When/How does it happen (mindset)

FitOldMomma

lorib642 wrote: »

I notice that many of the people who have been here for awhile and have been successful have developed a pretty healthy (for lack of a better word) lifestyle. It is a whole mindset. I don't know how to explain this well. I just know that I don't feel that way, never have. I don't think I would have got fat so easily if I did. Is it something that changes in you or were you always determined/focused?

For me it was when I stepped on a scale for the first time in several years and saw the number. I was horrified. Three and half pounds away from 300 pounds.

I immediately had a image in my head of what my life was headed for if I didn't make a HUGE change and quickly. I saw a motorized cart, an oxygen tank and me, not being able to actively enjoy life for a long time.

It isn't hard to let yourself go. For some it's an illness or an injury. For others it may be depression or eating disorder. All I know is that that day I decided I was much too young to feel so old and in so much pain and that there really was only one way to change things.
I had to make healthier choices. So I did. And I will continue to do so for every day I have left on this earth.

cwolfman13

lorib642 wrote: »

seltzermint wrote: »

What are you struggling with specifically, OP? Is it the food part, the exercise part, or other things like emotional, stress, etc?

As far as dieting I guess it is more the exercise part. I don't have a lot of wiggle room with my calories and it would help if I would burn some more. I am getting there.

But, that isn't really what I mean. It is more of an attitude: optimistic, confident. I know you can be anyone over the keyboard, but I know people like that, irl.

I s

cwolfman13 wrote: »

One of the biggest myths out there is that you need motivation, focus, determination, etc...that's a bunch of BS. People who are ultimately successful long term make healthful habits. Motivation is a fleeting thing...habits die hard (good or bad).

Healthful habits aren't created overnight...that's the another mistake people make...they want to just do a complete 180 overnight...flip a switch and they're superman or superwoman...doesn't work that way. Developing healthful habits is a process...that process often requires baby steps to get to where you want to go...nothing is going to happen overnight.

I would also add that as a matter of mindset, in my experience, it has to be about more than just some number on the scale. It really has to be about our overall health and well being on just about every level. People get so obsessed about some arbitrary number that they completely forget about actually being healthy (physically, spiritually, and mentally) and fit. Being at a healthy weight is just a bi-product of good livin', not really the purpose (or main purpose) of it.

I'm two years into my little good livin' safari...I've come a long way...and I have a long way to go. There is no timeline...there is no, "I have to be such and such weight or be able to do such and such by such and such a date." I just try to be a little better today than I was yesterday. This will carry on into perpetuity...you are never done...there truly is no finish line...the betterment of one's self is a life long endeavor.

That may have been what I was thinking of. Like when did healthful habits become a priority? But, I guess you develop them over time.

I just spent a lot of time watching life go by, not sure how to engage in life

I just did little things every day...I didn't make any drastic changes. I went from basically being a couch potato to making myself get up and go for a walk a few times per week...they were short at first...then I made them longer...then I decided I would go on more days...then I decided I would start to run a little...and I ran for some time pretty regularly and then I decided I really hated running...then I found my passion for my bike. This all over the course of about two years time...

You aren't going to always be motivated to do X, Y, or Z...just like with other things in your life. I'm rarely if ever motivated to do my laundry...but it needs doing, so I do it. I can tell you right now I'm in no mood for the gym and hitting the weight room tonight...I've had a rough week and it's only Tuesday...but Tuesday night is gym night...so I will go to the gym and I lift and when I get done I will be glad I did. Maybe I'll look more forward to Thursday nights session...maybe I won't...but regardless, my *kitten* will be in the squat rack by 5:45 PM on Thursday evening just like it is pretty much every Thursday evening unless I'm sick or caught up in something at work.

You also have to realize you're never going to be perfect...you're going to have good days, and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks...hell, August frackin' sucked for me...I generally ate pretty poorly, was inconsistent in my workouts, and just generally fatigued and under a lot of stress. But guess what? The month of August 2014 is pretty much irrelevant to the last two years and the 40+ years I hopefully have in front of me...no biggie. Get up and move on...

jane837

cwolfman13 wrote: »

I just did little things every day...I didn't make any drastic changes. I went from basically being a couch potato to making myself get up and go for a walk a few times per week...they were short at first...then I made them longer...then I decided I would go on more days...then I decided I would start to run a little...and I ran for some time pretty regularly and then I decided I really hated running...then I found my passion for my bike. This all over the course of about two years time...

You aren't going to always be motivated to do X, Y, or Z...just like with other things in your life. I'm rarely if ever motivated to do my laundry...but it needs doing, so I do it. I can tell you right now I'm in no mood for the gym and hitting the weight room tonight...I've had a rough week and it's only Tuesday...but Tuesday night is gym night...so I will go to the gym and I lift and when I get done I will be glad I did. Maybe I'll look more forward to Thursday nights session...maybe I won't...but regardless, my *kitten* will be in the squat rack by 5:45 PM on Thursday evening just like it is pretty much every Thursday evening unless I'm sick or caught up in something at work.

