues.
    it will give you an empathy that this muppet clearly lacks.
  • minkakross
    minkakross Posts: 687 Member
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    personally I'd like to have a fitness person who looked less like a barbie, the super fit trainers don't seem to be able to understand people like me who have to make time to work out they just assume you have nothing better to do then be at the gym or you aren't serious about your goals. having some body fat or struggling with your self esteem means when imperfect people come to you, you'll understand them and maybe take the extra steps or time to make a plan that works with their life and where they are at on their fitness journey. good luck to you, never give up on your goals!
  • ptrevaskis
    ptrevaskis Posts: 1 Member
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    While outwardly many people will see the first obvious sign of fitness as being a persons weight they could be wrong. My wife is a short and not slim person - we are both in our 50's. She, until recently, played badminton competitively. What she loved more than anything else was coming up against a super slim young woman who would look down their nose at her and make the big mistake of thinking they were about to have an easy match.
    They would crawl off the court wondering just what exactly had hit them!

    Yes my wife could have been fitter, but was she unfit?

    I have seen over the years many people who would be judged to be very fit as a result of their physique but who couldn't run a 100m without nearly throwing up.

    You have to step back and think why you doing what you are doing. Is it for you? or is it to fit in with this other crowd?
    If it is for you then ultmately their comments dont actually matter.

    No point in having a go at them or reporting them unless you feel you will derive deep satisfaction from it. Will it help you achieve your goals - probably not. Remember why you are doing it.
    It doesnt matter what you do in life there will always be barriers, some not so obvious as others. If you have the determination to do this for yourself then you will do it.

    The way to beat these people is to finish the course!
  • askme12
    askme12 Posts: 155 Member
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    Your teacher is an *kitten*! I'm sure it's exhausting dealing with negative asshats. Quiting would solve this problem the quickest, but I'm positive you're gonna have to deal with more jerks at some point in the future. I hope you finish the course. Time goes by super fast. Before you know it, the class will be over and you will have the satisfaction that you pushed through it.
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
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    Please, stand up for yourself. When someone says something mean, let them know you heard and that those kind of comments hurt and are inappropriate.
    You just cannot let other people make you unhappy or stop you from what you want to do.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    No point in having a go at them or reporting them unless you feel you will derive deep satisfaction from it.
    i beg to differ.
    this teacher is paid good money to teach, and they should be doing that job properly. undermining students' confidence and/or humiliating them is not professional. and the other students are supposed to be learning from his example... right now he's teaching them how not to be supportive.
    how many students do you suppose have/will quit as a result of being treated badly?

    i believe you should report these things. his employers take him to one side and tell him to do his job as it should be done. the learning experience is improved for everyone.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    No point in having a go at them or reporting them unless you feel you will derive deep satisfaction from it.
    i beg to differ.
    this teacher is paid good money to teach, and they should be doing that job properly. undermining students' confidence and/or humiliating them is not professional. and the other students are supposed to be learning from his example... right now he's teaching them how not to be supportive.
    how many students do you suppose have/will quit as a result of being treated badly?

    i believe you should report these things. his employers take him to one side and tell him to do his job as it should be done. the learning experience is improved for everyone.

    Yeah I kinda agree with this, whether or not it will make ME feel good, whose to stop them doing it to the next person?! Plus it is completely unprofessional.
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    So pretty much I am doing my Cert 4 in Fitness at the moment. I decided to do it through TAFE which takes 2 years to do a Diploma or 1 year to do a Cert 4. Ever since I started in February of this year, I have felt like the odd one out.

    Everyone else has completely perfect bodies, all the guys .. very muscular, all the girls slim. I did think that would be the case but I feel so inferior in comparison.

    I feel so fat :L and even though I'm losing that's not the point at the moment I'm close to the point where I want to just drop out because I don't feel like I can deal with this anymore.

    Also, the looks and comments... just little things like my teacher talking about "oh the other ellie, the skinny one," "oh yeah she needs to lose a bit of weight" considering i've already lost a bit.. it just hurts. I'm over it, and I don't know what to do, as much as I love this course I just absolutely hate this factor of it! :L

    It would be a damn shame to give up on a course you are really enjoying doing, that's all I can say. Forget everybody else, you are losing weight and will continue to do so until you get to your goal.

    Don't try to give her smart answers back, but perhaps you could have a quiet word with her after a class one day and mention that you really don't like some of her personal comments especially as you are already trying to do just what she is saying anyway - her commenting on it won't make you lose any faster so she may as well just cease with the putdowns. Just persevere with your course and continue doing it because it is what you want to do.
  • paulaviki
    paulaviki Posts: 678 Member
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    Don't give up, finish your course and when you get your diploma/certificate tell that teacher it was no thanks to them and that you will be writing to their employer about their unprofessional behaviour. I'd be hesitant to complain about them while you are still doing the course as it could just make it worse. Just keep focused on how satisfying it will feel when you are done despite what they said!
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
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    So someone actually said 'she needs to lose a little weight'?? my goodness how cheeky is that! I really don't know why people can be so hurtful! or why they feel they can just come out with such comments - very childish/immature/rude!

