I'm obese, where do I start?

SkyeThePanda
SkyeThePanda Posts: 4
in Health and Weight Loss
I've been overweight since I was 8 years old. I've never known anything other than being "the fat girl" all my life. I have a few underlying illnesses that contribute - but I've recently been maintaining the illness much better..so I want to start my new journey to becoming a new, healthier me - which involves becoming more active and eating well.

My issue is I have severe anxiety issues - I suffer with PTSD with acute anxiety. Being around people often sends my anxiety through the roof. I'm trying to walk every day..but I get about half way to my goal - and turn around and go back home because of anxiety. I'm also working on my anxiety and walking definitely helps..but I need something else to get me more active in my home ...if thats possible. After I've got started..I want to move on to trying a gym..but I have to continue therapy to help the anxiety issues.

I've tried to research online, and I just feel lost. I get everything from "you're fat and you'll always be fat" to "stop whining" to "just diet and exercise thats its!" - It's not that easy for me. I know its hard to understand not wanting to go walk, but it's actually pretty difficult for me.

I'm trying to better myself..mentally and physically. However, I'm overwhelmed and don't know how to start. Does anyone have any kind of advise or help? It would be much appreciated. :)

Thanks so much!
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Replies

  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
    Walking is great. Find a workout dvd or youtube programme you want to do? If you have the money for a personal trainer, some come to the house and can help coach you through heightened anxiety (if you get the right one)

    I wouldn't normally talk about exercise, because you can lose weight just by calorie counting, but since I got fit I haven't had a single panic attack, I feel mentally stronger and am not prone to heightened anxiety ...it has felt almost magical getting that part in control

    As for weight loss ...what did MFP give you as a calorie count?
  • KylaDenay
    KylaDenay Posts: 1,585 Member
    The very first thing you must do is eat at a caloric deficit. Most important for weight loss. Don't make it more difficult then it really is. Utilize the app, weigh/measure everything you put in your mouth and log consistently. You will lose weight.

    Exercise is not necessary for weight loss, but only for fitness and health. Do what you can and do not push yourself to do something that you do not like to do. It takes time. Take it day by day.
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    A guide to get you started on your path to Sexypants

    Losing weight is more about diet than exercise, so getting eating habits in check is a good starting point. I've done very little exercise aside from some walking and attempts at jogging.

    Also are you seeing someone to help you through your anxiety? If not then perhaps that might be a good idea as well, because it having that much control over your day to day life may be hard for you to deal with on your own. I can only speak from what I know of my sister having similar issues, and we could only help her so much, but therapy gave her the tools to better cope.
  • CariJean64
    CariJean64 Posts: 297 Member
    Just start logging what you eat normally. You'll soon see what you need to adjust. Log every day. Start with the food. Add exercise as you feel up to it. It WILL do you a lot of good, but I lost the first 60 pounds with no exercise at all. The weight loss is what motivated me to start the exercise.
  • XX_Miss_RoseMary_XX
    XX_Miss_RoseMary_XX Posts: 274 Member
    I had a lot of anxiety about walking because i thought all those cars driving by were staring at me. Now I have my son so I sroller him and its not bad. (obviously doesnt help you). eventually I stopped caring, they really arent paying attention to you. Now I am comfortable enough to where I can start trying to jog a little.

    Also home exercise is great. I do workout dvds in my bedroom. No one is there and no one can judge.
  • SkyeThePanda
    SkyeThePanda Posts: 4
    Wow! Thanks so much for the responses.

    My MFP calorie said 1700, but I'm not positive if thats correct. I need to make sure I put the right numbers in. Right now I'm around 1500 a day - I've been logging everything personally for the past week. I'm going to definitely start utilizing the ap more. I don't have many friends (none actually) that use MFP so its a little weird to me not really having a support group. But I can still do it!

    As far as anxiety, I am seeing a therapist to help me through my dealing with PTSD. She told me the same things about my anxiety levels going down as I lose weight. So I'm very excited! I have a long-term goal of being able to deal with my anxiety on my own without using medication (not a fan..since I've been on many different medications all my life because of UC and other medical issues)

    I'm taking all of your advise to heart! Thanks so much again for the responses :)
  • PrizePopple
    PrizePopple Posts: 3,133 Member
    SkyeThePanda wrote: »
    Wow! Thanks so much for the responses.

