Do we really need goals?

Patttience · October 2014

I think 50sfit says it well. with his list of goal, program, etc

However, sourceless, i'm with you on the business of daily and weekly weightloss goals but that's what some people feel they need to do to make their weightloss program work. Focusing on reaching numbers at regular designated times, doesn't work for me so, having tried it a few times, i don't bother with that lot. Numbers goals like those are tricky and i find stress inducing too. I also think they can set you up for failure because they don't take into account the reality of people's lives. They treat themselves more like machine. And i think they only work at all when you are already really motivated. As soon as you hit a road bump, they cause stress and stop being a positive tool.

On the other hand, you have set a goal for yourself but do you have a program and do you come up with strategies that can help you achieve your goal. You want to kick the sugar out. (I'm presuming you mean sugar as in sweets and not in the totality of carbs).

Particularly at the beginning, its important to avoid disappointments so your strategies must fit you perfectly and your goals must be easily achievable.

When my motivation is weak, I go back to the big picture. Take your foot off the pedal a little and be kind to yourself without returning back to habitual harmful and self defeating behaviours. Whatever you can do to stay on the path is good but it should be things that you want to do and come fairly easily.

So yeah i've quit sugar that is sweets and i've cut down on white carbs too. I started in January. And my strategy has really worked for me even though i did have the goal of reaching my weightloss goal by the end of the year which was a number but it seemed fairly achievable. I never crave sweets anymore in a way that makes me want to go out and buy a chocolate bar etc. Lately i have struggled a bit with my weight goals, just as i was 2 pounds away from my big number goal.

To spare you the whole story, basically what i did to deal with it, was stop doing all the more obsessive stuff that i've been doing to keep myself focussed and that was i tired of or struggling with, such calorie counting and extra physical activity. I allowed myself to eat more and gain a bit of weight if that's what i needed to do and i looked for professional support in the form of a councillor because i've recognised and respect the link between mood and food. A low mood gives me a bingy appetite and i don't want to do anything. (These days i've I'm going to binge, it will be on nuts, and just other healthy food but never again sweets). I went back to a few basic things i need to do in order to avoid piling the weight back on and landing up at my starting point. For me these are daily weighing and noting it. Food logging on a spreadsheet on my computer. Eating a variety of quality food, especially vegetables and fruit and cooking to make it all taste good and make me happy again. Cooking vegetables - I'm not sure if there's anything more important beyond regular weighing and food logging than learning how to enjoy and love eating your vegetables. And cooking has the side benefit of keeping you on your feet and moving, takes up time and keeps boredom away. Yesterday i cooked something called badenjam min tamar-el-hind or in english, Aubergines with tamarind from a recipe book i got from the library. No boring old steamed or boiled vegetables for me thanks very much.

So for me to stay off sweets i know that my key strategy is having plenty of other good and tasty food around and eating that instead. When i'm feeling strong and motivated, i can cut back on the quantity but it comes somewhat naturally when my mood is better. Check out my diary to see the sort of food i eat.

I will just mention too that i did experiment a little with sugar free desserts (using dried fruit and often a lot of butter) and ultimately found that they were risky. Fruit, fresh or stewed, on the other hand is great. And its even better with unsweetened yoghurt and seeds.

FancyPantsFran · October 2014

Big goals yes but break it down into smaller goals. My BIG goal is to lose 60 pounds. I celebrate every 5 pound loss 12 of them and Im at 60

50sFit · October 2014

faytwain wrote: »

Big goals yes but break it down into smaller goals. My BIG goal is to lose 60 pounds. I celebrate every 5 pound loss 12 of them and Im at 60

^^^^^
(*) THIS (*)
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time...

LeonCX · October 2014

very interesting topic. Every time I have ever tried to lose weight, I always set up goal "timetables" - and always fail. Goals almost certainly are a double-edged sword. The whole goal idea has me thinking. At least for me, perhaps goals do more harm than good. I should make my weight loss more of a "to do" rather than a goal.

_Terrapin_ · October 2014

Does a fieldgoal kicker need uprights? OP--write them down, cut them down to size, measure them, plan it, execute. Simple. Get started.

