Family encourages ED. I think.

Xuluwuki

I still live home because of economical problems with mother and siblings. I told them I want to diet. They said "Go ahead! Finally you're trying to lose weight you fat pig". I started logging. I noticed I didn't eat enough protein. So I ordered whey powder, in secret. My mom found out and she started raging. She told me I'm inconsistent in what I do. She tells me I'm stuffing myself with dinner, eating fish at noon and drinking the shakes. I'm not moving enough according to her even when I burn 1500 - 2000 calories by exercising every week. Then she started calling me loser etc. I rarely go over my caloric limit which is my baseline tdee (so no exercising included, desk job). I'm developing an ED I'm afraid. I'm hiding food and eat in secret.

consideritdonemi

Get a second job. Find a roommate or two. Move close enough where you only need public transportation and can walk to work. Find out where there is cheap/low cost access to therapy in your community. Consider taking a break from your family and go live your life. It amazes me how some people continue to put up with a-holes just because they are 'family'.

PrizePopple

At this point I'm more inclined to tell you to grow a set. Them being a-holes should have nothing to do with it. YOU are hiding it because you actually care what they think and say. An eating disorder is a disease, a recognized meantal health disorder. If they stopped being a-holes you wouldn't be hiding your eating habits. Furthermore its not like you're hiding your thousands of calories worth of binge eating in one go, because then yeah, that may fall into an ED category.

What you need to do GTFO of that house.

alcrisp93

Families are complicated. Regardless of whether you have an ed or not, they're treating you in abusive ways that don't in any way encourage healthy habits or mind set.

In my experience, when people say "I think I have an ed", they have more going on than eating in secret. This one thing alone doesn't an eating disorder make, but only you know the truth of all your behaviors.

"Grow a pair" isn't extremely helpful advice, especially where abuse patterns are concerned. If you could make an attempt to distance yourself from your family's criticism, you would be less affected by the things they believe. Maybe try imagining visuals like a glass wall separating you from the things they think, or even verbally reminding yourself that you are your own person and you make your own decisions and they have no say in you.

If it's possible, seek professional help. Even if you don't have an ED, counseling would help you deal with your family problems, I think.

anna_doe1986

Ok, I've been through hours and hours of group ED therapy; I've been inpatient and in resi programs... Let's just say, I know lots of people with ED.

Let me say, from my experience in group therapy with ED-sufferers, it's set-ups like the one you just described that puts someone at a risk of ED. People have described far less dramatic home lives as the cause of their ED. I'm not saying you definitely have one, but please don't listen to what your mom is saying.

I don't care what size you are or what your weight goal is. No one, absolutely no one, should be talked to like that about how much they eat or exercise. In the whole range of possible BMI's, the answer is fostering a healthy relationship with food. That's not how you're going to get there.

RodaRose

They are like that about things other than food. Come up with a plan to move out. (Having a plan will help you.)
Stop talking to them about your food. Keep away from it as a topic of conversation.

Liftng4Lis

Just move out.

Oishii

I think people who have never logged have pretty much no idea what is eating a lot and what isn't, ditto the exercise. For example, my mum, when I was growing up, never believed me when I said I was hungry because she'd just made what she thought was a big meal. Now that I calorie count, I know that some of those meals were sub 400kcal and as a growing teen it wasn't enough.

Now my mum cooks for us once a week and if I'm still hungry I may eat secretly just to avoid upsetting her. I feel like she expects me to be satisfied, when I'm not. I try to stop her from telling my son, who is very light, whether or not he is hungry, but she does it automatically, perhaps partly because she feels defensive.