Recovery from Anorexia

theromanticrain72

I've been struggling with anorexia for over a year now, but recently I became very "successful" at it, and my parents stepped in when my weight was at 88 lbs. I do agree that I want to recover and move on. I'm not seeking professional help for religious reasons, but my father is pressuring me to eat alot and I just hate it. I want my weight to be under 80. I'm unhappy every time I look in the mirror. Advice? Help?

zoeysasha37

Well if you don't want to seek help for religious reasons (?????) Can you speak to one of your religious leaders about it and seek advice from him maybe?
There's definitely an issue if you think 80 lbs is a good goal weight, and you surely need help.

theromanticrain72

Well the thing is that my father doesn't want me to get professional help because he says that that makes me seem like a victim, and this was my choice and my responsibility.

paperalien

You should find a new father, maybe one who is supportive...

You will need professional help, if you don't then it will be even more likely that you relapse.

zoeysasha37

Well if your an adult (which you should be over 18 to be on this site), you can seek help if you want to.

PrizePopple

Thorsmom05 wrote: »

Well if your an adult (which you should be over 18 to be on this site), you can seek help if you want to.

Yeah, you can go seek help on your own without your fathers consent. You are not a victim, you have a disease that needs to be treated. Do not let his way of thinking keep you from getting help. Admitting you have a problem is huge, and takes a lot of guts to do especially to a forum of strangers.

Your father should be advocating for you get help because it is part of his responsibility as a parent to help you - regardless of your age. I'm 33 and sometimes I still need help from my parents too.

luxtnox

Anorexia isn't a choice, it is a mental illness that is recognized by health professionals. Whether you are religious or not, whether your father believes it or not, anorexia is not your fault. It is a very valid disorder that needs to be evaluated and treated by health care professionals. Do not blame yourself, do not let your father blame you. Address the situation with respect for yourself regardless of your weight, you need to see a doctor. It's been between you and a doctor, not you and your father.


Pressure from anyone will in no way help you, it will just worsen your situation. Please consider seeking help from a doctor. I hope you're alright

zoeysasha37

If for whatever reason, you can't see a doctor without your father knowing, then pretend you've gotten a stomach illness and ask him to drive you to see a doctor. Then once you get there and go back into the room with the doctor, then tell the doctor the true reason for your visit. Explain that your father didn't want you to seek help, so you had to make up the story about stomach illness but really are there to seek help for your eating disorder. I'm sure the doctor will help you.
Have you ever heard the saying, " where there's a will, there's a way!" So if you really want help, figure out a way to get some.
Clearly, you need help from a professional. try to speak to a religious leader, or trusted family member and let them know how you feel and see if they can help you.

21million

If you want help, get help. It is your health, your mind, your spirit, your life and your happiness at risk - not your father's. No reasonable, responsible adult would look at you in a negative light for seeking help and psychiatrists don't advertise their patient's problems. YOLO

theromanticrain72

The bottom line is, at least for the time being, I am unable to get psychiatric help. If any of you have advice on ways to overcome this on my own, I would appreciate it.

vespiquenn

Unfortunately, I don't think there is much any of us can do on here. As a sufferer of eating disorders for many years as well, there is nothing we can say or do that will take you out of the mindset of disordered eating. It is completely up to you, especially because you are turning down professional help (assuming you're 18 and can seek it out with or without your father). It is not an easy road, and I don't think you will ever be completely recovered; the thought is always there. The most important thing you need is to remember that you are stronger than the voice that tells you otherwise. But unfortunately, unless you're lucky enough to come across a psychologist or psychiatrist on this website, none of us are truly able to help you recover because we do not have the professional training.

theromanticrain72

I guess what I just don't get is what a doctor is going to be able to tell me that I don't already know. The logical part of my brain knows that people need food, and that weighing 75 lbs is not a good thing. But the bigger part of me doesn't think so.

zericaaaaa

try ALL options before turning to the internet though, honestly. you've never seen a doctor so how do you know if they won't help?

theromanticrain72

I have been to the emergency room doctor. And his words of wisdom were, "You're a beautiful girl, you don't need to lose weight. You need to be healthy. You know that don't you?"

dramaqueen45

Please get professional help soon. I work in mental health, and people don't realize that 10-20% of people diagnosed with anorexia will die from it. That is not made up. That makes anorexia one of the deadliest mental health disorders, period. Don't pay attention to your father who says it's your responsibility because you brought it on or whatever. You are out of control and definitely have a distorted body image. I would recommend a professional who specializes in eating disorders, seriously- get help. Eating disorders are nothing to shrug off- they wreak havoc on your entire body.

