How to deal with high metabolism roommates?
heychristyna
Posts: 4
My two roommates are both the type that can eat ANYTHING without gaining weight. Me, not so much. I've gained over ten pounds living with them for less than 5 months. I need to make a change, but its really just not easy with all the temptation around. On one hand, I've come to much more body acceptance since living with them, and shaken off a lot of my disordered eating habits but I think the scales have tipped a little too far in the "eat anything" direction as of late. I'm back on here monitoring my intake now, but that is also really hard in a household where the status quo is to eat whenever the urge strikes up and there aren't really set "meals" that are easy to monitor. We're kind of grazers.
Anyone have any advice on how to put blinders on to an environment where eating 3 quesadillas a day is commonplace?
Anyone have any advice on how to put blinders on to an environment where eating 3 quesadillas a day is commonplace?
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Personal responsibility.0
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They can eat anything without gaining because they are eating at maintenance. For all you know, they only eat a lot when with other people and then eat almost nothing otherwise. Or they are primarily eating nutrient-dense foods, whcih are low in calories. OR they are very active overall and thus have a higher TDEE.
Suck it up, figure out your maintenance needs, eat to that to maintain or eat below that to lose.
Also eating 3 quesadillas in a day isn't going to make someone gain weight if that's all they are eating. So if that's all your roommates eat, of course they haven't gained weight.0 -
You don't need to match what your roommates are eating plate for plate. And just stop grazing if you're finding that difficult to monitor. Prepare your own meals at times and most importantly in quantities that suit you. As an example, my husband eats at maintenance. We eat the same food, only difference is I have smaller portions that fit within my own goals. So one quesadilla instead of three, to use your example.
ETA: In the early days, I moved all of his snack foods into their own cabinet so I didn't need to look at them every time I opened it to get something else.0 -
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It's good practice. Later in life you may live with someone who can eat a lot more than you, and have kids who can as well. A lot of us buy and cook food for others that we don't even share in.
At some point you have to take on your own eating, regardless of who's eating other things, other portions or at other times around you.
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WalkingAlong wrote: »It's good practice. Later in life you may live with someone who can eat a lot more than you, and have kids who can as well. A lot of us buy and cook food for others that we don't even share in.
At some point you have to take on your own eating, regardless of who's eating other things, other portions or at other times around you.
Very good advice! This is the boat i am in now. My kids eat like growing elephants. My BF has proven that he can eat huge quantities of food and move very little while gaining nothing even though he is a little guy.0 -
Self control?0
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As most have stated, it's your responsibility to NOT eat as much. Different ways of doing it is just prepping your own food.
And there's really no such thing as "high metabolism" people. It may be higher than yours, but they are obviously eating just enough to sustain theirs. Guaranteed if they over ate, they would gain weight too.
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Yes, I've read that most people that are perceived as 'eating all they want' really are just eating less overall than the people around them think because they eat infrequent but high calorie meals, or they're just active.0
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You need to eat within your own needs, not compare yourself to them.
Nobody has such high metabolism that they can eat anything they want, unless there is something medically wrong that needs attention.
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If grazing does not suit your own plan, set meal times for yourself.0
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Your room mates might use more calories by being more active than you rather than higher metabolisms. Or miss occasional meals or snacks that you're not missing? It's easy to blame those around you for facilitating your weight gain but they're not force feeding you and you'll soon learn using this site what you need and what you merely want!0
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Maybe have smaller portions. Less quesadillas if they are too calorie laden. Grazing doesn't work well for me. I do better if I have an actual meal. Otherwise I snack a lot because I am still hungry.0
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vinegar_husbands wrote: »There is no such thing as a naturally fast metabolism that allows someone to eat like a pig and not gain weight. In fact, overweight people tend to have faster metabolisms because they need to pump more blood and nutrients through their bigger bodies. They also have more leptin (due to having more fat cells), the hormone responsible for weight loss.
Your roommates' caloric intake is less than yours and/or they exercise more, except they eat crappy food. Simple as that.
They could just be bigger too. Metabolism does vary.
A 25 year old, 5'2 woman at 120, who exercises 3 times a week, is estimated at around 1700. A 25 year old, 5'8 woman at 160, who exercises the same amount, is estimated at around 2100.
Of course, as others have said, this is a good reason to practice, since averages being what they are, a heterosexual woman is likely to spend significant time living with or married to a man who has a significantly higher maintenance. It is really easy to start eating similarly to those you spend a lot of time with if you aren't careful.
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Don't compare yourself to others or base your own feelings on other people's plans, progress, etc. Focus on you and doing the best you can. You aren't losing someone else's weight!
