I can't trust myself...
meridianova
Posts: 438 Member
if there's one thing i've learned over the last 5 months of being on MFP, it's that i cannot trust myself.
this isn't about willpower or dedication. this isn't a case of "not wanting it badly enough." this isn't even a matter of making excuses. there aren't any to make.
everything i eat is weighed, measured, portioned, and logged. yes, everything. i exercise, on average, 4 days a week, usually going for 5... circuit weight training with half an hour of cardio. if all you looked at were the raw numbers of intake versus BMR and activity level, i should be melting away.
but i'm not. and emotionally it's killing me. every week or so, i download my logged data into that awesome little spreadsheet tracker thingy by evisgenix (or whatever his name is). according to that, based on my oTDEE, my activity level comes in at 1.1... in other words, as far as my body is concerned, going to the gym 4-5 days a week equates to not even getting out of bed in the morning.
i can't trust myself. i can't trust the calculations that tell me what my BMR is supposed to be, what my intake caloric levels should be to lose each week, or the multiplyers that indicate what my daily burn rate would be. i can't trust that any of those numbers are even close to where i need to be in order to get to that sainted, deified caloric deficit i'm supposed to be creating to lose weight.
so because i can't trust my own body to do what it's supposed to do, to do what every other body on this planet supposedly does under the same circumstances, i'm losing the battle... not just with my body, but with my mind as well. i've been going through these posts for the last day or so, hoping to find someone else that might be in the same boat... just about every post on here says something along the lines of "oh i lost XXlbs in the first few weeks but now i'm stuck!" or "i lost 50+ pounds but that last 10 is really hard!" people, i would literally KILL something to be in your shoes right now. you want motivation that you're doing just fine? think of this... you could be me right now. you could be stuck, doing all the right things, taking all the right advice, and be stuck with a body that you can't trust because you have no idea what it needs or doesn't need. you could be having to balance trying to eat right and exercise without allowing former eating disorder issues from taking over and saying "fat f'ks like you aren't worthy of food."
i don't know how much more of this i can take. if i can't trust my self, who am i supposed to trust?
this isn't about willpower or dedication. this isn't a case of "not wanting it badly enough." this isn't even a matter of making excuses. there aren't any to make.
everything i eat is weighed, measured, portioned, and logged. yes, everything. i exercise, on average, 4 days a week, usually going for 5... circuit weight training with half an hour of cardio. if all you looked at were the raw numbers of intake versus BMR and activity level, i should be melting away.
but i'm not. and emotionally it's killing me. every week or so, i download my logged data into that awesome little spreadsheet tracker thingy by evisgenix (or whatever his name is). according to that, based on my oTDEE, my activity level comes in at 1.1... in other words, as far as my body is concerned, going to the gym 4-5 days a week equates to not even getting out of bed in the morning.
i can't trust myself. i can't trust the calculations that tell me what my BMR is supposed to be, what my intake caloric levels should be to lose each week, or the multiplyers that indicate what my daily burn rate would be. i can't trust that any of those numbers are even close to where i need to be in order to get to that sainted, deified caloric deficit i'm supposed to be creating to lose weight.
so because i can't trust my own body to do what it's supposed to do, to do what every other body on this planet supposedly does under the same circumstances, i'm losing the battle... not just with my body, but with my mind as well. i've been going through these posts for the last day or so, hoping to find someone else that might be in the same boat... just about every post on here says something along the lines of "oh i lost XXlbs in the first few weeks but now i'm stuck!" or "i lost 50+ pounds but that last 10 is really hard!" people, i would literally KILL something to be in your shoes right now. you want motivation that you're doing just fine? think of this... you could be me right now. you could be stuck, doing all the right things, taking all the right advice, and be stuck with a body that you can't trust because you have no idea what it needs or doesn't need. you could be having to balance trying to eat right and exercise without allowing former eating disorder issues from taking over and saying "fat f'ks like you aren't worthy of food."
i don't know how much more of this i can take. if i can't trust my self, who am i supposed to trust?
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Replies
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Those are all guide lines.
If you feel like the TDEE numbers aren't right- then you need to change somthing.
