Alcohol

stonegirldancing42

This is more of a share than anything else, as an admitting fact to others that may also be dealing with this.

Prior to moving to Austin, I barely drank. But, after moving here, living directly next to a gas station that sells beer & wine, I begin drinking.

This has been around 7 years of this. To the point of me not seeing a bottle of wine a night being a bad thing.

So, I went from my heels of being 120lbs (my lightest) to 200lbs (my heaviest). Being in the mental health field, I *knew* I had a problem. It wasn't until I visited my parents back in Philly did I realize 1) how dependent on alcohol I was and 2) that it was noticeable.

My dad spoke up (which is a rare thing in general - not in a negative way, he is quiet and gentle usually w/things) and said "3 out of your 4 grandparents self medicated. You need to take care of yourself."

Then shared that w/his medication for his depression, he can't have more than two drinks. Kill two birds with one stone?

After a few months and a really bad wake up call w/my mental health (severe paranoia while on a trip w/friends, who still self medicate), I decided to get help.

Now, on meds that work, I'm sleeping good, panic under control... But....

Can still down a bottle of wine. Apparently, I can still stay within 1400calories and drink the bottle.

This was/is bad. Catching myself now.