she's killing me!

tidefan1784

I poured a glass of apple juice to take my meds with. Logged a 12 oz glass drank maybe 2. My mom poured the rest out! Why would she do that? I swear she is out to get me. I bought fruit and chicken for the first time in months and specifically told her it was for weight loss. She has been in three different doc offices with me where each doc or NP said to lose weight yet she's doing everything she can to sabatoge me. I can't cook my own meals because I can't stand long enough to do so. I started searching Pinterest for crock pot meals because I can handle that but she pitches a fit about everything! Your dad won't eat that, that sounds gross, blah blah blah! I just want to give up already because of her! No, its not feasible to move out because of my health problems and financial reasons. My therapist and psychiatrist both said she is literally killing me physically, emotionally, and financially.

tidefan1784

I was going to drink juice and water to keep from eating....I'm eating almost 1k calories every night. That's what I've spent this first week doing. Seeing what I'm eating, when. Seeing what my patterns are.

myheartsabattleground

Tell her how you feel. #firstworldproblems

Aemely

Are you planning to use MFP to log calories in/out?

oORosadaOo

Hi, thanks for having your diary open!

I can't imagine your mother force-feeding you with a spoon! So please - no offense - stop the whining and start taking responsibility for your food choices! Cut out the sweet drinks and try to eat smaller portions. When she puts huge portions on your plate you must not feel obliged to eat all of it. It will be a struggle at first but you are 30 years old and should be able to take your life into your own hands! You can't live your life to please your mother!

For exercise: can you go outside and take a walk around the block? It's good that you have a stationery bike, but if there's so much sabotage going on in your household, it might be better to take your exercise outside. Do you have any friends close by who can support you? That might also help!

Congratulations anyway for joining MFP, it's the first step to a healthier you! ...If you are going to use it.

RodaRose

Learn some deep breathing techniques:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd94Gh4lKOA

You cannot change her, but you can change the way you deal with her.
Soon you will get stronger (physically, emotionally, and financially) and move out.
In order to lose weight, you do not need new foods.
Eat less of what you have been eating.

Watch on the youtube and elsewhere for The Weight of The Nation -- free four part documentary produced by the U.S. gov and HBO.
(It is on youtube and HBO . c o m )
In that movie they say to give up sugary drinks.
That is the single most important thing you can do for yourself -- stop the apple juice so you can drink water or club soda.

By the way, I like crock pot cooking too.
Can you keep foods for yourself in a mini fridge?
Or keep a small crockpot in your room?

Aemely

TideFan, looking at your diary, I think you would be a lot closer to your calorie goal if you stopped drinking sweet tea, fruit/apple juice (so many calories), and sodas. Why not switch to water and plain tea? That would be a small change that's totally in your control and could make a big difference!

Good luck!

JoKessho

My aunt is the same way - always trying to sabotage my weight-loss efforts and she did manage for a while, until I fully realised that I'm the only one who can decide what I put in my mouth.
These days she still offers me sweets and other crap, but I take pride in turning her down and not eating anything she tells me to. She always says "eat this for me, please" or "it'll make me happy if you eat this." At one point I got so tired of her saying that stuff, that I just said flat-out: "I'm not eating something for someone else's sake ever again." Saying it out loud made me realise that it's the truth and that what I put in my mouth is my choice and I'm eating those things because *I* want to.

dbmata

tidefan1784 wrote: »

My therapist and psychiatrist both said she is literally killing me physically, emotionally, and financially.

Sounds like it's time to move, if for nothing else, your own survival. If your life is worth it to you.

Family can be the suck sometimes.

cowgoo

Maybe get a mini refrigerator and keep it in your room? Then mom can't dump out anything that belongs to you. There are also protein shakes and powders that you can buy pre-made or that you only have to add water to, not sure that she could sabotage your access to water. Another option, get a safe... sounds extreme, but if you are serious about your health and mom is "killing you" get a safe, lock up your healthy food and be done with it, get one shipped to the house and make sure you are home when it is delivered, case closed.

