Keep Failing

tahini

I have been trying to lose weight for 10 years now. I am still overweight, very close to being obese, and now matter how much I try to motivate myself to lose weight, I still remain the same.
Sure, for one day or one week, I stick to a plan to eat healthily and exercise, but before I know it, I'm back to my old ways. I give up so easily.
I am so fed up of this cycle of repeatedly failing to lose weight. I am just not sure what to do anymore. I have tried to swim, exercise in my room to Tone It Up videos and even purchase a Wii Fit to get myself going. But the scale never wavers and I remain a size 14-16.
I know I need to lose weight for my graduation next year, as well as a massive trip abroad with friends, but I carry on eating biscuits and chocolate and sitting on the sofa watching telly.
Any suggestions on how to hold on to that motivation and run with it?

20yearsyounger

Make Telly a reward.you don't do what you are supposed to do, you can't watch anything.

uconnwinsnc1

Every day is a new day. You need to commit to it and commit to the process. This isn't something that will happen over night. This isn't something that will happen in a week. This isn't something that is going to come to you. You have to take it for yourself. Be greedy when it comes to your health.

You are going to have setbacks. We all do. I had months where I failed to reach my goals. I had nights where I sat in my room and didn't do what I was supposed to do. I had nights when I wanted to cry, and did cry, and I am a 23 year old man. Does that make me a failure? No. I moved on from it. I lost over 70 pounds and am in the best shape of my life athletically and mentally. I am this way because I wanted it. You have to want it now.

EmeraldRain

You only fail if you give up.

SnuggleSmacks

If you truly are fed up, then you're in a position to finally do something about it, so that's a good thing!

It sounds like you might have made very drastic changes in the past which were jarring and difficult and derailed your progress. Try making gradual changes that are easier to stick with. This isn't a race, it's a lifestyle change, and there's no reason to change your entire lifestyle overnight, and plenty of reason not to.

Try to pick one healthy habit and practice it for a couple of weeks. Once you have that one down pat, pick another.

For example, if you drink soda, try eliminating it. Substitute diet if you have to (there's a thread here about why you shouldn't be afraid of aspartame) or if you're still afraid of aspartame, try water, tea, water with a squirt of lemon or lime, or whatever you need that isn't full of sugar.

Or, try making a habit of a daily walk. Make it around the same time every day and enjoy it. Sunset is a beautiful time to walk. Once you've established that habit, maybe try to jog a few intervals...30 seconds here, 30 seconds there...or make the walk longer.

Or, try making your veggie servings larger, and your servings of starches and fattier meats smaller. I'm not even saying eliminate them, just make them smaller. See if you can fill up half your plate with veggies, and leave only a quarter for starches (bread, rice, potatoes, pasta, etc.) and a quarter for proteins. See if you can eat leaner proteins more often, like fish and chicken.

These little changes will add up, and they will be a lot easier to stick with than suddenly halving the number of calories you eat, and making yourself work out for an hour. That sounds daunting, and makes it easy to give up.

BeckyD1105

You only fail if you stop trying.

I agree with SnuggleSmacks - start with one thing you want to change and practice changing that. After a couple of weeks once you got into the habit with the 1st change, add something else in. Sometimes when we try to change everything at once, it's frankly just too much for us to handle and we rebel against it after a day or a week or two.

sofaking6

Just log your food. All of it and be honest, nobody has to see except for yourself. I find that my denial is my biggest enemy. It's so easy to 'round down' the numbers when your eating is mindless, but just tracking it makes it mindful instead.

TossaBeanBag

In order to keep succeeding, you have to keep getting up when you fall. Get up and keep going.

SnuggleSmacks

Another thing you can do is to stop thinking of your goal as some magical scale number. Your goal is to live a healthier lifestyle. Every change you make in a positive direction is reaching that goal. Drink more water? You've achieved your goal, that's healthier than what you were doing before. Walk more? Bingo. You've achieved your goal some more. Ate just one doughnut out of the boxes of freebies in the office? The old you would have eaten three or four...you've just lived a healthier lifestyle.

Every choice you make has the potential to be a triumph. The only possibility of failure is if you stay exactly the same.

tcunbeliever

Every day is a new day. Don't make it a week challenge or a month challenge or a year challenge - make it a today challenge. Today I will walk X number of time/distance. Today I will do X workout video. Today I will track every tiny bite. Today I will fill out my profile/update my progress/adjust my goals/etc. Long term goals are great, but if motivation is a problem, try focusing on just today. One day is less overwhelming, and those days will add up. Focus on today being better than yesterday, and if one day is less successful, start again tomorrow with no interruption of momentum. You haven't really failed until you stop trying. Today is the perfect the day to start again.

ltssharon

I am similar. I am going to try ego state therapy Google ego state therapy binge eating and read the results. kind and gentle.

yoovie

Here is the ugliest truth no one wants to believe.

