How can I tell my co worker to back off?

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2

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  • simplydelish2
    simplydelish2 Posts: 726 Member
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    You say you aren't friends so you don't know why she cares. My questions is why do you care? Her opinion is none of your business. Unless she is your boss, or you are not following company dress code, let it be!
  • RoseyDgirl
    RoseyDgirl Posts: 306 Member
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    must really sukk to be ugly...
  • joflo723
    joflo723 Posts: 119 Member
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    RoseyDgirl wrote: »
    how about give her attitude back- I don't want to waste my money on my looks because if I did; you'd have no one paying attention to you.
    -
    - Or, If I spent all my money on the *kitten* that folks put on their faces, there'd be none left for the ones who really need it...
    -
    - Or ... I could buy all that stuff, but then I'd have no money for my drug and alcohol addictions.
    -
    - :D

    Screw every other suggestion. This wins.
  • FlashMorehouse
    FlashMorehouse Posts: 138 Member
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    Telton66 wrote: »
    I work in nursing home and there is girl at my job that is always on my case about my dress code and my appearance when we work together .She seems like a high maintenance women since she always put effort into her appearance by wearing make up and wear nice close etc which is her business.

    However,i am the opposite. I don't really to much effort into my appearance .I will make sure I look presentable for work and take a shower ofcourse but I don't wear make up or go exra mile to look sexy at work if you know what I mean.I just don't care

    Now the problem is this girl is always on my case telling me that I am beautiful and young and I shouldn't so rough on myself and try to look good. She always criticize me on how my hair is on that day and last time she got on my case because the purse that I had was old and worn out so she was like with all the money you make ,why have a purse like that etc. When she sees me she looks at me up and down and always have something to say.

    Its starting to get on my nerves and I am million seconds to snap. We are not even friends outside work so I don't know why she cares. I am there to work and not to get anyone approval or attract anyone so how can I tell her to back off and mind her own business without coming off as rude?

    Use your big girl words and tell her you are not interested in her opinion.

  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
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    simplydelish2 wrote: »
    You say you aren't friends so you don't know why she cares. My questions is why do you care? Her opinion is none of your business. Unless she is your boss, or you are not following company dress code, let it be!

    I would think it's unnerving to have someone looking you up and down and criticizing you everyday you are at work. We are all entitled to a safe, harrassment-free workplace. This woman is way out of line, especially since the OP has stated they aren't friends.
  • Tanie98
    Tanie98 Posts: 675 Member
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    astrose00 wrote: »
    simplydelish2 wrote: »
    You say you aren't friends so you don't know why she cares. My questions is why do you care? Her opinion is none of your business. Unless she is your boss, or you are not following company dress code, let it be!

    I would think it's unnerving to have someone looking you up and down and criticizing you everyday you are at work. We are all entitled to a safe, harrassment-free workplace. This woman is way out of line, especially since the OP has stated they aren't friends.


    This, I am sure Op is not there to make friends or impress anyone. It is none of her business what OP does with appearance or anything regarding her personal life.She should keep her opinion to herself because at the end of the day how OP looks won't effect her co worker life in any way
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    Just give her a black eye. It will give her something else to focus on.
  • CorlissaEats
    CorlissaEats Posts: 493 Member
    edited November 2014
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    If you've already asked her to stop making those comments, then the next step is to pull her aside into a private room where the door can close and tell her point blank that her comments are inappropriate and that your next step if they don't stop is to talk to HR.