Hadabetter · October 2014

Your goals don't need to be results oriented. Process oriented goals are perfectly legit too (and very zen). Eat a little healthier today than yesterday. Get a little more exercise burn. Be a little kinder. Don't stress, just improve a little every day.

But these things are more difficult to quantify and so, it's easier to fool yourself into thinking you are actually dong better.

_HeartsOnFire_ · October 2014

lorib642 · October 2014

It depends on the type of goal for me. Setting a time to lose x amount of weight is too much pressure for me. I don't fit in some groups that are supposed to help motivate you. I think it may be too soon, too much at once.

You are here for a reason. If you know why, you can make plans how to get there.

Liftng4Lis · October 2014

Haven't you ever heard the saying "The difference between who you are, and who you want to be is what you do"!

extraordinary_machine · October 2014

If you don't like the word "goals" may I suggest: http://www.thesaurus.com/

PrizePopple · October 2014

And my "goals" are rewards, rewards that are freaking awesome and I feel awesome when I hit them ... like hitting 190 pounds ... then 185 ... and then suddenly some stupid chart didn't label me as "obese". I have an Ipsy subscription now, and I when I find earrings that I love I can buy them because I met the goal that corresponds to that reward.

I freaking love my goals.

ndj1979 · October 2014

50sFit wrote: »

Sourceress wrote: »

When I search for motivation online and in life people tend to throw the word 'goal' back at me. I don't want to set a goal for myself. While it sets up the possibility of success, it also sets up a much larger possibility of failure. The success is nice but the failure is too much anymore. Even this very welcoming community stresses me out about setting daily goals and weekly goals and so on and so forth. It's too much. Can we not just find success in getting through sugar withdrawal? Or simply figuring out how to eat without being idiots about it?

Does anyone else get stressed out by goals?

Success and achievement can me summed up with one word: goals.
Most are too lazy and ruled by fear to set goals. Again, that's most people.
Don't join that herd. Be different.
set your goals'

make a plan

take action

stay motivated

never quit

That's how winning is done. Good Luck!

all this…

OP - if you do not have goals then how do you know if you are progressing or not.

I run a small business, and we are always measuring how we are progressing via different measures. If I just came in every day and did not know how the company is progressing, how would I be able to make any decisions about the direction of the company.

The same is true with fitness. You need to set goals so in a month, three months, six months, etc, you can look back and say wow when I started I could only squat 100# but now I can squat 125# ….or I was 200# and now I am 190#..

if you don't have goals you can't measure up your performance….

shadowofender · October 2014

How are you supposed to know you're succeeding without a goal? The possibility of failure exists in all aspects of life and not setting a goal that you want to achieve because you might not achieve it is so lazy to me.

Set a goal. If you hit it, FANTASTIC! If you don't, that's ok because now you learned how adjust your expectations and adjust your mind set. Clearly goals are a mental thing, and if you don't have that in line, you won't succeed with anything.

_HeartsOnFire_ · October 2014

If you fail you know what happens? You learn. You learn, you grow, you change. Though I don't like the word fail so I use flail…

"Bruce, why do we fall?………so that we can learn to pick ourselves up."

Patttience · October 2014

The difference between the people who are talking a lot about goals and the op is that those people are already well motivated and believe in their ability to achieve their goals. When you don't have that motivation or that self-believe detailed plans and lots of small goals are not the answer.

Take one goal at a time. Yes break it down into something small that you can feel confident you can do. It doesn't matter how small the goal is but it must be something you feel committed to achieving and confident and happy about doing. Focus not the small goal, but don't forget about the big goal and the big picture because this will keep you strong when you feel a little bit weak. Confidence and motivation tends to come from results.

If your confidence and motivation are weak, i'm not sure that hooking up with a lot of people who are highly motivated and confident is necessarily a good idea. Sharing progress with them can for some people back fire at certain points. They may feel like they are lagging behind if they have a long way to go. they may develop a feeling of competitiveness which only works for people who have a high level of self-belief in their ability to achieve the goal.

