Sabotage

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Does anyone else feel sabotaged sometimes by their spouse? For example, making a perfect apple pie or buying your favorite ice cream even though you ask them not to. As I lose weight my wife seems to notice her own fat more. She talks about supporting me but her actions are the exact opposite.
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  • cstevenson86
    cstevenson86 Posts: 158 Member
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    My husband tries to be supportive, he truly does. But, sometimes he falters. He will eat something he subconsciously knows I like. For instance, last night we got Subway. I had a healthy veggie sub 1/2. He got the meal which included two cookies. He ate them in front of me. It was hard to watch, but you learn to accept it.

    You can't expect your wife to stop eating what she wants because you are trying to lose weight. I know how you feel though, sometimes it can feel as though our spouses' are being insensitive. We are just like alcoholics or drug addicts - our addiction is food. We have to learn to accept the fact that we can't eat whatever we want. Regardless of whose around.

    If it really bothers you, I would talk to your wife about it. Tell her how hard this journey is. My husband had a Klondike bar last night and I had no idea! He ate it discretely in the kitchen away from me. Good luck to you, you can do this!
  • Trishism
    Trishism Posts: 79 Member
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    My husband and I are both easily able to influence each other's decisions, so any time either one of us has tried being healthy on their own it's only lasted a couple of weeks because we just don't have the willpower to be good if the other one isn't.

    Anyway, we were making really unhealthy decisions that we know had to change for the good of our family so we decided to start together. For us we have to do it together, but I've tried on my own and it is SO hard. My sister is another example, her husband won't eat healthy with her at all, so whenever she cooks she has to make a different meal for herself and I think it's a total lack of support. It doesn't sound like your situation is that, though!

    My advice would be to ask her to at least ease up on buying those treats that you're trying to stay away from. She's probably a bit envious that you've found the drive to do something about your weight - I know I've felt that way in the past. Just say that losing this weight is making you feel a lot better, and it would be easier if she kept that in mind when grocery shopping, or when making desserts. Maybe suggest to keep the apple pies for when you're having people over and/or are going for a visit?
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
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    Make room in your day for a treat or work out a bit more to earn one. Deprivation never works in the long run.
  • Elsie_Brownraisin
    Elsie_Brownraisin Posts: 786 Member
    edited October 2014
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    I can't stand it, I know you plannned it...

    Sorry, had to be the first loser in there.

    Have you flat out asked her not to make those things? Or merely suggested that you don't really want those things lying around? Or said oh no, but then gone on to eat it and got annoyed with yourself afterwards? I tend to do the last one.

    From how you've phrased it 'notice her fat more', is she trying to lose weight too? Or just generally becoming more unhappy with her figure? Not for you to say to her that she should, dear me, but it'd put a different slant on it if she's actively trying to lose weight too and is perhaps a little resentful of your progress.


  • redfisher1974
    redfisher1974 Posts: 614 Member
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    I think it may be good practice for having to deal with this outside of the home...If you can get over it with the spouse then you can manage it anywhere!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,715 Member
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    I think it may be good practice for having to deal with this outside of the home...If you can get over it with the spouse then you can manage it anywhere!

    Oh, dear god! Not the horrid clown from "American Horror Story"! I love that show, watched every season so far, but I'm really having a hard time watching this season when I see the clown. (I'm running away in fear now!)
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,135 Member
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    No.

    When my husband brings home something for me, I'll see if it fits in my day. If it doesn't, I fit it in the next day. I wold never consider my husband bringing me home food as sabotoge unless he also tied me down and forced it down my throat.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    Listen all ya'll this is sabotage
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    zyxst wrote: »
    No.

    When my husband brings home something for me, I'll see if it fits in my day. If it doesn't, I fit it in the next day. I wold never consider my husband bringing me home food as sabotoge unless he also tied me down and forced it down my throat.

    That's pretty hot.

  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    zyxst wrote: »
    No.

    When my husband brings home something for me, I'll see if it fits in my day. If it doesn't, I fit it in the next day. I wold never consider my husband bringing me home food as sabotoge unless he also tied me down and forced it down my throat.

