Life happened?

healthygreek

I've noticed that a lot of people say "life happened" and that's why they gained all the weight back. When I hear that, it sounds like it's not they're own doing. It's like not taking responsibility for ones own choices.
It's like you're minding your own business and then BAM! Life happens and you're fat all of a sudden.
Life didn't just stuff your face too much-you did!
The "life happened" excuse will always make weightloss unsustainable I think. Just my opinion.

Chevy_Quest

In because I like the "idea" of this post.
I have recently been able to lose weight during one of the most stressful 28 day work stretches of my career. Life is definitely happening now. But I am dealing with it differently.

Jennloella

I hate it when they blame babies/kids or having a desk job.

LeonCX

I blame my thyroid. It weighs 250 pounds.

radario

I've probably said life happened. I don't mean it to absolve myself of blame. Quite the opposite. To me this passive statement -something which happens to you - conveys a lack of control, a lack of mindfulness. Right now I truly have a fire in my soul to achieve my goals to transform myself physically and mentally. Before the fire there was fog: a lack of clarity of mind, a lack of ownership; powerlessness, a sense of being overwhelmed by events that were beyond my control. I did not realise I was allowing life to merely happen to me. Now I'm awake, I'm happening with it. Mindfully.
Don't be so hard on people, some of us need time to lick our wounds and find our way back to the driving seat.

It was never meant as an excuse - it was a description of my state of mind. I own it.

thatsillyshana23

It's like saying *kitten* hit the fan or *kitten* just got real. Life happens and they might not want to go into detail. Sometimes crises happen all at once and fitness gets pushed on the backburner because they're entering survival mode. Sure, I could have focused on not eating so much when my "life happened," but people deal with crisis and emotions differently. That doesn't mean anything is unattainable or unsustainable.

radario

Well said thatsillyshana23.

DawnieB1977

Jennloella wrote: »

I hate it when they blame babies/kids or having a desk job.

Excuse me, I put on weight in pregnancy despite exercising and logging, so it does happen I'm afraid. It's not an excuse, just a fact. I'm losing it though (I was back at the gym when she was 6 weeks old).

As for 'life happens' I have 3 kids and my husband works shifts and I can still eat healthily and exercise, despite lack of sleep for 5 months! Like I said, I exercised all pregnancy, even though the nausea and exhaustion, and I was working then too.

Even when my mum was diagnosed with leukaemia in 2012 I still continued exercising and eating healthily.

Boogage

Curious conversation. Life happened for me and I gained 14lbs. Now things are settling down I'm getting back on track and I will reach my new goal. For me, its just been a learning curve. I learned that I do have think about what I'm eating or I will gain weight and the muscle I gained from working out isn't helping me burn off the amount of calories I've been consuming! I've learned that even if I fall of the wagon, I can get back on and I've found I actually feel like I fit my skin better at a slightly higher weight so maybe trying to stay at the weight I got down to isn't really right for me anyway. Its been great that for nearly 2 months now people haven't asked if I'm sick and I'm getting more male attention when I'm out and about these days haha. Life happening gave me a break from obsessing about every mouthful and bordering on an eating disorder and made me remember that there were interesting things going on around me that I should be involved with rather than being stuck in my own little weight loss world.

radario

Hey DawnieB1977, I hear you, I could write a pretty devastating list of life's curveballs but I decided not to even bother going there. What do these people want us to say: ok congratulations you are better human beings than us and I'm a useless whingy piece of *kitten*? Well if that makes them feel better I pity them.
We're here now, we're owning this so give us a break.

onefortyone

I've never used 'life happens' as an excuse for myself, but I definitely wouldn't judge someone or say their weight is inexcusable, or their loss journey is unsustainable for any reason. Why judge anyone else if you're happy where you are at?

You don't turn to excess comfort food when something devastating happens to you? Good for you. Or you do but found it easy to overcome? Awesome. Some of us are working to overcome a lifetime of comfort eating without even realising we did it, and being judged for the words we use to describe our journey isn't acceptable, IMO.

SteampunkSongbird

A lot of people also simply use the phrase as a way of making a long story short; there is always more to it, maybe they had a baby which takes up all their time time, or a busy work schedule that leaves them very tired, pressure from family/friends, financial troubles that leave them unable to focus on other things etc.. life, basically. It doesn't always have to mean they're fobbing off their own responsibility, sometimes people simply don't want to go into any details about the things that caused them to fall off the wagon (which is fair enough considering those details aren't really anyone's business) so saying 'life happened' is merely the shortest, least-divulgent phrase for them to use.

jennifer_417

Yep, let's nitpick at the verbiage of someone who obviously already feels guilty, and is here trying to do something about it. I'm sure it'll really help.

