-
What Day Is It?
Geek Pride Day. The parade has been cancelled. Everyone was too shy. Towel Day. Geeks get it. Most of the rest of us just want a fresh, clean, warm one to dry with as we get out of the shower. BTW, that's shower, not bath. Bathers, who waste water with a bath, usually wrap one around their bodies and waste another on their…
-
What Day Is It?
National Brother Day. Show him how much you appreciate and love him. Give him a bouquet of noogies, Indian burns, finger bend backs and meaningful, sneak attack, painful back slaps. National Escargot Day. Another one of those "look at those cute slimy, shelled pests eating my grape leaves. I bet they would taste good"…
-
What Day Is It?
National Lucky Penny Day. " Find a penny, pick it up, and all the day: you'll have good luck." If you don't strain a back muscle, or if someone doesn't see you and walks right into your butt, or you don't get run over by a bicyclist, car, truck or bus, or if you don't tip over, or if it's in a yellow puddle. National Wig…
-
What Day Is It?
This week is: National New Friends, Old Friends Week. The older I get, the more my memory indulges in old friends becoming brand new ones and new acquaintances are old friends whose names I can't quite remember. World Trade Week. No, this does not refer to those "put your keys in the pot" parties. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Today is:…
-
What Day Is It?
May Ray Day. https://youtu.be/qoYsfbq3vMc National Pizza Party Day. I'm sorry to inform you. No. I'm not sorry. Pizza Hut, Dominoes, and Little Caesars may taste OK to you, but they don't sell pizza. National Devil's Food Cake Day. Cindy! National Scooter Day. Adult scooter = One really strong leg. Rhubarb Festival --…
-
What Day Is It?
I Love Reese's Day. As far as my research goes, and that's not deep, there is only one person in the United States of America, and I won't reveal who he or she is or that she is a not on the tall side Southerner living on the ocean in one of the Carolina's with cats, who doesn't like Reese's. National No Dirty Dishes Day.…
-
What Day Is It?
National Employee Health & Fitness Day. Today. 12 PM sharp. Calisthenics. South parking lot. We have a year to catch up on. Turn Beauty Inside Out Day. The Beast won't mind, just be quiet about it. Pack Rat Day. Don't empty the trash today, or ever again. Don't worry. Febreze will mask the maggot scent. National Cherry…
-
What Day Is It?
National Coquilles St. Jacques Day. Let's make America great by eating a French calorie and fat bomb. National Piercing Day. Please try to keep Granny away from Ye Olde Tattoo and Piercing Shoppe this year. It took forever to get rid of that belly button fat fold infection last year. Sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" in Rounds…
-
What Day Is It?
This is American Craft Beer Week. So many choices. So few port-a-potties. >>>>>>>> National Chocolate Chip Day. Much smaller and more pleasing to the palate than cow chips. Nylon Stockings Day. Ask 97.3% of guys. Pantyhose are not the same. Straw Hat Day. Because you never know when you'll find a free Slider and Coke.…
-
What Day Is It?
National Odometer Day. Did used chariot dealers have the facilities and tools to fix chariot clocks and match those to freshly detailed rolledback steeds? (It's an old car guy thing) National Public Gardens Day. No one will notice the properly trimmed and maintained cannabis. After-all, you're only growing it for the…
-
What Day Is It?
Eat What You Want Day! This is it. You want ketchup on your hot dog, Sicko? You want anchovies, pineapple, coconut and ham on your pizza, Dweeb? You want that entire chocolate cake, Lardass? Just do it. You won't pay for those sins...today. Hostess Cupcake Day. Celebrate the third best munchies food you pot heads will…
-
What Day Is It?
National Root Canal Appreciation Day. So easy and painless it can be performed outdoors, in a ball park, blocking home plate, by a rock and roll dentist. National Shrimp Day. Cindy and all of you other "can't reach-its", this is your day! Be brave. Walk tall. Oh sorry, you can't. Buy a periscope to see whatever is in those…
-
What Day Is It?
Hurray for Buttons Day. When will women's clothing have buttons on the right, or men's on the left? Is it because the Left can't stand change? Is it because the Left and Right refuse to co-operate? Perhaps the answer is top button right, second button left, alternating down the garment. A completely unbiased survey of the…
-
What Day Is It?
Weeks: Drinking Water Week. To compare the price of bottled water to gasoline; if you were to fill your BMW gas tank with bling water, it would cost you approximately $8000 to install a new engine. Update Your References Week. It's time to remove screen names used on social networking sites like StachePassions.com,…
-
What Day Is It?
No Pants Day. Wear clean underwear today of all days. No skirts, no gym shorts, no pants, no excuses. You may or may not spend a little quality jail time, but if everyone does it, what can they do? Revenge of the Fifth. This marks two days in a row for Star Wars Lispers. International Tuba Day. Where would we be without…
-
What Day Is It?
