Self hatred info I learned today
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I don't think there's anything wrong with a fitness trainer learning about stuff like this. I don't think he's proposing to construct a couch on a bench and have his clients lie down and tell them about their dreams.
The majority of the young trainers at the chain gym I go to are only interested in either weight loss or weight lifting (and nary shall the two meet), people going beyond this surely is a good thing?
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So certain sections of dieters have issues that go beyond losing weight? Isnt that obvious?
I think its ok for the OP to learn stuff and it might enable him to do his job better simply by being aware. Going beyond that is really something you need to be careful with because just as one client may welcome it, then others will not.0 -
Yep. There are clients that will go into their personal lives with me and tell me all about their disagreements with their SO, kids, work, etc. and others that don't want to converse at all. I've learned on how to distinguish that.So certain sections of dieters have issues that go beyond losing weight? Isnt that obvious?
I think its ok for the OP to learn stuff and it might enable him to do his job better simply by being aware. Going beyond that is really something you need to be careful with because just as one client may welcome it, then others will not.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I, for one, commend you on investigating this. I think it's important to recognize that meeting a fitness or health goal may not accomplish what a particular client thought it would. With that client you would want to avoid giving any sort of impression that everything will be awesome when the goal is met and you can suggest professional help when it becomes obvious that everything is not, in fact, awesome.0
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Wow, loving this thread. Thank you. I've hated myself in terms of inferior shape/size/attractiveness for years and have suffered severe depression from it. I'm now receiving therapy and doing mindfulness meditation. Interesting reading, this. Bookmarked
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It's funny because at work, lots of members have commented that it seems I go beyond what the average PT does.I, for one, commend you on investigating this. I think it's important to recognize that meeting a fitness or health goal may not accomplish what a particular client thought it would. With that client you would want to avoid giving any sort of impression that everything will be awesome when the goal is met and you can suggest professional help when it becomes obvious that everything is not, in fact, awesome.
A couple of years ago, I went on to investigate and research an approximate time of when females might change their physical activity and eating habits based on the expectation of society. Where girls in elementary didn't care much about getting sweaty and having mussed up hair, to graduating into middle school and do a total 180 because now the environment has changed along with puberty. Fun stuff to examine.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Wow, loving this thread. Thank you. I've hated myself in terms of inferior shape/size/attractiveness for years and have suffered severe depression from it. I'm now receiving therapy and doing mindfulness meditation. Interesting reading, this. Bookmarked
Precisely the point - you have a body some people would kill for, but for someone with low self-esteem, it's hard to believe people when they tell you that.0 -
i am honestly shocked that any of this is eye-opening.0
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i am honestly shocked that any of this is eye-opening.
Some people just don't get it and need to have it explained and repeated numerous times. It's ok.
ETA: I think my post sounded snarky and I didn't mean it that way. It's just that many times when people don't experience these things first hand it's hard for them to empathize.0 -
i am honestly shocked that any of this is eye-opening.
This is a forum where some people actually take the time out of their day to post to say that hey, they've never experienced depression, they should follow the sage advice of their roller derby coach and everyone else can diddle themselves.
Or when someone posts to say how disgusting they find themselves after years of medication for serious mental health problems and binge eating, responses include telling them to pull themselves up by the boot straps and that they wouldn't have got that fat, by the way, if they hadn't eaten so damned much. As if they need that explaining to them.
2 real posts I have seen around here. Not that it's really representative of the thousands I suppose, but some people really are bell ends.
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There are so many logical answers to every problem, but there are many people who don't recognize they have one. You may not have any of the issues, but there are certainly people who do.i am honestly shocked that any of this is eye-opening.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Elsie_Brownraisin wrote: »I don't think there's anything wrong with a fitness trainer learning about stuff like this. I don't think he's proposing to construct a couch on a bench and have his clients lie down and tell them about their dreams.
The majority of the young trainers at the chain gym I go to are only interested in either weight loss or weight lifting (and nary shall the two meet), people going beyond this surely is a good thing?
I agree. I think that a personal trainer can span several areas and be able to better helkp their clients. A personal trainer who has training in counseling or education in occupational or social therapy can work wonders by combining these things with the basics of fitness and their clients will probably be very grounded and reach their goals with more benefits than they ever expected.
If i was a trainer, I'd love to also be a psychologist, bartender and life coach, yo.
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Elsie_Brownraisin wrote: »I don't think there's anything wrong with a fitness trainer learning about stuff like this. I don't think he's proposing to construct a couch on a bench and have his clients lie down and tell them about their dreams.
