Self-absorbed rant (apologies in advance)

liquoricecat

Hi everyone,

I haven't been active in the forum yet but have been 'lurking' for a while. Apologies for starting off on a rant but, at least here I know I'm in good company and I won't be boring my friends and family with my weight loss woes.

First off, I know I don't really have reason to complain. I'm already a healthy weight (5ft 8, 135 lbs) but as somebody who carries most of their weight around the middle, I always find I have to be on the lower end of my BMI to not look chunky. People who are much heavier than me often look slimmer and are able to fit into smaller clothes sizes. I have fluctuated in my post-adolescent lifetime between about 147 lbs and 121 lbs. The former was MUCH too big for me, the latter too small and impossible to sustain (N.B. I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but my behaviour in the past has probably fitted in with that definition). I am, at present, a UK size 12 (a size 8 in American sizing) but would love to get back down to a size 10 (US size 6).

My new goal is about 128-130 lbs but I just have this feeling that I'm going to become obsessed again and it's going to rule my life. I've already had a mini freakout that I haven't lost anything - even though I've only been dieting and exercising seriously again for a week.

I just want to have a healthy and balanced approach to weight loss but once I start on it, I find I get so frantic and stupid about it. Guess it would be nice just to hear from people who also struggle with these sorts of feelings.

Lu x

Falcon

I would aim for half a pound a week since you're already at an ideal weight. Besides cardio go for weight training. It will help you burn fat quicker.

RodaRose

Lifting weights will improve your body shape.

msf74

lusanataylor wrote: »

I just want to have a healthy and balanced approach to weight loss but once I start on it, I find I get so frantic and stupid about it. Guess it would be nice just to hear from people who also struggle with these sorts of feelings.

Lu x

I don't think you are alone there. In fact I think most dieters feel that way which makes them vulnerable to being exploited by fad diets / over priced supplements etc.

Part of the problem is the attitudes of society to being overweight. It is generally and unfairly associated with failure of character. Many people therefore block out the issues of their weight for long periods. However, when we consider dieting we are forced to consciously confront our weight and given the association with failure this causes psychological distress. Until the weight is off you are constantly presented with the thoughts that you are inferior and so on making it easy to feel low and so on - hence the idea of needing to see you have worth / love yourself irrespective of your weight as it is a small part of what makes you you.

All the best with your efforts.

KarenJanine

As you are already a healthy weight it would be advisable to focus on strength training and fat loss, not scale weight. Eating at maintenance or just below, and following a full body lifting program could see you losing inches but not necessarily weight.

liquoricecat

Thanks for advice re: the strength training. Looking into exercises now. My exercise at the moment involves at least 30 minutes or more of (fast to mid-paced) walking a day and then 20-30 minutes aerobics.

I think I do need to get away from the scale weight thing but it's so easy to see that as a mark of my achievement so when it doesn't move, it just feels like I've failed.

Schtroumpfkin

You've got to get away from them scales - they'll only pull you down. Think about it - you don't have much weight to lose or quite probably, you don't have ANY weight to lose. You may just need to work on your body composition a touch to get your desired results. So, by using the scales as your weapon of choice, you're setting yourself up for failure....from the start. That's not a fair fight.

I am similar to you, in that I am (near enough) a healthy weight, but not particularly happy with my body shape. However, when you see simple exercises which really help to change that, quickly (even though the scale stands still), your mind starts finding motivation in the exercises rather than obsessing about food. I'm not saying to forget about food completely, but the reason MFP is so good is that it isn't just a diary for tracking intake, it is also there to track output.

I agree with all the comments re: weight/strength training. Don't forget that this sort of thing can be done with your own body weight at home - you don't necessarily have to get straight into lifting weights at the gym (although I know people have fantastic success with that too). It's a bit old hat now, but I'd recommend Jillian Michaels "Ripped in 30". I saw (and felt) results in less than 2 weeks (the program is for 4). Otherwise, I am a huge advocate of fit bar or ballet bar. Don't be fooled by the "pretty pink fairies in tutus" connotation - those exercises are TOUGH and make me sweat like crazy. I have done nothing better to get definition in my legs and bum (AND....shh....my terrible cellulite has practically disappeared....amazing how much less I care about the SIZE of my thighs now my legs are so much smoother). Find local bar classes or look up on YouTube.

And that brings me onto my final point - when you see your progress at doing these sort of exercises, you start to appreciate everything your mind and body CAN do and how amazing it can be (rather than all the things it can't - like fitting into a size 0 minidress or having "thigh gap" or whatever that terrible expression is).

That's far more motivating than a number on a scale in my opinion.

Lots of luck!!!

999tigger

What they said resistance training/weights is the way to go as that seems to be your issue.

Palamedes

Weight loss is easy and for sissies. You are trying to do something much harder. You are trying to find a better level of fitness. I won't suggest totally ditching the scales, but if the number is the same or slightly down that is good enough. Having said that, you can pretty much ignore your weight.

You need to keep moving and add more resistance and weight training. I like getting help from the gym staff when starting a new weight lift program. Doing exercise in the correct manner will keep you from getting injuried.

You are trying to do a tough thing and a little obsession will help. However, the obsession needs to be about working out and not about your weight.

liquoricecat

Thank you all so much for your advice. I'm definitely going to give resistance training a go - might even invest in some weights! Also, I'm currently using an aerobics DVD that is at least ten years old, so I'm going to take your advice, Schtroumpfkin, and give the Jillian Michaels one a go.