National Day of Reason. Within politics this is called National Day Of Dollars, aka the reason I ran for office, aka money makes the bills go 'round. International Respect for Chickens Day. Won't bungee jump? Won't para-sail? Won't even touch a ladder? Won't argue your point with the boss? Well Chicken Man, this is your…
-
What Day Is It?
World Press Freedom Day. IMHO the last time we could trust the "press" was when they printed the announcement atop the Cross. National Two Different Colored Shoes Day. Not just for hung over adults anymore. Today it's a fashion statement. National Lumpy Rug Day. This is about Virtual Spring Cleaning. This is about all the…
-
What Day Is It?
National Chocolate Truffle Day. Giving addicts 122 years of chub making ecstasy. Take a Baby to Lunch Day. It doesn't have to be your own. Borrow a grandchild. Go to an intimate Michelin five star restaurant and wait for the crying to start. It'll be fun. Roberts Rules of Order Day. Our politicians' rules for making…
-
What Day Is It?
May is: National Service Dog Eye Examination Month. How do they tell the eye vet which way the "E" is pointing, which line they can read, what the letters are, and then which is better "1 or 2, 1 or 2"? National Sweet Vidalia Onions Month. The only reason Georgia is allowed to remain in the Union. International Civility…
-
What Day Is It?
National Kiss Your Mate Day. If you require a special day for this, your someone special may not be "that special someone". Move on, hairball. Pay It Forward Day. Buy that impatient hairball behind you at Starbucks a triple vente frappiccino half-caf quad no-whip one pump mocha soy cinnamon dolce no foam latte to go and…
-
What Day Is It?
National Prime Rib Day. Thank you vegetarians, vegans and Hindus for your portions of the only food comparable to bacon. Matanzas Mule Day. Bow your heads and observe a moment of silent reverence on this 119th Anniversary of of this brave fighter's sacrifice. Morse Code Day. The first form of communication to fall into…
-
What Day Is It?
Hug An Australian Day. Men, find Nicole Kidman. Do it. Women, find Keith Urban. Do it. It'll be fun. Aussies love us. National Pretzel Day. Free pretzels everywhere! If anyone attempts to stop and question you, just mention my name and run like hell. World Stationery Day. For you Millennials: stationery/ˈsteɪʃ(ə)n(ə)ri…
-
What Day Is It?
Red Hat Society Day. If you see a group of red hatted women hanging out on a dark corner do not, I repeat do not answer if one of them asks you if her jeans make her *kitten* look big. Run as fast as you can. They can't run well wearing heels. National Mani-Pedi Day. It's OK for a guy to do the pedi part, but skip the nail…
-
What Day Is It?
Bedbug Awareness Week. Only the most discerning bedbugs reside in and follow you home from the top AAA Five Diamond and Forbes Five Star hotels. National Sky Awareness Week. Look up. It won't go away. It won't fall, whether your candidate won or not. National Princess Week. Your daughter will always be the only princess in…
-
What Day Is It?
National Surprise Drug Test Day. Oops! Keep Off the Grass Day. Appropriately scheduled time for recouping from yesterday's binge munchies. World Creativity and Innovation Day. Would this not have been more creatively done yesterday? Bulldogs are Beautiful Day. What could be more beautiful than a dog that ran snout first…
-
What Day Is It?
National Look Alike Day. David Beckham looks like me today, and I know this pleases him to no end. International Pizza Cake Day. If it's tall enough to be called a cake, there is too much crust to be bestowed the hallowed honorific "Pizza". National Pineapple Upside-Down Cake Day. Baking it with the top on the bottom…
-
What Day Is It?
Bicycle Day. Please while using Lake Shore Drive don't turn up "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds". National Hanging Out Day. Your neighbors won't mind that rope stretched across your yard with semi-clean old socks and racing striped granny panties and boxers attached by over-sized wooden safety pins. National Garlic Day. Keep…
-
What Day Is It?
Income Tax Pay Day. Face it. You procrastinated thus far. You won't have it done by tonight. Bring your still un-done 1040 to your local IRS agent next month. Surrender. Jail time isn't so bad today. Bubba will take care of you in your new 9 X 12 home. National Velociraptor Awareness Day. Isn't this about 75,000,000 years…
-
What Day Is It?
This is Cleaning For A Reason Week. Mother-in-law moving in? Mother-in-law staying for a week? Mother-in-law spending the day? Mother-in-law coming for dinner? Mother-in-law picking you up, but MAY need to use the "facility"? Malbec World Day. I suppose you winos will be ecstatic and all huggie kissie today. Please keep it…
-
What Day Is It?
National Ex-Spouse Day. You can celebrate in a good way or a bad way. Pick one. Do not linger. Move on. Reach as High as You Can Day. Some of us can actually reach that top shelf. Then there are those poor souls who only know it's there, somewhere over the rainbow. https://youtu.be/PSZxmZmBfnU National Pecan Day. Celebrate…
