Help, looking for feedback/advice

MrRyder111

Hi everyone,

I first met with a nutritionist on New Year's Eve 2012, and started Jan 1, 2013 logging all my food on MFP and doing cardio and very light lifting. It was easy to find time to go to the gym (as I was in college and I had a lot of time between/after class). I was kind of antisocial at the time, locking myself in my room and not socializing so that nothing would "trigger" me to want to eat junk food. Part of me wanted to lose weight thinking it would somehow make me extroverted/popular/more likable. Which obviously didn't happen .

I am only 5'7" and I eventually went from 225 pounds down to 190 by June 2013, and it felt absolutely amazing because I thought I looked great (for the first time since middle school when I didn't eat for a week to lose weight). But slowly, I gained all the weight back. As soon as I hit 190 it was just unsustainable to stay that "thin". I was always starving and it was so hard to limit what I ate and make it a routine to get to the gym almost every day with a full time job (which I started in July 2013). Plus, I feel like since I deprived myself so much of fatty/sweet foods, I eventually picked up old habits of binge eating junk food, but this time instead of pizza it was fast food junk.

I guess now I just feel very disappointed at how this all played out and am wondering if I should bother to try to lose the weight again. I feel like the same exact thing would happen again--once I hit my goal weight (of under 200) I will feel so relieved and just let myself go again. I am trying to find a less stressful job (corporate jobs really trigger a lot of emotions for me) as a driver or something similar where I am alone a lot of the time and don't have to think about my job too much outside of work hours.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I just wanted to "vent" and also solicit your thoughts, if you have any ideas for me. Thanks, really appreciate it!

malibu927

Don't think of this as a diet, think of it as a lifestyle change. A lot of people follow an 80/20 rule when it comes to food...80% healthy, filling foods, and 20% treats (candy, fast food, ice cream, cakes) in moderation. Cutting things out like that leads to binging. Even when you reach your goal weight, you'll still need to keep up with following the plan so you don't gain it back (a major reason why most diets fail).

0067808

I agree with malibu927 - deprivation rarely works - you need to find ways to build in your favourite foods into your calorie allowance - even if they are 'rubbish/junk'!! I can't do without Haribo chewy sweets, so every night I allow myself one tiny bag of them - I build it into my calorie allowance so it doesn't derail my diet plan - but it makes me feel like I'm in charge of my diet rather than it controlling me. You're only in your early 20's - your body will snap back into shape in no time. Is it worthwhile losing the weight? You know the answer to that already - you know how great it feels. It won't make you instantly popular, it won't make you outgoing or extrovert. But it will make you healthy, and it'll give you self-esteem and a feeling like you're in the driving seat. Make the change now - who needs to carry all that baggage around for the next 60 years? And as for the job - I've been in a stressful 'corporate' job from my twenties till now when I'm in my fifties. Pity its taken me 30 years to come to the same conclusion as you have in a short time - life is way too short to do something you find stressful; take the pay cut and extend your life is what I say.

libbydoodle11

Of course you should continue with a goal to achieve weight loss. Don't let your past dictate how you will progress this time. Today is a new day. Seek out a diet that suits you. You want to be able to eat as many calories as possible and include the foods you love while still losing weight. It can be done. Along the way you may learn to switch out some of your previous choices with healthier options. Don't practice deprivation. You know that doesn't work. Google a TDEE calculator, enter your stats and go to town. Enjoy your weight loss plan this time around. Stop beating yourself up and move on. Be kind to yourself.

alereck

I think that most people who gain back is because they count calories in a way that is not sustainable in the long run. If you are miserable while counting calories then you are just doing it wrong. You shouldn't be depriving yourself of anything, sweets or fast food. I don't; but you cannot binge either.

I think if you make sure to continue to eat foods that you enjoy in a daily basis then you have a much better chance of keeping the weight off. If you are able to have ice cream, cake or fries a few times a week or even daily without going overboard then you will stick with it for longer. I love sweets and I love eating out. I have sweets like ice cream or cake daily and I eat out at least twice a week but everything is in moderation, not deprivation, moderation.

Also, don't lower your calories to a point you cannot sustain. Lose the weight slower but keep it off longer by lowering your calories bit by bit. Start by logging the foods you usually eat now, if you are eating for example 3,000 calories a day then start by eating 2,700 for a few weeks, if you see results stay at that number until you stop seeing results. Then when you have to decrease again you are already used to eating less without feeling hungry and deprived, after all 300 is usually one snack out of the whole day.

Losing the weight made you feel good, think about that time. You don't sound happy now and you own it to yourself to be as happy as you can be.

Liftng4Lis

I agree, you need to learn to eat in moderation and do this at a sustainable rate. If you're crash dieting, you haven't really learned that this needs to be a lifestyle change. You gained the weight back because you felt you were restricting yourself. There is nothing that I have given up, I just use, as aforementioned, moderation.

oedipa_maas

Everyone in this thread has given great advice. What I wonder is what reaching your goal triggers inside of you. I absolutely agree with everyone here about where the problem lies, but I know that for myself hitting my goal triggers some mental panic. I too am reclusive when I'm heavier, and I too have gained weight back after I get to a place where I feel good. Much of it is what people say here--I was too deprivatory, I didn't make a lifestyle change, I was too extreme and didn't use moderation as my guiding principle.

But there was also a mental component that kept sabotaging me. I felt that once I didn't have my weight to use as an excuse for not accomplishing or trying new things, I would be overcome by anxiety. I felt that once I reached my goal I would have to sustain it, and that scared me for some reason. I felt vulnerable without my weight, as if it was a protective cloak that kept me from engaging in life, when I found life difficult and scary. There were so many things I piled on top of my goal, all these meanings that I had built in my own head, that once I got there I sabotaged myself because I felt overwhelmed. Not many people talk about the less positive feelings that reaching goal can inspire.

So in addition to doing what people are advising in this thread, you might want to start working on your mindset. Maybe feeling great when you reach goal also has some things underneath it that make you go back to old ways of being. Maybe this isn't at all the case, so feel free to ignore! I just thought I'd bring up some things that have made me regain weight every time I reach my goal. This time, I refuse to let myself fall when I reach goal. I've mentally prepared myself to block every bad thought that makes me run to my old, ostensibly easier habits.

yoovie

maybe next time try a combo of diet and exercise, with more focus on the exercise?