    My MFP calorie said 1700, but I'm not positive if thats correct. I need to make sure I put the right numbers in. Right now I'm around 1500 a day - I've been logging everything personally for the past week. I'm going to definitely start utilizing the ap more. I don't have many friends (none actually) that use MFP so its a little weird to me not really having a support group. But I can still do it!

    As far as anxiety, I am seeing a therapist to help me through my dealing with PTSD. She told me the same things about my anxiety levels going down as I lose weight. So I'm very excited! I have a long-term goal of being able to deal with my anxiety on my own without using medication (not a fan..since I've been on many different medications all my life because of UC and other medical issues)

    I'm taking all of your advise to heart! Thanks so much again for the responses :)

    http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/

    You can always look there to get another opinion on where your caloric goals should be based on your BMR and TDEE.

    I have diverticular disease (diagnosed at 28, when it's normally something that is seen in geriatric patients), so I totally understand needing to control a GI disease.
  • KylaDenay
    KylaDenay Posts: 1,585 Member
    edited November 2014
    SkyeThePanda wrote: »
    Wow! Thanks so much for the responses.

    My MFP calorie said 1700, but I'm not positive if thats correct. I need to make sure I put the right numbers in. Right now I'm around 1500 a day - I've been logging everything personally for the past week. I'm going to definitely start utilizing the ap more. I don't have many friends (none actually) that use MFP so its a little weird to me not really having a support group. But I can still do it!

    As far as anxiety, I am seeing a therapist to help me through my dealing with PTSD. She told me the same things about my anxiety levels going down as I lose weight. So I'm very excited! I have a long-term goal of being able to deal with my anxiety on my own without using medication (not a fan..since I've been on many different medications all my life because of UC and other medical issues)

    I'm taking all of your advise to heart! Thanks so much again for the responses :)
    With having 105 lbs to lose and depending on your height, 1700 sounds good. Stay consistent with your logging and you will do great. Looks like you are headed down the right path.

    If you are not ready for exercise yet, then don't do any. Once you are ready to then find something that you enjoy doing.
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
    Start adding friends as you talk to people in the forums. I don't have any "real life" friends I am friends with on MFP, either. But I have dozens I've met here; some I've helped, some have helped me and others I have something in common with.

    If you really want to exercise, and I do heartily endorse it for the benefits beyond the calorie burn, search Google or Youtube for at home exercises. A lot of people here endorse programs like the 30 Day Shred or P90X but you don't have to pay for a workout if you don't want to because there are plenty on Youtube for free. You can also try things like jumping rope or good ol' calisthenics.

    I'd also suggest doing some resistance/strength training. You can do body weight exercises like pushups, planks, squats, etc. that later you can supplement with resistance bands or hand weights. Not only will you get stronger but you'll retain more lean muscle mass that would ordinarily be lost along with the fat.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    edited November 2014
    Anxiety can be very difficult to live with. You might talk to your doctor about medication along with therapy. My dh takes medication for severe anxiety and panic attacks and it has helped a lot. Sometimes therapy alone is not enough.
    Practice meditation. Push your boundaries gradually.

    Maybe get someone to walk or go to a gym with you. Sometimes it is easier to have a friend or family member close by.
    Plan your meals in advance. You can log your food so you can see where you are. I like to log my food for the whole day in advance so I can make adjustments if things don't fit in my ranges.
    Exercise at home when you can't get out. Exercise every day because exercise could help with your anxiety as well as weight loss. If you can afford it, get a treadmill or other equipment. If you can't do that then you could try workouts on You Tube for free. You could get dvd's like Walk Away the Pounds to do at home. You could just turn on music and walk briskly or dance around your house for 30 minutes.
    If you do a search on the forum for "home workout" there are many threads that have suggestions for things you can try without going out.

