Food guilt

crmh1971
crmh1971 Posts: 2
in Health and Weight Loss
I am starting to feel guilty when I eat anything. I have a huge urge to lose the weight that I have put on over the past 20 years. I guess it doesn't help when people in my family say things like "You eating again" or "I thought you were dieting" and It also doesn't help that its mainly my mother who says it. She eats only once ever two to three days. She has always done that. My father is obese and he is also starting to call me fat. So, now im feeling guilty when I eat anything. If an obese person calls you fat, who's left?

Replies

  • findingmyw1ngs
    findingmyw1ngs Posts: 107 Member
    Tell your parents to stop. Your mom's eating habits, despite you saying that she's always done that, are not healthy. You sound like me around 3 years ago. Starting to feel really bad when you eat. I hope you can learn to move past the guilt and keep going on your healthy weightless journey. I know I couldn't and ended up malnourished because I wasn't eating the required vitamins and all (which would've been hard to do on 600-900 calories a day anyway). But if you want to message me feel free and we can talk more
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    A lot of odd behaviors going on in this OP.
  • dedflwrs
    dedflwrs Posts: 251 Member
    Why do your parents even know what you eat or not? And at your age, why do you care what they have to say? Just do your thing. No one needs to know what your eating plan is except you.
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Maybe it's time to spend a bit less time around your parents for a while (I know how hard that is, trust me!!)

    Also, think of some appropriate responses. For example:

    mom: "You're eating again??"
    you: "Yep! Isn't it wonderful that I can eat 4 or 5 times a day and still work toward a healthy weight?" *big smile* ... [also make sure you're using the tools here appropriately and maintaining a deficit so what you're saying is true.]

    dad: "You're looking a bit chubby there."
    you: *pointedly look him up and down* "Thank you for your opinion" *change subject*

    You should not feel guilty about eating! Food is fuel ... it is necessary for life. Set up moderate goals and eat the right amount of calories, try to get most of it from nutrient-dense foods, and enjoy things that taste good!
  • PatriziaGen
    PatriziaGen Posts: 23 Member
    This journey is about 'YOU'. I know this sounds crazy, but my ears only hear & register positive comments. The negative ones, although I hear them, I 'delete' from my everyday emotion. You don't have to feel guilty about eating - if you are making good choices and within a healthy caloric intake and perhaps throwing in some exercise, you do not have to feel guilty. Let your family know that in order for you to lose weight, you need to eat a variety of things in a day in order to be healthy & that 'item' is part of it. :)
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    Okay you need to be AWAY from your parents until you can acclimate to your new lifestyle.
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    A lot of odd behaviors going on in this OP.
    +1 sounds like a VERY unhealthy relationship!
  • libbydoodle11
    libbydoodle11 Posts: 1,351 Member
    Seeking counseling in regard to these issues may be a good thing for you. It shouldn't matter what your parents or anyone says. It is time to start taking care of yourself. You are in charge of your 42 year old self.
  • 2013sk
    2013sk Posts: 1,318 Member
    Couldn't you sit down with them both and speak to them about how you feel? Be honest and say it upsets you. They probably don't realise how much it hurts you, Unless they are told, how will they know?

    I've had all the comments trust me - You still eating rabbit food? What you doing eating a chocolate, are you not dieting? That's all go for a curry tonight - Oh she wont come, she is on a diet etc..... Its boring and you do need to try to rise about it.

    Easier said than done I know!!! You need to learn to give it back, when comments come your way, say something big quick.

    But to solve the problem moving forward.... A good family chit chat. Maybe if your dads obese why not cook a nice healthy family meal, sit at the table & bring it up????

    Chin up hun :smile:
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    dedflwrs wrote: »
    Why do your parents even know what you eat or not? And at your age, why do you care what they have to say? Just do your thing. No one needs to know what your eating plan is except you.

    I agree with this. You're a grown woman. Take care of yourself and don't worry about what they have to say.

    And if their opinions affect you to this degree, I would suggest that you find a professional that you can discuss this issue with.

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