The majority of the young trainers at the chain gym I go to are only interested in either weight loss or weight lifting (and nary shall the two meet), people going beyond this surely is a good thing?
I agree. I think that a personal trainer can span several areas and be able to better helkp their clients. A personal trainer who has training in counseling or education in occupational or social therapy can work wonders by combining these things with the basics of fitness and their clients will probably be very grounded and reach their goals with more benefits than they ever expected.
If i was a trainer, I'd love to also be a psychologist, bartender and life coach, yo.
It's (sort of) what my husband might want to do. He's qualified coach in several outdoor sports and is thinking of trying to work in a centre or something with children in care with the local authority, which will mean he'll probably need to gain extra qualfications towards the social work direction.
It goes the other way too - I have a mental health problem and I think it would be very good if the team that manages my care were more able to look at the physical needs of their patients. A good diet and physical activity can't magically make everything better, but for some people it's hard to understate what a difference it can make in the long term.
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I agree. Just from his posts here I believe ninerbuff has his client's best interest at heart. I find his posts refreshing. Also, one of the gyms I go to is very small and the personal trainer that works exclusively for that gym is there, obviously, ALL the time. So, he'll be training people right next to me most of the time I'm there so I'm in close enough range to over hear things (even though I'd rather not!) and boy, do those people he's training unload on him! I mean, they spill their life story. Sometimes, for some people, someone to talk to is what they need. If ninerbuff can help those people find the additional help they need to be happier then that's great!Elsie_Brownraisin wrote: »I don't think there's anything wrong with a fitness trainer learning about stuff like this. I don't think he's proposing to construct a couch on a bench and have his clients lie down and tell them about their dreams.
The majority of the young trainers at the chain gym I go to are only interested in either weight loss or weight lifting (and nary shall the two meet), people going beyond this surely is a good thing?
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also, sometimes when you have the issue, you may not be gifted with the self awareness to realize you have an issue.
There are so many logical answers to every problem, but there are many people who don't recognize they have one. You may not have any of the issues, but there are certainly people who do.i am honestly shocked that any of this is eye-opening.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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The interesting thing, is that when I hit my goal, I was not happier than when I was over weight. It was cause my journey went off the tracks .. and it took me 6 months (and still not there) to get over the reality that I was not the person I was before. The losing weight part was easy .. the emotional baggage was much much harder to deal with.0
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And sometimes when you're aware you have the issue you don't have the tools to cope with or overcome it.
also, sometimes when you have the issue, you may not be gifted with the self awareness to realize you have an issue.
There are so many logical answers to every problem, but there are many people who don't recognize they have one. You may not have any of the issues, but there are certainly people who do.i am honestly shocked that any of this is eye-opening.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Did he mention where martyrdom and modesty fit in with this? Sometimes I think that's what I see going on when someone either a) doesn't take care of themselves or b) self deprecates as a habit in public.
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They're different in that with dysmorphia, the person is not seeing reality - they see themselves as obese when they are healthy, for example. Self-loathers see themselves as they are, but they can't stop comparing themselves to others that are 'better' and hating themselves for not making the grade. Even if they improve themselves to meet or beat their original goals, they just move the goalposts so they are always on the losing side, no matter how much they accomplish.
QFSuccinctness0 -
also, sometimes when you have the issue, you may not be gifted with the self awareness to realize you have an issue.
There are so many logical answers to every problem, but there are many people who don't recognize they have one. You may not have any of the issues, but there are certainly people who do.i am honestly shocked that any of this is eye-opening.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
#wisdom
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MyChocolateDiet wrote: »Did he mention where martyrdom and modesty fit in with this? Sometimes I think that's what I see going on when someone either a) doesn't take care of themselves or b) self deprecates as a habit in public.
also dead on
I often hear friends of mine who are mothers talking about breaking their backs and spending every moment of every day spinning around their families and giving off lists of the things they sacrifice in order to do this, such as their health and their weight and their looks or some buzz like that, and it brings them positive attention. She's so selfless, what a perfect mother.
That hurts to see.
No mother is perfect and that's a good thing because we all learn from mistakes. And taking care of your heath will benefit your entire family. You don't have to kill yourself to be seen as a good mother. It's okay, I promise.
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Interesting discussion. There is a huge psychological component, with differing roots, that goes along with morbid obesity. I am going through the peeling of the onion now. People can lose the weight, but unless these issues are addressed, the likelihood of reverting to negative behaviors is significant.0
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Psychiatry - the profession with the highest suicide rate. How ironic.
This speaks volumes but not about psychiatry.
Moving on....
