Story of a short girl and her restaurant lover boyfriend.

Gogo_Zowie

Hello there!

I've just started on MFP and would like to share my personal story.
I'm 5'1- 135 pounds. I'm a foodie and I love to discover new food (big problem!)

I'm doing aqua spinning once a week and I always walk about 2KM per day. I'm currently on a plateau between 135-130 pounds. I'm stuck and cannot loose weight.

My (adorable) boyfriend is a restaurant lover. Even though we have nice healthy food at home, he always want to go eat out. All.the.time.

Usually, I (try!) to go for a salad with dressing on the side. But he's always sad that I'm not joining him for a nice meal (ex: steak). And since I'm a foodie, it's difficult to always eat salad lol!

He's the lucky type of person and got amazing genes. He eats fast-food all the time ( he's 32) and doesn't gain any weight...and he's lazy, so no exercice what so ever.

Many time I told him that I wish to loose weight, so I prefer not to eat out.
Anybody have the same situation? How do you tell your significant other that even though eating out is nice....is not so nice for the diet lol!

TimothyFish

"It isn't you; it's me. I don't think this is going to work out."

segacs

Gogo_Zowie wrote: »

Hello there!

I've just started on MFP and would like to share my personal story.
I'm 5'1- 135 pounds. I'm a foodie and I love to discover new food (big problem!)

You sound like me, except I'm 15 pounds heavier.

The solution isn't to give up restaurants. And it's certainly not to give up your boyfriend.

It's just recognizing that the standard portion size at a restaurant is geared towards an average sized *man*. Actually, the standard portion size in most US restaurants is much larger than that, but you get the idea.

By all means, keep on going to restaurants and trying new foods! Just, eat less of what's on your plate.

Get comfortable sending half of it back with a smile, and when the waiter asks, just say "thanks very much, it was delicious, just too much for me!" Better in the trash than on your hips.

If you feel really guilty about it, take home half in a doggie bag and eat it the next day. I find I rarely do this, though, since re-heated restaurant food usually loses its appeal by the next day.

Or, give half your food to your boyfriend. Then he can enjoy it and so can you.

SonicDeathMonkey80

You deserve better

StaciMarie1974

I love to eat out. So much easier, having someone else do the work of prep AND cleanup. Usually I have to pay though so that limits me.

Anyhow its not hard to eat out and still eat the right amount per day. Takes a little planning. Avoid creamy sauces, glazes, etc. Ask that your veggies be steamed without butter. Have a small steak - depending on size and type it may be 200-300 calories for the meat but you can load up on veggies and have a reasonable portion of a starchy side and still be 500-600 for the meal easily. Or fish, chicken, pork, etc. on the entree.

sjaplo

I knew we were having take out fish and chips for dinner last night so I budgeted for it during the day. I was freaking starving as I had lifted the day before, but man those fish and chips were good!

LazyFoodie

Relationships are all about compromises. Go out sometimes and stay home some other times. You should not always have to go out just bc your bf wants to. Plus if you are kind enough to keep him company while he eats the foods he enjoys, why does he care if you eat a salad? Tell him how important losing weight is for you. A bf should help, support, and cheer you on in your goals. If losing weight is one of them then maybe he needs to give up a few nights out.

Arekha

Same situation here, I'm very petite and my husband (and I ) love to eat out. But, if you put some thought into what you are ordering, and make to go boxes your best friend, its not that bad.

IMO, You should incorporate what you like to do for the whole weight loss thing to be sustainable

SonicDeathMonkey80

nancy274 wrote: »

Relationships are all about compromises. Go out sometimes and stay home some other times. You should not always have to go out just bc your bf wants to. Plus if you are kind enough to keep him company while he eats the foods he enjoys, why does he care if you eat a salad? Tell him how important losing weight is for you. A bf should help, support, and cheer you on in your goals. If losing weight is one of them then maybe he needs to give up a few nights out.

