Emotional Dessert Eating?

malavika413

This is honestly just a vent. It'll probably sound like a spew of nonsense, but I just need to say it.

I'm an emotional eater, specifically an emotional eater of sweets. I eat 2-3 desserts daily, and not little ones either. Most of the time they fit into my calorie goals--because I eat very small portions of real food to make room for the dessert. I'm always hungry as a result, dessert isn't very filling. My boyfriend is disgusted by my eating habits and keeps telling me to eat more real food, so I won't need dessert. But if I do this, I feel he'll call me a cow for eating a whole plate of food. (He never has, I know I'm being illogical, but still). Sometimes I end up eating secretly or hiding food, and it's never healthy food either.

I know the easy answer is 'stop eating dessert', but most days my dessert is what I look forward to in a day. I go through all day just hating where I am and what I'm doing, and I look forward to a cookie or brownie or piece of pie. It doesn't help that I'm a notoriously picky eater and can't stand 80% of the food in my dining hall.

I don't know what I'm really asking here. How do you control the desire to eat emotionally? Is eating all this dessert okay as long as it fits in my calorie goal?

malavika413

Additionally, friends of mine are worrying that I have an eating disorder. But I eat normal amounts of food, nor do I puke up what I've eaten. I think it's just an unhealthy relationship with food, not a disorder. Is my understanding correct?

Biggirllittledreams

In all honesty, whether or not it's an eating disoder depends upon a lot of factors: how frequently you have this experience, how intesne the emotional aspects are, how out of control you feel around desserts, etc. People often confuse Binge Eating Disorder with over-eating (understandably as they're rather similar and hard to tease apart), which is why it's best to consult a nutritionist/therapist/doctor/etc., if you have the resources to do so. Puking up what you've eaten is only indicitative of Bulimia - so you could still have Anorexia, OSFED, BED, etc., even if you don't vomit (i'm saying that hypotheticaly, that is). If you're even questioning things, i really do urge you to see a doctor to err on the side of caution.

You also want to make sure that you're not reaching for sweets speficically rather due to deprivation, a food intolerance/allergy, etc. There are people who have diagnoses of eating disorders, who are later on tested only to find out that their erratic eating patterns and cravings are in-fact not emotionaly based, but instead due to the deficiencies caused by allergies/intolerances. If you're reaching for sugar due to a deprivation in your diet and over-eating, it would be simply due to the fact that you're rather not satisfying your sweet cravings throughout the day (whch you can do with sweet fruits or small pieces of candy if you want to have a larger dessert after dinner), or it may be indicitative of the fact that you're simply not consuming enough calories - since sugar = a ton of energy for your body, and a quick fix at that. The problem is, sugars of the sort you're raching for cause a spike then crash, and aren't really long-term sustainable sources of sugar.

There are just so many factors, and things that could be causing such a problem. Try to educate yourself about Binge Eating Disorder (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is helpful for such), nutrition, food intolerances and such, and reach out for some medical assistance since it could be ANY of the above issues, or even another. You know? :P Also feel free to add me if you'd like - since i've been in the same boat. I'm always happy to provide support mutual support for those struggling with the same situations or at least ones similar to what i was dealing with. Best of luck!

sparklefrogz

This is timely for me. I eat sweet things emotionally too (particularly creamy things like ice cream and cheesecake), and I'm in a stressful period where this is causing me to gain back weight I'd previously lost.

Obviously you'll want to work on your relationship with your emotions and food longer term. It's a journey I'm on too. In the meantime, though, here are some "management techniques" I've used to help me lose weight while I work on the other stuff:

1. eat mindfully. By paying attention to what I'm eating, how it tastes/smells, etc. I get the same intensity of sensory experience after eating a smaller portion of the food while not feeling any deprivation.
2. take time to figure out what exactly I'm craving -- and don't use a "substitute" food if my craving item isn't convenient/available. (I'll just end up eventually getting the original craving food and eating it too.)
3. take time to figure out why I'm craving. Just realizing that I'm bored/lonely/sad/stressed because of situation X gives me the option to choose whether or not I really want to deal with it by eating a turnover, or if there is something else that would make me feel better instead. (Eating still wins out as the best option a lot of the time, but at least I'm conscious of what I'm doing and why.)
4. notwithstanding #2, see what I /can/ substitute to make a recipe lower cal without affecting the taste or texture. Or try some new brand, or a new store to see if there is a lower cal version of something premade that I normally get.

