How to deal with high metabolism roommates?

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My two roommates are both the type that can eat ANYTHING without gaining weight. Me, not so much. I've gained over ten pounds living with them for less than 5 months. I need to make a change, but its really just not easy with all the temptation around. On one hand, I've come to much more body acceptance since living with them, and shaken off a lot of my disordered eating habits but I think the scales have tipped a little too far in the "eat anything" direction as of late. I'm back on here monitoring my intake now, but that is also really hard in a household where the status quo is to eat whenever the urge strikes up and there aren't really set "meals" that are easy to monitor. We're kind of grazers.

Anyone have any advice on how to put blinders on to an environment where eating 3 quesadillas a day is commonplace?
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Replies

  • leggup
    leggup Posts: 2,942 Member
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    Personal responsibility.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    They can eat anything without gaining because they are eating at maintenance. For all you know, they only eat a lot when with other people and then eat almost nothing otherwise. Or they are primarily eating nutrient-dense foods, whcih are low in calories. OR they are very active overall and thus have a higher TDEE.

    Suck it up, figure out your maintenance needs, eat to that to maintain or eat below that to lose.

    Also eating 3 quesadillas in a day isn't going to make someone gain weight if that's all they are eating. So if that's all your roommates eat, of course they haven't gained weight.
  • lolly715
    lolly715 Posts: 106
    edited November 2014
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    You don't need to match what your roommates are eating plate for plate. And just stop grazing if you're finding that difficult to monitor. Prepare your own meals at times and most importantly in quantities that suit you. As an example, my husband eats at maintenance. We eat the same food, only difference is I have smaller portions that fit within my own goals. So one quesadilla instead of three, to use your example.

    ETA: In the early days, I moved all of his snack foods into their own cabinet so I didn't need to look at them every time I opened it to get something else.
  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    It's good practice. Later in life you may live with someone who can eat a lot more than you, and have kids who can as well. A lot of us buy and cook food for others that we don't even share in.

    At some point you have to take on your own eating, regardless of who's eating other things, other portions or at other times around you. :)
  • CarrieCans
    CarrieCans Posts: 381 Member
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    It's good practice. Later in life you may live with someone who can eat a lot more than you, and have kids who can as well. A lot of us buy and cook food for others that we don't even share in.

    At some point you have to take on your own eating, regardless of who's eating other things, other portions or at other times around you. :)

    Very good advice! This is the boat i am in now. My kids eat like growing elephants. My BF has proven that he can eat huge quantities of food and move very little while gaining nothing even though he is a little guy.
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
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    Self control?
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,704 Member
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    As most have stated, it's your responsibility to NOT eat as much. Different ways of doing it is just prepping your own food.
    And there's really no such thing as "high metabolism" people. It may be higher than yours, but they are obviously eating just enough to sustain theirs. Guaranteed if they over ate, they would gain weight too.

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  • WalkingAlong
    WalkingAlong Posts: 4,926 Member
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    Yes, I've read that most people that are perceived as 'eating all they want' really are just eating less overall than the people around them think because they eat infrequent but high calorie meals, or they're just active.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    You need to eat within your own needs, not compare yourself to them.

    Nobody has such high metabolism that they can eat anything they want, unless there is something medically wrong that needs attention.

  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    If grazing does not suit your own plan, set meal times for yourself.
  • WaterBunnie
    WaterBunnie Posts: 1,370 Member
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    Your room mates might use more calories by being more active than you rather than higher metabolisms. Or miss occasional meals or snacks that you're not missing? It's easy to blame those around you for facilitating your weight gain but they're not force feeding you and you'll soon learn using this site what you need and what you merely want!
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    Maybe have smaller portions. Less quesadillas if they are too calorie laden. Grazing doesn't work well for me. I do better if I have an actual meal. Otherwise I snack a lot because I am still hungry.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    edited November 2014
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    There is no such thing as a naturally fast metabolism that allows someone to eat like a pig and not gain weight. In fact, overweight people tend to have faster metabolisms because they need to pump more blood and nutrients through their bigger bodies. They also have more leptin (due to having more fat cells), the hormone responsible for weight loss.

    Your roommates' caloric intake is less than yours and/or they exercise more, except they eat crappy food. Simple as that.

    They could just be bigger too. Metabolism does vary.

    A 25 year old, 5'2 woman at 120, who exercises 3 times a week, is estimated at around 1700. A 25 year old, 5'8 woman at 160, who exercises the same amount, is estimated at around 2100.

    Of course, as others have said, this is a good reason to practice, since averages being what they are, a heterosexual woman is likely to spend significant time living with or married to a man who has a significantly higher maintenance. It is really easy to start eating similarly to those you spend a lot of time with if you aren't careful.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    lorib642 wrote: »
    Grazing doesn't work well for me. I do better if I have an actual meal.

    Same here. I will always eat far more calories that way, without really appreciating them. I'd just eat regular meals and not join the other roommates in the grazing.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,626 Member
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    Don't compare yourself to others or base your own feelings on other people's plans, progress, etc. Focus on you and doing the best you can. You aren't losing someone else's weight!

    There will always be someone who has it easier and someone who has it harder. So what.

    :)
  • LettingTheSmallStuffGo
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    I have to ask....and I'm assuming that by them eating anything you believe they are eating in excess? Do you know for a fact that every day, all day, they eat in excess? Not very many people have a true fast metabolism. I'm wondering if it only appears they can eat anything but really they aren't eating anything during the times they aren't with you i.e. skipping breakfast and or lunch and they are getting more activity either through their job, playing sports or exercising. I know in the past when I was thin and active it took a lot longer for all that to catch up to me but right now I'm out of shape and overweight so it seems like everything I put in my body will make me gain weight. Sometimes I feel like if I even look at lettuce leaf I'll gain weight.
  • lilmisfit1987
    lilmisfit1987 Posts: 183 Member
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    Is it really so hard for people to believe that some people have a higher BMR than others? It's an actually fact people, geez. My husband is 171lbs and 6'3". He drinks atleast six cans of soda a day, he slathers everything in butter and salt, he eats bread like it's going out of style...when I started calorie counting I counted one of his typical days for funzies (and he asks me to) and he was around 5k! Yes, he does work a physical job, (He lifts heavy things on to a pallet and drives a pallet jack around 6-8 hours five days a week) but the rest of the time he is sitting on his butt playing computer games. But if you don't believe me about my husband you could always...I don't know...read some documented research on differences in BMR. (There are also people with lower than average BMR's too btw.)

    To the OP...I've been navigating my way through this tricky maze myself. My husband is always eating something tasty and always I want it. I've learned to save my calories for a treat when I'm around him and when he's eating his mozzarella sticks or peanut butter cups I have a skinny cow ice cream sandwhich. :smile: Good luck!

  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    My two roommates are both the type that can eat ANYTHING without gaining weight. Me, not so much. I've gained over ten pounds living with them for less than 5 months. I need to make a change, but its really just not easy with all the temptation around. On one hand, I've come to much more body acceptance since living with them, and shaken off a lot of my disordered eating habits but I think the scales have tipped a little too far in the "eat anything" direction as of late. I'm back on here monitoring my intake now, but that is also really hard in a household where the status quo is to eat whenever the urge strikes up and there aren't really set "meals" that are easy to monitor. We're kind of grazers.

    Anyone have any advice on how to put blinders on to an environment where eating 3 quesadillas a day is commonplace?

    Stop blaming your roommates for your eating habits and take responsibility for your choices.