    Good luck to you!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
    KylaDenay wrote: »
    The very first thing you must do is eat at a caloric deficit. Most important for weight loss. Don't make it more difficult then it really is. Utilize the app, weigh/measure everything you put in your mouth and log consistently. You will lose weight.

    Exercise is not necessary for weight loss, but only for fitness and health. Do what you can and do not push yourself to do something that you do not like to do. It takes time. Take it day by day.

    I agree with this 100%.

    Skye,

    If you choose to exercise, just keep doing what you doing. Take baby steps. Mark the point in your mind where you stop walking this time, and the next time see if you can go a little further. If you can, fine, and if you can't that's fine too. Just keep doing what you want to do.

    Always be patient, tolerant, and kind with yourself. :)
  • 89Madeline
    89Madeline Posts: 205 Member
    Well done on wanting to make a difference in your own life :) I promise you, it will be worth it. Some very basic tips:

    - Get a scale for the kitchen. Really, otherwise the app is of no use to you.
    - Be honest to yourself, and weigh everything you eat. This seems like such a big task (it is in the beginning) but you'll get better at it and you'll learn what foods are too high in fat/sugar and which are rich in protein, fiber etc. Log everything. Set yourself a goal to do it for one week and you'll learn a lot about your own eating habits.
    - Stop all sodas and juices, switch to water. Might sound boring, I looooved diet coke and juices, but I stopped and it makes such a difference. for the rest, keep eating everything but in moderation (but do try to stay away from very processed foods like sugary candies, junk food etc). If you like sodas too much, keep drinking them but don't forget to log! You'll be surprised how much calories you "waste" on something small like a drink :)

    Feel free to add me if you want. I was 20 kg overweight for a couple of years (not since I was a kid though), and I struggled with dieting for quite some time, but I'm almost at my goal weight now. I'd be happy to help you in any way!
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    edited November 2014
    You've gotten great advice so far. I'd say one thing that is extremely helpful is just believing that you can lose weight, that this works, because it does. When I first started (years ago, since this was my second time losing lots of weight), I really didn't believe I could lose weight, and decided that my first focus would be getting healthier and more fit (which I could control), and try to have faith that the pounds would eventually come off. And of course they do. So I'd try not to overthink it or worry too much about all the numerous different things you find on the internet.

    If believing it will work is something hard for you, as it was for me, I'll just say it will come, as you continue with this process, but maybe think about it as making small changes that are good for you in and of themselves.

    1700 definitely should work for now, but so should 1500 if you feel good on that. Exercise isn't necessary, but is a great thing to do both for fitness and for confidence overall. If you can't go as far as you planned because of your anxiety, you are still making progress and that's great. Have you tried any DVD workouts like the Leslie Sansone walking ones? I believe there's a whole bunch on Fitness Blender too, where you can go through the internet, although I haven't tried those.
  • Great_Mazinga
    Great_Mazinga Posts: 214 Member
    SkyPanda, You can do it. I've lost about as much as your goal, and I've have MFP friends who've lost as much as you probably weigh. It can be done. You will find that in addition to the physical wellness you'll experience, your emotional well being will also improve. Mine has greatly, and I'm "only" about 55% way to my ultimate goal. I can't wait to see what it's like when I "get there".

    I was always the "fat kid" growing up, also. We're not going to be that anymore.
  • StaciMarie1974
    StaciMarie1974 Posts: 4,138 Member
    There is much you can do inside your home - try looking for Leslie Sansone 'walking' videos on Youtube. Walking/running in place, active video games, other workout videos. LIving in the day of Youtube means you can try something out before investing $ in a DVD series!
  • SkyeThePanda
    SkyeThePanda Posts: 4
    I'm checking out these Leslie Sansone walking videos now!

    I am so thankful for all this great advise! Overwhelmed by the niceness :) It's pretty hard for me to admit I'm obese, and talking about it can be a bit embarrassing - but thank you all so much for not being rude (I've experienced that so much on other forums I've tried) I'm super excited to not let myself be the fat girl anymore!
  • RebeccaMaunder
    RebeccaMaunder Posts: 171 Member
    I understand having anxiety and PTSD. There is hope I have managed to go to a gym (though I need a buddy to go with me). Walking is good even if it is just a short distance. The other thing that I find I do for exercise is either using the wii fit or exercise videos at home. I like Walk Away the Pounds, or something Zumba related. Making sure that you are watching what you are eating and staying within or under your calories is really going to help no matter what. I think it is commendable that you are ready to take this journey on. If you need a buddy feel free to add me.