There will always be someone who has it easier and someone who has it harder. So what. 0 -
I have to ask....and I'm assuming that by them eating anything you believe they are eating in excess? Do you know for a fact that every day, all day, they eat in excess? Not very many people have a true fast metabolism. I'm wondering if it only appears they can eat anything but really they aren't eating anything during the times they aren't with you i.e. skipping breakfast and or lunch and they are getting more activity either through their job, playing sports or exercising. I know in the past when I was thin and active it took a lot longer for all that to catch up to me but right now I'm out of shape and overweight so it seems like everything I put in my body will make me gain weight. Sometimes I feel like if I even look at lettuce leaf I'll gain weight.0
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Is it really so hard for people to believe that some people have a higher BMR than others? It's an actually fact people, geez. My husband is 171lbs and 6'3". He drinks atleast six cans of soda a day, he slathers everything in butter and salt, he eats bread like it's going out of style...when I started calorie counting I counted one of his typical days for funzies (and he asks me to) and he was around 5k! Yes, he does work a physical job, (He lifts heavy things on to a pallet and drives a pallet jack around 6-8 hours five days a week) but the rest of the time he is sitting on his butt playing computer games. But if you don't believe me about my husband you could always...I don't know...read some documented research on differences in BMR. (There are also people with lower than average BMR's too btw.)
To the OP...I've been navigating my way through this tricky maze myself. My husband is always eating something tasty and always I want it. I've learned to save my calories for a treat when I'm around him and when he's eating his mozzarella sticks or peanut butter cups I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwhich. Good luck!
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heychristyna wrote: »My two roommates are both the type that can eat ANYTHING without gaining weight. Me, not so much. I've gained over ten pounds living with them for less than 5 months. I need to make a change, but its really just not easy with all the temptation around. On one hand, I've come to much more body acceptance since living with them, and shaken off a lot of my disordered eating habits but I think the scales have tipped a little too far in the "eat anything" direction as of late. I'm back on here monitoring my intake now, but that is also really hard in a household where the status quo is to eat whenever the urge strikes up and there aren't really set "meals" that are easy to monitor. We're kind of grazers.
Anyone have any advice on how to put blinders on to an environment where eating 3 quesadillas a day is commonplace?
Stop blaming your roommates for your eating habits and take responsibility for your choices.
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Everyone is different and you can't compare your body's differences in needs with theirs. Believe me my 14 year old daughter can eat constantly and not gain a pound, where I have but to look at it. It comes down to you having self control and making the choice to bypass it when you've met your daily calories.0
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lilmisfit1987 wrote: »Is it really so hard for people to believe that some people have a higher BMR than others? It's an actually fact people, geez. My husband is 171lbs and 6'3". He drinks atleast six cans of soda a day, he slathers everything in butter and salt, he eats bread like it's going out of style...when I started calorie counting I counted one of his typical days for funzies (and he asks me to) and he was around 5k! Yes, he does work a physical job, (He lifts heavy things on to a pallet and drives a pallet jack around 6-8 hours five days a week) but the rest of the time he is sitting on his butt playing computer games. But if you don't believe me about my husband you could always...I don't know...read some documented research on differences in BMR. (There are also people with lower than average BMR's too btw.)
To the OP...I've been navigating my way through this tricky maze myself. My husband is always eating something tasty and always I want it. I've learned to save my calories for a treat when I'm around him and when he's eating his mozzarella sticks or peanut butter cups I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwhich. Good luck!
:laugh:
Though I believe some folk may have higher BMR than others, you do realize his activity that the does for 6-8 hours before sitting on his butt all day is probably what I would do in a 1-2 hour intense exercise session and be screaming for Mommy afterwards? :bigsmile: Your answer was in your own post
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Keep your eyes on your own plate. Don't concern yourself with what other people are eating.
Don't eat meals with them if their eating habits bother you so much. They aren't your spouse or children. You don't have to share mealtime with them. Eat at a different time or eat in your room.
Plan your meals for the week in advance. Log your food for the day in advance. You will make better choices if you have a plan instead of going with the flow.
Measure your portions. Don't feel deprived or pitiful. You can eat the exact same foods just not the same portions. Use a smaller plate. Maybe you'll decide you want a bigger plate of food filled with lower calorie foods.You don't have to starve yourself to lose weight. If you have your calorie goal figured right for you then you should not really be hungry after eating to your limit. If you want to eat more, then exercise more.
Drink water most of the time.
