Relationship Weight Gain

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135

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  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
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    See if you can work together on this and make some plans rather than eating randomly. If he cares about you, he wants you to be healthy.
  • nicsflyingcircus
    nicsflyingcircus Posts: 2,416 Member
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    Honestly, the whole OP screams of weird relationship dependencies to me, as much or more than any issues to do with food.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    That is a nice gesture even for it getting in the way of what you need to do. That is the thing though. You need to do what you need to do and cook separate for him if that is the case.

  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Is your boyfriend not capable of feeding himself?
    Its called being considerate. You might want to give it a go some time.

    You think you are being considerate. I get that. Unfortunately, if this continues, you're being a doormat. Now, it would considerate of him to call you and say "working late, see you another day this week" or "working late, go ahead and eat."
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
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    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Oh, ok. I guess I misread all that stuff about not being able to control your eating in a relationship and calling it a "nightmare" and saying "being in a relationship is terrible for my weight."

    The one time I genuinely try to help with minimal snark, and I get called a troll. Gotta love the forums!
  • laurenward1990
    laurenward1990 Posts: 82 Member
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    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Oh, ok. I guess I misread all that stuff about not being able to control your eating in a relationship and calling it a "nightmare" and saying "being in a relationship is terrible for my weight."

    The one time I genuinely try to help with minimal snark, and I get called a troll. Gotta love the forums!
    How is that a case of "codependency"? You made a nasty comment, I called you out. Oh dear!
  • Sevendust912
    Sevendust912 Posts: 122 Member
    Options
    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Is your boyfriend not capable of feeding himself?
    Its called being considerate. You might want to give it a go some time.

    OK, keep doing what you're doing and continue having the same issues, and it's called being a pushover not considerate.

    Any boyfriend worth his salt should understand that you need to do you when it comes to your nutrition and diet.

  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
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    And why the crap are people being so rude on this thread? This weight gain issue is very common in relationships, especially during the first year or so. She's just looking for suggestions from people who have dealt with the issue and found solutions. If you are not such a person, fine, then let it be. What do people get out of making nasty comments to a person who has done nothing to them? For shame. >:(
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    edited November 2014
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    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Oh, ok. I guess I misread all that stuff about not being able to control your eating in a relationship and calling it a "nightmare" and saying "being in a relationship is terrible for my weight."

    The one time I genuinely try to help with minimal snark, and I get called a troll. Gotta love the forums!
    How is that a case of "codependency"? You made a nasty comment, I called you out. Oh dear!

    You are being a little codependent though...

    You're putting your life and health goals on hold for him, but what is he doing for you? You don't live together. Why do you shop together? How does his lack of doing a big shop prevent you from eating what you want?

    Can I ask why you broke up over the summer?
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    Paige682 wrote: »
    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Is your boyfriend not capable of feeding himself?
    Its called being considerate. You might want to give it a go some time.

    You think you are being considerate. I get that. Unfortunately, if this continues, you're being a doormat. Now, it would considerate of him to call you and say "working late, see you another day this week" or "working late, go ahead and eat."

    What does he do that makes it so he cannot make one quick phone call or shoot a text? In to blame the guy

  • laurenward1990
    laurenward1990 Posts: 82 Member
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    Honestly, the whole OP screams of weird relationship dependencies to me, as much or more than any issues to do with food.

    Obviously it's not seen as the norm to eat dinner with your loved one these days. Sigh. I'm going to leave this thread, so many opinions on a simple fact that I like to be good to my boyfriend.

    God, I must be soooooo weird and dependent on him....deary me.

  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Options
    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Oh, ok. I guess I misread all that stuff about not being able to control your eating in a relationship and calling it a "nightmare" and saying "being in a relationship is terrible for my weight."

    The one time I genuinely try to help with minimal snark, and I get called a troll. Gotta love the forums!
    How is that a case of "codependency"? You made a nasty comment, I called you out. Oh dear!

    I said you sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That was not nasty.

    Food can absolutely be a catalyst for codependency. Why do you think people both get fat in relationships?

    http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/co-dependency
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    gothchiq wrote: »
    And why the crap are people being so rude on this thread? This weight gain issue is very common in relationships, especially during the first year or so. She's just looking for suggestions from people who have dealt with the issue and found solutions. If you are not such a person, fine, then let it be. What do people get out of making nasty comments to a person who has done nothing to them? For shame. >:(

    Most people here aren't being nasty, they are being honest.
  • laurenward1990
    laurenward1990 Posts: 82 Member
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    gothchiq wrote: »
    And why the crap are people being so rude on this thread? This weight gain issue is very common in relationships, especially during the first year or so. She's just looking for suggestions from people who have dealt with the issue and found solutions. If you are not such a person, fine, then let it be. What do people get out of making nasty comments to a person who has done nothing to them? For shame. >:(

    Thank you, I don't understand what people get out of it either, oh well. I feel sorry for people like that. x
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
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    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    You need to fix the teenage mentality that being in a relationship means making your life all about the other person. You spend your night waiting around to find out when he's getting home and if you're going to see each other? You don't live together and he won't give you a key to his place, so you wait around for him, then go spend the night at his place if he says it's ok? Really?

