Failure
fitnessmalak
Posts: 45 Member
This is terrible, what is wrong with me. I can not seem to just do it. I start off really motivated then on second day I become so depressed especially now that Im spending whole day at home due to waiting for security check to come through to start work they said itll take 6 weeks. I want to spend whole day out but then how would I eat healthily? So depressed feeling like such a failure
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Replies
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You need to get your mindset right. You are young so you might be more sensitive to the slings and arrows of life. If you really are depressed/anxious then you should speak to your Dr about it.
If you want to diet then my tips are to read up and learn about it so you can know what to expect.
Secondly prepare well by knowing how toy will deal with set back or how you intend to keep your motivation going. Knowledge helps a lot and puts things into perspective.
Is it a DBS check? If you know theres nothing wrong then you just have to be patient till the paperwork comes through. No idea why you feel like a failure. Nothing ive seen indicates it.
The most successfule dieters appear those who keep focused and just keep taking more stpes in the right direction than steps away. Keep it in perspective and don be down on yourself.0 -
The road to success is paved with the stones of failure.fitnessmalak wrote: »... feeling like such a failure
We all fail, but you're not a failure unless you quit, and again, on the way to a goal, you will have setbacks.
Just keep going. Giving up is the easy path, and that's most people.
Stay out of that herd. The ability to get back up, gather energy, make changes and get back in the fight is what separates a winner from a loser.
BE A WINNER!
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Thank you for your kind words. It frustrates me how many times I have disappointed myself with sticking to a healthy diet. Anyway I will start over again and must read this forum when I feel like giving up to remember how bad I felt.
Yes the DBS check, I should take this 6 weeks as an advantage to start work feeling good about myself.
Thanks again x x0 -
i think... that if you find reasons you cant do something, you cant do it. instead find ways to make it happen. if it is really what you want. you have to really want it, not just want it because you should want it.
to eat healthy when out is easy. either bring food with you, or plan in advance where you will go and what to order... or stick with the basics that you already know. it depends on what your goals are but there are ways to do it i do it daily.0 -
Thanks yes I completely agree, and I do want it but I am an emotional eater so at the time I just think of the comfort feeling, I must focus on what I want forever and not for that moment0
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try exersize. i am an emotional eater too, so now when i want to eat when i am not hungry... i ask myself why, and if it is emotional, to stuff bad feelings... i get some endorhins from running and it works like a charm. doesnt take the problems away but does change my feeling about it...0
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Great idea-distract self with exercise0
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So your relationship with food is causing you problems. I wouldnt start dieting again until I was going to do soemthing different and I knew it would make a difference. You have to look at the moment when it comes to take option a or option b that you choose the one that doesnt help you. You need to make the commitment if you wnat it badly enough and all the sacrifices that come with it. Falling back on being an emotional eater is not oing to get you through it, so think of how you cna make a difference and stick to it.
The DBS check is nothing to do with dieting, it will happen in its own time, so be patient. Stop saying you disappoint yourself and be supportive to yourself. Beating up will only serve to make you sad, less effective and its a waste of energy. Read the forums and leanr some of the tips other people use. You cna do it if you focus and take it one day at a time.0 -
Thank you really )), I read what you wrote carefully. I will now plan out what to do when the emotional eating thoughts occur and I will try a new step for the first time "take it one day at a time" as I usually think (a month- causes me impatience).0
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There really is no failure here short of not trying.0
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Baby steps
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Don't think about it being a diet, Just count your cals and eat whatever you want staying under you cals... You will lose weight.. Then once you have a handle on that you can start working on fine tuning and eating healthy while adjusting your macros....0
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Thank you.
I heard people do lose weight through eating what they like as long as within their calories, I am always sceptical about that thinking I might not lose the weight. But, actually I haven't tried it and no matter what the results are 1: I for sure wont put weight ON and 2: Its better than binging due to not having foods like carbs and so on. Thank you very much for that!! 0 -
I was having the same issues trying to do it on my own... I could do well for a little while and then fail and completely give up. In July I joined a facebook fitness and nutrition accountability group and since then I have been able to lose 25 pounds and have stayed motivated the whole time. Happy to help in any way I can. Feel free to friend me. ankdworak0
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lessismoreohio wrote: »There really is no failure here short of not trying.
