Employee with Eating Disorder...What Do I Do?
SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
Posts: 2,668 Member
I need some feedback. I have an employee who is dealing with an eating disorder. It's fairly obvious and I finally had a heart-to-heart with her about it. It's not affecting her job but I was worried. She admitted to it, and using company resources, I have gotten her set up with counselling, etc. which is fully paid for. She gives me periodic updates on her progress and I allow her the time to go to her appointments if she needs to leave early.
Here is my issue - I'm not sure if it's helping. I occasionally walk into the ladies' room while she is vomiting or bingeing. Others in the office have been noticing for a long time (although obviously I keep her privacy in mind and do not engage in conversation about it). She has been in treatment for more than 3 months so I haven't been expecting instant progress.
I don't know what to do, if anything, at this point. As a boss, I have gotten her help and am supporting her in that way. As a fellow human being, I feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm kind of at a loss here.
Thoughts?
Here is my issue - I'm not sure if it's helping. I occasionally walk into the ladies' room while she is vomiting or bingeing. Others in the office have been noticing for a long time (although obviously I keep her privacy in mind and do not engage in conversation about it). She has been in treatment for more than 3 months so I haven't been expecting instant progress.
I don't know what to do, if anything, at this point. As a boss, I have gotten her help and am supporting her in that way. As a fellow human being, I feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm kind of at a loss here.
Thoughts?
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Replies
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Unfortunately, that's really all you can do. She has to want to get better in order to get better and nothing you say or do will change that. ED is a psychological disorder.
Also, from an HR perspective, I might back away slowly from the situation. I don't think it's appropriate for bosses to get involved in their employees mental and physical health issues.0 -
I considered that for a long time before I said anything. I engaged my HR dept at head office, explained the situation, and they agreed that it was not out of line for me to discuss it with her. It really is a difficult situation.Unfortunately, that's really all you can do. She has to want to get better in order to get better and nothing you say or do will change that. ED is a psychological disorder.
Also, from an HR perspective, I might back away slowly from the situation. I don't think it's appropriate for bosses to get involved in their employees mental and physical health issues.
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Totally bummed. I thought this was about erectile dysfunction and there would be a hilarious story to accompany. Sadness...0
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Unfortunately I think you've done all you can. The decision to get better lies with her now and nothing you can say or do will make her hit that point before she's ready.
If, and only if, it starts affecting her job performance, do I think you need to step in again.
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Geez I thought it was about someone with a limp one too...disappointment.0
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ROFL sorry to disappoint...and thanks for the chuckleJustinAnimal wrote: »Totally bummed. I thought this was about erectile dysfunction and there would be a hilarious story to accompany. Sadness...
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Fixed the title
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Don't push her. She most likely knows people walk in on her binging or vomiting and is already mortified. If you mention it, or try to push her towards getting better faster, it's likely to backfire and you will make things worse or push her away. It sounds like she knows you're there for her (as much is appropriate in a workplace) and unfortunately that's all you can really do.0
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Treatment takes time, even really good treatment. You already did the best thing you could do for her.0
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I considered that for a long time before I said anything. I engaged my HR dept at head office, explained the situation, and they agreed that it was not out of line for me to discuss it with her. It really is a difficult situation.Unfortunately, that's really all you can do. She has to want to get better in order to get better and nothing you say or do will change that. ED is a psychological disorder.
Also, from an HR perspective, I might back away slowly from the situation. I don't think it's appropriate for bosses to get involved in their employees mental and physical health issues.
Are you in the U.S.?
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No, Canada
I considered that for a long time before I said anything. I engaged my HR dept at head office, explained the situation, and they agreed that it was not out of line for me to discuss it with her. It really is a difficult situation.Unfortunately, that's really all you can do. She has to want to get better in order to get better and nothing you say or do will change that. ED is a psychological disorder.
Also, from an HR perspective, I might back away slowly from the situation. I don't think it's appropriate for bosses to get involved in their employees mental and physical health issues.
Are you in the U.S.?
0 -
No, Canada
I considered that for a long time before I said anything. I engaged my HR dept at head office, explained the situation, and they agreed that it was not out of line for me to discuss it with her. It really is a difficult situation.Unfortunately, that's really all you can do. She has to want to get better in order to get better and nothing you say or do will change that. ED is a psychological disorder.
Also, from an HR perspective, I might back away slowly from the situation. I don't think it's appropriate for bosses to get involved in their employees mental and physical health issues.
Are you in the U.S.?
Ahhh. Yeah, that would be a no go here in the U.S. for fear of a lawsuit down the line.
Anyway, unfortunately, there's nothing you can do. She's got to fix herself for herself.
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I work for a Dutch organisation for people who suffer from eating disorders and I think you've already done a lot more than most employers do.
I hope the therapy will help her sort things out. Eating disorders are a b*tch!
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You've done far more than many would already, and that's great. As others have said, there is only so much you can do - it's the old "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink" analogy. Especially as a boss, you have the additional worry of crossing a line. Keep the lines of cummunication open, but don't press any further.0
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I need some feedback. I have an employee who is dealing with an eating disorder. It's fairly obvious and I finally had a heart-to-heart with her about it. It's not affecting her job but I was worried. She admitted to it, and using company resources, I have gotten her set up with counselling, etc. which is fully paid for. She gives me periodic updates on her progress and I allow her the time to go to her appointments if she needs to leave early.
Here is my issue - I'm not sure if it's helping. I occasionally walk into the ladies' room while she is vomiting or bingeing. Others in the office have been noticing for a long time (although obviously I keep her privacy in mind and do not engage in conversation about it). She has been in treatment for more than 3 months so I haven't been expecting instant progress.
I don't know what to do, if anything, at this point. As a boss, I have gotten her help and am supporting her in that way. As a fellow human being, I feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm kind of at a loss here.
Thoughts?
I am an employee with an eating disorder. I relapse from time to time. My boss can sense it and he just asks if I'm ok and offers support if I need it.
I appreciate his support and giving me my space. Just let her know you are open to her if needed. And don't be close minded. It's a compulsion like OCD. You can't just turn it off. It's a mental illness! But on the plus side of it she's probably a perfectionist and does great work!
I hope things turn out well! Good luck!
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Thank you so much for this. It's really insightful to hear your POV, being on the other side. And thanks also to everyone else who has responded. I will give her the space and time that she needs to work through this and let her know that I will continue to be there for her if she needs support.I need some feedback. I have an employee who is dealing with an eating disorder. It's fairly obvious and I finally had a heart-to-heart with her about it. It's not affecting her job but I was worried. She admitted to it, and using company resources, I have gotten her set up with counselling, etc. which is fully paid for. She gives me periodic updates on her progress and I allow her the time to go to her appointments if she needs to leave early.
Here is my issue - I'm not sure if it's helping. I occasionally walk into the ladies' room while she is vomiting or bingeing. Others in the office have been noticing for a long time (although obviously I keep her privacy in mind and do not engage in conversation about it). She has been in treatment for more than 3 months so I haven't been expecting instant progress.
I don't know what to do, if anything, at this point. As a boss, I have gotten her help and am supporting her in that way. As a fellow human being, I feel like I'm not doing enough. I'm kind of at a loss here.
Thoughts?
I am an employee with an eating disorder. I relapse from time to time. My boss can sense it and he just asks if I'm ok and offers support if I need it.
I appreciate his support and giving me my space. Just let her know you are open to her if needed. And don't be close minded. It's a compulsion like OCD. You can't just turn it off. It's a mental illness! But on the plus side of it she's probably a perfectionist and does great work!
I hope things turn out well! Good luck!
0
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