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heychristyna wrote: »My two roommates are both the type that can eat ANYTHING without gaining weight. Me, not so much. I've gained over ten pounds living with them for less than 5 months. I need to make a change, but its really just not easy with all the temptation around. On one hand, I've come to much more body acceptance since living with them, and shaken off a lot of my disordered eating habits but I think the scales have tipped a little too far in the "eat anything" direction as of late. I'm back on here monitoring my intake now, but that is also really hard in a household where the status quo is to eat whenever the urge strikes up and there aren't really set "meals" that are easy to monitor. We're kind of grazers.
Anyone have any advice on how to put blinders on to an environment where eating 3 quesadillas a day is commonplace?
If they were shooting heroin would you? No, so dont let their lifestyle choices take away from what you want in your life and if its too hard , just leave good luck0 -
lilmisfit1987 wrote: »Is it really so hard for people to believe that some people have a higher BMR than others? It's an actually fact people, geez. My husband is 171lbs and 6'3". He drinks atleast six cans of soda a day, he slathers everything in butter and salt, he eats bread like it's going out of style...when I started calorie counting I counted one of his typical days for funzies (and he asks me to) and he was around 5k! Yes, he does work a physical job, (He lifts heavy things on to a pallet and drives a pallet jack around 6-8 hours five days a week) but the rest of the time he is sitting on his butt playing computer games. But if you don't believe me about my husband you could always...I don't know...read some documented research on differences in BMR. (There are also people with lower than average BMR's too btw.)
To the OP...I've been navigating my way through this tricky maze myself. My husband is always eating something tasty and always I want it. I've learned to save my calories for a treat when I'm around him and when he's eating his mozzarella sticks or peanut butter cups I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwhich. Good luck!
And all of that physical activity at work, being at least 30hrs a week of likely moderate to intense activity, greatly increases his TDEE.
His BMR is no lower or higher than others with his stats, on average. His TDEE however, due to his extra activity, is higher. Hence he can eat more and not gain weight.0 -
Agreed. A lot of online calorie calculators (including MFP) underestimate my maintenance calories by at least 200, and yet I'm actually sedentary. I'm pretty certain that per pound, I'm maintaining on more calories than a lot of other sedentary people.lilmisfit1987 wrote: »Is it really so hard for people to believe that some people have a higher BMR than others? It's an actually fact people, geez. My husband is 171lbs and 6'3". He drinks atleast six cans of soda a day, he slathers everything in butter and salt, he eats bread like it's going out of style...when I started calorie counting I counted one of his typical days for funzies (and he asks me to) and he was around 5k! Yes, he does work a physical job, (He lifts heavy things on to a pallet and drives a pallet jack around 6-8 hours five days a week) but the rest of the time he is sitting on his butt playing computer games. But if you don't believe me about my husband you could always...I don't know...read some documented research on differences in BMR. (There are also people with lower than average BMR's too btw.)
To the OP...I've been navigating my way through this tricky maze myself. My husband is always eating something tasty and always I want it. I've learned to save my calories for a treat when I'm around him and when he's eating his mozzarella sticks or peanut butter cups I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwhich. Good luck!
Keep in mind that almost every online calorie calculator would suggest that even with a very active lifestyle, he would need at the very most 4,000 calories (more like 3800 or less). But yet, she's saying he's eating a good bit more than that.ana3067 wrote:His BMR is no lower or higher than others with his stats, on average. His TDEE however, due to his extra activity, is higher. Hence he can eat more and not gain weight.
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Though having your girlfriend count up your intake for a day can probably encourage you to eat more that day. Or exaggerate your intake, in your report to her.ForecasterJason wrote: »Keep in mind that almost every online calorie calculator would suggest that even with a very active lifestyle, he would need at the very most 4,000 calories (more like 3800 or less). But yet, she's saying he's eating a good bit more than that.
Outside the world of calorie counting, I think most people have a high variance in their day to day intake, too. If I post-count, I do. You might eat 70% of TDEE for a day or two, then 130%. If you just sample one of those day and assume every other day is just like it, it's a bad estimate.
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I have 3 friends and a sister that can eat anything. I'm over here eating a salad and look a cookie and bam! Gain 3lbs. Lol it is hard being around them but everyone has there limits.0
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What do people keep saying "Such and such can eat ANYTHING and not gain weight!". Anybody can eat "ANYTHING" and not gain weight.
Just because you see somebody eating foods you mistakenly believe inherently cause weight gain does not mean they're overeating them every single day in excess of their TDEE.
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Exactly. They're not eating like that every day, because if they were they would gain weight.Iwishyouwell wrote: »What do people keep saying "Such and such can eat ANYTHING and not gain weight!". Anybody can eat "ANYTHING" and not gain weight.
Just because you see somebody eating foods you mistakenly believe inherently cause weight gain does not mean they're overeating them every single day in excess of their TDEE.
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