Biggirllittledreams

malavika413 wrote: »

My boyfriend is disgusted by my eating habits and keeps telling me to eat more real food, so I won't need dessert. But if I do this, I feel he'll call me a cow for eating a whole plate of food. (He never has, I know I'm being illogical, but still). Sometimes I end up eating secretly or hiding food, and it's never healthy food either.

As another side note - i'm not a doctor so take this with a grain of salt - these are signs of the sorts of body image & food struggles that tend to go along with eating disorders. So please do be careful! Your boyfriend seems to be worried, so tap into that support if need be (if possible that is).

Francl27

I suggest seeing a nutritionist or something. I LOVE dessert and I have a major sweet tooth, but I hate being hungry more than I love dessert, so typically I try to fill up on veggies.

malavika413

Francl27 wrote: »

I suggest seeing a nutritionist or something. I LOVE dessert and I have a major sweet tooth, but I hate being hungry more than I love dessert, so typically I try to fill up on veggies.

I've been to a dietitian and she didn't help at all. But yes, I do know I have an issue with food. Dessert has always been a source of comfort for me, and I feel jittery and incomplete if I end a meal without something sweet.

michaeljeber

Many years ago I began studying Taiqui. My instructor was great and we frequently had discussions about eating. His basic rule of thumb is to aim for everything in moderation. I can empathize with your situation because I feel that a meal just isn't complete until I have something sweet afterwards. So put moderation in practice. Design a list of meals that will give you primarily protein and complex carbs (1/4 pound of meat and one or two vegetables) then when you want the dessert try to have half of what you would normally eat. Eat it slower. Savor each bite. Give that protein and carbs a chance to kick in. And as you do this, remind yourself that you are starting a track towards lowering your glycemic index and preventing development of diabetes. Trust me, you do not want to start down that path and your diet is putting you down that path.

You took the time to post your experience. You obviously want to take steps forward. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is put yourself in a different state than you are now. Because right now you are comfortable. TIME TO MOVE OUT OF THAT COMFORT ZONE.

roromiya

taking a multivitamin every morning and night drastically cut my urges to eat sweets. I still have them sometimes (once every few days). Have you tried drinking tea to curb your sweet tooth? you can make them really tasty with coffee creamers that usually satisfies any cravings I may have for junk food. Also, its nice and hot so makes you feel full.

This probably isnt the most helpful but I too have a weak spot for sweet things and I have found that for myself it's useless to try to cut them out completely but instead I just changed the kinds of sweet foods that I eat. Like replacing cookies and cakes with puddings.

Francl27

Can you get sugar free jello or something? Or some light and fit yogurt? I know the feeling though.

malavika413

roromiya wrote: »

taking a multivitamin every morning and night drastically cut my urges to eat sweets. I still have them sometimes (once every few days). Have you tried drinking tea to curb your sweet tooth? you can make them really tasty with coffee creamers that usually satisfies any cravings I may have for junk food. Also, its nice and hot so makes you feel full.

This probably isnt the most helpful but I too have a weak spot for sweet things and I have found that for myself it's useless to try to cut them out completely but instead I just changed the kinds of sweet foods that I eat. Like replacing cookies and cakes with puddings.

I don't drink tea or coffee, but yes, replacing foods is a good idea. I find that a tablespoon of peanut butter is sometimes enough to curb cravings (it was the case today at lunch)

malavika413

Francl27 wrote: »

Can you get sugar free jello or something? Or some light and fit yogurt? I know the feeling though.