I just switched from MFP/neet+eat back and are now doing TDEE set at moderate (3x a week) workouts.
Guess what- the numbers I eat- average out daily over the course of a week to be about the same thing.
So- play with it- it's a guide line to get you started in the right direction- if after 3-4 weeks you aren't seeing results change ONE thing- then wait another 3-4 weeks.
It's hard- the hardest thing about this is that it takes time- and there is no exact number it's different for everyone.
But if you aren't seeing results- change a single thing- and then carry on- it is VERY trial and error- and most people struggle with that. You can do it- trust the process- I know it's hard- but you can do it.0 -
Are you on any sort of medication? I was on the anti-psychotic Seroquel for a number of years and all it did was pack on the pounds. No matter that I was working out 2 hours a day and eating sensibly, NONE of it came off. There are a lot of medications that do this sort of thing, so if you are taking medication maybe it's time to talk to your doctor.0
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Those are all guide lines.
if i followed those guidelines, i'd be going in the opposite direction from where i need to be.If you feel like the TDEE numbers aren't right- then you need to change somthing.
I just switched from MFP/neet+eat back and are now doing TDEE set at moderate (3x a week) workouts.
Guess what- the numbers I eat- average out daily over the course of a week to be about the same thing.
then i'm confused... exactly what are you changing if your totals come out the same? are you changing your macros or your workouts? both? neither? changing how data is entered doesn't change the data itself.So- play with it- it's a guide line to get you started in the right direction- if after 3-4 weeks you aren't seeing results change ONE thing- then wait another 3-4 weeks.
It's hard- the hardest thing about this is that it takes time- and there is no exact number it's different for everyone.
But if you aren't seeing results- change a single thing- and then carry on- it is VERY trial and error- and most people struggle with that. You can do it- trust the process- I know it's hard- but you can do it.
i've already done that... i've changed my macros, i've changed my workout structure, i've gradually increased the intensity of my workouts in both weight, reps, and time. i'm running out of things to change.
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darlingnoire wrote: »Are you on any sort of medication? I was on the anti-psychotic Seroquel for a number of years and all it did was pack on the pounds. No matter that I was working out 2 hours a day and eating sensibly, NONE of it came off. There are a lot of medications that do this sort of thing, so if you are taking medication maybe it's time to talk to your doctor.
i'm not. i'm only taking supplements... 4k IU of vitamin D (i was horribly deficient at my last bloodwork), 630mg of green tea 2x daily, 1,200mg of flaxseed oil 3x daily.0 -
If you're doing everything- everything- that you're supposed to, being accurate with your measurements, not skipping anything or letting anything slide, and nothing's working, I'd talk to a professional nutritionist and a doctor. This could be a symptom of something a little bigger than diet and exercise, and even if it isn't, they can help you in a way that a layperson on the internet can't.0
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If you're doing everything- everything- that you're supposed to, being accurate with your measurements, not skipping anything or letting anything slide, and nothing's working, I'd talk to a professional nutritionist and a doctor. This could be a symptom of something a little bigger than diet and exercise, and even if it isn't, they can help you in a way that a layperson on the internet can't.
i see my endocrinologist again next month, along with bloodwork to see if anything's improved or changed since july. i'm really hoping she has answers, or at least a direction i can go.0 -
Stress has a lot to do with weight loss too. Maybe take a week off and just don't think about logging or exercising?
Don't give up! Check with a doctor maybe its thyroid problem, or get a heart rate monitor to properly track your calorie burned. It sounds like you're stressing a lot on this. Here's a great article you can read and see if it relates to you: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15589/5-sneaky-reasons-youre-not-losing-the-weight-you-want.html0 -
Don't give up! Check with a doctor maybe its thyroid problem, or get a heart rate monitor to properly track your calorie burned. It sounds like you're stressing a lot on this. Here's a great article you can read and see if it relates to you: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-15589/5-sneaky-reasons-youre-not-losing-the-weight-you-want.html
thank you for that. of those 5 options, only two seem like they could be potential culprits... the sleep and the stress. i low carb, so even though i'm not gluten sensitive, wheat products aren't part of my diet anyway; i used to do cardio 5 days a week after my weight circuit but i've backed that off to 2 days a week, after my shorter ab-focused weight circuit (i was actually on the fence about adding it back in after this week); and i don't snack.
