Willpower is overrated

jgnatca

Kikisian on a diet soda thread mentioned that some psychologists suggest that willpower is a limited resource. Yes! I'd say it even stronger than that. There's a growing body of evidence that we have a limited amount of willpower and once it is exhausted, it is very hard to stay the course.
https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/willpower-limited-resource.pdf
So enough with beating ourselves up already for having a "bad" day.
And let's be kind to ourselves and the foods we love. If it isn't killing us, enjoy it. In moderation, controlled of course, but don't even try to abstain completely.
It is true that it has taken a great deal of determination in the past year to lose my weight, but I was just as determined to be kind to myself. I made a pact with my unconscious, hedonistic self that I would deprive myself of nothing. Be happy. Choose wisely. Breathe.
This goes along with the homily that weight loss is a marathon, not a sprint.

jgnatca

bump

TossaBeanBag

If you choose not to push yourself (and your goal is just contentment), then Don’t be upset by the results you didn’t get with the work you didn’t do.

jgnatca

Here's the thing, jbach2, I've had a steady weight loss for over a year. I have added whole new realms of activity in my life, and gradually tuned my diet. Lost eighty pounds so far. Cruisin' along and doing very well.

Sabine_Stroehm

The power of habit (book) suggests the same. It also suggests developing good habits so you idon'thave to rely on willpower in times of need. Congrats on your loss!

Kalikel

Glad you found a way that works for you. Congrats!!

jenilla1

My willpower seems endless...I think some people have more than others, and I think it also depends on how badly you want something vs. the alternative. As long as I recharge my batteries with long weekend hikes in the hills I don't seem to have a problem. That's my reward for making it through the week - time outdoors! (*) I don't think I would make it if I didn't live in a warm, sunny climate. Cold and dark conditions sap my energy. (I think I'm solar-powered )

OP, sounds like you've got a good strategy for the long haul. Good luck!

999tigger

So your point are dont beat yourself up and eat in moderation as lifestyle changes? The type of thing I read a zillion times a day on the MFP forums. Not sure what you are saying thats new?

Qskim

Don't know where I read this but it's stuck with me...willpower is only good for the first trip past the cookie jar. If you think you can't leave it alone for the second trip, hide the cookie jar or plan for two cookies.

jenilla1

Yikes!!! Quotes from the article:

"...people who felt compelled to exert self-control (in order
to please others, for example) were more easily depleted than people who were driven by their own internal goals and desires..."

"...volunteers who had been led to believe that willpower was a limited
resource showed signs of ego depletion, while those who had been led to
believe that willpower was not limited showed no signs of dwindling self-
control."

In the first quote, I'm seeing that people who's motivation comes from within have stronger willpower than people who are doing something for someone else. That makes total sense and it's something I think people really need to get a handle on before they start a weight loss endeavor. A lot of people might not be doing it for the right reasons, so they lack the willpower to follow through. Something to think about... (*)

In the second quote, isn't the article basically telling us that our beliefs about willpower are like self-fulfilling prophesies? If we think we lack sufficient willpower then we do? OP, are you trying to sabotage my willpower by telling me it's a limited resource!? NOOOOO! I won't let you!!!

Interesting article. I enjoyed it.

michellemybelll

my boyfriend tends to refer to this Aristotle quote- "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." I think it absolutely rings true. Willpower is finite. Self discipline which creates habits will lead to success - whether with weight loss, health, fitness, career, etc.

2boys111

I couldn't agree more with your post! I think this will also be my key to success. I'm glad to hear it is working for you!!

jgnatca

jenilla1 wrote: »

My willpower seems endless...I think some people have more than others, and I think it also depends on how badly you want something vs. the alternative.

The take-away from the limited supply idea is that any saps on our willpower takes from the entire amount. If we are fairly good at self-care, then willpower will be easier. If chunks of willpower are sucked up by chaotic events then there's less willpower for food. Jenilla, I do live in a harsh climate, and it seems the entire city goes in to a deep funk the first time the thermometer drops to -20C. Then we have the stupid tradition to renew our resolutions at the coldest, darkest time of year!

It could be also if all our willpower centers around food, we show less self-control when dealing with others. You know; the cranky dieter.

I notice a general theme at MFP to tell newcomers and whiners to "suck it up, buttercup". That might be a little unfair. The newcomers maybe aren't sure how to jump-start their willpower, and are looking for the magic pill. Also someone finding a million excuses why they haven't succeeded in the past (a whiner) may be beating themselves up unnecessarily, not realizing that a few little successes, a few habit changes will drive them to goal in spite of themselves.

A few of you mention habit change, and I heartily agree. It's huge to change a long-standing habit but once established, not as much "willpower" is required to keep it going. It is now harder for me to sit still all day than to be active. That's a huge change.

pscarolina

I think this is why so many try & fail on calorie counts that aren't sustainable long term. When you inevitably give up & gain it all back you remember how miserable you felt on low calorie plans & feel stressed before you even start a new diet. It has been a blessing not to feel deprived of anything. #gelato

ThePhoenixIsRising

Willpower is what I use to build the habits that will get me to my goals!

TossaBeanBag

jgnatca wrote: »

Here's the thing, jbach2, I've had a steady weight loss for over a year. I have added whole new realms of activity in my life, and gradually tuned my diet. Lost eighty pounds so far. Cruisin' along and doing very well.

Awesome job! You obviously have some will power, and you do not achieve anything being content. Great job!

jgnatca

Exactly, pscarolina!

Phoenix, by being kinder to myself I have carefully chosen what to tackle each week. This time around I didn't try and change everything at once. From the point of view of an outsider, it looks like I've exercised huge willpower. But I've been strategic, focused.

snowflake930

Along with all of this, is staggering statistics that the vast majority of people will gain the weight back, after being successful. Just last week I read an article about a study, I think it was in Australia, that showed that gaining the weight back (many times gaining even more weight) occurs in people across the board, whether the loss was a small amount or a lot of weight did not factor into gaining back.

Anyway, for me (I have lost 160+ pounds), I will have to continue to be diligent and I do think, at least for me, will power really factors into it. I have been maintaining for 1 year now. I hope I can keep it up, I certainly will try to.

BZAH10

Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »

The power of habit (book) suggests the same. It also suggests developing good habits so you idon'thave to rely on willpower in times of need. Congrats on your loss!

This X2!

BZAH10

ThePhoenixIsRising wrote: »

Willpower is what I use to build the habits that will get me to my goals!

This is also a very important point. One I use that works for me. Great post, OP! Always good to share what works for you as it can help others, too.

jgnatca

I am adding that book to my reading list!