Kids at the gym

MikeInAZ

My gym has an age restriction of 16 and older. However, I always see some very young kids running around using the equipment. It usually doesn't bother me. There has been this little girl at my gym working out lately. When I say little I mean like 11 or 12. She seems to know what she's doing and is walking around like she owns the place.

Last night she's using a machine and in between sets, she's doing shoulders lifts with an "ez curl" barbell. When she finishes her set of shoulders she drops the bar from chest height. Over and over I watched her. The bar is bouncing all over the place, it's hitting the machines, it's rolling in the isle.

Finally, I went up to her and said, hey don't slam your weights. It's bad etiquette and not safe. She looks at me kinda funny and says, "oh ahhh sorry" and walks away. A few minutes later a man (her dad) walks up to me and starts yelling at me. Says I was harassing his daughter, and she's just a kid, and don't ever talk to her again.

I told him that what she's doing isn't safe for me or the gym and that she shouldn't be slamming her weights around. He says "you let me worry about her". I thought the guy was gonna punch me.

I'm going to go back in the day when the owner is around and talk to him about this. I have no problem with a kid working out around me. But if they're goofing off, making distractions, not being safe, etc, they don't belong there. This is the same gym who told me that my 11 year old daughter couldn't take the Zumba Class with my wife. When I've seen many young kids in that class before.

What would you have done?

jemhh

I would have talked to a gym employee first. I'd have no problem with you telling my kid not to do thst (though she wouldn't have been there to begin with) but enough people are uber protective of their kids that I avoid correcting them directly.

20yearsyounger

You did the right thing. You ignored it to the point that it was not safe. Guy was trying to protect his daughter so understand his point of view but wrong about gym etiquette.

jorbjorb

i wish i worked out when i was 12 haha

dlvuyovich

You did the right thing, addressed the problem in an appropriate manner and now you should talk to management.

I coach highschool girls so trust me, I understand the uber protectiveness (to a point) but when there is a dangerous situation, waiting for a parent to step in so you don't "cross a line" is not in the best interest of anyone. If I waited for parents to address everything from what happens at practice to what I hear about what goes on outside, over half my kids would be in the hospital or in jail.

Obviously this kid is not getting the proper gym etiquette from her parent so good on you for giving it a shot. His reaction is his to deal with.

212019156

You did the right thing. A 12 year should not be lifting weights unsupervised.

Asheea

I agree with you that it was unsafe. I don't like confrontation so I would've asked to see the manager and told him about the situation. It's why he gets paid the big bucks. Then I would've moved away from her and continued my workout.

KANGOOJUMPS

imagine what she will be like when she hits 20 and up, good for her,,, and you,,,i would have told her and I certainly would have punched the DAD out too., but that's me,,, your a good person and that's what counts.

malibu927

There's a good reason why my gym has its own childcare

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Lauren8239

What a bad dad. First of all she's under age, and he's not even supervising her. If the little girl got hurt, I bet her dad would be suing the gym. Yes, you did the right thing, and also talking to gym management is the right thing to do.

knitapeace

Clearly this is exactly why they have, and should enforce, the 16 and older rule. Children who are too young to be addressed directly by grownups shouldn't be working out in adult gyms.

mitch16

I am a rule follower but I also hate confrontation. The pre-pubescent set really shouldn't be lifting weights, much less unsupervised. I would have notified one of the trainers on duty or the desk staff instead of confronting the girl directly, but that's just me. Her dad was definitely out of line.

Azdak

Unfortunately, seemingly perfectly normal people can become instant psychopaths when their kids are involved. To me it just shows how empty their own lives are.

Kalikel

Grown men should not be approaching young girls they don't know and initiating conversations with them for any reason, really. If you continue to approach young girls, I assure you that more dads will show up. That's what dads do. Aside from the fact that it isn't your job to correct other people's children, it is just kind of creepy.

It's also not your job to protect the gym. If you feel that things are out of control and want action taken about what is happening in the gym, talk to the management there, tell them what is displeasing you and ask for help.

cwolfman13

I would have probably found a gym employee/trainer and let them deal with it.

SarcasmIsMyLoveLanguage

If her parent feels she is old enough to be in the gym working out, she is old enough to observe the rules and etiquette. I think you did the right thing.

Alluminati

You shouldn't have talked to or approached the kid at all. You should've went straight to management. Sorry, but that's the world we live in these days.

dbmata

MikeInAZ wrote: »

What would you have done?

I'd have told the kid to knock it off. Then, gone over to one of the gym employees, pointed her out, and asked if this was a gym, or a child's daycare. I'd also press the damn issue until the kid and her parent was ejected.

Now, angry poppa? I'd have told him one thing, and asked him another. "Go *kitten* in your hat, and do you want to eat your teeth?" I'm not going to take some idiot yelling at me, particularly when he's in the wrong. If he needs to eat a 15# dumbbell, so be it.

I've seen an influx of kids lately at my gym. If it gets too much worse, I'm going to make a federal case of it. I don't care so much in the machines section, as I think I'd die laughing if I saw one shoot off a treadmill, but they've been getting too close to the free weights section, and their bodies are very squishy. I don't want my section closed because one of them has to be hosed off the deck.