i'm going to try to start going to bed earlier... the stress is self-replicating, especially with the fact that 90% of it is about lack of weight loss.Stress has a lot to do with weight loss too. Maybe take a week off and just don't think about logging or exercising?
is there a happy medium between "taking a week off" and "giving up?" my mind wants to take all of this (exercise, diet, etc) in absolutes... somehow i can't get past the idea that taking that much time off would mean i'd lose all the endurance progress i've made so far.0 -
How many calories are you eating a day?0
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I was on a several months long plateau not so long ago. Like you, running 3 times a week, walking with the stroller often, logging my calories and respecting my goal. But I was actually gaining weight very slowly!
Until I switched my macros! Food is not only about calories!
Check this article: http://tdnation.com/nutrition-101/0 -
MsHarryWinston wrote: »How many calories are you eating a day?
i have my limit set at 1580, but over the last 90 days i've averaged 1372, and averaged 1365 over the last 30 days. i'm fairly sure that's net calories, since i log the cardio calories burned based on what the treadmill tells me (it asks for weight, speed, incline, and duration and has a HRM built in), and log about 100 for my entire 30-minute weight lifting circuit.
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The averages DO come out the same- and that's my point- if you're are making accurate entries the numbers should be the same- so I was suggesting using it as a litmus test- a sound board to just recheck.meridianova wrote: »[
then i'm confused... exactly what are you changing if your totals come out the same? are you changing your macros or your workouts? both? neither? changing how data is entered doesn't change the data itself.
For me why I switched systems- my numbers are fine- I just switched how I ate daily-The upside to TDEE is it helps reduce the overestimation of workouts and I was trying to make sure I was eliminating any personal error on my part.
there is no magical bullet. You either are over estimating workouts- or underestimating food consumption- if you aren't going the right direction - you're doing something wrong or you have a medical issue that no one here can help you fix.
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meridianova wrote: »darlingnoire wrote: »Are you on any sort of medication? I was on the anti-psychotic Seroquel for a number of years and all it did was pack on the pounds. No matter that I was working out 2 hours a day and eating sensibly, NONE of it came off. There are a lot of medications that do this sort of thing, so if you are taking medication maybe it's time to talk to your doctor.
i'm not. i'm only taking supplements... 4k IU of vitamin D (i was horribly deficient at my last bloodwork), 630mg of green tea 2x daily, 1,200mg of flaxseed oil 3x daily.
I havent read everyone's response but maybe it has something to do with the flaxseed. It's over 100 calories for a tbsp and 14g of fat. Having that 3x per day is 300 cals and over 40g of fat. Seems like a lot for someone trying to lose. Just my opinion.
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The averages DO come out the same- and that's my point- if you're are making accurate entries the numbers should be the same- so I was suggesting using it as a litmus test- a sound board to just recheck.
For me why I switched systems- my numbers are fine- I just switched how I ate daily-The upside to TDEE is it helps reduce the overestimation of workouts and I was trying to make sure I was eliminating any personal error on my part.
i'm still not understanding what you mean... you switched how you ate daily, meaning you changed your macros? you moved your percentages around and kept the caloric limit the same? or are you talking about eating back your exercise calories?
i've got my macros set based on a low carb diet because it keeps my appetite down and satisfies my mind. i changed those a few weeks ago to lower my protein and increase my fat to be more in line with a more specific ketogenic process rather than a general low-carb one. i'm considering shifting my protein back up.
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QueenKristine7 wrote: »meridianova wrote: »darlingnoire wrote: »Are you on any sort of medication? I was on the anti-psychotic Seroquel for a number of years and all it did was pack on the pounds. No matter that I was working out 2 hours a day and eating sensibly, NONE of it came off. There are a lot of medications that do this sort of thing, so if you are taking medication maybe it's time to talk to your doctor.
i'm not. i'm only taking supplements... 4k IU of vitamin D (i was horribly deficient at my last bloodwork), 630mg of green tea 2x daily, 1,200mg of flaxseed oil 3x daily.