What someone lacking confidence and motivation needs is a caring and supportive person somewhere in their life, even on a forum. A lot of the people falling into the competitive goal keeping camp are also caring and supportive but talk with them through a different channel than the one where everyone is showing off their progress. If you start to feel pressured and can't keep up with what you think their hopes are for you, find others who are feel more nurturing to you where you feel their expectations don't matter.

haildodger · October 2014

_HeartsOnFire_ wrote: »

If you fail you know what happens? You learn. You learn, you grow, you change. Though I don't like the word fail so I use flail…

"Bruce, why do we fall?………so that we can learn to pick ourselves up."

Batman movie quotes FTW!

records1138 · October 2014

@Sorceress - I have a main goal - drop 100 LB's, and a daily goal - stay withing my calorie range. It's not stressful, it's a mind set. With all due respect, sounds like you need to get into the right mind set. Once you do, the goal won't be stressful or a failure. It will just be something you do.

records1138 · October 2014

You dig?

Sourceress · October 2014

I feel like I'm not being clear.

It seems to me the difference between needing goals and not needing goals is the difference between losing weight and changing completely. When I'm talking about the sugar withdrawal, I do mean a complete absence of all sugar, carbs and fruit. I've done it before, I know what I'm doing and I'm healthy enough to do it. (I will personally pluck the toe hairs of anyone who turns this into the dangers of ketosis post.)

But this is what I mean, I've done it before and then I failed at it. So the plan is to do this lifestyle change until life demands I can't. So a true complete change is simply do it or don't. I did it and it worked, then I stopped and progress stopped. Little targets don't work in this circumstance, because they don't. My daily objectives are things like; eat something, try to cook it on my own, make it not suck. These are stupid stressful marks so I say *kitten* them.

And of course none of this will matter when the sugar withdrawal subsides. I will stop having these ridiculous needy mood swings and I will have no more desire for sweets or bread or beer or fruit. I will still have no support but that won't matter because it will be easier. And I will be able to focus on the fitness aspect of it all and that is a land where competitiveness and stupid little ambitions do function.

As far my original post about a lack of motivation, I remembered my initial thought process. I can apply my self destructive behavior positively. I hate the self that I am. I know that eating unhealthily does not produce a self that I like. So instead of spending money and calories on things that keep me unhappy, I'm going to not do that. I will no longer expend any energy or supplies on keeping myself unhappy. That is what stupid people do resulting in stupid, fat, poor people. I'm not going to be one of those. I will continue to destroy the self I am and maybe eventually I will find a self I don't want to destroy.

GaleHawkins · October 2014

Sourceress I think I follow your post but personally can not relate to it because it sounds negative in the last sentence. I do not get hung up about goals and I do not think counting calories is functional for long term success based on the medical research and my personal experience.

I agree with you about sugar and carbs too. Sugar and heroin addictions do have a lot in common. After understanding that it has made walking away from sugar more easy since I will not do heroin because it would harm my health. I started 90 days ago on coconut oil just to test it as a health food knowing nothing about ketosis/weight loss side effect.

After 24 hours of no coconut oil now (ran out yesterday) my pain level was starting to creep up. Got more today (Krogers had it on sale) and picked up ten of the 14 oz jars. If I do sugar/carbs my pain level starts back up even with the coconut oil (10-15 tablespoons daily).

I do get some accidental carbs so even them I want to keep under 20 grams a day at least at this point in time. For health reasons I never plan to even test if I can eat some sugar without the pain returning.

As a food abuser I know where I would wind up if I did. Not getting hungry hardly ever is great but I know if I burn most of my 75 pounds of fat I will have to eat enough fat to maintain a weight of say 175 pounds.

My goal is to learn the foods that I can eat that do not contain many carbs and live on that. Since I now medically understand bread, sugar and other carbs are a poison in my case just as heroin is why would I want to eat them?

Dieting is an emotional mindset in my case. Because of my arthritis I moved less and ate more to distract myself from the pain. With the pain managed (with coconut oil today) I move more and do not crave sugar to distract myself from pain any longer.

However just because this is working for me I do not push others to limit carbs even in my home. What we eat, when we eat and how much we eat as of yet is not controlled by any man laws.

Do we really need goals?

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