Chevy_Quest

..

AmigaMaria001

Life does happen, but that's where discipline comes into play! Life will ALWAYS happen; we have to be disciplined enough to stick with the journey.

Chevy_Quest

..

ukaryote

healthygreek wrote: »

I've noticed that a lot of people say "life happened" and that's why they gained all the weight back. When I hear that, it sounds like it's not they're own doing. It's like not taking responsibility for ones own choices.
It's like you're minding your own business and then BAM! Life happens and you're fat all of a sudden.
Life didn't just stuff your face too much-you did!
The "life happened" excuse will always make weightloss unsustainable I think. Just my opinion.

Yes, it is your opinion. :Life happened" can be shorthand for events that people would rather not discuss in detail. Reading profiles, it is frequently a negative event that triggers over-eating, which is an easy habit to acquire and difficult to drop.

Obesity, like all life issues, is not simply about willpower and to imply it is to trivialize the issue. If we follow your reasoning, no one has any "excuse" not to own their billion-dollar company, or married well, or completed a PhD, or have a generous, well-balanced personality.

There are barriers and extreme outside influences, such as continuous bombardment with advertising to consume junk food. There is one's own physiology which cannot be controlled, that is, sugary and fatty foods do release dopamines which make you feel better - it is a feedback loop that bashes at every effort you make. There is a generally sedentary work which we are not designed for, and making extra time for exercise must subtract from other pursuits. Depression and stress are frequent causes of over-eating and certainly not excuses. There are reasons you, and others, stuffed your face too much. Food relieves depression and stress, if only for a few minutes.

blossomingbutterfly

radario wrote: »

I've probably said life happened. I don't mean it to absolve myself of blame. Quite the opposite. To me this passive statement -something which happens to you - conveys a lack of control, a lack of mindfulness. Right now I truly have a fire in my soul to achieve my goals to transform myself physically and mentally. Before the fire there was fog: a lack of clarity of mind, a lack of ownership; powerlessness, a sense of being overwhelmed by events that were beyond my control. I did not realise I was allowing life to merely happen to me. Now I'm awake, I'm happening with it. Mindfully.
Don't be so hard on people, some of us need time to lick our wounds and find our way back to the driving seat.

It was never meant as an excuse - it was a description of my state of mind. I own it.

THIS

debubbie

For me, 'life happened" was an easy way to describe the fact that within less than three months I lost my sister, was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, lost an uncle, and my father passed away. I had to make the arrangements, deliver the eulogies, and become the executor of both my father's and sister's estates. In an effort to stay busy and not have time to think about everything that I had lost, I worked to obtain two Masters degrees, coached two high school sports, and helped with a third sport, all while still working a full time job. Now that I have finished the degrees, I have changed jobs and gave up coaching because I realized that I needed to make my health a priority. Saying that people are using "life happens" as a cop out is inconsiderate and rude IMO because you do not know what is going on in someone else's life and the difficulties that they had to overcome before they reached a point that they had the time, energy, resources, or whatever they needed to make a change in their life.

Megabot

debubbie wrote: »

For me, 'life happened" was an easy way to describe the fact that within less than three months I lost my sister, was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, lost an uncle, and my father passed away. I had to make the arrangements, deliver the eulogies, and become the executor of both my father's and sister's estates. In an effort to stay busy and not have time to think about everything that I had lost, I worked to obtain two Masters degrees, coached two high school sports, and helped with a third sport, all while still working a full time job. Now that I have finished the degrees, I have changed jobs and gave up coaching because I realized that I needed to make my health a priority. Saying that people are using "life happens" as a cop out is inconsiderate and rude IMO because you do not know what is going on in someone else's life and the difficulties that they had to overcome before they reached a point that they had the time, energy, resources, or whatever they needed to make a change in their life.

fully agree with this.

I had similar stressors all happen AT ONCE in my life... mom/grandmother/cat all died within a year, I moved multiple times, and I work freelance, so during all this I had to maintain a professional appearance somehow. I was an only child and my mom was a single mom so I got executrix of an estate 3000 miles away (house/etc) I had to borrow money from family to pay for the funeral and fly back and forth. I was single, and had no one left to help me, I didn't even have my sweet little pet. I didn't drop the ball on the estate, I didn't drop the ball on my own work (hafta eat and make money somehow) I didn't miss mortgage or tax payments on the house I never asked for. I was in my 20's. It was incredibly difficult. Something had to give.

believe it or not, there are things in life happen that *ARE* out of people's control. It is terribly sad, self-centered, and naive that you're even spouting this opinion in a public forum designed to help people lose weight with a sense of community.

just my opinion.

healthygreek

Thanks to everyone who let me know and understand what "life happened" means to them.