Overwhelmed with getting back to work, daily schedules are difficult

Adpalangi

I started back to work about 4 weeks ago. Very stressful, as my memory short and long term is very bad, I can start a sentance, and before I am half way tru I've forgotten what I was saying. My boss will give me several things to do, I am finally writing it down as she tells me, helps but when she is telling me directions she has her back towards me, I can't hear all her words and I'm afraid to repeat back to her that I can't the task because she just can't understand how I'm not following her.
These problems didn't exist for me five years ago, but since I went down hill, lots of meds and ect treatments 28 about 1 1/2 years ago. I never realized I would have a problem going back. I did realize at least for first that I can no longer do the desk, admin assistant or any of the jobs I had before. I had never been uncomfortable around my supervisors.
I am mostly working 2 days a week, (I need more than that, my alimony is over with.) This week I have a full schedule, I have to ask many questions, and sometimes it takes me several mins to remember what she has said to me. Needless to say, she's not really happy with me, I kinda can't blame her, as I am taking to long to complete tasks, but I really keep trying. Lots of manual labor as a florist, I'm handling that well. Keep trying to keep up, she also says I'm too slow. I generally get the 11 - 7 hrs.
So anyway I'm really feeling some stress, I'm not eating properly. Hard to put a lunch break on my schedule, so I am really screwing up my meals,mostly skipping them til I get off, which is where I stop by the bakery and icecream before I leave, when I get home I just don't feel like cooking, and sometimes I end up telling myself, I've had practically nothing since am breakfast, so sure just fill the rest of my calories for the day with cake and icecream. My calories just go off the chart when this happens, I feel more stress from that....and I keep telling myself I can get past this, just keep working hard...but I usually feel kinda down, and of course I turn to my usual substitute for dinner treats, not very close to the nutrients or calories. The nutrients are usually very low and the calories are off the chart. I know I shouldn't bring that junk home, but I do it anyway, bad idea for me. My questions are: how do I get myself back to a healthy lifestyle? Tips or tricks with staying away from the bad foods. And how do I fix this week before it has a chance to get bad for me.
Just a note my illness is depression, anxiety, and bipolar. I am on disability, and feel very embarrassed about that, and thought oh I can get back to work and hopefully do well enough to not no longer need the disability. I am learning that this is most likely not going to happen, I am really much worse than I had expected. But I need a job, my alimony has stopped. Kinda upset that I am having such a difficult time understanding how u have become like this, and I know I need to be extra careful, actually I should not bring any of this food home. I had been doing real well with that, til a couple weeks ago. My meals are all messed up, and I haven't really cared, until I am here trying to work again. Thanks for letting me vent. What can I do to work thru this by eating properly? And by bringing the right foods home - I just can't afford my self. And I mean physically, and using my brain. Sorry I've rambled, any Advice on any of this would be so appreciated. I need to be back to how well I had been doing.

Alatariel75

Wow, you certainly have a lot going on! Good for you for doing your best to get back out there. Writing stuff down is definitely a good move.

On the food front, I think organisation is key. On your days off, can you cook up some stuff to pop in the fridge or freezer to make a fast microwave meal when you get home? You could make a batch of soup or stew and freeze it in meal sized portions, or cook a bunch of rice and some chicken to keep in the fridge and mix that with some frozen veg and a ready made sauce when you get home.

I think a key thing for you would be to make things as easy as possible on yourself on the days you work, so pre-prepared meals ready to go, an easy lunch on the go you can just grab (maybe pack a sandwich, or some cracker with toppings, or a soup you can drink from a mug while you work?), even granola bars or "snack" foods you could portion out and take with you so you wouldn't have to take a break neccesarily, but would be starving when you finished.

You're dealing with a lot, so I totally get not wanting to add to your day with cooking when you get home!

Also, don't forget that "dinner" doesn't have to be "dinner" food. Having the ingredients to just throw a sandwich or two together would be a better choice than ice cream, or having some store bought frozen meals in the freezer for those nights.

Be kind to yourself! Don't beat yourself up for not being able to get it all perfect and running smoothly right off, instead, look for ways to make it easier on yourself while still acieving your goals. Routine is your friend, and having a plan for work-days will likely reduce some of your stress of those days.

RodaRose

Sometimes I pack a lunch knowing that I will not have time to eat it. I eat it at the end of the work day before going home. That way I am not starving when I get home.

Try to do your cooking on the weekends.
Remember that cheap frozen and canned vegetables are as good as the fresh.
Cheap foods include soups or beans or chili in the crock pot over some rice.