    That's pretty hot.
    d60.gif
  • redfisher1974
    redfisher1974 Posts: 614 Member
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I think it may be good practice for having to deal with this outside of the home...If you can get over it with the spouse then you can manage it anywhere!

    Oh, dear god! Not the horrid clown from "American Horror Story"! I love that show, watched every season so far, but I'm really having a hard time watching this season when I see the clown. (I'm running away in fear now!)

    My fav show too! Just started season one murder house on netflix... Yeah my wife hates twisty the clown..lol
  • redfisher1974
    redfisher1974 Posts: 614 Member
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    OdesAngel wrote: »
    Listen all ya'll this is sabotage

    zprrxrzgad6b.jpg


  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    I figure this is my thing, not my husband's. I'm doing this for me and it would be completely unfair if I expected him to change up his life/not buy particular food just because I made a decision to change mine. Life is full of temptations, and part of being an adult is making a decision to either give in to them, or resist them. If you decide to give in, you then have the further decision of letting it blow your day out, or making it fit.

    Sabotage is a deliberate attempt to destroy, damage or obstruct something. Unless your wife is buying/making these things in a deliberate and malicious attempt to destroy your weight loss, it's not sabotage, it's life throwing you a temptation.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    Does anyone else feel sabotaged sometimes by their spouse? For example, making a perfect apple pie or buying your favorite ice cream even though you ask them not to. As I lose weight my wife seems to notice her own fat more. She talks about supporting me but her actions are the exact opposite.

    She bakes you pies and buys your favorite ice cream? Awww.
    That doesn't sound like sabotage to me.

    That said, yes, my diet nutrition goals are my own. I don't expect my spouse to keep up, or even agree. Thank her for being sweet, then don't eat the ice cream or the pie if you don't want to. Or eat a bit, if you want to. If you don't eat it, she'll get the message.
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
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    I figure this is my thing, not my husband's. I'm doing this for me and it would be completely unfair if I expected him to change up his life/not buy particular food just because I made a decision to change mine. Life is full of temptations, and part of being an adult is making a decision to either give in to them, or resist them. If you decide to give in, you then have the further decision of letting it blow your day out, or making it fit.

    Sabotage is a deliberate attempt to destroy, damage or obstruct something. Unless your wife is buying/making these things in a deliberate and malicious attempt to destroy your weight loss, it's not sabotage, it's life throwing you a temptation.

    100% agree. I like to think about it this way: there are lots of things in life that we can't control. The one thing you can always control is what goes into your mouth. Sure it's hard to resist yummy things but it is what it is for us. Don't blame other people for trying to "sabotage" you. Treat yourself every now and then and the rest of the time, give your wife a big kiss and say "no pie for me babe but you're seriously the bomb". That's what I do with the bf and it works like a charm :)
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
    edited November 2014
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    Unless you are unconscious on a feeding tube you are responsible for your caloric intake. 99.999% of people on a diet should add "sabotage" to their "excuse" thesaurus entry.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    As I lose weight my wife seems to notice her own fat more. She talks about supporting me but her actions are the exact opposite.

    Get a new one. She obviously doesn't appreciate or deserve you.

  • noexcusesjustresults2014
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    Take responsibility and don't blame your wife.
  • Fruitylicious03
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    Currently I'm trying to stop eating so much sweets. Breaking the habit. My mom has made butterscotch cupcakes. And we have ice cream. And my sister told me to take one OR TWO even though she knows I'm trying to stay away from the stuff.

    What I do is I weigh out the pros and cons. Pros : quick satisfaction. Cons : temporarily satisfaction, over my calorie goal, have to start my habit-streak all over, tooth ache from the ice cream, Gain water weight...

    ^^ still worth it? Yeah not so much. So all I did, was say no thanks I'm good. And she begged about 3 times more...and I stuck to the EXACT same answer. No thanks I'm good. And she left it there.
  • Fruitylicious03
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    I mean, you may still want it...but MAKE yourself say "I DO NOT want it." And then don't take it. That's it. I did want a cupcake, I was drooling for it. Yet I said I do not want it. And as soon as I said that out loud, I genuinely did not want it anymore.