Everything you want has absolutely nothing to do with motivation.

Once you accept that, and do what you have to do because you said you would, you'll make real progress.

As long as you hang around and wait to be motivated, youre going to continue having the same exact problems.

gabrielleelliott90

Only you can make yourself thin. Somehow you have to find this motivation, it has to be in there somewhere. You CAN lose weight on MFP, eating unhealthy. It's all to do with how many calories you consume. Try that for awhile and slowly add healthy foods into your diet.

ninerbuff

EmeraldRain wrote: »

You only fail if you give up.

Actually one doesn't have to give up to fail. Failure happens when correct applications aren't applied. People confuse effort with results all the time.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

TenderMoon

Whenever I read about someone's inability to stick to a diet the advice I offer is always the same. You have to want this badly enough to taste it and until you accept that fact you most likely will not succeed. You might be able to get away with doing some things half- assed in your life but weight loss isn't one of them. There is no magic, no pill, no potion and it takes serious, long term commitment. Wishing will not make it so. Losing weight is hard but the end result is worth it.

lessismoreohio

yoovie wrote: »

Here is the ugliest truth no one wants to believe.

Everything you want has absolutely nothing to do with motivation.

Once you accept that, and do what you have to do because you said you would, you'll make real progress.

As long as you hang around and wait to be motivated, youre going to continue having the same exact problems.

This is actually really good insight. This is advice I can use.

yoovie

TenderMoon wrote: »

Whenever I read about someone's inability to stick to a diet the advice I offer is always the same. You have to want this badly enough to taste it and until you accept that fact you most likely will not succeed. You might be able to get away with doing some things half- assed in your life but weight loss isn't one of them. There is no magic, no pill, no potion and it takes serious, long term commitment. Wishing will not make it so. Losing weight is hard but the end result is worth it.

I have 60%assed my way through it lolol that is the amount that's sustainable for me and it got me 100 pounds down and slow enough that I had time to balance all the dieting and cardio with the weight room - and actually reach that mark happy about how I look, as well.

arnold824

I remember I failed almost 6-7 weight loss attempts, that's each year ranging from a week to 2 months. But now I'm on my 4th year college I gathered enough motivation to pursue weight loss and I currently started on the second week of August weighing 109kg and now for the first week of November I currently weigh 96kg.

Main point is like the guy above me said, you have to want this badly that you'll sacrifice almost everything.

My main motivation was as a big guy I usually don't socialize with people and I really really am very insecure and it gets a lot on my way DAILY and I was really scared of the outside world after college so I pulled my act together.

I just tell myself daily "SHOULD I STAY THE SAME FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE OR MAKE THIS SMALL SACRIFICE OF AT LEAST HALF A YEAR SO I COULD ENJOY LIFE AND COMPLETELY TURN MYSELF INTO A BETTER PERSON". That's kinda the phrase that keeps me going everyday. I'm gonna tell you bro, once you start seeing results you'll less likely care about your munchies.

First month has got to be the hardest time during weight loss because you're completely changing your lifestyle and some people just can't cope up with the changes.

karenkasbi

Well, I lost around 50 pounds in five months solely by determination. I now added intense exercise and working on losing the last 10 pounds. What worked for me was visualization. One day, I woke up and started to believe that I can do this. So many people do it, why wouldn't you? Believe that you are a capable individual and giving up is not an option. Believe you can achieve. Picture yourself healthier everyday, reward yourself once a week by a 500 calorie food you like or shopping for clothes. (I reward myself with a cocktail) You need to love the process of losing weight, it feels amazing when you get on the scale and see there's a decrease by the end of the week. I get thrills from it :-) That's what worked for me anyway.

alazio

I highly recommend reading this article, it was an eye opener for me:
http://ronisweigh.com/2008/10/3-steps-to-a-healthier-you-step-2-stateless-dieting.html

d6melanie

Your issue might be like mine... Just don't make it 20 years like I have... visual of my issue here.

999tigger

Educate yourself. prepare and plan well. If you wnat it enough then when you come to the crunch points you will make the right choices that lead closer to target than away from it. A good plan will be sustainable and let you feel in control. Then its just a case of doing more of the same for x weeks.

You say 49lbs so @1lb a week thats 49 weeks as a rough estimate assuming weight loss was linear(it isnt) and you had a plan that enable you to lose 1lb a week. being realistic about whats involved will help you understand what you have to do to reach target.
In addition to good planning set yourself small targets and set babysteps at first.

I would also ask myself what was making this attempt ifferent from the others and think about what caused you to abandon previous attempts and what your different strategy will be this time.

TossaBeanBag

Why give up? If something isn't working, change it, learn from the results. If the results are positive, keep doing it; if they are not desired, change.