Help.

getfitcharles

I want to lose 20 lbs. I've been trying and failing to do this for months, and have gained weight instead. I log what I eat every single day. I know what I'm doing wrong. I binge eat all the time and I know it's disgusting and I know it's making me gain weight and I know it doesn't make sense and yet I still can't stop myself. Every day I'll tell myself that I never have to do this again, and I will be healthy from now on, yet within a day or two I'm repeating the exact same scenario. First of all, I do NOT overeat out of hunger. I know that it's just boredom. But I have absolutely nothing worthwhile in my life. I've been incredibly depressed for many years and the more weight I gain, the more depressed I feel, which results in the whole 'I don't give a f***, nothing even matters' attitude and I binge more, then have panic attacks about the weight I'm going to gain.

I wish there was a simple solution to this. I live with my mum, who constantly buys the sort of stuff I binge on. She knows I've gained 20 lbs in the past two years, but doesn't think it's a big deal and doesn't get why it bothers me so much, and doesn't seem to realise just how much I do eat and how out of control I feel. She just tells me I look fine, but I feel disgusting. I hate the feeling of having fat on my body and if I could, I'd just rip it all off. But I can't, because I'm a disgusting pig with zero willpower and no motivation and nothing to fill my time. I'm terrified that I won't be able to stop and I'll just end up hugely overweight and utterly despise myself. It's not as simple as 'here, follow this strict diet' because that's my problem: I'm disgusting and can't even do something that simple.

missshyeviolett

If it's in the house, you'll eat it. I would too. You need to tell your mother not to buy those things for you, and if she cares about your health she'll comply. Does she eat this stuff too or is it just for you?

Also, exercise. Just get moving, do something. It's really the best antidepressant you can get. I realize that when you're depressed, the last thing you want to do is exercise. Just realize that it's a vicious cycle and tell yourself to put a stop to it.

lilRicki

NIacin...try taking niacin!

getfitcharles

If it's in the house, you'll eat it. I would too. You need to tell your mother not to buy those things for you, and if she cares about your health she'll comply. Does she eat this stuff too or is it just for you?

Also, exercise. Just get moving, do something. It's really the best antidepressant you can get. I realize that when you're depressed, the last thing you want to do is exercise. Just realize that it's a vicious cycle and tell yourself to put a stop to it.

Yeah she does, and so does my brother, but it's often left in the cupboards for days and I'll have it before anyone else does. Packets of biscuits and chocolate, and my mum's job is a baker so there is constantly cake in the house.

I actually walk a lot. Rather compulsively, pacing back and forth around the house... I really want to join a gym, and there's one opening near me next week actually which I will join. I just feel kinda bad about spending money on it.

candicane32081

Have you seen a doctor about your depression? It sounds like you are emotional eating. I have had trouble with this in the past, but I can tell you it does get better with time especially if you have someone to talk to. If you are like me, you eat more also when you get upset. A lot of people don't understand what the big deal is with our relationship with food, but we do. I just keep certain foods out of my house. I understand that this isn't an option for you, but see if your mom will buy something that isn't as bad for you and try that. Also, try exercising or walking when you feel this way. This is just a few things that have helped me in the past. Hope it helps you!

getfitcharles

Have you seen a doctor about your depression? It sounds like you are emotional eating. I have had trouble with this in the past, but I can tell you it does get better with time especially if you have someone to talk to. If you are like me, you eat more also when you get upset. A lot of people don't understand what the big deal is with our relationship with food, but we do. I just keep certain foods out of my house. I understand that this isn't an option for you, but see if your mom will buy something that isn't as bad for you and try that. Also, try exercising or walking when you feel this way. This is just a few things that have helped me in the past. Hope it helps you!

I do see a doctor of sorts, about an unrelated mental health issue. I said to him about this eating problem and he really scared me by starting talking about ED clinics and how he might have to stop seeing me because 'eating disorder needs to be treated first' and also told me I'd better not lose any weight. Seems to have gotten the complete wrong idea and I'm scared I've ruined things for myself now.

I don't have anyone to talk to at all. Literally just my mum, who is far from sympathetic. I have no friends, and no idea how to make friends, and no social skills. When I was at university before I quit, I would go weeks without speaking to people, just because I had nobody who I saw on a regular basis. I'm kinda scared about going back, as I'm due to in September. On one hand, I'll have my own place this time and I'll be in complete control of what food I buy, but I'll also be on my own constantly again so boredom and depression..

Coyoteldy

ok lets look at a few things... one you did not ruin anything for yourself...I am proud you are getting help for your mental health...if this doctor wont/cant help you.. find another..sometimes we have to go to several therapists/doctors before we find one we click with... don't be afraid to give yourself that choice. You are worth a gym membership if that's what works for you.. guilt is a useless emotion.. I would love to see you tell yourself that you are worth the effort...we think you are !

jadams1650

You are a young male. Forget the diet for now. Lift weights...a good program...eat whatever you want. Just lift, lift, lift. Your body will transform on its own from the lifting. You have the benefit of testosterone...pretty hard to add fat when your caloric surplus is going into lean mass. Once you get into the fitness routine, you can begin to modify your diet to provide the micro-nutrients you need without depriving yourself of the food you want. This will work if you are dedicated.

cmriverside

If you could start to turn your self-hatred into a productive life, you would feel a lot better.

Volunteer somewhere...anywhere...an animal shelter, a homeless shelter, a retirement home, a school. You need to get out of your own head.