+10 -
1. Remember that weight loss takes time. Depending on how much you have to lose, it could take at least a year or more to reach your goal. Set small goals and aim for them. Once you see that you can achieve a goal of 10 or 15 pounds lost and have less to lose over all, you will be more motivated and encouraged.
2. Take it one meal at a time. We all mess up and eat the wrong things from time to time. This doesn't mean we failed or should give up. It means we're human. Don't beat yourself up. Just make a better decision next time.
3. You can't go from couch potato-junkfoodeating-ball-of-sluggishness to marathonrunner-onlyorganicwholefoodeating-ball-of-energy overnight. Tiny steps add up. Start by cutting down on one unhealthy food habit and adding in a small amount of exercise, even if it is 5 minutes at first. As you start to see results you will be encouraged to do more.
4. Plateaus will happen. This does not mean you have failed. It means now is the time to do more. This is why starting small is important. Once the weight stops coming off then you have more to work towards and more attainable goals.
5. Birthdays, holidays and other events are, for most, an unavoidable certainty. Don't be afraid to have a piece of cake or some chips and dip. Tell yourself you will only have a little, and mean it. 1 small cupcake or whatever won't ruin your weight loss and will kill the craving for sweets and junk food just the same as 2 or 3. And by eating one, you will feel better about yourself. Use these times for the times when you should indulge.
6. If it is important to you, you will find a way. Learn the difference between an excuse and a real reason. Why are you eating the junk? Why won't you get up and exercise? What do you want more? Fat or healthy?
7. Don't expect to lose more than 1 or 2 pounds a week. Expecting to lose more is tough and you will get discouraged. Yes, at first you will lose weight faster. However, eventually, your body catches up to itself. A loss is a loss no matter what. As long as the number on the scale, tape measure, or clothing size is getting smaller, you are achieving your goal.
Just some things I have had to learn throughout my life and this journey. We are all human. You can do it!!0 -
Thank you so much seriously so helpful, I am really looking forward to writing a post in a weeks time expressing how happy and strong I feel in my self and all the comments written here would have contributed to that definitely. Thank you0
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You're welcome. I understand what it is like to feel like a failure when it comes to weight loss. I lost 30 pounds, gained back 10, and over the course of about 4 years, slowly lost the 10 I gained back and maintained that weight for a couple of years. I had some things happen during that 4 years like depression and being out of work that kept me from even trying to lose weight.fitnessmalak wrote: »Thank you so much seriously so helpful, I am really looking forward to writing a post in a weeks time expressing how happy and strong I feel in my self and all the comments written here would have contributed to that definitely. Thank you
It has only been about a month and a half that I have been losing weight. So far, I have lost a total of 9 or so pounds. I am so proud and motivated. Seeing a picture of myself with another person who has lost a lot of weight was the thing that made it all click for me. I thought if she can do it, so can I. Reading success stories and motivational posts on MFP helps too.
" Do or Do not. There is no try."
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fitnessmalak wrote: »Thank you.
I heard people do lose weight through eating what they like as long as within their calories, I am always sceptical about that thinking I might not lose the weight. But, actually I haven't tried it and no matter what the results are 1: I for sure wont put weight ON and 2: Its better than binging due to not having foods like carbs and so on. Thank you very much for that!!
I am someone who does lose weight as long as I stay within my calories. While my diet is CONSIDERABLY more weighted towards broccoli and chicken and less towards chocolate or french fries, if I have 400 calories available for a meal and we're at McDonald's (call it once or twice a year), I really might get a happy meal, and no it doesn't screw up my weight loss.
My other meals were probably more like salads or scrambled eggs that day, but still...
Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.0 -
"Do or do not, there's no try" I like this..