    Best of luck
  • Annabear3
    Annabear3 Posts: 92 Member
    You can do a lot at home. I do Zumba at home and some online videos I've found on Pinterest. Zumba is a lot of fun because it's basically dancing, but you get a great workout. Focusing on eating right is what will help you lose the weight, but the exercise will make you feel better. I also have anxiety issues, but have found my fitness routines have helped me some. If you have someone to walk with, I think it helps you feel more comfortable. I don't like walking alone as much as going with my husband or my kids. Good luck! You can totally do this!!
  • amcook4
    amcook4 Posts: 561 Member
    First thing is get your diet under control. Start weighing & logging your food and trying to make better choices. One you see what you are putting in your mouth, it is generally pretty easy to eat less and eat better. (For me it was a lot of wait,. why did I eat that much pasta when I was already full?)

    As for exercise, walking is the easiest, it requires nothing other than your time & some good shoes. If you want to do more than walking, or have anxiety about being outside for others to see you, YouTube is full of workout videos for every ability.

    I started at 325, and I was always the fat kid too. I don't even know what I will look like at a healthy weight! Add me if you want, I'm on here a lot.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 10,089 Member
    I was obese when I started on MFP, and I lost the first 25+ pounds (currently 45 pounds down from SW--start weight) focusing on the food intake, making sure I was at a deficit. The only exercise I did at that point was walking and, when the weather was bad or I didn't get home from work until after dark, I would turn on music and dance crazy in my living room. That's something you can do at home, even without a video. The moves don't matter, so long as you're putting energy into it. (I also did a little yoga and Pilates at home, and you can find videos online or at the library for those, if it interests you. They'll help in overall fitness, but probably won't burn a lot of calories, especially if you're new to them.)
  • justalittlecrazy
    justalittlecrazy Posts: 88 Member
    Do you have a Wii? You might try Walk It Out. Basically, you earn points by walking to the beat of the music. You use the points to build the town/countryside/city, make rainbows, get more songs, etc. If you are of a competitive nature (even against yourself) it might be a great start for you.
  • romachel1978
    romachel1978 Posts: 36 Member
    As everyone mentioned, the calorie deficit is the first thing to work on. As someone who also has anxiety (and depression) working out does help. I bought a Weight Watcher walk at home DVD and love it !
  • harmar21
    harmar21 Posts: 215 Member
    I just started 2 months ago, but down 28lbs. There are several obstacles I had to overcome. First wanting to change. Now this doesn't mean "oh I want to be a normal weight" because obviously I always wanted that, but I didn't want to make the sacrifices.
    Going to have to put mind over matter and just eat less.
    I also think it is important to not change too much at once. For the first 2-3 weeks I didn't do any exercise as I wanted to 100% focus on diet and making sure I am eating right (believe me it takes a while to figure this out. I made a lot of mistakes my first couple weeks)
    Once I got that sorted out, I started adding in light exercise... Just 25 minutes of walking 2-3 times a week. This was more to get used to setting aside some time of the week for exercising more than the actual exercising. I quickly increased the frequency and time over the course of the next month. I am now doing 50-70 minutes 4-5 times per week. Again this goal isn't so much for the actual exercise as it is for setting aside time out of my day for actual exercise as the eventual goal in the near future (probably once snow and ice start making it hard to walk outside) is to join the gym.

    Also try various things if what you start out with doesn't work for you. I tried pure calorie counting in the past, and while it works for many people it didn't work for me since I was always starving. Did I lose weight? Sure.. but hated every second of it due to my hunger. So I researched different things and went with low carb which works for me. Anyways this isn't to say you should try low carb, this is just to say if you find what you are doing isn't working for you (and put in an honest effort of 2 weeks) try something else. I went through 2-3 different things before settling on keto which I have stuck with.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    Get some therapy and try to remember that most people are too wrapped up in themselves to care about you and your fat. You're blowing that way out of proportion.