Sometimes I get 100 cal greek yogurt, but jello isn't available here.

lorib642

malavika413 wrote: »

Additionally, friends of mine are worrying that I have an eating disorder. But I eat normal amounts of food, nor do I puke up what I've eaten. I think it's just an unhealthy relationship with food, not a disorder. Is my understanding correct?

purging after meals is just one type of eating disorder. Do your friends have any suggestions or are they just worried?

I can't add anything more to what has already been posted.

malavika413

lorib642 wrote: »

malavika413 wrote: »

Additionally, friends of mine are worrying that I have an eating disorder. But I eat normal amounts of food, nor do I puke up what I've eaten. I think it's just an unhealthy relationship with food, not a disorder. Is my understanding correct?

purging after meals is just one type of eating disorder. Do your friends have any suggestions or are they just worried?

I can't add anything more to what has already been posted.

I think they're just worried because sometimes I can't eat anything because the food is intimidating (the dining hall is a giant buffet) and sometimes I just stuff my face with cake or pie.

Francl27

Well finding the food intimidating is not a good sign... I would really go see a counselor.

malavika413

Francl27 wrote: »

Well finding the food intimidating is not a good sign... I would really go see a counselor.

I'm scheduled to see one next week.

malavika413

Biggirllittledreams wrote: »

In all honesty, whether or not it's an eating disoder depends upon a lot of factors: how frequently you have this experience, how intesne the emotional aspects are, how out of control you feel around desserts, etc. People often confuse Binge Eating Disorder with over-eating (understandably as they're rather similar and hard to tease apart), which is why it's best to consult a nutritionist/therapist/doctor/etc., if you have the resources to do so. Puking up what you've eaten is only indicitative of Bulimia - so you could still have Anorexia, OSFED, BED, etc., even if you don't vomit (i'm saying that hypotheticaly, that is). If you're even questioning things, i really do urge you to see a doctor to err on the side of caution.

You also want to make sure that you're not reaching for sweets speficically rather due to deprivation, a food intolerance/allergy, etc. There are people who have diagnoses of eating disorders, who are later on tested only to find out that their erratic eating patterns and cravings are in-fact not emotionaly based, but instead due to the deficiencies caused by allergies/intolerances. If you're reaching for sugar due to a deprivation in your diet and over-eating, it would be simply due to the fact that you're rather not satisfying your sweet cravings throughout the day (whch you can do with sweet fruits or small pieces of candy if you want to have a larger dessert after dinner), or it may be indicitative of the fact that you're simply not consuming enough calories - since sugar = a ton of energy for your body, and a quick fix at that. The problem is, sugars of the sort you're raching for cause a spike then crash, and aren't really long-term sustainable sources of sugar.

There are just so many factors, and things that could be causing such a problem. Try to educate yourself about Binge Eating Disorder (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is helpful for such), nutrition, food intolerances and such, and reach out for some medical assistance since it could be ANY of the above issues, or even another. You know? :P Also feel free to add me if you'd like - since i've been in the same boat. I'm always happy to provide support mutual support for those struggling with the same situations or at least ones similar to what i was dealing with. Best of luck!

Thank you for your response! I don't have any food allergies, nor am I anorexic. The issue with my eating is that sometimes the food is intimidating and it seems like it's out to 'get' me, so I eat very little food, and then I get very hungry and reach for sugar.

LovelyMarie774

Consider that the food is there to heal you if you let it. I'm assuming that you live in a dorm (so no kitchen available) and have the standard college fare available. Grab a tray and plate on your next visit to the cafeteria, take a deep breath and visualize what you want from your food. You want it to nourish you for the day and help you function at your best. What will get you there? Foods full of nutrients. Foods that are whole and recognizable as real and unadulterated. Things that someone grew in the earth, picked from a tree, or raised by a farmer. Head to the salad bar and fill up with your favorite fresh greens if you can, then add your favorite protein like chicken or fish. Add a fruit like an apple or a banana and maybe a small packet of honey if available to drizzle on the fruit and head back to your table knowing you successfully picked out a lunch/dinner for a champion

