Does rejection and verbal abuse motivate you?

2»

Replies

  • shai74
    shai74 Posts: 512 Member
    Be careful what you mean by "motivate". To make a change in your life based on the mean opinion of someone else is not going to work long term. To think "If I was thinner, they'd be nicer to me, that girl would like me, etc" is a dangerous road. The only reason you should EVER want to do it is for you, and possibly your family, but not because they shamed you.

    Imagine if you liked a girl, and she didn't look twice at you, and you thought it was because you were fat. So you lose the weight, she still doesn't look twice at you, turns out she just doesn't like you. You get depressed because you lost weight for a false reason, give up, put it all back on again. See how it can be destructive?
  • LoryBear
    LoryBear Posts: 89 Member
    Well, it's strange. I started dating someone back in may and because he was so physically fit, it made me want to get in better shape and I ate healthier and did moderate home exercise. And then we broke up last month, and guess what? I joined a gym almost immediately and now I'm spending a good 2-3 hours at the gym every time, and I've gained a considerable amount of muscle since I joined.

    So in a way, rejection motivated me. Sort of like a, "Well, you'll see what you're missin'. " sort of thing. Not that that's the only reason I'm working out, of course, but it certainly made me get my *kitten* in gear.
  • myheartsabattleground
    myheartsabattleground Posts: 2,040 Member
    It motivates my fist in their mouth...
  • NikkiBubbleGum
    NikkiBubbleGum Posts: 45
    Yeah, it motivates me a lot. My brother called me fat the other day, and I'm still feeling it. Of course, I'm not angry with him. It may hurt, but it motivates me, and reminds me why I do this. He's simply stating a fact.
  • cincysweetheart
    cincysweetheart Posts: 892 Member
    Nope. Not at all. Not even an ounce. On the other hand… I will move mountains for someone who shows me unconditional love and acceptance and loyalty.
  • Falcon
    Falcon Posts: 853 Member
    I just shut down and eat anything and everything in sight. Abusive people are just looking to make themselves feel good by kicking others down.
  • Lois_1989
    Lois_1989 Posts: 6,410 Member
    edited October 2014
    pirate_john_75 wrote: »
    Well, if it helps... Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
    love the Pythons!

    It depends on who it is I guess. If it is someone I love and care about, it won't do me any favors. If it's someone I don't know or don't care about I'll give them the one finger salute and use it as motivation.
  • HBMairi
    HBMairi Posts: 84 Member
    I can see where you are coming from in a way... only from the point of view that if someone pisses me off, I take it out on the gym, and usually get a better workout done, but that's all.

    Bad road to go down if abuse towards you motivates you.
  • lillyrose2020
    lillyrose2020 Posts: 178 Member
    Nope, it makes me cry and eat.
    Buying new shoes motivates me, shoes and bags. Just shopping in general.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    It has done in the past. In fact the reason I got in shape all those years ago was to try and win the heart of some random chick who wasn't interested in me. I can't even remember her name now...

    Also, it has helped "motivate" me as it has fuelled my anger which I then channelled into my training pushing me further.

    These days it doesn't motivate me at all. If someone is rude to me now I usually just roll my eyes and "pffffft."
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
    OP, you'd be fun in a BDSM club.
  • SaBh93
    SaBh93 Posts: 114 Member
    Doesn't help me. I find motivation in myself to be honest and rarely care what others think. Right now, I'm motivated to get back to what I was and to be able to run without excruciating ankle pain.
  • MegE_N
    MegE_N Posts: 245 Member
    Absolutely not. As someone fat my entire life, I had to do years of work just to convince myself that I was worthy of sharing this planet with other people. Every time a stranger, family member, or friend would point out what a fat failure I was, it wasn't about the fat - it was about ME.

    You never hear these insults being thrown out about the fat. It's not 'Your fat is lazy' it's 'You're lazy.' You hear it enough from everyone around you, the fat becomes a symptom of your own failings. It didn't motivate me to lose weight, rather it reminded me that fat or not, I was a failure.

    Seriously. YEARS to get out of that mindset. And I'm not free of it - fat, thin, I'll never fully be free of it.

    Thank God for the fat acceptance movement.
  • danirosevoelkel
    danirosevoelkel Posts: 511 Member
    I don't enjoy being insulted, nor find it motivating. However, I understand where you are coming from. If someone crushed me, and it's happened to us all, I would throw my all into an activity to stay busy. Thankfully you chose fitness ;)
  • cedwardscadd
    cedwardscadd Posts: 26
    i had that mindset for a while.
    i would trash talk myself during a workout or leading up to one and go in there and kill it

    now i talk positive to myself and i feel like it helps me fight through fatigue and get that extra push

    but, whatever works for you.... DO IT
  • CarolinaAcorn
    CarolinaAcorn Posts: 418 Member
    Yup....It motivates me to reevaluate why I allowed them in my life.....Then it motivates me to remove them.

  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
    Mistreatment motivates me not to interact with that person.
  • 3Alice3
    3Alice3 Posts: 36 Member
    I wouldn't say I appreciate being made fun of, but it was an offhand comment about my weight that sparked the start of my weight loss journey so I do understand!
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    Why would you be motivated by that?
  • PaminTewksbury
    PaminTewksbury Posts: 19 Member
    I can see how you'd be motivated to kind of prove yourself to be better than what was said about you. For myself...I usually react better to positive reinforcement and good vibes. When someone puts me down I want to reach for the cake and that's usually not a good thing.
  • smittybuilt19
    smittybuilt19 Posts: 955 Member
    During the peak of my weight loss I was highly motivated by my SO who would frequently complain about my loss, saying I was sick looking, or acting like a woman because men shouldn't diet, or calling me gay for being concerned about my obesity. Now she has come to terms with it and I don't quite feel as motivated.
  • caitconquersweight
    caitconquersweight Posts: 316 Member
    God no. The insults and rejection only ever fueled my food addiction.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    No.
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    Rejection and verbal abuse by those who I really care about would DEMOTIVATE ME to the point that I would completely shut down.

    Rejection and verbal abuse from anyone else only motivates me to put them in their place.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    smittybuilt19 wrote: »
    During the peak of my weight loss I was highly motivated by my SO who would frequently complain about my loss, saying I was sick looking, or acting like a woman because men shouldn't diet, or calling me gay for being concerned about my obesity. Now she has come to terms with it and I don't quite feel as motivated.

    Wow. And that was okay with you?

    I had an SO like that. I lost 160 pounds just by losing him. That sort of behavior is absolutely uncalled for.

  • IncaTrails
    IncaTrails Posts: 2 Member
    https://youtube.com/watch?v=GLi1iXP_SS4
  • kefryar
    kefryar Posts: 77 Member
    It's motivated me to spiral into horrible anorexia for years, so I guess so.
  • garnerish
    garnerish Posts: 67 Member
    I used to not, it does now.

    Before I'd internalise it, and just get angry at other people and continue to loathe myself.

    Now it's like "Well, there might be a reason they say it" and examine my own flaws and see how I can improve.

Categories