    I had to do it once with a co-worker who kept teasing me and didn't understand that my continued requests for them to stop weren't playing along. I wasn't protesting because I was embarrassed by the comments but because they were crossing a line. Its tough. It's a little awkward after for a while, but if you were really friendly at work and both adults then you can move past it and still be friendly. I think the big thing is to take ownership and use "I" language. Avoid placing blame or backing them into a defensive corner. Use words like "I feel like...when you..."
  • journalistjen
    journalistjen Posts: 265 Member
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    "I dress like this just to hear your comments every day." Roll eyes and walk away.
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
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    I would never stoop to insults at work, regardless of what was said to me. The OP should definitely take the high road and go through the proper channels. It's easy to say that she should tell the woman off or beat her up... but that will result in her being FIRED and/or ARRESTED!
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
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    Telton66 wrote: »
    Its starting to get on my nerves and I am million seconds to snap. We are not even friends outside work so I don't know why she cares. I am there to work and not to get anyone approval or attract anyone so how can I tell her to back off and mind her own business without coming off as rude?

    It's very sweet of you to want to knuckle under and be polite to someone being intrusive, but probably the best response is, "I don't really want this to become an HR matter, so let's drop this subject. I will only ever discuss this matter again with my supervisor."

  • raysputin
    raysputin Posts: 142 Member
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    She is insecure and lacking in self-esteem and is a product of the "beautyism" propaganda that we are all subjected to by companies whose business is selling industrial by-products disguised as beauty enhancers. She does not have the intellectual wherewithal and strength of personality to see through the propaganda and stand on her own. You should feel sorry for her but she is a workplace bully and needs to be treated as such. She gets her bullying rewards from your discomfort and responses.

    For industrial relations purposes you need to tell her once that you find her comments to be undesirable and ask her politely to stop. Keep solely to the facts of the matter. Do this in front of a witness and record the details in a diary.

    Once you have informed her, treat any subsequent comments with aloofness and silent contempt. This will rob her of her reward and should see a reduction or stopping of the behaviour. If she persists, diarise all subsequent incidents and, after the diary has a number of recorded incidents, take your witness, the diary and the offender to your supervisor.
  • Telton66
    Telton66 Posts: 74
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    simplydelish2 wrote: »
    You say you aren't friends so you don't know why she cares. My questions is why do you care? Her opinion is none of your business. Unless she is your boss, or you are not following company dress code, let it be!

    Her opinion would be none of my business if she keeps it to herself.but since she always bring it to my attention then it is my business. I am sure you woudnt appriciate anyone critizing your dress code all the time at work so stfu, you don't know what you are talking about

  • Lestan48
    Lestan48 Posts: 489 Member
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    Some people never know when to stop commenting. tell her to leave you alone
  • abuck_13
    abuck_13 Posts: 382 Member
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    Tanie98 wrote: »
    "[Coworker], I appreciate that you're trying to help, but how I dress for work is not reflective of what I do on my free time. If our supervisors express a problem with my appearance, I'll address it. Otherwise, I'd like to just focus on what we're here to do. Thanks."

    I'd make a couple of small changes:

    How I dress for work is not reflective of what I do on my free time. If our supervisors express a problem with my appearance, I'll address it. Otherwise, I'd like to just focus on what we're here to do. If you wish to continue this behavior, we can discuss your harassment of me with HR.
  • Cortneyrenee04
    Cortneyrenee04 Posts: 1,117 Member
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    That would be really hard for me. Tempting to look HER up and down and say something about her appearance... But I would just tell her to please stop with all the comments and I she can't, let your supervisor know.

    I hope things get better for you :)
  • slomo22
    slomo22 Posts: 125 Member
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    Call her muff cabbage then kick her in the vagina
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    How do you dress up to work in a nursing home? You wear scrubs? You don't need a daily make over to give baths and change diapers.
  • Telton66
    Telton66 Posts: 74
    edited January 2015
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    AsaThorsWoman wrote: »
    How do you dress up to work in a nursing home? You wear scrubs? You don't need a daily make over to give baths and change diapers.
    we wear scrubs


  • kcerrillo
    kcerrillo Posts: 103 Member
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    I've worked a a nursing home in the past and who do u have to impress? The 90 year old man while u help him use the bathroom? I want to punch her for u lol I'm sorry she's like that that is awful!!!!

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