I havent read everyone's response but maybe it has something to do with the flaxseed. It's over 100 calories for a tbsp and 14g of fat. Having that 3x per day is 300 cals and over 40g of fat. Seems like a lot for someone trying to lose. Just my opinion.
the supplements i take are 1,200mg (or 1.2g) per capsule. that comes to 8.84 calories per capsule, or just shy of 32 calories per day. so no, i'm not taking a full tablespoon of flaxseed oil three times a day... and if i was i'd be logging it anyway.
if 32 calories a day are the difference between losing .68 pounds per week (on average) and 1.3 pounds per week, something is far more wrong with my body than i previously feared.0 -
meridianova wrote: »The averages DO come out the same- and that's my point- if you're are making accurate entries the numbers should be the same- so I was suggesting using it as a litmus test- a sound board to just recheck.
For me why I switched systems- my numbers are fine- I just switched how I ate daily-The upside to TDEE is it helps reduce the overestimation of workouts and I was trying to make sure I was eliminating any personal error on my part.
i'm still not understanding what you mean... you switched how you ate daily, meaning you changed your macros? you moved your percentages around and kept the caloric limit the same? or are you talking about eating back your exercise calories?
i've got my macros set based on a low carb diet because it keeps my appetite down and satisfies my mind. i changed those a few weeks ago to lower my protein and increase my fat to be more in line with a more specific ketogenic process rather than a general low-carb one. i'm considering shifting my protein back up.
No, it has nothing to do with macros, only calories. She switched from the MFP method where you add in your exercise daily and then eat back the calories you "earned" to the TDEE method which already has the exercise calories in your daily goal. So with TDEE you don't add your exercise calories in, you just eat the same number of calories everyday regardless of how much you workout that day.
She's saying that the number of calories she eats every week is the same with the MFP method and the TDEE method. And it should be. TDEE just evens it out across the week instead of eating more on exercise days and less on rest days. I should know because I just switched methods too.
If you're using MFP correctly, switching to TDEE - whatever% would not change your total weekly calories. Maybe try doing TDEE - 20% until your appointment. That way you know if you were overestimating your workout calories. It just fixes one of the variables in the equation. You just need to make sure you sustain the workout schedule that you use to calculate your TDEE - 20%.0 -
meridianova wrote: »MsHarryWinston wrote: »How many calories are you eating a day?
i have my limit set at 1580, but over the last 90 days i've averaged 1372, and averaged 1365 over the last 30 days. i'm fairly sure that's net calories, since i log the cardio calories burned based on what the treadmill tells me (it asks for weight, speed, incline, and duration and has a HRM built in), and log about 100 for my entire 30-minute weight lifting circuit.
Be careful with what MFP and gym machines give you for calories in/out. They are almost never accurate, and if you're eating them back, that can be a big reason to see no results.0 -
SingRunTing wrote: »meridianova wrote: »The averages DO come out the same- and that's my point- if you're are making accurate entries the numbers should be the same- so I was suggesting using it as a litmus test- a sound board to just recheck.
For me why I switched systems- my numbers are fine- I just switched how I ate daily-The upside to TDEE is it helps reduce the overestimation of workouts and I was trying to make sure I was eliminating any personal error on my part.
i'm still not understanding what you mean... you switched how you ate daily, meaning you changed your macros? you moved your percentages around and kept the caloric limit the same? or are you talking about eating back your exercise calories?
i've got my macros set based on a low carb diet because it keeps my appetite down and satisfies my mind. i changed those a few weeks ago to lower my protein and increase my fat to be more in line with a more specific ketogenic process rather than a general low-carb one. i'm considering shifting my protein back up.
No, it has nothing to do with macros, only calories. She switched from the MFP method where you add in your exercise daily and then eat back the calories you "earned" to the TDEE method which already has the exercise calories in your daily goal. So with TDEE you don't add your exercise calories in, you just eat the same number of calories everyday regardless of how much you workout that day.