zericaaaaa

well ER doctors are a little different than a licensed psychologist. you have to want the help though for it to really work, I've been through therapy for a good chunk of these past 10 years and honestly it CAN make a difference if you let someone help

socalkay

If you are an adult young woman who only weighs 75 lbs, you are in serious trouble. Your life is at risk. This isn't a situation that you can get out of using your own logic and willpower. Don't you think that, if you could handle this on your own, you already would have? If you have a primary care physician, go see your doctor. If not, go to the ER again - and again, if necessary - until you find a doctor informed enough about eating disorders to get you the help you need.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

You need help from a mental health professional who specializes in disordered thinking about food. You need therapy - therapy includes tools to help you cope with 1) negative thoughts and feelings that arise when you think about eating/preparing meals 2) unrealistic/unhealthy weight goals 3) the issues with your father. It will help you develop ways to reorganize your thought patterns and recognize when disordered thinking is creeping in quietly.

PrizePopple

theromanticrain72 wrote: »

I guess what I just don't get is what a doctor is going to be able to tell me that I don't already know. The logical part of my brain knows that people need food, and that weighing 75 lbs is not a good thing. But the bigger part of me doesn't think so.

"I want my weight to be under 80."

To be blunt, they could involuntarily hospitalize you. As has been stated it's a mental illness and disease, and if they decide you are harming yourself they can step in. The fact that you want to stay in a very dangerous weight range is indicative that you are not in the proper mental state to regain weight and your health, which is why we will always urge people to seek help from qualified professionals. It's likely easier to get professional help on your own volition and not get to a point where doctors step in on your behalf.

vespiquenn

theromanticrain72 wrote: »

I guess what I just don't get is what a doctor is going to be able to tell me that I don't already know. The logical part of my brain knows that people need food, and that weighing 75 lbs is not a good thing. But the bigger part of me doesn't think so.

You don't just need a doctor. You need a psychologist/psychiatrist. Through cognitive behavior therapy, over a course of a couple of months to a few years, they try to reconstruct your way of thinking. But already you are showing resistance of the "they'll tell me what I already know." So, once again, there is nothing any of us can do. We can offer advice until our fingers are raw from typing, but it comes down to you to want to get help, which it seems you aren't ready for, unfortunately. I hope you realize the mental help you need soon, because the disorder can obviously kill you the longer you continue.. even years down the line. It's not something to think you're weak over, nor should your family think so. It is a illness that you cannot control. But you can fight back.

acorsaut89

theromanticrain72 wrote: »

I guess what I just don't get is what a doctor is going to be able to tell me that I don't already know. The logical part of my brain knows that people need food, and that weighing 75 lbs is not a good thing. But the bigger part of me doesn't think so.

They are professionals and they know how to help. It would be like if your car broke down, you might know it's XX part that needs to be fixed BUT do you know how to properly fix it? A mechanic does. This is the same thing as going to a psychologist for help; sure, you know what needs to be done to fix the issue but do you have the knowledge and training and experience to do it? That's what they can do for you that you can't do for yourself. They're there to help you. It can take years, years to overcome this addiction. If you want help and want to overcome this, I believe you will find a way to do it. If I want something bad enough I find any way I can to do it.

I don't want to say you're looking for attention because that isn't the way to look at an eating disorder by any means, but from what I've experienced those who are at the stage to really want help and to reach out for help will continue to find ways for help. Those who are not looking to change or who are not yet ready to do so won't reach out for help.

acorsaut89

theromanticrain72 wrote: »

I have been to the emergency room doctor. And his words of wisdom were, "You're a beautiful girl, you don't need to lose weight. You need to be healthy. You know that don't you?"

He's not a licensed psychologist though; sure he is a doctor but he isn't the right type of doctor to help you with your situation.

You are presumably young, your organs are starting to shut down, your hair will fall out, your finger nails will become brittle and shut down, your skin may become see through or sallow. You are doing irreparable damage to your body and if you ever want to have children, you may not be able to have them. Your body is eating your muscles because you don't have any fat stores left. This isn't good for you - you said yourself you know it. Weighing 80lbs as an adult is not healthy unless you are 4'0. If you want to survive this, and not be riddled with health problems forever, I'd say bypass your dad because I would think as a parent you'd want the absolute best for your children, whatever what might be and even if it's not exactly what you want or would have done yourself.