I'm worried about myself

sarahrachel90

Ok, so, last week (Friday) I had the biggest binge of my life and ended up eating probably over 4,000 calories. It was my friend's birthday party and I let myself go a little too much! I permanently gained a pound, so, that wasn't too bad. But today I had a cheat day, as every Friday, and I literally just tried to make myself vomit? I keep panicking about food and planning what I'm going to eat. I'm usually calm and relaxed but recently my somewhat positive body image has gone down the toilet. I panic when my dad uses too much oil, or when I'm stuck in a position where I HAVE to go over my calories. I just have 3 more pounds to lose. I just don't want to panic or think about it too much anymore.
Any advice?
(Oh, and Happy Halloween!!)

healthygreek

Sounds like you're starting to obsess.
Maybe up your calories to maintenance for a while or take a logging break.

Raynne413

Honestly, you sound like me when I first started developing my eating disorder. I would advise you see about seeing a therapist and nutritionist that specialize in eating disorders.

I can't see your diary to know what your day to day nutrition looks like, but here is my story.

I started out losing weight by only counting calories when I was 300 lbs, and I was eating 1500 calories a day. Then I moved to only counting calories and eating 1200 calories a day. Then I plateaued and added exercise. Eventually I moved to eating around 1000 calories and working out for around 3 hours a day when I could manage it. I thought, well, if a little exercise is good, more must be better. And if 1200 calories was good, less must be better. On top of that, I was eating very little fat. I was good for about a year, and ended up losing down to around 110. Then, out of nowhere, uncontrollable binges would start. I would go crazy with anything that contained carbs and fat. And then after my binges, I would go crazy again with over restricting and over exercising to "make up" for those binges. I got desperate because I was gaining weight back, and I just couldn't get out of the cycle, so I decided to get help (with the strong urging of several friends).

I ended up seeing a nutritionist that specialized in eating disorders. She taught me several things that were a BIG help. The first thing was that I was sleep deprived because I was getting up at 4 am to work out, but going to bed around midnight (I had just started dating my boyfriend). Being sleep deprived can make you crave carbs. The second was that my body was going crazy craving carbs and fat because I was expending energy like crazy, but never replenishing. I needed to start eating more, and working out less.

It's still hard to find a balance, but as long as I listened to her AND listen to my body, I have very little issues now. The below is what I try to keep in mind, and what I suggest for anyone else having problems:

1) Make sure you get enough sleep
2) Make sure you are eating enough (especially enough fat)
3) Don't over exercise, and make sure you eat enough for you level of activity
4) DON'T try to "make up" for binges.

4daluvof_candice

Raynne413 wrote: »

I would advise you see about seeing a therapist and nutritionist that specialize in eating disorders.

^^^^^^ & Pray about it!

malibu927

You need to speak to a professional about your habits

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage

You appear to be young and probably right in the range of typical age to develop an eating disorder. Do you have a school counsellor or someone you can speak to about this? I'm glad you realize this behaviour is problematic. Please speak to someone you trust.

sofaking6

I think it's great that you are alarmed by the attempt at purging - your instincts are right on point and you should follow them to a therapist specializing in eating disorders. Don't feel like you're not 'sick' enough yet to deserve help - no point in waiting until you are, right? It's really not uncommon to follow calorie counting to an obsessive place, so it's nothing to be ashamed about, but it is concerning so I do hope you get help, and I wish you the best.

AskTracyAnnK28

OP - how old are you? You look way too young to be on this site

daynerz

A good point mentioned here is if you do binge, never be in a punishment cycle where the next day you dont eat.... that would definately be becoming a gradual disorder..

I think you need to get a better handle and not be scared to eat or that the world is over if the scale moves not in the desired direction, a lot and most times are numbers aren't spot on, water weight can throw us off for good and bad.. It does seem that you are developing too much thought and concern with yourself, wanting to purge what you eat is bulimia I believe, so don't follow through with that because it will become a habit...
So if you binge, resume the next day as if nothing happened and never beat yourself up for it, just move on, this will put you in the mental position where eating a lot is ok time to time and that you are human, and social events are wonderful and deprivation doesnt have to take place especially on these days...

You are honest girl, more power to ya, good for you. Blessings to you .