She's saying that the number of calories she eats every week is the same with the MFP method and the TDEE method. And it should be. TDEE just evens it out across the week instead of eating more on exercise days and less on rest days. I should know because I just switched methods too.
If you're using MFP correctly, switching to TDEE - whatever% would not change your total weekly calories. Maybe try doing TDEE - 20% until your appointment. That way you know if you were overestimating your workout calories. It just fixes one of the variables in the equation. You just need to make sure you sustain the workout schedule that you use to calculate your TDEE - 20%.
ok... i think i get it. when i first started reading the forums, i'd never heard of eating back exercise calories, so the deficit MFP created based on my desired weight loss per week was what i stuck to, regardless of exercise.
based on the graphs that EvgeniZyntx created, my average TDEE for someone who is working out 3-5 times a week should be 2637 (averaged across the four methods of calculation). my oTDEE calculated by actual weight lost is only coming out to 1727, and my average daily intake of 1372 is already 20% below the oTDEE.
what's frustrating me is the massive discrepancy (of almost 1,000 calories a day) between what my calculated TDEE should be for someone of my height, weight, age, and activity level, and the oTDEE. i don't have medical clearance to drop my calories farther down than what i'm already doing.0 -
meridianova wrote: »MsHarryWinston wrote: »How many calories are you eating a day?
i have my limit set at 1580, but over the last 90 days i've averaged 1372, and averaged 1365 over the last 30 days. i'm fairly sure that's net calories, since i log the cardio calories burned based on what the treadmill tells me (it asks for weight, speed, incline, and duration and has a HRM built in), and log about 100 for my entire 30-minute weight lifting circuit.
Be careful with what MFP and gym machines give you for calories in/out. They are almost never accurate, and if you're eating them back, that can be a big reason to see no results.
yes, i know. i generally don't eat those back because it seems counterintuitive.
and i know the machines can be off. i take that into account, which is another reason i don't trust the "eating back calories" method. the averages may be the net, but i always have based my intake on the hard limit of 1580.
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I'm sorry this must be super frustrating.
I used to run a lot on hiking trails, consistently for 5 hours+ a week. You would think I'd be skin and bones, but surprisingly I wasn't. I logged and did not eat back calories, I weighted my food and had 900+ calories deficit but weight still stayed the same.
Now I'm doing crossfit and I definitely gained a lot of muscle. I no longer do cardio like I used to. My weight was the same as when I was running, but I look more muscular.
A month ago I hurt my back and took a 5 week break. I did not exercise once and was eating everything I wanted (pizza, tons of carbs & fats, sweets). I lost a lot of muscle that totaled up to 5 lb.
What I'm trying to say is, calories in vs calories out isn't always the only equation to weight loss. It's a lot about workout intensity, how much muscle you have, sleep, stress, etc. Simply by giving how many times you workout and weight/height/age don't normally calculate your true TDEE. Use MFP as a simple guideline to get a feel of your calorie intake and don't stress too much over the numbers, it will only stress you out more.
Taking a break doesn't mean you're giving up. I also felt weird not burning extra calories. Sometimes you just have to give your body a break. Maybe try 1 cheat day a week? Eat very clean every day except for Sunday. Doesn't keto give you a day off every week?0 -
Taking a break doesn't mean you're giving up. I also felt weird not burning extra calories. Sometimes you just have to give your body a break. Maybe try 1 cheat day a week? Eat very clean every day except for Sunday. Doesn't keto give you a day off every week?
not necessarily... like any other diet plan, it's ultimately up to you how strictly you choose to follow it. with a ketogenic plan, there are more immediate effects of cheating because you're interrupting chemical processes rather than just getting extra calories.
i've been dealing with some rough crap lately, and last night i let myself have some comfort food (which is not normal... i enjoy food, i appreciate food, but it's not something i have ever turned to for comfort) of a ghirardelli pumpkin spice chocolate square and half a double western bacon burger from carl's jr. i stayed well within my calories, but the excess carbs had me passed out asleep within half an hour. that's normal for how my body handles them. so as a rule, i don't cheat like that because i know i'll feel it immediately.0 -
I hope you figure it out soon. That is so frustrating. I didn't eat back my exercise calories as a rule, until this week. I started eating back a little less than half and lost more this week than I had been. The goal without exercise is the rate it takes the body to run itself and continue to lose WITHOUT exercise. Once you exercise, and you don't eat any back, you may be depriving your reg body functions of fuel they need to fuel the additional exertion. Which kind of puts the body into freak out mode sometimes. Why not try eating back only a portion of your adjusted goal. I too am low carb, and I do keto.