As for your weight-loss, I am so happy for you and to read "I am so proud and motivated" in turn motivates me to want to get to that point. You picked your self up from those 4 years, things are only gonna get better now. 0 -
Thank you for your comment, its so nice to hear from individuals who have lost weight still while indulging with treats every now and again. This decreases the strain my mind has while I say "okay I'm on a diet" The thought that actually if I really want to have some I can within calories puts me at ease. I am very pleased for you and I wish you continues success with your weight-loss.
Thanks again
x x x0 -
NoelFigart1 wrote: »Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
That is one of the best pieces of advice I have read on these boards.
Lots of good advice mentioned already OP. I just wanted to share the first couple of weeks as I was practicing accurate logging and sticking to the calorie goal MFP set for me it was terribly upsetting to me. I had my goal set at .5 loss per week and felt my calories were very easy for me to stick to and feel full, but the emotions of eating all these foods and being on track to lose .5 a week was just overwhelming.
I don't even know how to describe it other than to say it just felt very unsettling.
Some days I still went a bit over but I plugged away at .5/week until I got more comfortable then I upped my goal a bit (I started morbidly obese so I can safely and pretty easily lose 2lb/week).
Thinking back I know I felt a bit freaked out, but it is much easier now just a few short weeks later. I can no longer remember that distressed feeling. Sometimes in life we just have to proceed through a bit of discomfort but know you are not alone. I took a lot of leisurely walks in nice outdoors locations looking at the scenery to help quiet my mind.
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fitnessmalak wrote: »Thank you.
I heard people do lose weight through eating what they like as long as within their calories, I am always sceptical about that thinking I might not lose the weight. But, actually I haven't tried it and no matter what the results are 1: I for sure wont put weight ON and 2: Its better than binging due to not having foods like carbs and so on. Thank you very much for that!!
i eat dessert every day. at least once. i eat at restaurants several times a week... with discretion. once in a while i even eat fried stuff. i eat cheese. bread. every single day. i make croutons for my salads, and i use butter. all these things i cant give up for life, nor do i want to, so i learn how to eat how i want to eat for life. in moderation. i figure if i learn how to live like i will live after weight loss now, it will be much easier to maintain.
i also eat tons of veggies, little red meat (although i need a burger once in a while to feel right), lots of fish. the good stuff that makes me feel energetic and healthy.
but i do what i want... i dont plan my menus, i have a range of calories per meal i try to stay under 300 for breakfast, 500 for lunch, 600 for dinner (or less, but i try to stay under that) and the rest for snacks and dessert. i work out so i can eat more if i want. whatever fits.
and i have lost 57 pounds or so since february.
you just eat less, and move more. and try to make the less satisfying.
and give yourself a break.
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Heyyyyy.......you haven't failed unless you totally give up. The fact you are discussing it actually means that you are still working towards it. Why are you beating yourself up so much? You now have 6 fun filled weeks that you can work out at home or in the park. Join a free class. Tons of things =-) I am so jealous!
I think maybe you should focus on your mindset first. Maybe go to youtube and listen to a tony robbins video or something like that? It really helped me when I was in a tough place in the past x0 -
Hello!
I have felt exactly the same as you. I have been a yo-yo dieter for a long long time. Every single time, I have failed. I have tried Weight Waters, Slimming World and SlimFast. They work for a while, but as soon as I approach my goal weight, I feel like I'm "cured" and I go back to the way I used to be. I have always done my diets in secret, because deep down, I know that I will fail.
This time feels different.
I have been open and honest with my friends, my family and more importantly, the MFP community. I now have a great support network, and I have been feeling happy for the first time in a long time. The Happiness that I am feeling now, is causing me to stick with it, and the weirdest thing of all: I'm enjoying it!!! I am shocked at myself, and my family are noticing a difference in me. Not physically, just yet (I am only on week 3 with 4lbs down), but they notice how positive I am.
My advice to you is: use MFP the way it needs to be. Add people as friends, gain a support network. Tell your family and your friends what you hope to achieve. With their help, you'll do it. You don't have to be alone in this. There is no better feeling than getting on the scales and seeing that needle stop on a lower number than the week before. Once you start feeling the buzz, you'll be great! Share your successes on here. Because these people are in similar situations to you, and they care!