JeffseekingV

BinkyBonk wrote: »

If her parent feels she is old enough to be in the gym working out, she is old enough to observe the rules and etiquette. I think you did the right thing.

That's how I feel too. But in reality because she was a girl and he's a man, he should have talked to management. I think the father was freaked that a grown man approached her daughter. But if she's working out in the weight room, not sure how the father thinks it wouldn't happen.

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AliceDark

You did the right thing, although I'm not surprised that the dad reacted the way he did (because people are like that now, unfortunately.) If your child isn't old enough to interact with adults, you shouldn't leave them alone in adult places. Whether or not the dad wants to admit it, she's causing a safety issue for herself and the people around her. I'd talk to the gym management and ask them to make sure she's supervised by her father if she's going to be allowed in.

fannyfrost

What probably happened was the little girl got upset being corrected and cried to her daddy, who then of course got all "daddy's little girl" but the reality is that that if he was protective he should be spotting her. If she really is like only 12yo and lifting, even if she knows what she is doing she can easily get hurt.

Not only that the reality is that at 12 the growth plates have not yet closed for most kids. So when they lift they are actually at increased risk for injury. My daughter wanted to lift at that age and the Dr told her no because of the growth plates not being closed yet. Body weight exercises are better at that age. On top of that female hormones actually act as a lubricant to loosen joints, young girls have excess of these hormones, which is why teen girls have higher risk for knee injuries playing sports than boys.

Don't get me wrong, I am all for sports, strength training and lifting, but the kids are at an increased risk for dislocations and tears because their bodies are still growing. Which means that parent was really in the wrong for not watching her. On top of that there are creeps at gyms, my girlfriend has been followed out to her car, when my duaghter was a teen I would not have left her alone in a gym just for that.

The dad's reaction, I get, but seriously then why is the kid alone.

blc1971

I don't see a problem with what you did. My child wouldn't be using weights unsupervised at that age, but if they were and I happened to step away when the kid did something unsafe, I don't have a problem with another adult telling them to be careful. You didn't grab her, yell at her, or confront her in an inappropriate way. I think we've gone too far the wrong direction when our kids can't take a little mild correction/instruction from another adult. Now, if you had grabbed my kid, yelled at him/her, or gotten in their face then yeah, I'm going to jump your butt. If she can't take some constructive help then she doesn't need to be in the gym at all. Daddy needs to lay off the 'roids too!!

dbmata

fannyfrost wrote: »

Not only that the reality is that at 12 the growth plates have not yet closed for most kids. So when they lift they are actually at increased risk for injury. My daughter wanted to lift at that age and the Dr told her no because of the growth plates not being closed yet. Body weight exercises are better at that age. On top of that female hormones actually act as a lubricant to loosen joints, young girls have excess of these hormones, which is why teen girls have higher risk for knee injuries playing sports than boys.

There was a thread about this recently. Clif's: There is not any research showing kids shouldn't lift. Nor is there data showing increased risk for injury, particularly compared to other sports.

212019156

There is nothing wrong with a 12 year old lifting weights. The growth plate issue is a myth. I think the issue here is a dad who is a jerk and a kid who needs supervision.

mustgetmuscles1

dbmata wrote: »

fannyfrost wrote: »

Not only that the reality is that at 12 the growth plates have not yet closed for most kids. So when they lift they are actually at increased risk for injury. My daughter wanted to lift at that age and the Dr told her no because of the growth plates not being closed yet. Body weight exercises are better at that age. On top of that female hormones actually act as a lubricant to loosen joints, young girls have excess of these hormones, which is why teen girls have higher risk for knee injuries playing sports than boys.

There was a thread about this recently. Clif's: There is not any research showing kids shouldn't lift. Nor is there data showing increased risk for injury, particularly compared to other sports.

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1136184/weightlifting-for-children/p1

Growth plate damage can happen with any sport, activity and accident but I have not seen anything that shows weightlifting or strength training has a higher risk.

They all stress caution, education and supervision though. Which is just common sense in my opinion.

dbmata

Thanks for posting that link, a search wasn't showing it for me, then I just ragequit the search func.

LiftAndBalance

blc1971 wrote: »

I don't see a problem with what you did. My child wouldn't be using weights unsupervised at that age, but if they were and I happened to step away when the kid did something unsafe, I don't have a problem with another adult telling them to be careful. You didn't grab her, yell at her, or confront her in an inappropriate way. I think we've gone too far the wrong direction when our kids can't take a little mild correction/instruction from another adult. Now, if you had grabbed my kid, yelled at him/her, or gotten in their face then yeah, I'm going to jump your butt. If she can't take some constructive help then she doesn't need to be in the gym at all. Daddy needs to lay off the 'roids too!!

This! You did the right thing and, frankly, I'm terrified by the level of implied generalising accusations against men in this thread.

dbmata

scrrrrd.

skippygirlsmom

212019156 wrote: »

You did the right thing. A 12 year should not be lifting weights unsupervised.

^^^ this

As the mom of a 14 year old girl, I think you did the right thing. If my daughter came and told me that you corrected her I would have no issue with that, unless you went off on her or cursed at her, then we would have a problem. I have no qualms with people correcting my kid as long as it's deserved and done with respect.