40 Pounds heavier than my guy, will i be too big size beside him? LDR

mariekatiex
mariekatiex Posts: 8
edited October 2014 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi everyone, i'm new to MFP.
I'm 5'7, 180 pounds. This is my highest ever weight. I'm usually 155-160 pounds.
I lost weight till i was 147 pounds and rebounce back to 180 pounds :(
I have really slim & long legs, bum is pretty flat. I'm an inverted triangle body shape.
I gain weight only on my arms and belly which i hate most. But i'm lucky that i have assets (if you know what i mean)

I'm currently dating a guy from another state (we didn't meet yet).
He's 5'8 and weighs around 142-145 pounds. I was around 165-170 when he asked for my weight. But i gained weight over the months due to stress at work. I'm not a Secret Internet Fatty (i hope) as he had already seen me on webcam. I'm just worried as i might look smaller in Webcam than what i am in real life.

I'll see him really soon for the first time. I worry that i'll look super big size compared to him.
Anyone in the same situation? Had anyone met someone online and they were bigger/smaller than what you think they are?

P.s my guy likes bigger girls and weight isn't a issue to him. I'm just curious and insecure.

Replies

  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    So tell him you've put on weight

  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    Damn. Never heard of SIF before now

    Anyway I was understanding the problem but then you said he likes bigger girls...
  • mariekatiex
    mariekatiex Posts: 8
    I used to live in Korea when weight is a major issue, thus causing me to feel insecure as i'm big size there. I've since moved back to US & this came to a shock to me because the place i was brought up, we were taught that anyone above average size will be unwanted by guys. And girls MUST be smaller than a guy there.
  • LumberJacck
    LumberJacck Posts: 559 Member
    Generally people look heavier on webcam than real life, due to the distortion caused by the distance between the camera and the person. Breasts look larger, too. He's bound to see you walk around the room when you're webcamming so he'll see you without any distortions.
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
    Whatever you do, don't let worries about your appearance keep you from meeting. You need to meet IRL to make sure the relationship has a future.

    I was 240 when I first met my husband after six months of chatting by phone and webcam. He is 175. It took us six months to meet because he was in Africa and I was in the USA (I know what you're thinking but NO, I didn't send him my life's savings!) I had many of the same concerns that you did. I was worried that I was looking better in pictures and in webcam- despite the fact that I'd often have the webcam in the kitchen so we could chit-chat while I was going about my daily life... so it wasn't like he didn't see me from every angle... even the unflattering ones... but still yeah I had concerns.

    The good news is that he told me that I looked even more beautiful than on camera. Yeah, he certainly could have been just pouring honey in my hears but it's still nice to hear.

    Here's some photos of us together so you can see what it looks like to other people. In all the pics I'm around 240ish and he's around 175.... so that's a 65 pound difference. I'm 5'5" and he's 5'8".
    h2jtk64bqfjx.jpg


    Best wishes to you with your meeting. I hope it's everything you both hope for.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    He hasn't actually met you and has dated you for the whole time it took to put on 33 pounds? Doesn't sound like he's going to care.
  • rbfdac
    rbfdac Posts: 1,057 Member
    mariekatiex wrote: »
    P.s my guy likes bigger girls and weight isn't a issue to him. I'm just curious and insecure.

    Here's your answer.

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    He like the meat. Give him something to bite in and stop worrying so much.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
    It sounds like he would be fine with it- I doubt he knows what a certain weight looks like, right? I'm just wondering why he asked you your weight and why you to him. Anyway, good luck. Be confident!
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    well....look at it this way: You haven't seen HIM yet either. Who knows what he really looks like. The web cam can work both ways....

    I never got how people can 'date' someone they've never met. Call me old school, but I always thought personal and physical internaction was the whole point of dating someone?
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,849 Member
    apparently his "anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun".

    in other words, he's already told you he likes bigger women, get over it :)
  • rand486
    rand486 Posts: 270 Member
    I've been lighter than the girls I've dated before - it's no big deal. In fact, my ex used to wear my jeans pretty regularly.

    Let him decide if he likes you; you decide if you like him. You have no control over how he feels about your body, so focus on what makes you happy.

    Have the body you want; Have the man you want. Expect him to do the same. :)
  • wilsoncl6
    wilsoncl6 Posts: 1,280 Member
    Sounds like you should be more worried about losing too much weight than having put too much on. Either way, he's obviously been attracted mainly to your personality if he hasn't had the pleasure of your company as yet. Not all guys are superficial and there is a body type for everyone.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    tracyannk28 wrote: »
    well....look at it this way: You haven't seen HIM yet either. Who knows what he really looks like. The web cam can work both ways....

    I never got how people can 'date' someone they've never met. Call me old school, but I always thought personal and physical internaction was the whole point of dating someone?

    I wonder that too. Is it really old school? I do not think so.

  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
    Don't worry about your weight, especially if it's not an issue with him. I was also bigger than my bf when I finally met him. But the most important part won't be the weight when you finally meet, instead it's gonna be how you guys finally interact face to face. To this day we're still together, and I'm still bigger than him (But I'm obviously working on getting smaller. :blush: ) Hope everything goes great with you guys!!
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,849 Member
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    tracyannk28 wrote: »
    well....look at it this way: You haven't seen HIM yet either. Who knows what he really looks like. The web cam can work both ways....

    I never got how people can 'date' someone they've never met. Call me old school, but I always thought personal and physical internaction was the whole point of dating someone?

    I wonder that too. Is it really old school? I do not think so.

    I "met" my husband (of 14yrs now) online (multi-user dungeon y'all!), and we progressed through chatting in game, to emailing/iming to phone calls to actually meeting in person. At no point before we met in person would I have considered us dating. We count the first time we met in person as an "anniversary" though we'd met online oh...10-11 months prior to that. We were married 10 months after meeting in person.