    Perhaps you've been unlucky getting a class of what you say are perfect bodied people, that can't usually the norm? its not just slim people who choose to do Fitness diplomas surely? Please don't let how they look or what they say get to you. You are doing something about your weight, thats the main thing, as other people have said before we didn't get to be heavier overnight so don't expect instant results. Keep tracking, surround yourselves with people who are positive and encouraging and keep trying, you WILL succeed and good luck completing your course :)
  • brookepenni
    brookepenni Posts: 787 Member
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    personally I'd like to have a fitness person who looked less like a barbie, the super fit trainers don't seem to be able to understand people like me who have to make time to work out they just assume you have nothing better to do then be at the gym or you aren't serious about your goals. having some body fat or struggling with your self esteem means when imperfect people come to you, you'll understand them and maybe take the extra steps or time to make a plan that works with their life and where they are at on their fitness journey. good luck to you, never give up on your goals!

    Wow - firstly I had to read this 4 times because it doesnt make much sense. But secondly, I completely disagree with what I think you are trying to say...

    For one - who are you (or the OP) to judge these people who have these 'perfect' bodies. Do you know their story? I have what some consider a perfect body now - Im a size 2, have abs, and lets face it - Im slim and hot (and full of confidence!). 14 months ago I was grosely obese - I have lost more than 1/3rd of my body weight. To look at me, would you know? No, most people wouldnt, and I get seriously annoyed at people who get on here with the 'poor me, you dont have to work as hard as I do' posts or the 'they'll never understand what I went through' crap.

    Secondly, I wish people would just stop worrying about others. Live your own damn life. The OP's profile states she wants to prove them wrong, and this is her passion - yet she's going to throw in the towel because someone is being mean (or she percieves it this way). Come on, get in the real world, its not candy and rainbows - work for what you want. No matter what, your going to encounter people you dont like - thats life. Suck it up and use this towel to wipe the sweat off yor face. Discussions of reporting people (students, puh-lease) and potential bosses who claim your too fat to work for them just shows you're looking for an easy ride in this world - and if thats the case, you're going to be severely sorry. You'll still be here winging this time next year I'll bet. About the same things too. Concrete anyone?
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    Don't let it get to you, it's not worth it.
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
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    Get a shirt printed up with..."Watch this space..." I used to visualize one for myself all the time. Felt like I was in stealth mode...gunna sneak up on ya!!!
  • AshQuill
    AshQuill Posts: 11 Member
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    When you started exercising did you focus on day to day challenges, thinking about how tough today and tomorrow and the days to follow would be or did you look to the long range goal of being fit one day? Maintain your focus on the goal of receiving your certification and consider it another challenge met.

    I also agree with Penni, unless they are openly criticizing you, you may be judging them as harshly as you feel they are judging you.
  • writinwater
    writinwater Posts: 52
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    They teach at TAFE, which pays sweet **** all, so presumabley this idiot teaches because he/she hasn't made it at a trainer or fitness guru - because who would want to be trained by such a judgemental, unprofessional person? Not me!

    I want to be trained by someone who's gone through what I'm going though, has lost some weight and knows what actually works! Someone like you!

    And all the Barbies and Kens in your class who are cruel to you will end up like your mate the teacher. Frankly they're beneath your notice if they behave like this - some people just need to grow up.

    So stick with it, finish the course, and complain to TAFE in a constuctive way once you're finished. You'll be cetified and awesome and sucessful in your endeavours, and they will be left to deal with their own consciences!
  • DaveRCF
    DaveRCF Posts: 266
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    So pretty much I am doing my Cert 4 in Fitness at the moment. I decided to do it through TAFE which takes 2 years to do a Diploma or 1 year to do a Cert 4. Ever since I started in February of this year, I have felt like the odd one out.

    Everyone else has completely perfect bodies, all the guys .. very muscular, all the girls slim. I did think that would be the case but I feel so inferior in comparison.

    I feel so fat :L and even though I'm losing that's not the point at the moment I'm close to the point where I want to just drop out because I don't feel like I can deal with this anymore.

    Also, the looks and comments... just little things like my teacher talking about "oh the other ellie, the skinny one," "oh yeah she needs to lose a bit of weight" considering i've already lost a bit.. it just hurts. I'm over it, and I don't know what to do, as much as I love this course I just absolutely hate this factor of it! :L

    Skinny doesn't necessarily equal fit and as a fitness instructor, you KNOW that! Notwithstanding the course instructor's blockheadedness (how unprofessional), you should draw strength from the negative comments.

    Suck it up, buttercup! :wink:

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