    Take a more mature approach to dating. If he wants to see you, he schedules a date in advance. That doesn't mean you can't have spontaneous times when you get together, but you are your own person and you have a life. You should not be hanging around the house waiting to see if this guy will deign to see you that night, and certainly not being the one to always go to his place. You need to respect and value yourself and your time. If he wants a relationship dependent on his schedule and his whims, give him the number to an escort service on your way out the door.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    yopeeps025 wrote: »
    Paige682 wrote: »
    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Is your boyfriend not capable of feeding himself?
    Its called being considerate. You might want to give it a go some time.

    You think you are being considerate. I get that. Unfortunately, if this continues, you're being a doormat. Now, it would considerate of him to call you and say "working late, see you another day this week" or "working late, go ahead and eat."

    What does he do that makes it so he cannot make one quick phone call or shoot a text? In to blame the guy

    I'm not blaming anyone, I'm just saying that I've been there and it sucks. If he can't take a moment to call her, make a plan and stick to it, then why should she put her diet on hold?
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Options
    Honestly, the whole OP screams of weird relationship dependencies to me, as much or more than any issues to do with food.

    Obviously it's not seen as the norm to eat dinner with your loved one these days. Sigh. I'm going to leave this thread, so many opinions on a simple fact that I like to be good to my boyfriend.

    God, I must be soooooo weird and dependent on him....deary me.

    For example he gets home at X time and you are waiting with meal cooked. One hour later no show you are still waiting. By now you know order food is going to happen and you just let it happen.
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    I would tell you, but then you would probably dismiss 'growing up and authorising control of what you eat' as rude and therefore not listen.....
  • laurenward1990
    laurenward1990 Posts: 82 Member
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    Paige682 wrote: »
    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Oh, ok. I guess I misread all that stuff about not being able to control your eating in a relationship and calling it a "nightmare" and saying "being in a relationship is terrible for my weight."

    The one time I genuinely try to help with minimal snark, and I get called a troll. Gotta love the forums!
    How is that a case of "codependency"? You made a nasty comment, I called you out. Oh dear!

    Can I ask why you broke up over the summer?

    No you can't, this isn't a relationship councelling session, I was simply asking for solutions. Not comments about my relationship which you have absolutely NO idea about.

  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Options
    Paige682 wrote: »
    A
    Everyone can relate i'm sure...

    Being in a relationship is terrible for my weight, every time! I just cannot control myself when i'm with my boyfriend. We eat out a lot and each others routines mean we end up getting take outs sometimes because, for example, he'd had to work late unexpectedly and we didn't do a "big shop" at the weekend so there's nothing in.

    When I was single (we broke up for a couple of months in summer) it was so easy to get into a food routine, get home from work and cook (a very low calorie, healthy meal) for one. But now, I have no routine, so I snack or we end up eating for convenience.

    It's a nightmare! Any suggestions/help?

    Sounds like you're not ready to be in a relationship until you fix yourself.
    And what do I need to "fix"?

    Your relationship with food and weight. You sound like a case of codependency in waiting. That's not good for either of you.

    A case of codependency for taking into account that my boyfriend might want something to eat when he gets home from work? Hahaha. Jesus the forum here is so utterly ridiculous.

    Trolling doesn't suit you.

    Oh, ok. I guess I misread all that stuff about not being able to control your eating in a relationship and calling it a "nightmare" and saying "being in a relationship is terrible for my weight."

    The one time I genuinely try to help with minimal snark, and I get called a troll. Gotta love the forums!
    How is that a case of "codependency"? You made a nasty comment, I called you out. Oh dear!

    Can I ask why you broke up over the summer?

    No you can't, this isn't a relationship councelling session, I was simply asking for solutions. Not comments about my relationship which you have absolutely NO idea about.

    Ok. Whatevs.

    OP, when you post about your relationship issues on an online forum, be prepared for people to discuss and ask questions. You asked for solutions and people are giving them to you, even if you don't like them.

This discussion has been closed.