Lu x

pleasepleaseno

lusanataylor wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I haven't been active in the forum yet but have been 'lurking' for a while. Apologies for starting off on a rant but, at least here I know I'm in good company and I won't be boring my friends and family with my weight loss woes.

First off, I know I don't really have reason to complain. I'm already a healthy weight (5ft 8, 135 lbs) but as somebody who carries most of their weight around the middle, I always find I have to be on the lower end of my BMI to not look chunky. People who are much heavier than me often look slimmer and are able to fit into smaller clothes sizes. I have fluctuated in my post-adolescent lifetime between about 147 lbs and 121 lbs. The former was MUCH too big for me, the latter too small and impossible to sustain (N.B. I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but my behaviour in the past has probably fitted in with that definition). I am, at present, a UK size 12 (a size 8 in American sizing) but would love to get back down to a size 10 (US size 6).

My new goal is about 128-130 lbs but I just have this feeling that I'm going to become obsessed again and it's going to rule my life. I've already had a mini freakout that I haven't lost anything - even though I've only been dieting and exercising seriously again for a week.

I just want to have a healthy and balanced approach to weight loss but once I start on it, I find I get so frantic and stupid about it. Guess it would be nice just to hear from people who also struggle with these sorts of feelings.

Lu x

Well in regards to how you're feeling, I can relate. I'm currently 5'6" and 143 lbs. A healthy BMI, yet I still feel like I could lose more. My original goal was 140, but now I'm thinking 135 is better. I become obsessed quite easily, and I don't think it's "normal" per say, but it is quite so in this population of people who have been conscious of their weight for a long time/a majority of their life. Even though so many folks on the forum have suggested a .5 lbs per week at this point in my weight loss, I struggle to commit to it and always switch back to 1 lb. per week. I think its hard to strike a balance, but all we can do is our best. Feel free to add me & good luck!

stonegirldancing42

Much love and strength to you. We all need a good self-absorbed monologue every once in a while and it's AWESOME you are catching yourself to prevent unhealthy.

PRMinx

Well, I'm 5'4 and I hover around 136 (at 141 now because I drank too much beer all summer).

I don't think it's a weight issue. It's a body comp issue. Start a lifting program, work your way up in weight and you will be amazed at the way your body changes.

starcollapsing

Find other things to think about and don't let yourself care what you weigh or how you look.

lilmisfit1987

I think you need some distractions! Whenever I am stressing about something I know I shouldn't be I distract myself. I clean my entire place a scrub down. I volunteer. I bake. I sew. I play video games. Do whatever you want to do, just give your mind something else to think about!

JustinAnimal

Agreeing with everyone recommending strength training. It reorders your body and redistributes fat around it (or so I've read), making those people with a higher BF% look "better" or fit into smaller clothes.

I fully recommend The Spartacus Workout (from menshealth.com). This can be done entirely with body weights and, it might be psychosomatic, but I always feel like I look more toned the next day. Same with taebo or other aerobic workouts that seems to focus on BW strength training and HIIT.

But free weights are great, too! They are what I prefer to do the majority of the time.

knitapeace

I find having a fitness goal (five pushups in a row, increase weight on a certain lift, etc) rather than a scale goal brings much more satisfaction. You're able to DO more and looking better is a happy side effect. The number on that stupid scale is more easily dismissed as irrelevant.

PRMinx

knitapeace wrote: »

I find having a fitness goal (five pushups in a row, increase weight on a certain lift, etc) rather than a scale goal brings much more satisfaction. You're able to DO more and looking better is a happy side effect. The number on that stupid scale is more easily dismissed as irrelevant.

This is also excellent advice.

AliceDark

lusanataylor wrote: »

I think I do need to get away from the scale weight thing but it's so easy to see that as a mark of my achievement so when it doesn't move, it just feels like I've failed.

I totally get that! There are so many things that contribute to the number on the scale that it really doesn't tell the whole picture. Do you take measurements? You don't get feedback as quickly so it can be frustrating (you see changes on about a month-to-month basis, not weekly or daily), but who cares what the scale says if you're getting smaller?

liquoricecat

I did try and take measurements for a while and perhaps I should continue with that. It's just that I have annoyingly big hips so it gets a bit demoralising! I tend to lose from my limbs and face but still have that podge around the stomach area - which is why I should probably take heed of all the strength training advice.

Also, I agree with everyone saying that I should keep myself busy. I was most happy with my weight when I was at university and that was because I was active all the time (not with lots of sports or anything because I suck at sports but just with walking to lectures, getting involved with things, going to see friends, etc...) I have a pretty sedentary life now because I work in publishing and therefore sit at a desk a lot of the time. I guess my metabolism has taken a hit.

For me weight loss is a very psychological thing. For the most part, I don't like the way I look and I guess weight is the only thing I feel I can fully control about my appearance. I hate that I feel this way because I know it's shallow and ridiculous and I don't judge anyone else on the way they look or how much they weigh - I guess I'm my own worst critic!

liquoricecat

pleasepleaseno - I will add you. Been a little hesitant to add friends because then everyone will know I ate a Kinder egg for breakfast (it was on my bedside table! I don't have THAT much discipline.)
x