You also have to realize you're never going to be perfect...you're going to have good days, and bad days and good weeks and bad weeks...hell, August frackin' sucked for me...I generally ate pretty poorly, was inconsistent in my workouts, and just generally fatigued and under a lot of stress. But guess what? The month of August 2014 is pretty much irrelevant to the last two years and the 40+ years I hopefully have in front of me...no biggie. Get up and move on...

This is absolutely true for me, too. Lots of little new habits that accumulated slowly over time. I love the laundry analogy, and your comments about perfection are spot-on. I've "failed" a million times in the last 3.5 years.

crisb2

@lorib642 wrote: »

It is a whole mindset.

I took one step, a small one, quit sugary sodas (diet or regular). That led to quitting alcohol. Neither one did anything for me and realized the less I had them the less I craved them. Then, avoided processed foods (I went back and forth on that one, I've landed in a middle ground where I check all labels compulsively). And then another step and another. I've been at it a year, BABY STEPS all along the way, but I've found all of my decisions sustainable and without feeling deprived I've lost 33 lbs in a year and a half, which may not seem like much, but I've lost inches everywhere my waist and hips are 5 inches slimmer each! The fact that I've kept it off it's the longest I've actually stuck to any real diet and fitness changes.

I think to myself "it took me 10 years to do it to myself, I can give myself a 2-3 years to undo the damage", as long as it's steady and SUSTAINABLE.

And when I feel discouraged, I go back and look at what I've accomplished... I measure out what 5 inches of waist actually is... I use pictures to compare...

flatlndr

crisb2 wrote: »

@lorib642 wrote: »

It is a whole mindset.

I took one step, a small one, quit sugary sodas (diet or regular). That led to quitting alcohol. Neither one did anything for me and realized the less I had them the less I craved them. Then, avoided processed foods (I went back and forth on that one, I've landed in a middle ground where I check all labels compulsively). And then another step and another. I've been at it a year, BABY STEPS all along the way, but I've found all of my decisions sustainable and without feeling deprived I've lost 33 lbs in a year and a half, which may not seem like much, but I've lost inches everywhere my waist and hips are 5 inches slimmer each! The fact that I've kept it off it's the longest I've actually stuck to any real diet and fitness changes.

I think to myself "it took me 10 years to do it to myself, I can give myself a 2-3 years to undo the damage", as long as it's steady and SUSTAINABLE.

And when I feel discouraged, I go back and look at what I've accomplished... I measure out what 5 inches of waist actually is... I use pictures to compare...

^^^ Yes!

I had a similar progression of cutting back on sodas, alcohol and processed foods, along with compulsive label reading. And when I need encouragement about that last inch to go, I look at my belt ... down 8 inches.

RaspberryTickleChicken

I think it's different for everyone ... you may want to check out this thread of long-term maintainers & their 'AH-HA' moments & maybe it will inspire you to find yours. community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10005498/your-ah-ha-moment/p1

I think OP is right on the money in regards that mindset often times seems to be the tipping point to maintaining that success vs. regain. To start figuring out how to change your mindset, I'd suggest to do some soul searching & be 100% honest with yourself as to the why behind what you are currently doing. Ya know?

Best of luck to you.

teemama2

StrawberryJam40 wrote: »

There isn't anything to say to get anyone to get it...for that click, light bulb, club over the head. I'm 45 and it has never clicked until this summer. It just took me 2 weeks of logging honestly and not giving up. When I saw the scale moving, and what effortlessness it took to log it was a total WOW moment. Now I know I'll succeed. 31 pounds down and going strong. You just have to be ready for it, and accepting of the process. It was as basic as calorie in and calorie out for me. To FINALLY realize I didn't have to starve myself, didn't have to deprive myself, didn't need to kill myself on the treadmill, didn't have to do it all in one day, or think I needed a fad diet to get me there. To learn that what works for me may not work for someone else, but finding your own path. Good luck.

Well said!! You and I think a lot alike!! In the 2 1/2 years I have been on this journey to change my lifestyle one thing I have learned is to not deprive myself but in return I have learned if I indulge then I must make adjustments by increasing exercise or doing without something else the same day. If I really want the chocolate then I had better make sure to either run some more or to hit the step aerobics class. It really isn't rocket science but does require thought

lorib642

RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »

I think it's different for everyone ... you may want to check out this thread of long-term maintainers & their 'AH-HA' moments & maybe it will inspire you to find yours. community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10005498/your-ah-ha-moment/p1

I think OP is right on the money in regards that mindset often times seems to be the tipping point to maintaining that success vs. regain. To start figuring out how to change your mindset, I'd suggest to do some soul searching & be 100% honest with yourself as to the why behind what you are currently doing. Ya know?

Best of luck to you.

Thank you. I will check out that link