Brand New Day!

TheFutureMrsM2015

Hello! I’m Shannon -aka- TheFutureMrsM2015 (getting married September of 2015). I've been on and off calorie counting sites far too many times. This is not my first rodeo with trying to lose weight.

Earlier this year I made a commitment to get healthy, not skinny. I was to be turning 25 in March and I felt like I lived my life on the side lines, never actually living. I wanted to give myself another day to live with the love of my life. I researched and researched until my head exploded, so much information on the damn internet. But, you know what happened. Another round of fad diets, weight loss gimmicks and no weight loss.

I lived a not so great childhood, adopted into a family that seemed loving on the outside but riddled with mental and emotional abuse. 25 years of it and the only thing I felt I could control was my food. In May, I was forced to cut off all contact with them due to threats and hateful messages. So much so, that I had to change contact information. It wasn’t what I wanted to happen, but it needed to. My idealized thought of the perfect family shattered. My daddy no longer there to walk me down the aisle. I was heart broken. But, then I realized my excuse of why I was fat and unhealthy was gone. I was scared. Now what? Now what if I try again and I fail? Worse yet, what if I succeed? I haven’t had much success in life…I’m scared of it. I self sabotage like the best.

And, October 6th, 2014 I stepped on the scale and saw the highest number I have EVER seen in my life. I broke down crying. I had been not eating properly and I knew it, making excuses or saying 'I'll start tomorrow' my tomorrow never came. I put it off and continued the cycle. That day I realized that by the end of this month I could be in the 220's with how I was going. TODAY IS MY TOMORROW. No more waiting.

But, now I’m feeling determined. I will succeed, it will take time though. It won’t happen overnight like I want. It won’t happen with pills, shakes or wraps. It won’t happen by binging then purging. It WILL happen with hard work, sweat, tears and determination.

We are now in the process of moving back across the country to be by family and to get better jobs. It's a stressful time and I don't need to be adding on more weight.

And, I am happy to say that after weighing in on Monday, I weighed today and I am down 2.4 pounds. I don't care if it's water weight or what have you, it is going in the right direction and at this point in my very stressful like, I LOVE IT!

TwitterLVT

Welcome! It sounds like you have the motivation and what it takes to make this happen for yourself! Good luck!!

TossaBeanBag

Welcome. My doctor has me eating 50% protein, 30%carbs, 20% fats at a slight caloric deficit. She is a bodybuilder with about 5% bodyfat. It seems to be working. I am quickly dropping fat and putting on muscle. She has me on this site to track the ratios. It takes work to get into shape - a lot of dietary planning (something I really did not do much before). I sure know how to exercise, but I never knew how to really effectively eat to burn fat off and maintain muscle. It is a lot different than I imagined. 5 meals a day (small ones), and I am always full. I have trouble hitting my calorie goals. I hope this helps... Good luck.

HannahRodriguez

Good luck, I understand what you mean, as a child I was sexually abused and being fat always gave me what felt like a protective layer. I wasn't pretty so no one would look at me. Now that I'm 25 and in a committed long term relationship I'm ready to be the real me who doesn't hide behind food but it's hard, damn hard to change.