How to be fit in a close-minded family?

strawterri

For years prior to a fit life I was always eating anything and everything. Since I started being fit, I've lost a lot of weight and I feel good about myself however my parents don't seem to care or appreciate that. I'm constantly picked on and teased for what I'm eating and the healthy food I have in the fridge is normally taken out and I feel like I'm forced to eat food I do not enjoy (my parents come home with fast food for me but I haven't eaten fast food in years)




I'm definitely not anorexic, I lift and eat a ton but I don't know what to do?

rrowdiness

One of the hard things for people to do is to understand what motivates you to be fit / lose weight / focus on your diet / calorie track. It's different from what they do, and it can be threatening and scary - someone they know, and are comfortable with, is suddenly doing these really different things that they don't really understand.

Often their referent groups - the people that they know and identify with - have the same outlook and habits as them, therefore they simply aren't aware of other lifestyles. So what you're doing is like...very weird.

Throw in the mix the fact that many people feel self-conscious about their own weight and life choices, and extend their own insecurity into silly assumptions about your actions - for instance, assuming that you're eating healthily in order to make them feel guilty about eating poorly. When you reject things that make them feel good (like fast food they bring home) you reject the familiar for them. They may then act in an odd way - not celebrating your successes, not being encouraging, or saying / doing things that hurt you. In turn, you feel self-conscious and upset despite having sacrificed and made progress.

Ultimately, what you eat and exercise is 100% about you - you are the beneficiary of all your effort, and you are the one who has to make all of the sacrifices. You, too, are responsible for how you react to the way they react.

Let them know that your character and person hasn't changed, and that your weight loss is completely focused on yourself - you're in this for your own lifestyle change, not anyone else's. Relate it to goals and achievements they have, and try to add context as to why it's important to you to do this. And remember: different is not the same as wrong. This applies to your approach to life, too.

CannonWhale

I feel your pain! My mother was offended the other day when she made a plate for me for supper. I weigh my meals as if it were a religion, so when I took out my scale and another plate so that I coould weigh the food, she put her hands on her hips shook her head and said that she doesn't understand me......
Just stick to your guns and it will be fine, you know what you have to do for you!

yoovie

Understand that closed minded people don't give a crap about the goals of other people, so they won't support you and they probably really don't care. People care about their own priorities first and knowing that someone else happens to be on a diet, won't make that a priority for them, unfortunately.

It is up to us to be our own priority and to stick to our guns cause it's worth it. Being a warrior, being a success, is about doing what needs to be done when you have no audience, no support and no help.

Many of us have been through it and came out even better for it, and so will you if you decide you can't be stopped.

PRMinx

Move out?

If that's not an option, just stick to your guns. No one can force feed you.

arditarose

rrowdiness wrote: »

One of the hard things for people to do is to understand what motivates you to be fit / lose weight / focus on your diet / calorie track. It's different from what they do, and it can be threatening and scary - someone they know, and are comfortable with, is suddenly doing these really different things that they don't really understand.

Often their referent groups - the people that they know and identify with - have the same outlook and habits as them, therefore they simply aren't aware of other lifestyles. So what you're doing is like...very weird.

Throw in the mix the fact that many people feel self-conscious about their own weight and life choices, and extend their own insecurity into silly assumptions about your actions - for instance, assuming that you're eating healthily in order to make them feel guilty about eating poorly. When you reject things that make them feel good (like fast food they bring home) you reject the familiar for them. They may then act in an odd way - not celebrating your successes, not being encouraging, or saying / doing things that hurt you. In turn, you feel self-conscious and upset despite having sacrificed and made progress.

Ultimately, what you eat and exercise is 100% about you - you are the beneficiary of all your effort, and you are the one who has to make all of the sacrifices. You, too, are responsible for how you react to the way they react.

Let them know that your character and person hasn't changed, and that your weight loss is completely focused on yourself - you're in this for your own lifestyle change, not anyone else's. Relate it to goals and achievements they have, and try to add context as to why it's important to you to do this. And remember: different is not the same as wrong. This applies to your approach to life, too.

That's it! I don't see my family often, I know if I did all of this fitness and food crap would annoy them. When I go to visit I try not to dwell on it. They're over weight and I'm in the better shape than any of them have EVER been in. I don't want to make them feel bad, but it's also become a new part of my life and even a hobby, so there are certain things I want to share and do.