I discovered that I am more likely to work hard for someone who genuinely likes me. That includes myself. When I didn't like myself and forced myself to exercise/eat right because I didn't think I was good enough, it never really resulted in much. However, when I started cut myself some slack and made a concerted effort to neutralize the negative talk, things started to progress.
No one likes to work for a condescending jerk, especially when that jerk is yourself. Be nice to yourself. Give yourself what you need to BE BETTER, not what you want to simply feel better.
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Interesting discussion. There is a huge psychological component, with differing roots, that goes along with morbid obesity. I am going through the peeling of the onion now. People can lose the weight, but unless these issues are addressed, the likelihood of reverting to negative behaviors is significant.
this is so true. I peeled off a hundred pounds and felt so exposed and vulnerable that sometimes I had to put a couple layers back for a little while before I could get back to the unpeeling!!!
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Interesting discussion. There is a huge psychological component, with differing roots, that goes along with morbid obesity. I am going through the peeling of the onion now. People can lose the weight, but unless these issues are addressed, the likelihood of reverting to negative behaviors is significant.
this is so true. I peeled off a hundred pounds and felt so exposed and vulnerable that sometimes I had to put a couple layers back for a little while before I could get back to the unpeeling!!!
Both of these quotes are just so true for me. Right now, reading this makes me feel weary. I've come such a long way but still have so long to go, and I don't just mean with numbers of pounds lost...0 -
but you dont have a long way to go ALONE. a million people have done it and believe you can too and a million people are struggling along side you even if you don't know them. You are part of a worldwide movement and you're doing just fine.0
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Yes but they can't do it it FOR me. Sometimes I just feel tired, ya know? 0
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Kevalicious99 wrote: »The interesting thing, is that when I hit my goal, I was not happier than when I was over weight. It was cause my journey went off the tracks .. and it took me 6 months (and still not there) to get over the reality that I was not the person I was before. The losing weight part was easy .. the emotional baggage was much much harder to deal with.
I think this is true for a lot of people. Hang in there and keep at it. I hope you find the happiness you're looking for.0 -
MyChocolateDiet wrote: »Did he mention where martyrdom and modesty fit in with this? Sometimes I think that's what I see going on when someone either a) doesn't take care of themselves or b) self deprecates as a habit in public.
also dead on
I often hear friends of mine who are mothers talking about breaking their backs and spending every moment of every day spinning around their families and giving off lists of the things they sacrifice in order to do this, such as their health and their weight and their looks or some buzz like that, and it brings them positive attention. She's so selfless, what a perfect mother.
That hurts to see.
No mother is perfect and that's a good thing because we all learn from mistakes. And taking care of your heath will benefit your entire family. You don't have to kill yourself to be seen as a good mother. It's okay, I promise.
Could not agree more, although it is an unpopular opinion. Just last night on the news I caught the tail-end of some story and they said something like, "She always put her kids needs first before her own. She was such a good mom." Sorry, but in my mind those two things don't correlate. And I am a mom. I learned fairly early on that I had to TAKE time for myself, demand it, set the boundaries, and use it to the best of my ability. That made me a better person and therefore a more patient mom. (not in any way saying I'm perfect; FAR from it!)0 -
Since a majority of my clients are stay at home moms, I can say that the time they take with me is the time they usually say is "their time". I encourage them that the work we put in will pay off in the long run even though that time is about working out stress, labored breathing, and burning muscles from lactic acid build up. And to be honest, most of them look forward to it.MyChocolateDiet wrote: »Did he mention where martyrdom and modesty fit in with this? Sometimes I think that's what I see going on when someone either a) doesn't take care of themselves or b) self deprecates as a habit in public.
also dead on
I often hear friends of mine who are mothers talking about breaking their backs and spending every moment of every day spinning around their families and giving off lists of the things they sacrifice in order to do this, such as their health and their weight and their looks or some buzz like that, and it brings them positive attention. She's so selfless, what a perfect mother.
That hurts to see.
No mother is perfect and that's a good thing because we all learn from mistakes. And taking care of your heath will benefit your entire family. You don't have to kill yourself to be seen as a good mother. It's okay, I promise.
Could not agree more, although it is an unpopular opinion. Just last night on the news I caught the tail-end of some story and they said something like, "She always put her kids needs first before her own. She was such a good mom." Sorry, but in my mind those two things don't correlate. And I am a mom. I learned fairly early on that I had to TAKE time for myself, demand it, set the boundaries, and use it to the best of my ability. That made me a better person and therefore a more patient mom. (not in any way saying I'm perfect; FAR from it!)
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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