I have been overwhelmed with the congratulations I have recieved on here because I have lost 4lb. It is the motivation and the reassurance that I need.
I hope this helps. You can add me as a friend, if you like? We can help each other get to where we want to be! 0 -
redfisher1974 wrote: »Don't think about it being a diet, Just count your cals and eat whatever you want staying under you cals... You will lose weight.. Then once you have a handle on that you can start working on fine tuning and eating healthy while adjusting your macros....
+ 1....very well put. This is how I started on 9/11/2014 after I went to the Dr - didnt like what I saw or hear, he highly recommended MFP - and in a little over 5 weeks with moderate exercise, Ihave been able to lose 18lbs. It realy does work if you count calories and simply stay under your recommended goal for the day. Stay positive, things WILL turn around for you!!!0 -
You're stuck at home? Brilliant opportunity to batch cook a load of healthy meals that you can parcel up and shove in freezer for the next time you can't be bothered to cook
look for some easy recipes that you think you'll love - look at what foods you've got in and go for it
or make a shopping list
or meal plan some ideas you can grab and go out with
make a list of your 3 favourite meals then google ways to make healthy versions, then make a shopping list for nipping out after your cheque comes
stick an exercise DVD on and do it - then eat the calories you've earned
change your mindset about what is getting to you if you can
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fitnessmalak wrote: »Thank you.
I heard people do lose weight through eating what they like as long as within their calories, I am always sceptical about that thinking I might not lose the weight. But, actually I haven't tried it and no matter what the results are 1: I for sure wont put weight ON and 2: Its better than binging due to not having foods like carbs and so on. Thank you very much for that!!
i eat dessert every day. at least once. i eat at restaurants several times a week... with discretion. once in a while i even eat fried stuff. i eat cheese. bread. every single day. i make croutons for my salads, and i use butter. all these things i cant give up for life, nor do i want to, so i learn how to eat how i want to eat for life. in moderation. i figure if i learn how to live like i will live after weight loss now, it will be much easier to maintain.
i also eat tons of veggies, little red meat (although i need a burger once in a while to feel right), lots of fish. the good stuff that makes me feel energetic and healthy.
but i do what i want... i dont plan my menus, i have a range of calories per meal i try to stay under 300 for breakfast, 500 for lunch, 600 for dinner (or less, but i try to stay under that) and the rest for snacks and dessert. i work out so i can eat more if i want. whatever fits.
and i have lost 57 pounds or so since february.
you just eat less, and move more. and try to make the less satisfying.
and give yourself a break.
Wow that's a brilliant weight-loss I am extremely happy for you and the foods you eat seem satisfying. I am really positive about this time.
Thank you very much for your support I appreciate it a lot
x x x0 -
The road to success is paved with the stones of failure.fitnessmalak wrote: »... feeling like such a failure
We all fail, but you're not a failure unless you quit, and again, on the way to a goal, you will have setbacks.
Just keep going. Giving up is the easy path, and that's most people.
Stay out of that herd. The ability to get back up, gather energy, make changes and get back in the fight is what separates a winner from a loser.
BE A WINNER!
well said ... just keep going and keep choosing to do the next right thing.
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Heyyyyy.......you haven't failed unless you totally give up. The fact you are discussing it actually means that you are still working towards it. Why are you beating yourself up so much? You now have 6 fun filled weeks that you can work out at home or in the park. Join a free class. Tons of things =-) I am so jealous!
I think maybe you should focus on your mindset first. Maybe go to youtube and listen to a tony robbins video or something like that? It really helped me when I was in a tough place in the past x
You're right I should take advantage of this time. Christmas holiday approaching and I think You will have time as well ))
Thank you for the youtube list, I really like hearing motivational talks, and if it helped you I might also find it useful.
Im glad to see you quoted "in the past" I hope you'll always be in comfortable happy place rather than negatively tough ).
Thank you very much for your support
x x x
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