PrizePopple

I'm going to be blunt, and possibly a little harsh, but you posted a similar thread a week ago. You're a grown woman, and you need to grow a pair and tell your mom that things for you are going to change. She is not killing you, you are letting it happen. So what your dad doesn't like something that you got for yourself? If your parents are such a-holes that they are unwilling to help you then yeah, you need to get yourself into a different situation if you want to get healthy. Where you are right now, letting yourself get walked all over, is doing you a disservice.

taunto

Your mom seems like she wants to take care of you and the rest of the family the only way she knows how. Moms are to be loved and cherished, not screamed on the internet that she is sabotaging you. Take it from somebody who doesn't have his mother with him any longer. They might seem to be sabotaging and intentionally out to get you, but they aren't. While its true that there are horrible mothers out there, this one doesn't seems like it. For one, she took you in while you are struggling financially and health wise.

As for your problem, may I suggest you start cooking for yourself. Usually mothers just like to see that they are still needed by the children and that you appreciate their cooking. You can always take a bite or 2 and compliment and then tell her that you need to eat your boring food to try and be healthy. Perhaps it will do the trick. I hope it does.

Good luck and don't be hard on your mother.

RodaRose

Sometimes Moms are crazy. I have one who is completely off her rocker but in a different way. I live far away from her now.

harlequin0318

PrizePopple wrote: »

I'm going to be blunt, and possibly a little harsh, but you posted a similar thread a week ago. You're a grown woman, and you need to grow a pair and tell your mom that things for you are going to change. She is not killing you, you are letting it happen. So what your dad doesn't like something that you got for yourself? If your parents are such a-holes that they are unwilling to help you then yeah, you need to get yourself into a different situation if you want to get healthy. Where you are right now, letting yourself get walked all over, is doing you a disservice.

This. OP get a handle on this and stop trolling - we can't solve this for you

999tigger

Maybe get a dietician and learn how weight loss occurs. Looking at your diary there seems to eb a fundamental misunderstanding on what you need to be eating and how much if your aim is to lose weight. Whilst you cna blame your mom for certain things, its you thats responsible for you amd you can make your own food in your own crockpot if need be. It looks like you are complaining more about the action of others than geting to grip with the situation yourself for yourself. If you want to lose weight enough, then you can by learning how to use the site and then eating at a deficit. Keep asking yourself whether you are making excuses or you are really determined to lose weight.

squirrelone

PrizePopple wrote: »

I'm going to be blunt, and possibly a little harsh, but you posted a similar thread a week ago. You're a grown woman, and you need to grow a pair and tell your mom that things for you are going to change. She is not killing you, you are letting it happen. So what your dad doesn't like something that you got for yourself? If your parents are such a-holes that they are unwilling to help you then yeah, you need to get yourself into a different situation if you want to get healthy. Where you are right now, letting yourself get walked all over, is doing you a disservice.

Agreed.

Blaming everyone else for your problems and shortcomings is never going to do anything other than make sure you never get anywhere.
Take responsibility for your life and stop making excuses.

At 30 years of age you should not be whining about how "mean" your mother is. That is not how adults work.
Don't like living there? Move out.
Like most people did at 10-15 years younger than you.

xsmilexforxmex

This might not be the nicest way to put this but I feel the need to be blunt:
Why is preventing you from drinking liquid calories your mother trying to kill you? Stop drinking your calories. Start fixing your own food and there's no reason your dad needs to eat it. A 4-6oz piece of chicken can go in the oven for 30ish minutes, you don't need to stand while it cooks. Have a salad with lemon juice (or a single serving of dressing) as the dressing - This can be made at the table while sitting. Bags of spinach cost about 3$ and are only about 100 calories for the entire bag.
Your mom isn't the one dying, you are; so stop making excuses. Stop blaming your mother. Take responsibility. Don't give up. It's your health. It's your life.

999peanut

A quick glance at your diary really does show that you can take more control if you choose to..
Take Saturday.. had you swapped your drinks to water and not had the snacks listed you would have reduced your intake by 1165 calories.. and that is just a starter... remove or reduce items like chocolate gravy? and there are others on there that you could have avoided or reduced the amount eaten..
The biggest thing you really need to concentrate on to begin with is the drinks and their sugar content.. fruit juices and sodas should be avoided at all costs ..water and fruit teas.. takes time to change a habit but seems you need to take control of the one part of your diet you can that does not involve the cooking.. take control ..

njitaliana

I took a look at your diary. Most of your calories come from sweetened cereals, soda, doughnuts, pretzels, candy, sweet tea, fruit juice, brownies and added sugar. I'm not sure why anyone would want to drink 330 calories worth of apple juice for breakfast, add 6 tsp of sugar to an already 73 calorie glass of iced tea for lunch, and have 330 calories of iced tea for dinner. Then top it off with 800 calories of Brownies and Fritos for an after-dinner snack.

