Do we really need goals?

PrizePopple

And my "goals" are rewards, rewards that are freaking awesome and I feel awesome when I hit them ... like hitting 190 pounds ... then 185 ... and then suddenly some stupid chart didn't label me as "obese". I have an Ipsy subscription now, and I when I find earrings that I love I can buy them because I met the goal that corresponds to that reward.

I freaking love my goals.

ndj1979

50sFit wrote: »

Sourceress wrote: »

When I search for motivation online and in life people tend to throw the word 'goal' back at me. I don't want to set a goal for myself. While it sets up the possibility of success, it also sets up a much larger possibility of failure. The success is nice but the failure is too much anymore. Even this very welcoming community stresses me out about setting daily goals and weekly goals and so on and so forth. It's too much. Can we not just find success in getting through sugar withdrawal? Or simply figuring out how to eat without being idiots about it?

Does anyone else get stressed out by goals?

Success and achievement can me summed up with one word: goals.
Most are too lazy and ruled by fear to set goals. Again, that's most people.
Don't join that herd. Be different.

• set your goals'
• make a plan
• take action
• stay motivated
• never quit

That's how winning is done. Good Luck!

all this…

OP - if you do not have goals then how do you know if you are progressing or not.

I run a small business, and we are always measuring how we are progressing via different measures. If I just came in every day and did not know how the company is progressing, how would I be able to make any decisions about the direction of the company.

The same is true with fitness. You need to set goals so in a month, three months, six months, etc, you can look back and say wow when I started I could only squat 100# but now I can squat 125# ….or I was 200# and now I am 190#..

if you don't have goals you can't measure up your performance….

shadowofender

How are you supposed to know you're succeeding without a goal? The possibility of failure exists in all aspects of life and not setting a goal that you want to achieve because you might not achieve it is so lazy to me.

Set a goal. If you hit it, FANTASTIC! If you don't, that's ok because now you learned how adjust your expectations and adjust your mind set. Clearly goals are a mental thing, and if you don't have that in line, you won't succeed with anything.

_HeartsOnFire_

If you fail you know what happens? You learn. You learn, you grow, you change. Though I don't like the word fail so I use flail…

"Bruce, why do we fall?………so that we can learn to pick ourselves up."

Patttience

The difference between the people who are talking a lot about goals and the op is that those people are already well motivated and believe in their ability to achieve their goals. When you don't have that motivation or that self-believe detailed plans and lots of small goals are not the answer.

Take one goal at a time. Yes break it down into something small that you can feel confident you can do. It doesn't matter how small the goal is but it must be something you feel committed to achieving and confident and happy about doing. Focus not the small goal, but don't forget about the big goal and the big picture because this will keep you strong when you feel a little bit weak. Confidence and motivation tends to come from results.

If your confidence and motivation are weak, i'm not sure that hooking up with a lot of people who are highly motivated and confident is necessarily a good idea. Sharing progress with them can for some people back fire at certain points. They may feel like they are lagging behind if they have a long way to go. they may develop a feeling of competitiveness which only works for people who have a high level of self-belief in their ability to achieve the goal.

What someone lacking confidence and motivation needs is a caring and supportive person somewhere in their life, even on a forum. A lot of the people falling into the competitive goal keeping camp are also caring and supportive but talk with them through a different channel than the one where everyone is showing off their progress. If you start to feel pressured and can't keep up with what you think their hopes are for you, find others who are feel more nurturing to you where you feel their expectations don't matter.

haildodger

_HeartsOnFire_ wrote: »

If you fail you know what happens? You learn. You learn, you grow, you change. Though I don't like the word fail so I use flail…

"Bruce, why do we fall?………so that we can learn to pick ourselves up."

Batman movie quotes FTW!

records1138

@Sorceress - I have a main goal - drop 100 LB's, and a daily goal - stay withing my calorie range. It's not stressful, it's a mind set. With all due respect, sounds like you need to get into the right mind set. Once you do, the goal won't be stressful or a failure. It will just be something you do.

records1138

You dig?

Sourceress

I feel like I'm not being clear.

It seems to me the difference between needing goals and not needing goals is the difference between losing weight and changing completely. When I'm talking about the sugar withdrawal, I do mean a complete absence of all sugar, carbs and fruit. I've done it before, I know what I'm doing and I'm healthy enough to do it. (I will personally pluck the toe hairs of anyone who turns this into the dangers of ketosis post.)

But this is what I mean, I've done it before and then I failed at it. So the plan is to do this lifestyle change until life demands I can't. So a true complete change is simply do it or don't. I did it and it worked, then I stopped and progress stopped. Little targets don't work in this circumstance, because they don't. My daily objectives are things like; eat something, try to cook it on my own, make it not suck. These are stupid stressful marks so I say *kitten* them.

And of course none of this will matter when the sugar withdrawal subsides. I will stop having these ridiculous needy mood swings and I will have no more desire for sweets or bread or beer or fruit. I will still have no support but that won't matter because it will be easier. And I will be able to focus on the fitness aspect of it all and that is a land where competitiveness and stupid little ambitions do function.

As far my original post about a lack of motivation, I remembered my initial thought process. I can apply my self destructive behavior positively. I hate the self that I am. I know that eating unhealthily does not produce a self that I like. So instead of spending money and calories on things that keep me unhappy, I'm going to not do that. I will no longer expend any energy or supplies on keeping myself unhappy. That is what stupid people do resulting in stupid, fat, poor people. I'm not going to be one of those. I will continue to destroy the self I am and maybe eventually I will find a self I don't want to destroy.

GaleHawkins

Sourceress I think I follow your post but personally can not relate to it because it sounds negative in the last sentence. I do not get hung up about goals and I do not think counting calories is functional for long term success based on the medical research and my personal experience.

I agree with you about sugar and carbs too. Sugar and heroin addictions do have a lot in common. After understanding that it has made walking away from sugar more easy since I will not do heroin because it would harm my health. I started 90 days ago on coconut oil just to test it as a health food knowing nothing about ketosis/weight loss side effect.

After 24 hours of no coconut oil now (ran out yesterday) my pain level was starting to creep up. Got more today (Krogers had it on sale) and picked up ten of the 14 oz jars. If I do sugar/carbs my pain level starts back up even with the coconut oil (10-15 tablespoons daily).

I do get some accidental carbs so even them I want to keep under 20 grams a day at least at this point in time. For health reasons I never plan to even test if I can eat some sugar without the pain returning.

As a food abuser I know where I would wind up if I did. Not getting hungry hardly ever is great but I know if I burn most of my 75 pounds of fat I will have to eat enough fat to maintain a weight of say 175 pounds.

My goal is to learn the foods that I can eat that do not contain many carbs and live on that. Since I now medically understand bread, sugar and other carbs are a poison in my case just as heroin is why would I want to eat them?

Dieting is an emotional mindset in my case. Because of my arthritis I moved less and ate more to distract myself from the pain. With the pain managed (with coconut oil today) I move more and do not crave sugar to distract myself from pain any longer.

However just because this is working for me I do not push others to limit carbs even in my home. What we eat, when we eat and how much we eat as of yet is not controlled by any man laws.

RobynMWilson

You wouldn't use a GPS without plugging in a destination, right? So why are you approaching weight loss without setting goals? Don't be afraid to fail. Set reasonable, realistic mini goals. I had my big goal of losing 70lbs, but I would also pick dates to be at a certain weight by. So, like March 1987 I wanted to be 170, by the time I went to Disney in April 1987, I wanted to be 165. And they were very doable goals. So when I surpassed them, it just spurred me on to continue! It was very beneficial in my weight loss! If you believe you can, you will!