It starts with giving up a few nights out...

segacs

Arekha wrote: »

IMO, You should incorporate what you like to do for the whole weight loss thing to be sustainable

This +1000. So much this.

Look, lots of people give up eating at restaurants because of the control thing. Restaurant food isn't inherently less healthy than home-cooked food, but it's certainly easier to track and log home cooked food because you can measure and weigh each ingredient yourself.

So, decide what works for you. Maybe it's giving up restaurants for a 3-4 week period while you get more familiar with calorie values and portion sizes, and then gradually reintroducing them back to former levels as you get more comfortable estimating restaurant food. Remember that if your tracking is off, you'll see it in weight gain or loss, so you can always adjust.

esjones12

There are tons of tricks to eating out from getting sauces on the side, grilled not fried, asking for half portions, etc. If you are eating at chains you can figure out what you want to eat earlier in the day and budget in the calories. Depending on what kind of places you are eating out at, it will make weight loss extra hard if you are going out 4-6 times a week. At least for me it would.

As for the boyfriend part - I'm certainly no expert in relationships - but he should definitely support your goals. Through my weight loss journey I have lost touch with friends who only ever wanted to go out and get drunk because that no longer fits my lifestyle. Hopefully you can find a happy medium between eating out and keeping your boyfriend! Maybe staying in and cooking/exploring healthier food options would be a way to spend time together.

Best of luck!

kimtober

I really like eating out too. I usually try to check out the nutrition info before I go and have a plan when I get there. I haven't found it too difficult get what I want and still stay within my calories, but sometimes that means eating a very small amount of the high calorie foods. Just getting water instead of another beverage makes a big difference too. I also sometimes try to convince my husband to split something with me and he just gets a side salad or soup if he thinks it won't be enough for him. Oh, and my favorite thing to do is get kids meals, but you really have to have no shame to order a kids meal because the server will probably give you a weird look.

kmack29_

my boyfriend (who is not "dieting") and i are both foodies as well. we still eat out, but we have started cooking together at home a lot as well! make it fun! find cool and exciting recipes online that you can enjoy making AND eating together! turn it into the ultimate date night! we tend to plan ahead, grocery shop together, put on some music, have a glass of wine (which is why the planning ahead is key! make sure you have room!) and cook together! restaurant quality in the comfort of our own home! trying new things while also being in control of how it is cooked. once i convinced my partner on how fun AND tasty it is we now cook together more than we go out

Francl27

Well in a lot of places, the steak will be less calories than the salad, to be honest. Just have some veggies on the side and don't go for the 12oz steak.

For me the hard part of eating out is not having dessert, and it's what takes me over every single time. And I rarely eat salads, but there are usually other options.

marinabreeze

Francl27 wrote: »

Well in a lot of places, the steak will be less calories than the salad, to be honest. Just have some veggies on the side and don't go for the 12oz steak.

^^This.

Salads at restaurants can be really packed in with calories. Besides, there are other options that can be less calorie-laden, like steak (sometimes - skip the toppings and get smaller and better quality cuts), fish/seafood, etc., and getting steamed veggies or other low-calorie side options can lower the calorie intake at a restaurant meal. Tracking helps a lot in learning what kinds of foods to eat more or less of, even at restaurants.

If you are really wanting to eat in more, rather than feeling your *have to* because you're working on weight loss, maybe you and your boyfriend can compromise. You can cut down on nights/week eating out. That'll make those times you do go out to eat more special, and you can eat in more often than you have been.

galprincess

my fiancé is a chef and he is nothing like that although id eat steak nothing wrong with it and is actually lower calorie than a lot of salad dressings!!!!
I will say im wanting a salad he will say that's fine I will have something with side salad and will make a huge salad and portion yours out and add a bit for mine and then you can have rest tomorrow isn't that what supportive people who love you do?

yuiconnor

Tip for restraurant:
when you order, you can order basic protein (i.e. chicken or steak with no butter, plain cooked) with veggies (also w.o butter, steamed)..just to modify the dish a little bit to get clean food, you don't always have to order salad.

