The Dreaded Skinny Fat

mitch16

I'm 5'7", female (obviously), and will be 45 in January. I am currently 5 lbs away from my goal weight of 128 lbs (which itself is kind of arbitrary: it's what I weighed when I was married 20 years ago). I've had one pregnancy since then (my son is now 14) and have lost about 50 lbs from my all-time high. Although I work a desk job, I am pretty active: skiing, surfing, cycling, yoga, running. Lots of running.

The problem? Probably a little body dysmorphia (but then again, who doesn't have it in some way?)... I do look pretty good in clothes right now. However--naked? Not so much... Things are a little squishy on my belly still and I lost a lot of weight from my breasts. My husband offered surgery but honestly I am very afraid of the pain of recovery so I've taken that off the table.

I think I need to do body recomp, but I don't know where to start--definitely through a gym and with a trainer, but first... Do I continue losing weight until I hit my goal before starting? Or should I lose to below my goal so that I can build muscle back up without exceeding my goal weight by too much? How much over maintenance should I eat to be able to build some muscle? Should all of those calories be protein, or split amongst my macros? (Not sure if it's pertinent, but I have had a couple bouts with eating disorders in the past--nothing that required hospitalization, but I do have a tendency to get obsessive sometimes...)

I am a little cautious of lifting... Growing up I was an equestrienne and swam on the high school team. I've always had powerful legs (running has helped me lean out my thighs). And weightlifting during swim team gave me huge shoulders (seriously, I had to buy a wedding dress 2 sizes too large to fit my shoulders and then have the waist cut down to a size 6). I don't want to look like a body builder--just a little definition and not so much squish on my belly. Can I accomplish this by doing just TRX and plyometrics, or do I actually have to 'pump iron'? Can I still run if I'm trying to build muscle?

Any insight/advice is appreciated... (Although my brother has been a bodybuilder/weightlifting kind of guy as long as I remember, I'm not really up on the lingo, so plain English wherever possible please!) Thanks!

peachyfuzzle

When people say "I don't want to look like a bodybuilder" when they are referencing weightlifting, they fundamentally do not understand how extremely difficult it is, and what extreme care those people go through in order to build their physique. It would be almost, if not completely, impossible to "look like a bodybuilder" unless that was your exact goal.

You don't need to waste money on a trainer to gain definition, but you are going to have to at least not be at a calorie deficit in order to feed your muscles properly. Just like fat, muscles can only be lost when eating less than maintenance calories.

In order to gain muscle, you're going to have to do at least some type of resistance training whether that be with weights, or bands, or bodyweight, etc. That's just how it works. You have to force your body to react, and adapt to its environment. You can still run, and running might actually be beneficial to muscle growth when combined with a resistance routine, but as you should already see through your own experience, running alone won't do it.

If all you're looking for is to get more definition in the midsection though, all you have to do is get your bodyfat under a certain %, and your abs will show. They might still need to be built up some, but abs are more about BF% than anything else.

micheleld73

I agree with the above poster. As far as macros go, there are A LOT of websites (Scooby and IIFYM are two of the best) out there that will give you an idea of how to split them, and all of the macros are equally important for muscle growth and maintenance. I lift 3x a week and do cardio 5x a week. Since I'm still eating at a deficit to lose fat I'm not getting a lot of definition, but I'm also not as soft as I was and I have gained strength. It will take a lot of time and patience, so don't expect immediate results or you will be greatly disappointed.

h7463

Hey!
I'm close to your age (51, f, 5'5", 131 lbs, 17 % bf), and I've been through this. I have never been overweight in my life, but the body composition had shifted to undesired proportions....
The good news: it's a lot harder for us to build lean muscle, and you will not likely get those big shoulders again without a lot of targeted work in this area. Currently, I'm a regular US size 4, with a tight size 6 in the shoulders, and there has been a lot of lifting involved....not that I'm complaining.
Bodybuilding means 'your build your own'. You used to train mostly upper body for swimming, but you won't have to do this anymore. Balance your workout and body with appropriate strength exercises, running/cardio, high intensity intervall workouts, weight/cardio circuits (I like workouts by Jillian Michaels for this), have more protein, drink more water, and enjoy.
I started out at 125 lbs, 25 % bf, dress size 8, and I am now at 131-17-4. Not using the scale much, I just measure...

Good luck!

RHSheetz

Since you have very specific requirements, I would check out the training options around. Find a trainer that

a. Listens to what you want and can introduce you to clients that have reached the goals you are trying for
b. looks like they not only know what they are doing, but practises what they are preaching
c. is able to discuss nutrition

You are going to have to stop looking at the scale and focus on your appearance. While training for recomp the scale will DRIVE YOU NUTS with flucuations. It will go up from time to time and you do not want to let it drive you to distraction.

I am currently on a LONG recomp process that I am eating at a deficet and putting on muscle slowly. I would recomend starting now, don't wait until you hit a specific number on the scale.

ana3067

There legitimately are no protein sources that are pure protein. Or if there are, please don't eat them lol.

Macro split should be something like..
Protein: 1g/lean body mass as a minimum. So you need to estimate your body fat % for this, subtract the fat from your total weight.
Fat: 0.3g/total lb as a minimum.
Carbs: the rest.

Then yes, some type of training is required. If you want to avoid getting too large, you just need to keep a small surplus (e.g. no more than 200 calories above maintenance - or no more than ~2lbs/month gained) and stick to lifting heavy (<6 reps) to minimize the chances of getting that rounded bodybuilding look. Lifting heavy usually gives you more of that tight, compact muscular look. If doing weights, then choose a good full body lifting program (ABA BAB program, or Stronglifts, NROL, etc). You can do cardio, I don't. People in deficits find that it can hamper recovery, but in a surplus you'd be recovering just fine. So try it out, you will probably just need to run on different days or at different times, e.g. run in the AM and weights in the PM/

BaldheadSlick

I was in a similar position and was a skinny-fat person after losing all the weight. The bottom line is that unless you desire to look as thin as a runway model, weight training is only going to enhance and give you the look at you desire.

Don't worry about looking like a bodybuilder because I'm sure you've noticed that as you age, change happens at a much slower pace. Heck, I first lost weight in high school on a Burger King and pizza diet, but that could never happen now. So changes you saw when you were younger have little relevance to you now (however there will always be body parts that respond better/worse to a stimulus).

Keep your body fat in check, increase your muscle mass, and I'm sure you'll look in the mirror and appear thinner despite being the same or heavier on the scale. You don't need a trainer, but if do not know where to start and what to do, a good one can teach you.

Lastly, please keep in mind, getting stronger through lifting isn't just about looks. Powerful legs, arms, better mobility, etc. increase in importance and are vital to our quality of life as we get older.