My cal goal for a sedentary person my weight is 1380. When I eat there, I lose more slowly. I've been eating up to 1500, and I've lost faster since I have done that. Give it a try for a couple weeks. If it doesn't work, then you can try something else.
This is just my 2 cents and something to consider.
Carbs drug me like that, too. Snooze-ville.
Good luck and let us know if you figure out something that works for you.
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I didn't read all the posts, but have you tried the Wheat Belly diet? It's the theory that wheat and gluten are the main causes of weight gain. I know it made a difference in my weight loss tremendously. I would get checked by a doctor to see if you have a gluten intolerance or if it is some other medical issue. Please be easy on yourself. Stress can make you retain weight as well. Drink alot of water. Maybe try a yoga class or meditation. Good luck.
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if 32 calories a day are the difference between losing .68 pounds per week (on average) and 1.3 pounds per week, something is far more wrong with my body than i previously feared.[/quote]
Are you currently losing 1/2 to a pound a week? If so, that is a perfectly acceptable rate of loss.
Is this about not knowing what to trust, or is it about the motivational culprit most of us fight - impatience?
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Are you currently losing 1/2 to a pound a week? If so, that is a perfectly acceptable rate of loss.
if you average it all out... yes, it's about half a pound a week. that's the good news. the bad news is that according to all the calculations, my deficit is MUCH higher than the 250 per day i'd need for a simple 1/2 pound per week... my deficit should have me losing closer to 1.3lbs per week.Is this about not knowing what to trust, or is it about the motivational culprit most of us fight - impatience?
i don't think it's impatience... at least it's not anymore.
think of it this way... say you have a car that is supposed to get 30 miles to the gallon, but when you actually track the miles using the odometer and divide that by how many gallons of gas you're getting every time you fill up, it turns out that you're only getting 18 miles per gallon, WAY below even an acceptable margin of error.
you'd figure one of two things is happening... someone screwed up when they printed and distributed the specs on the car (not likely), or something is wrong with your engine and it's not working the way it's supposed to.
since i can't exactly pop open my own hood and see what's out of whack, i can't trust that my body is going to perform as per the generalized expectations. if i was 10% below the calculated rate of loss, i'd probably be ok with that. unfortunately i'm hovering somewhere around 40% - 50% below where i should be, and i'm NOT ok with that.0 -
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Are you taking measurements? Are you losing inches? Are your clothes fitting better?0
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tiffanydawnn wrote: »Are you taking measurements? Are you losing inches? Are your clothes fitting better?
yes... however it's not anything out of sync with the pounds lost. i've lost about an inch around my waist, that's about it.0 -
I don't understand this "I don't trust my body" statement.
First of all, why do you rely more on what "programs" tell you than what you own body and weight loss have been telling you?
What are these programs anyway? Who made them? Who told you they are supposed to work universally for every one?
Why don't you focus on FACTS instead of projections, stats, and whatnot.
Here's one FACT: You are losing weight, at a rate of 0.5 lbs per week.
You're getting there, but it is slow.
What I see is that you are disappointed because you thought it would go faster, and I totally understand.
What's you current weight, and how much do you want to lose ?0 -
If you're doing everything- everything- that you're supposed to, being accurate with your measurements, not skipping anything or letting anything slide, and nothing's working, I'd talk to a professional nutritionist and a doctor. This could be a symptom of something a little bigger than diet and exercise, and even if it isn't, they can help you in a way that a layperson on the internet can't.
This! See your doc. You may have something going on like a thyroid condition or any number of other things. Just don't give up.
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