I'm a foodie and around your height, add me if you want to : )

Gogo_Zowie

Ahaha thanks everybody :-)
Yeah it's hard work to be a foodie. I guess I need a good chit-chat with the "cheri".

We actually cook at home during the weekend (with wine and music) and we plan our meals for the week but somehow, he doesn't want to eat it during the week. (He's probably addicted to fast food lol!)

Maybe things gonna change, he got himself a garmin watch (yunno the one that calculate how many steps you take...etc...) I'll keep you updated ;-)

PRMinx

Up your workout ante. Start a lifting program. Compromise on number of days out.

eldamiano

"He's the lucky type of person and got amazing genes. He eats fast-food all the time ( he's 32) and doesn't gain any weight...and he's lazy, so no exercice what so ever."

Meanwhile on planet Earth, these people dont exist.

segacs

eldamiano wrote: »

"He's the lucky type of person and got amazing genes. He eats fast-food all the time ( he's 32) and doesn't gain any weight...and he's lazy, so no exercice what so ever."

Meanwhile on planet Earth, these people dont exist.

They do exist sometimes. But usually it catches up with them sooner or later. It can be tough for men, especially: I have several friends who were like this in their 20s and 30s and it hit them like a ton of bricks around 40.

OP, yep, sounds like a conversation with your man is in order. If you cook stuff on the weekends and he doesn't want to eat it in the middle of the week, just send him off to the nearest fast food place with a kiss and a wave, and eat it at home yourself. Once or twice of that, and he'll stop doing it.

segacs

yuiconnor wrote: »

Tip for restraurant:
when you order, you can order basic protein (i.e. chicken or steak with no butter, plain cooked) with veggies (also w.o butter, steamed)..just to modify the dish a little bit to get clean food, you don't always have to order salad.

I think the challenge is that if OP and her boyfriend are "foodies", they're probably not eating at your basic meat-n-veggies kinda restaurants. When you go to restaurants where the whole point is creativity in the menu, it can be tough to ask for just the basics, s'il vous plait.

Then again, there's usually something relatively healthy on the menu if you look for it. I was out at a trendy seafood and oyster bar last night, and ordered some delicious salmon tartare with crispy asian rice noodles and lettuce wraps, and a side of grilled champignons de paris. Yum. And even though I didn't know exactly how the tartare was prepared, I could guesstimate and add some extra calories for insurance. I even fit in a glass of wine without going over my daily calories.

It can be done.

willrun4bagels

Paige682 wrote: »

Up your workout ante. Start a lifting program. Compromise on number of days out.

Boom.

lmr0528

My husband and I always loved to eat out also. But that was taking a toll on our waistlines and of course our bank account! So now we've decided to plan a different recipe to make for dinner everynight, so we're always eating something different. But we pick 1 night a week to make that date night, where we can go out to eat anywhere, get whatever we want, with no one else but each other. Its nice because we look forward to that night now, and we (or at least I), plan for it with my calories and plan to get right back on track the next day.

Linnaea27

Hi Gogo_Zowie,

I am a 5'1" foodie too! I totally understand about loving to try new stuff at creative, nice restaurants. My fiance and I go out to eat at nice restaurants, mostly while on vacation, and this year, after losing some weight and getting used to less food, I found that restaurant portions are way too big compared to what I was used to while maintaining. I think you could definitely continue to eat out sometimes, but eat only 1/3-1/2 of the portion and take the rest home to have for lunch the next day (to me, a lunch that someone else cooked that's all ready to go in a container is a wonderful thing!). Also, insist on staying home and making your own dinner sometimes-- if he gets to suggest going out half the time, say, then you get your way and stay home and make dinner the other half of the time. Find some interesting, new ingredients and recipes to try.

With restaurant food, I think one *can* get away with not having overly giant portions but also enjoying interesting, delicious things-- by ordering a couple of appetizers to share and then you would get a large, interesting salad for your main course. It's also way cheaper to go to nice restaurants if you do this. I like doing this a lot.