You are over on your calories nearly every day, and it's because you barely eat any real food. It's all sweetened beverages and junk food. I'm not sure what your mother has to do with that.

If you would switch to drinking water, you'd be at your goal. If you don't like plain water, there is sugar-free flavored water, sugar-free iced tea and diet soda, all which have no calories.

You also aren't making any effort to lighten your foods. Instead of all the fried chicken, you could have chosen grilled chicken. Instead of potato salad, you could have had a salad. You could have chosen regular cheerios instead of honey nut cheerios. Instead of pretzels and doughnuts for lunch, you could have had a sandwich or tuna with a salad. Instead of 2 large sausage biscuits and iced tea for breakfast at McDonald's, you could have had an egg mcmuffin, a fruit and yogurt parfait and a serving of 1% milk. Or oatmeal and apple slices and milk or water.

This is about making appropriate choices. You are the only one who can do that for yourself.

Laoch_Cailin

tidefan1784 wrote: »

I poured a glass of apple juice to take my meds with. Logged a 12 oz glass drank maybe 2. My mom poured the rest out! Why would she do that? I swear she is out to get me. I bought fruit and chicken for the first time in months and specifically told her it was for weight loss. She has been in three different doc offices with me where each doc or NP said to lose weight yet she's doing everything she can to sabatoge me. I can't cook my own meals because I can't stand long enough to do so. I started searching Pinterest for crock pot meals because I can handle that but she pitches a fit about everything! Your dad won't eat that, that sounds gross, blah blah blah! I just want to give up already because of her! No, its not feasible to move out because of my health problems and financial reasons. My therapist and psychiatrist both said she is literally killing me physically, emotionally, and financially.

If these professionals have stated that someone is literally killing you then surely they should be able to help you put yourself in a safe place.

Also I'm sure your mom isn't forcefeeding you masses and masses of food. Try reducing portions, eating things that are easy to prepare for yourself (salads, soups, stir-fries etc). Cook for yourself and cut out/down on the sugary calorie ladden drinks.

Good luck

sheldonklein

Stop feeding the trolls

Velum_cado

You need to suck it up. Yes, it can be frustrating to not have the support of people around you, but ultimately, no one decides what, or how much food goes in your body except you. You need to forget the whole notion of diet sabotage. It sounds like your mom is a convenient excuse for the choices you are ultimately making.

For example, like a lot of people have pointed out, you're basically drinking sugar. What is stopping you from sometimes choosing to drink water instead? You mom may have poured out your juice, but that doesn't mean you didn't have healthier options.

The most important, and first step in weight loss is being really bloody honest with yourself about how you've got to the weight you are, and why you make the choices you make. It doesn't sound like you've done that. I'd start there.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Gmtribble90

I had the issue of my mother taking control over groceries and dinners. When I asked her for certain diet items, she would just not get them and tell me they had none of it (like seriously...what grocery store doesn't have baby spinach, canned tuna, and tomatoes?). Anyway, I started going with her and buying my own stuff and making my own meals at home, telling her that she will have to just cook for one less person. She tries to get me to eat her meals (and I do every once in a while...pretty sparingly), but for the most part, I just tell her no and I need to watch what I put in my body.

dbmata

OP should come back and tell us how she is proceeding in protecting herself by spreading her wings.

myheartsabattleground

user deactivated.

dbmata

because the cake is a lie.

nutmegoreo

tidefan1784 wrote: »

My therapist and psychiatrist both said she is literally killing me physically, emotionally, and financially.

I am not certain how someone literally kills another person financially and emotionally, but anyone I have seen where someone has literally tried to kill someone physically there are police involved and usually wounds of some sort. Additionally, I believe (although I could be wrong) that when someone is physically in danger (literally) that is one of the few times where client confidentiality is not maintained.