Meaghan Ramsey: Why thinking you're ugly is bad for you

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jgnatca
jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
in Motivation and Support
This recent Ted talk is a real eye-opener. Do you see yourself in Meaghan's talk? When is the last time you kissed your image in the mirror? It's got me thinking, let me tell you.

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  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    I've never kissed my image or made kissy faces at myself. That would be too weird.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    The talk I am referencing, Meaghan's one year old niece kisses herself in the mirror. For some reason we stop loving ourselves so much. On another note, what do you think of kissyface selfies?
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    That's adorable at 1. Not so cute at 25+/ Some people are ugly but they think they are beautiful. It causes them to have really high standards and wonder why they can't find the one. Is that not just as dangerous?
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    At one, I also pooped my pants. I've stopped since. It's ok, I'm happy without making kissyfaces. Really.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    My weight loss support group, many are struggling with body issues. With significant weight loss, the body does not snap back in to teenybopper shape. Skin wrinkles and sags. I've got elephant knees right now, and a few other embarrassing saggy bits. Can I love myself as I am?
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    The talk I am referencing, Meaghan's one year old niece kisses herself in the mirror. For some reason we stop loving ourselves so much. On another note, what do you think of kissyface selfies?

    A one year old doesn't have a sense of self. It thinks it's seeing another baby.

    I hate kissy face selfies. It's not a flattering face to make at all!
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
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    jgnatca wrote: »
    My weight loss support group, many are struggling with body issues. With significant weight loss, the body does not snap back in to teenybopper shape. Skin wrinkles and sags. I've got elephant knees right now, and a few other embarrassing saggy bits. Can I love myself as I am?

    We can't tell you the answer about how you might feel or your potential to feel something.

    Though once you stop being physically young, is it really a body image issue to have trouble with your aging body or is it a trouble accepting reality and the aging process? You can't look 20, 25, 30, 40 forever. Why would someone 40+ realistically expect their body to look and feel like it did 20 years ago? 20 year olds aren't mourning their newborn bodies.
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    jgnatca wrote: »
    My weight loss support group, many are struggling with body issues. With significant weight loss, the body does not snap back in to teenybopper shape. Skin wrinkles and sags. I've got elephant knees right now, and a few other embarrassing saggy bits. Can I love myself as I am?

    I don't know if you can.

    And I'm not referring to you personally because you mentioned a support group probably comprised of many individuals. But why would any woman over 45 years of age "struggle" with the fact that after weight loss, the skin won't look the same as it did at age 25?

    I mean there are struggles and there are "struggles". But then again, I'm glad I live in the first world with all its first world problems.

    And here's a pic of Bridgette Bardot who clearly doesn't give a ****. Love her.





    She's one of the most terrible human beings - loves her dogs but is extremely xenophobic. Hate her.
  • oedipa_maas
    oedipa_maas Posts: 577 Member
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    It is entirely normal to feel sad or afraid about aging, especially if you are a woman, since society can give messages that older woman are invisible or obsolete. It's important to not give the feelings or social messages too much weight, to not build things on a foundation of internalized negativity. Which is about not feeling ugly solely because you are older. Learning how to love yourself while accepting your imperfections seems an important component of weight loss for many people who are trying to lose weight. It is for me, anyway. I sometimes find a thousand reasons why I'm ugly, why my middle aged body is my enemy, why I'm societally useless. Well eff that. Take back those voices, tell them to sod off, and learn to give yourself counter messages when you're mired in "I'm ugly and worthless." I may not go so far as to feel beautiful, but I can feel better about myself while accepting my physical imperfections. I would rather have my mind screwed on straight than spend a lifetime obsessing about what's wrong with me.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Oedipa, thank you for that. I think you hit closest to what I am talking about. When there is significant weight loss (I'm talking fifty pounds plus), I can't help walk back in time when I was last that weight. I was a much younger version of myself, let me tell you. Personally, I am celebrating the change, even if elephant knees snap me back to reality. My upper arms have grown floppy wings, and my belly is developing an upside down kangaroo pouch. This is all me. I laugh, I dance, I enjoy my lighter, more agile self. The ignorant may see simply as dumpy or "fat", but this body records a terrific improvement in health and mobility.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,820 Member
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    Here's what I figure, I'm so much more than how I look. SO much more. It used to bother me that I'm not pretty, but I've learned my worth isn't wrapped up in my face. I'm trying to focus on what my body can do, instead of how it looks, because there will always be flaws, no matter how hard I work. So I'm trying to stop looking for flaws and instead looking for all the awesome I'm capable of doing. I may not be a size four anymore, and I probably never will be again, but I CAN deadlift my body weight, and that's pretty cool.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    Wow, I can't dead lift my body weight yet!

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