You don’t want to lose more do you?

NikonPal
NikonPal Posts: 1,346 Member
edited October 2014 in Health and Weight Loss
You don’t want to lose more do you?

How many times have I heard that in the last few months? Then someone else will say: “you look great. You aren’t fat.”

The facts are: I have gone from “severe obesity” to “morbid obesity” to “super obesity” to “obese” – next stop is “mildly obesity.” There is no way I am not still “fat.”

I am small-boned according my doctor; but let’s lie and say I have a large frame. I would need to lose another 70 pounds to be at the highest ideal body weight for my height. I’d need to lose 90 more pounds if I was honest and looked at the small-frame column.

My end goal is 25-30 pounds ABOVE the top range for my height – assuming a large frame. I will consider it a huge success if I hit and maintain that number.

I usually end these mostly well-meaning comments with:

“If you can show me any ideal height/weight chart that indicates I am not fat, I will consider adjusting my plan.”

That usually ends the conversation...

Note: There is also the thought a “few” people might not be as happy for me, as they say, with regards to my progress. But I push those thoughts from my head and keep moving forward.

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Replies

  • ukaryote
    ukaryote Posts: 860 Member
    edited October 2014
    Insulting: "Yes, I want to lose about 180 more pounds. Would you leave now?" (adjust number to match their weight)

    Family: "Thank you for your concern. Please, let's talk again after I hit that weight."

    Others: "Yes. Hey, how 'bout that ball game last night?"

    So-called experts: "And you have published your study where?"
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    "Thanks for trying to be nice but my doctor says I still have at least another 70 pounds to lose to reach a healthy weight." Hard to argue with that one, right?

    The problem is, most of those people have never seen you at a healthy weight so they don't have a comparison except to your obese self. It's like seeing someone who has always worn glasses in contacts. They look odd.
  • kar328
    kar328 Posts: 4,159 Member
    edited October 2014
    I've gotten that comment once. I'm still in the obese category and there's still work to be done. I'm aiming for a BMI of 24.9 and then will decide from there. That's over 40 lbs away and I'm only 5'2" so it really shows a lot. The comments get worse as the weight drops off, most people are fine, but some of my coworkers have a talent for backhanded insults. If I hear "skinny minnie" one more time ...

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  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    They're trying to be nice.

    If you just say, "I'm really not sure how much more I have to lose. I'll have to see when I get there," they won't pretend that you're already skinny. If you say the doctor says you need to lose X number of pounds, they'll just pretend they can't believe it.

    I have some experience with this, lol. :)
  • yc4king
    yc4king Posts: 117 Member
    I hear that semi-regularly, I honestly don't care if they think i have lost enough, i'm losing it for myself, not for them.

    I usually just reply with "well thanks, i'm glad you think I am looking better". Just because I don't care doesn't mean I need to be rude about it.
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
    edited October 2014
    Ugh, nosey nosey, overly (wrongly?) opinionated people, right? Makes me glad know one I know IRL gives two hoots about my weight/size.
  • arditarose
    arditarose Posts: 15,573 Member
    I get this alllll the time. I'm now currently at the very top of my height/weight ratio. I just don't understand it. Am I not allowed to be a thin person too?
  • geneticsteacher
    geneticsteacher Posts: 623 Member
    I am getting this from my doctor. She wants me to be 25 lbs. over where I am comfortable due to mild osteopenia (bone loss). She wants my BMI to be around 25. I am trying to convince her to let me try added vitamin D and weight bearing exercise first.
  • Wenchiness
    Wenchiness Posts: 126 Member
    edited October 2014
    I think it's awesome that you are hearing that. Be happy, smile and say thanks. Then do as you're going to anyway
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  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
    geneticsteacher wrote: »
    I am getting this from my doctor. She wants me to be 25 lbs. over where I am comfortable due to mild osteopenia (bone loss). She wants my BMI to be around 25. I am trying to convince her to let me try added vitamin D and weight bearing exercise first.

    That's different, though. The OP is complaining about laypeople who just think (or say) that he has lost enough weight. You're talking about a medical opinion due to a diagnosed condition. The research about which I have read (mostly in Alex Hutchinson's and Gretchen Reynolds's books - Hutchinson gives references) suggests that you have good reason to try added vitamin D and weight bearing exercise, especially exercise like running or jumping rope that places high impact on bones. But that's a question of a medical opinion, not just "I think you should stop losing" because {you're too thin/you're making me look bad/I am afraid you might be sick/whatever}.

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  • ahoier
    ahoier Posts: 312 Member
    Yep.......I've heard this.....what gets me more peeved, is the ones that ask me, "what kind of diet are you on?" LOL.....I tell them....no diet.....just food control....and then plug the hell outta myfitnesspal.....show them the app on my phone.....lol.

    Can we get referral tracking? :pensive:
    haha

    Actually, the ones that I often boast it to, probably wouldn't have the dedication I do :wink:

    I get some snide remarks when I tell people I'm trying to get down to 169.....they go what.....? When was the last time you were 169.....? You always been fat!" lol......stuff like that......and the truth is.....at the age of 30 now.....I honestly can't remember the last time I was 169......haha. I remember my high school psychical, I weighed 250....that was it.

    I always remember back to school season.....I was always getting 1X and 2XL clothing.....well......I now fit into LARGE shirts/pants......my "2XL" gym shorts are waaaayyy baggy on me, lol. I really should toss them :pensive:
  • happyfeetrebel1
    happyfeetrebel1 Posts: 1,005 Member
    I get that too. I honestly think that people get so used to seeing you at a much higher weight, that in their minds, you're 'skinny' now

    And I think it's kind of them, too, to say it :)
  • odddrums
    odddrums Posts: 342 Member
    yc4king wrote: »
    I hear that semi-regularly, I honestly don't care if they think i have lost enough, i'm losing it for myself, not for them.

    I usually just reply with "well thanks, i'm glad you think I am looking better". Just because I don't care doesn't mean I need to be rude about it.

    This is great, I'm going to start using this line.
  • holly55555
    holly55555 Posts: 306 Member
    I mean honestly, most people are fat. Even if not in pounds, in body fat percentage. Do you want unhealthy and overweight people giving advice on your health? No. So don't listen to them.

    I am skinny fat and people are shocked that I am losing weight. But they don't understand that my body fat percentage was overweight, although my scale # wasn't high. At one point, I was at 30% body fat, but still fit in size 0 jeans. However, anyone who knows fitness could look at me and know I have too much fat to be healthy. It just depends on who you are asking.

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