Remember food is not out to get you, but eating dessert alone is not going to help you, instead it might leave you lacking several crucial nutrients.

olivebeanhealthy

Have you tried reading up on the ill health effects associated with sugar, and type 2 diabetes? Sometimes reading those things is enough to get me to put down the fork.

kristimason3

Substitutions are a good way to start (if you like peanut butter you should try PB2! It's got way less calories/ fat and the chocolate kind with some apple slices works great for me to curb cravings) you've gotta get the essential nutrition you need in there somewhere too! Force yourself to eat the vegetables and fruit. I have a terrible sweet tooth and have been known to be an emotional eater. Struggled with it my whole life. If I knew for sure the world would end in 3 days I'd eat nothing but donuts and cake and ice cream! But, alas, it's not the end of the world and we are only given one body to live for the rest of our lives so we've gotta take care of it. It's painful at first but after awhile of forcing the good stuff in you won't crave sugar as much. You'll still want it, but it will be more manageable. Supplements are great too. If you are a super picky eater pick up some vitamins and start there. I've started taking omega t fish oil, vitamin d3 drops and vitamin c in the mornings. A friend gave them to me and I have been happy with the results. Not only am I dropping weight faster but my hair and nails have taken a serious turn for the better. There are some great documentaries on Netflix about sugar addiction and clean eating that are pretty motivating too. Good luck!

malavika413

kristimason3 wrote: »

Substitutions are a good way to start (if you like peanut butter you should try PB2! It's got way less calories/ fat and the chocolate kind with some apple slices works great for me to curb cravings) you've gotta get the essential nutrition you need in there somewhere too! Force yourself to eat the vegetables and fruit. I have a terrible sweet tooth and have been known to be an emotional eater. Struggled with it my whole life. If I knew for sure the world would end in 3 days I'd eat nothing but donuts and cake and ice cream! But, alas, it's not the end of the world and we are only given one body to live for the rest of our lives so we've gotta take care of it. It's painful at first but after awhile of forcing the good stuff in you won't crave sugar as much. You'll still want it, but it will be more manageable. Supplements are great too. If you are a super picky eater pick up some vitamins and start there. I've started taking omega t fish oil, vitamin d3 drops and vitamin c in the mornings. A friend gave them to me and I have been happy with the results. Not only am I dropping weight faster but my hair and nails have taken a serious turn for the better. There are some great documentaries on Netflix about sugar addiction and clean eating that are pretty motivating too. Good luck!

I do eat a few vegetables, not many fruits available where I am. Only apples and bananas, which I eat occasionally. My issue is entree courses--I'm not used to American food and find most of the options quite tasteless, salty, or otherwise unappetizing. For instance, I hate ALL thanksgiving food.

LilyandO

Hi there,

Absolutely understand what you are going through - I used to have/have a massive sweet tooth and here are some of the things that came to my mind while I read your posts:

- what is emotion behind the eating? what do you feel when you crave the sugar? are you going thru a tough phase or are battling childhood issues that "seem" to go away when you eat sugar? I think its worth looking into this, so yes, a therapist would really help.

- do you have the option of cooking your own food if you dont like whats in the canteen/buffet? I think if you had more of the food you liked (for eg. if I dont Indian food atleast 2 times a week, I go bat crazy and lose the plot)

- Multivitamins, esp magnesium as it helps curb sugar cravings

- Replace one dessert a day with full-fat yoghurt and fruit (low fat anything tends to have more sugar, so best avoided)..and then in a few weeks, replace the second dessert with 2-3 dates

- Mindful when you think about and express your thoughts about food. It is not out to get you. Eat many meals during the day, a full breakfast with protein and little snacks between meals. DONT go hungry, the sugar pangs will go insane.

Sugar is addictive just like drugs, so your body will hate it and hate you for it. Make small changes, be mindful and do the best you can. You wont always succeed but you will start to see a healthier mindset and patterns.

Good luck!