    Also, remember that the very few people who might think or say something mean are doing that because they have their own mental problems. They're struggling and miserable and the nastiness is way more about them than you. So, go outside and enjoy. :)
  • elphie754
    elphie754 Posts: 7,574 Member
    Kalikel wrote: »
    Get some therapy and try to remember that most people are too wrapped up in themselves to care about you and your fat. You're blowing that way out of proportion.

    Also, remember that the very few people who might think or say something mean are doing that because they have their own mental problems. They're struggling and miserable and the nastiness is way more about them than you. So, go outside and enjoy. :)

    When anxiety is a problem, just going out and "enjoying", is not always that easy.

    OP- I don't have anxiety (thankfully because I see how hard it is on people who do) but I also struggle with being self conscious if I'm exercising in public. I am also bipolar which plays into that a bit.I always thought that people would think "oh, she's fat what good is the exercise going to do?" Or that they would make fun of how out of shape I am. What helped me, and might be somewhat helpful to you, is before I went out side I kept telling myself "everyone starts somewhere" and that down the road I will be glad I started when I did.

    I also am taking things in baby steps. I started out only being able to walk 8 minutes before my back and ankles killed. So I stayed with the 7 minutes until I could do it with no pain. I then went to 10 and did that until no pain/shortness of breath. Everytime I felt comfortable I added a few minutes. It didnt seem like much at first but it has certainly made progress. Went I started my new job 2 months ago, I was ready to collapse if I had to climb 4 floors (I work in ems and not all buildings have elevators). Today I was able to go up 5 flights with no pain. I was slightly short of breath but it is a marked improvement. I take each day as it comes and not punish myself for slip ups.

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you'd like. I love sharing tips Ive found helpful as well as learn what other people find helpful.

    You can do this!
  • lbrown1428
    lbrown1428 Posts: 116 Member
    I would suggest beach body workouts from home. I have done them and lI've them. If you like a lot of music and something to get you pumped up try Turbo Fire. They have doffered people doing different moves during the workout for beginners and people that don't need the modifications.
  • lbrown1428
    lbrown1428 Posts: 116 Member
    *different
  • Cathalain
    Cathalain Posts: 424 Member
    edited November 2014
    elphie754 wrote: »
    Kalikel wrote: »
    When anxiety is a problem, just going out and "enjoying", is not always that easy.

    Agreed. When I started out, I was so scared to try that I just "knew" everyone was going to laugh at me, because, well... hey, everyone already was, right?

    I was diagnosed with general anxiety PLUS social anxiety (I still have a touch of the latter, but I deal with it), so I know what that's like!

    One thing that might help is to lose yourself in music. I put on the headphones (and I make sure they're GOOD ones so I can't hear a damned thing), a pair of sunglasses, and I'm ready. You can't see how scared I am and I can't hear you complain - win-win! :smiley:

    Anyway, you don't have to start out with exercise, but walking is good if you're just beginning. I started out at 343 pounds - now down to 233 (struggling a bit, but hey, it's not an overnight process) and I've elevated from puffing my way up a hill (and feeling like I'm dying) to 60 minutes of hard exercise, 3 times a week. It takes time, but it's completely doable.

    Baby steps. :smile:



  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    There are so many workouts on DVD, youtube, gaming consoles that you can do at home...whatever you think you'd enjoy, you'll be able to find it out there :)
  • SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage
    SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage Posts: 2,668 Member
    +1 for exercise and weight loss helping with the anxiety. It's been very effective for me. I haven't taken an Ativan in months.

    Walking is great. If you get a couple of blocks and have to turn around and go home because you're freaking out and about to have an attack, that's okay. Try to make it further the next day. Set small goals such as making it to the end of the block, then another block the next day, etc. You'll feel great when you reach those mini-goals. At some point you will go for days without even thinking about your anxiety. It's unbelievably freeing.

    There are a ton of at-home workout DVDs. Your local library should have some for you to try if you're not yet sure what you would like.

    Good luck!

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