how do you feel about your fat pics?

meerkat70
meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm approaching my one year anniversary on MFP, and I know there'll be some pressure on me to produce the obligatory 'before' and 'during' photos. I'm really ambivalent about this.

There's part of me that wants the 'wow, look how far you've come' responses. But there's such shame and disgust attached to those pre photos. I don't have many, because I never let cameras near me. I don't like to remember how it was to be that size. I don't really identify with the woman who was that big anymore. I can't remember how she lived her life, and I'm not sure I really want to.

Part of me would really rather just move forward and not look back at all that mess I made of things.

Am I the only one who doesn't really want to celebrate success by dredging up the old me and putting her out there to be pitied, while the newer skinnier version gets celebrated?

Replies

  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
    I feel you. When people tag me in older, heavier photos now, I die. On the one hand, it IS motivating to see that, yes, my hard work is paying off, I really do look different and all that jazz. On the other hand I hit 'Remove Tag' so fast, it'd make your head spin. I don't like to remind myself that I ever got to a point where I felt that bad about the way I looked. I KNOW I look better now. I don't need my old photos to tell me that really.
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    I don't have any before pictures. One day I took a picture of myself using my phone and I wouldn't show it to a soul. I think I'm not going to do any before and after shots
  • kendrafallon
    kendrafallon Posts: 1,030 Member
    You don't have to produce any pics if you don't want to. You said it yourself, you don't identify with the woman you used to be. Add to that you didn't like who you used to be - I can identify with that. I avoid cameras as much as possible. Seeing pics of me when i weighed nearly 20st (280lbs) make me cringe.

    I'm proud of how far I've come, but like you, I don't really want the old me out on display to be pitied - I had enough of that at the time!
  • HamsterNut
    HamsterNut Posts: 78 Member
    I have full body photos in my knickers from my starting point, they are awful and will need editing if I were to post them here! I dont like it but I know that is what I look like now and that I really want to change .... I should put that photo on my lunch box and id never eat again :-)

    I dont think ill do a proper before and after with the underwear shots but I might do a heavier night out photo compared to a skinnier night out one ... thats as brave as I get!
  • Sahri21
    Sahri21 Posts: 21 Member
    Do what makes you feel best, but as someone on the journey myself who is struggling like hell, those before & after pictures can be such a motivation tool. I look at peoples before & afters and it reminds me that if I keep at it, even though I'm losing weight so slowly, I CAN do it. Because other REAL people did it too. So when I do get down, I will post before & afters in hopes of motivating someone else to get healthy!
  • jackieatx
    jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
    I have shots at 162 on my profile in a bikini, so when I hit goal weight (one pound to go) I can take a comparison picture. There are photos of me at my mothers wedding during my second month of pregnancy where I was easily 170. Those pictures really shocked me, because my arms looked huge. I don't ever want to look like that again.
  • penny_eclipse
    penny_eclipse Posts: 524 Member
    Jane you don't have to do anything...personally I still hat hate hate all my before shots...but they're also taken at a lot of my happiest times in life...I graduated undergrad with all my friends in Edinburgh (and all associated celebrations) when I was 232lbs...my upper arm looks like a leg, I don't have anything other than clothed pictures and they're awful. I like having them there for me when I'm feeling down (and I believe 1might be on my profile) but I'm not and doubt I ever will be brave or accepting of me to do a before/after thread...I don't even want to go to my postgrad graduation (though mum is making me) incase the photos are equally horrific!

    Do what you gotta do chick, this is your journey x
  • goodasgoldilox165
    goodasgoldilox165 Posts: 333 Member
    Fat or thin, I've never liked the camera - and don't often look back at myself in pictures.

    However, I do wonder if it is neccesary to accept and love those past versions of me.
    Everything I am now began back there. Must I feel ashamed?

    The important people in my life were never repulsed by the images - even when they met them in the flesh.

    Would I pity and reject other people if they looked like those pictures? I don't think so.
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    Hm. Thing is that I do think i did the whole acceptance thing. I had to stop hating myself to make the change at all.... Maybe that's part of the aversion to putting the fat me out there to be goggled at.
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
    No, I don't have any before pics.
  • muirspud
    muirspud Posts: 27 Member
    My profile pic, is me of just under 4 year ago, I was about 20lb heavier before i started to lose weight in that pic.

    During my bad fat days, i didnt have pics done, nor went to many family events. I even didnt have a camera on my fone. But after losing a bit of weight, and being about 17 1/2 stone (245lb), i wasnt bothered about the pics i had of me, as i was pretty happy, still being big as i knew i was a hell of alot worst, plus i accepted i would always be chunky all my life.

    Now i love my pic being done, as i discovered ive got a jaw line for the first time in about 8-9 years!
  • AH2013
    AH2013 Posts: 385 Member
    I don't think any of us are comfortable about our (really) fat pics, in the same we that none of us want that time we did something really stupid, rehashed at a dinner party for all to hear. It allows all of our guilt, shame and humiliation to surface and that's never pretty! We'd much rather everyone only ever thought of us as we are now. Absolutely fair enough!!

    I agonised over doing a before and during pic and really, it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be and was a big surprise to me how much of a difference there was. No one on here knows me in my "real" life so what's the harm, we're all here for the same reason!

    Don't do it if you really don't want to, you don't have to please anyone but yourself, but maybe you'll find it gives you a massive boost?? :)

Categories