Feeling isolated...

4ever420
4ever420 Posts: 4,088 Member
in Motivation and Support
So since I've lost over 80 lbs my life has changed dramatically. I feel good, look way better, and am generally enjoying life. There are a few drawbacks though that I didn't expect to deal with.

Lately I've been feeling a little lonely on my journey. I have my overweight friends and they are supportive but just aren't in the same place as me anymore and then there's my friends/family who have never had weight problems, who just don't understand where I've come from and how much it has taken to get where I am now. It's hard to explain but I kind of feel in between two places in my life, I'm not as overweight anymore but I'm still not really close to my goal. I sometimes feel like I don't know where I fit in my life anymore. MFP has been great for connecting with people who are on the same journey but in everyday life I feel somewhat out of place.

Overall though I am happy and wouldn't trade my success for anything in the world and I'm sure in time I'll adjust to the new me. Anyone else feel this way?

Replies

  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
    No I'm not but I certainly wish I was as you have done amazingly well losing 80 pounds- a huge well done to you!!!

    I imagine that what you are feeling is perfectly normal as I have often heard that it takes your mind time to catch up with your body when you have lost a lot of weight.

    Maybe take some time out to consider how you have changed along this journey, maybe it's time to re-evaluate yourself, who you are, what you like etc..........

    I wish you much happiness xxx
  • luckydays27
    luckydays27 Posts: 552 Member
    The only advice that I can give is that you should enjoy where you are and flaunt all of your hard work. And maybe look for new friends with the same sort of goals.

    Look for a meetup group in your area that focuses on the fitness goals that you have. I participate in a scuba meet up that is awesome. Great people and because of volume buyers we get to dive some pretty great locations cheaper than if I did it on my own.
  • lambchoplewis
    lambchoplewis Posts: 797
    I feel for you. You have shown the discipline and unfortunately, your friends are jealous. It is so hard not to feel isolated but... just stick with it. Maybe, eventually they will get motivated to lose or just not gain.
  • singlefemalelawyer
    singlefemalelawyer Posts: 382 Member
    All my life I've felt like I never quite belong anywhere so I can relate. I feel alone even when surrounded by people. You can lose the weight, but losing the "fat person mentality" can be trickier. Some people focus on getting the body healthy, which is great, but I've been trying to regain control of both my MIND and BODY - I truly believe you need to work on both to be happy. And you have to learn how to be happy in the present moment and accept who you are. Happiness is not a destination but a mode of transportation. Realizing this has helped me overcome some of the feelings of hopelessness and isolation that I have felt in the last couple years. You can be happy right now, you just have to learn how to change your way of thinking. And believe me, this is not easy (I still struggle with this myself).

    All I can say is that you are def. not alone here and so many of us have similar stories/experiences. Keep your chin up and know that you're on the right track and be patient - good things are coming your way. You just have to be in the right state of mind to even notice them sometimes. So keep working on yourself and one day you'll be thankful you didn't give up.

    If you need more friends feel free to add me :D
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
    your friends may feel that the "glue" that held the relationship together was being overweight. I don't necessarily think that they are "jealous" of your accomplishment-- they may feel that you will reject them because of their weight issues. They may be struggling with feelings of "failure" in light of your success. They may feel that now that you are a "normal" weight,you will judge them they way many judge people with weight issues -- harshly.

    I don't think most people understand the transformative effects of loosing weight has on an individual; and therefore, don't acknowledge it. Whether one looses 10 lbs or 100 lbs, many normal weight people treat it as if it's all the same, without any consideration to the underlying psychological effects and implications of lossing ALOT of weight.

    I think that as you feel comfortable in your new "skin" that you worked so hard for, you will feel better.

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