  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    nicsflyingcircus wrote: »
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    tracyannk28 wrote: »
    well....look at it this way: You haven't seen HIM yet either. Who knows what he really looks like. The web cam can work both ways....

    I never got how people can 'date' someone they've never met. Call me old school, but I always thought personal and physical internaction was the whole point of dating someone?

    I wonder that too. Is it really old school? I do not think so.

    I "met" my husband (of 14yrs now) online (multi-user dungeon y'all!), and we progressed through chatting in game, to emailing/iming to phone calls to actually meeting in person. At no point before we met in person would I have considered us dating. We count the first time we met in person as an "anniversary" though we'd met online oh...10-11 months prior to that. We were married 10 months after meeting in person.

    Oh - I'm not judging or saying it's not possible. But I don't understand how 2 people who never met in person can have a mutually exclusive committed relationship. I mean - what if you finally meet in person and the dude smells like *kitten*?
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,849 Member
    tracyannk28 wrote: »
    nicsflyingcircus wrote: »
    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    tracyannk28 wrote: »
    well....look at it this way: You haven't seen HIM yet either. Who knows what he really looks like. The web cam can work both ways....

    I never got how people can 'date' someone they've never met. Call me old school, but I always thought personal and physical internaction was the whole point of dating someone?

    I wonder that too. Is it really old school? I do not think so.

    I "met" my husband (of 14yrs now) online (multi-user dungeon y'all!), and we progressed through chatting in game, to emailing/iming to phone calls to actually meeting in person. At no point before we met in person would I have considered us dating. We count the first time we met in person as an "anniversary" though we'd met online oh...10-11 months prior to that. We were married 10 months after meeting in person.

    Oh - I'm not judging or saying it's not possible. But I don't understand how 2 people who never met in person can have a mutually exclusive committed relationship. I mean - what if you finally meet in person and the dude smells like *kitten*?

    I wasn't judging either, I actually agreed with you (see bolded part)
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    LOL sorry for the confusion @nicsflyingcircus! I didn't want you to think I was putting down you or your hubby :)

    Most guys I talk to on the internet just want to see my boobs. None actually want to date me lololol
  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
    Yeah, it's till you meet cuz like you said, what if it's like sssooo not the way you expected? Lol!!
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,849 Member
    tracyannk28 wrote: »
    LOL sorry for the confusion @nicsflyingcircus! I didn't want you to think I was putting down you or your hubby :)

    Most guys I talk to on the internet just want to see my boobs. None actually want to date me lololol

    Well this was in fall of 1998, and we met on a dorky online text-based roleplaying game. While I am sure he wouldn't have turned down full-frontal boobage, the internet was not quite to the point where that could be the first thing he asked, me, lol.

  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    Lasmartchika wrote: »
    Yeah, it's till you meet cuz like you said, what if it's like sssooo not the way you expected? Lol!!

    I've seen every episode of Catfish so I know what the deal is ... :s

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    nicsflyingcircus wrote: »
    tracyannk28 wrote: »
    LOL sorry for the confusion @nicsflyingcircus! I didn't want you to think I was putting down you or your hubby :)

    Most guys I talk to on the internet just want to see my boobs. None actually want to date me lololol

    Well this was in fall of 1998, and we met on a dorky online text-based roleplaying game. While I am sure he wouldn't have turned down full-frontal boobage, the internet was not quite to the point where that could be the first thing he asked, me, lol.

    Well I knew a girl who meant someone playing Halo 3. That is the thing about relationship. They can happen anywhere. I'm just saying for me online long distance dating I have tried and do not ever want to try again.

  • Lasmartchika
    Lasmartchika Posts: 3,440 Member
    edited October 2014
    tracyannk28 wrote: »
    Lasmartchika wrote: »
    Yeah, it's till you meet cuz like you said, what if it's like sssooo not the way you expected? Lol!!

    I've seen every episode of Catfish so I know what the deal is ... :s

    I know!! When I see those episodes, I'm so very thankful that didn't happen to me. But yeah, guys online think it's the best first line to ask for boobs, or show their package, like Wtf? Uh, no. Went thru that a lot too. I know how horrible it can be.

  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Lasmartchika wrote: »
    I know!! When I see those episodes, I'm so very thankful that didn't happen to me. But yeah, guys online think it's the best first line to ask for boobs, or show their package, like Wtf? Uh, no. Went thru that a lot too. I know how horrible it can be.

    What guys do you talk to that post dick pics or ask for boob shots so early into talking?

  • radiosilents
    radiosilents Posts: 223 Member
    I can speak to the dual issues here. When I first met my boyfriend in person – after knowing each other online for 2+ years and talking on the phone – I weighed more than he did, probably by 50 pounds or so. Now the reverse is true, 15 years later! We got along great in person and everything worked out... obviously. There are plenty of people out there who don't care if someone is overweight, or bigger, or whatever. And yes, there are certainly men out there who prefer women with some meat on their bones. :) See how it goes, be yourself, and just have fun! I am sure he is nervous, too.

    I'm not sure I would have said I was "dating" my boyfriend when we only knew each other online. We were friends for 2 years first, and then something shifted in the way we felt. It was on an indie record label website's chat room in the late 90s, by the way. :) Kind of esoteric.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    edited October 2014
    mariekatiex wrote: »
    Anyone in the same situation? Had anyone met someone online and they were bigger/smaller than what you think they are?

    P.s my guy likes bigger girls and weight isn't a issue to him. I'm just curious and insecure.

    I was on a dating website and met quite a few guys who didn't look like what they claimed to. One guy was 15 years older, another guy was 4 inches shorter. Don't even get me started on the 2 guys who turned out to be married....



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