Dieting with significant other

skr00b
skr00b Posts: 4
in Motivation and Support
Howdy Folks,

This month my girlfriend and I started our quest to lose weight together after a not so pleasant trip to the doctor. I'm considerably overweight at 5 foot 11 and 285 lbs. She's much less overweight, and has a lot less to lose, and because of that difference our daily goals are significantly different. I have a daily goal of 1860, whereas hers is around 1300. This has already led to some uncomfortable situations when deciding on a meal when I have 800-1000 calories remaining and she only has a couple hundred. Because we normally eat dinner together, I feel like I'm causing her to go over her goal, being a jerk by eating a bigger meal in front of her, or starving myself to try and eat the same things as her.

Has anyone else had issues like this? How did you deal with it? I've found myself sneaking food earlier in the day when she's not around to try and "equalize" things so we have similar calories remaining by dinner time, but this has led to some questionable decisions on food earlier in the day for me.

Replies

  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
    I don't think you should feel uncomfortable eating more than your girldfriend - this is usually a normal occurance that men (I am assuming you are a male) or even a person of larger stature eats more than a smaller person. Your girldfriend should not have any issues and if she does she needs to get over it because I am sure at some point in her life she will be faced with someone eating more than her or even eating something she doesn't want to or shouldn't eat.
    - This reminds me of how when we start losing weight our offers to hang out or go out to eat start drying up, people assume we don't eat or we will fall way off the wagon just because we are around others eating. For me this is never a concern. I think it is cool that you are doing this together!
  • skr00b
    skr00b Posts: 4
    You are correct, I'm male. I don't think it has bothered her at all yet, so I'm probably just worrying for nothing. All the same, on days where I've walked 5 miles and get the urge for a big mac I should probably not do it in front of her! :)
  • shadowofender
    shadowofender Posts: 786 Member
    I'm at a severe deficit. I'm also 5'11'' give or take, and 273.9..but female. And I eat 1700 a day. My bf is not trying to lose pounds so he gets almost 1000 more than me a day even though he's way shorter.

    I'm not offended when he eats a bigger dinner in front of me. Or if he cooks his portion with olive oil and I can't that day. It's something to do together and we both understand we have different needs. Not a big deal.
  • wanttolose40lbs
    wanttolose40lbs Posts: 239 Member
    My husband and I are doing this together, he always has way more calories at the end of the day than I do, so his supper portions are much bigger than mine. I don't feel deprived I get full on what I eat. But, he doesn't eat hamburger so I don't have to worry about him eating a big mac in front of me. Went to McDonalds this morning, he got the big breakfast with hotcakes, and I got an Egg White Delight McMuffin for only 250 calories, it works
  • wildlypurple
    wildlypurple Posts: 9 Member
    Regardless of weight, as a man you'll always need to consume more than her. My husband and I are also doing this journey (more like a competition) together. We plan our own meals for breakfast and lunch and we do eat as a family (with our kids) the same thing. I ALWAYS have way less calories than him so I just tailor my plate to what I need based on what we're eating. He does the same. Never feel guilty or feel like you need to sneak your calories in. That will set you up for failure and you'll become frustrated.

    If you and your girlfriend will be eating out, choose a restaurant that is able to cater to both of you.

    Definitely plan your meals ahead of time and getting your, and her, calories in should be easier. Good luck!
  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
    That's how my boyfriend and I started, cuz of a dr. appt... and we both decided to lose weight. I'm the one on this site, he just decided to eat less (he's not into the whole calorie counting)... But since I'm the one who cooks the meals anyways, I know that his smaller portions will be bigger than mine. And it's worked for us, we've both lost weight so far. And there are times that he gets home from work and starts snacking on chips and soda or whatever and I just ignore it (or take a chip or two and a sip from his soda LOL >:) ) but I'm not gonna get bothered that he gets to do that and I can't cuz I have no more calories to spare for the day.

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