I lose motivation when things go wrong

Rundavey

Hi there

I was wondering if you guys have some tips for not eating when things go wrong? Basically I eat when I am depressed.

snowflake954

You have to deal wih the depression--which is the root of the problem. When depressed try new things--go for a brisk walk, do some exercise and see how you feel after. If you like art--paint something, sculpture, even doodle. Are there stories (books or mags) that you like---read a little. Do anything to distract yourself. Another good remedy is to do volunteer work which can help get your mind off your troubles. If all else fails go to counseling. Best.

Silentfool

I do the same..... I have given up tv as it usually leads to snacks. exercise raises my mood to a happier state. To escape the world completely i use video games. Occupying mind and hands keeps my mind and hands out of the sweetie cupboard.

workout_ninja

im a craft nut. I like to paint furniture and make things and i find when i become engrossed, I have to be reminded to eat! a rarity in my life! busy mind and busy hands is the key!

jenilla1

I'm no help to you. When I get like that I lose my appetite. But I can empathize. When you feel like eating, make yourself a cup of tea instead or drink a full glass of water. I've heard that sometimes that takes the edge off. Hope things turn around for you soon. If you just can't shake it or it gets worse, consider counseling.

yoovie

Motivation is another name for 'I want to'. If you realize that, than you realize that what you're saying is that, when things are difficult, you don't want to.

This is a problem you need to learn how to solve when no one is around to help, so you'll know what to do when it happens again.

sherambler

There was something I read online somewhere that I really liked. Basically they idea is that you're never not motivated. Whatever reason prompted you to start your weight loss journey (health, kids, look good naked, whatever) is always there. Your wanting to lose weight never goes away. Often, you just want 2 different and opposing things and you have to make a choice. Saying we lack motivation is just another way of denying that we have a choice. When I read this, it hit home for me. Maybe it will do the same for you. It helped me feel like no matter what, I am actually always in control, which is important to recognize because as someone who also struggles with depression, I often feel like my depression has a hold of me.

I'm someone who will often say, I was depressed/stressed/worried so I ordered take out. My therapist always comes back at me and says, what does being depressed/stressed/worried actually have to do with sticking to your goals? It's a little harsh, but true. It's not being depressed that is actually making me eat, it's my programmed response to feeling depressed that is causing me to eat. I try to keep this in mind when I'm reaching for food when I know I'm just eating emotionally.

I also agree with the others above...the key is working through the depression with a professional or at the very least reading some emotional eating workbooks that are exercise/lesson based.

jsheter

THANK YOU , Sherambler, for a great perspective! I need to be reminded of that--I am ALWAYS in control of my decisions. I have a choice every time. Thanks for the reminder.

wolverine66

when you say "depressed" to you mean, when you get a little blue, or, like, clinical depression? Because those are 2 very different animals

Wronkletoad

^^ yeah. if it is actual (clinical / diagnosed by an MD) depression then snowflake's trite advice is NOT the first step. MDD is serious business and professional help would be more appropriate than tyro comments on a web board.

good luck!!!! and good health!

snowflake954

Wronkletoad wrote: »

^^ yeah. if it is actual (clinical / diagnosed by an MD) depression then snowflake's trite advice is NOT the first step. MDD is serious business and professional help would be more appropriate than tyro comments on a web board.

good luck!!!! and good health!

You'll note that in my "trite" advice, I said to consider counseling. Also, the OP didn't give much information. Does standing on your head help you think better? Just curious.

yoovie

trite's not an attack, just an adjective :flowerforyou:

Wronkletoad

don't give advice without being a physician. it is trite advice. for someone who's sick "shake it off" style of advice may not be helpful. Play doctor when it's not someone's life.

and you should know better: since I'm on my head, I read the counseling advice first. Approved and then puked at the rest. But I'm sure Dr Oz and Oprah and House and your other sources of medical knowledge can help me out.

TossaBeanBag

Rundavey wrote: »

Hi there

I was wondering if you guys have some tips for not eating when things go wrong? Basically I eat when I am depressed.

When things go wrong, chew gum.

tulips_and_tea

sherambler wrote: »

There was something I read online somewhere that I really liked. Basically they idea is that you're never not motivated. Whatever reason prompted you to start your weight loss journey (health, kids, look good naked, whatever) is always there. Your wanting to lose weight never goes away. Often, you just want 2 different and opposing things and you have to make a choice. Saying we lack motivation is just another way of denying that we have a choice. When I read this, it hit home for me. Maybe it will do the same for you. It helped me feel like no matter what, I am actually always in control, which is important to recognize because as someone who also struggles with depression, I often feel like my depression has a hold of me.

I'm someone who will often say, I was depressed/stressed/worried so I ordered take out. My therapist always comes back at me and says, what does being depressed/stressed/worried actually have to do with sticking to your goals? It's a little harsh, but true. It's not being depressed that is actually making me eat, it's my programmed response to feeling depressed that is causing me to eat. I try to keep this in mind when I'm reaching for food when I know I'm just eating emotionally.

I also agree with the others above...the key is working through the depression with a professional or at the very least reading some emotional eating workbooks that are exercise/lesson based.

Excellent post - thank you!

snowflake954

Wronkletoad wrote: »

don't give advice without being a physician. it is trite advice. for someone who's sick "shake it off" style of advice may not be helpful. Play doctor when it's not someone's life.

and you should know better: since I'm on my head, I read the counseling advice first. Approved and then puked at the rest. But I'm sure Dr Oz and Oprah and House and your other sources of medical knowledge can help me out.

Puking while standing on your head must be really interesting----sorry to cause you such a problem. Also I live in Italy--no Oprah, OZ or House, so my advice isn't inspired by them----just life experience.

oedipa_maas

sherambler wrote: »

There was something I read online somewhere that I really liked. Basically they idea is that you're never not motivated. Whatever reason prompted you to start your weight loss journey (health, kids, look good naked, whatever) is always there. Your wanting to lose weight never goes away. Often, you just want 2 different and opposing things and you have to make a choice. Saying we lack motivation is just another way of denying that we have a choice. When I read this, it hit home for me. Maybe it will do the same for you. It helped me feel like no matter what, I am actually always in control, which is important to recognize because as someone who also struggles with depression, I often feel like my depression has a hold of me.

I'm someone who will often say, I was depressed/stressed/worried so I ordered take out. My therapist always comes back at me and says, what does being depressed/stressed/worried actually have to do with sticking to your goals? It's a little harsh, but true. It's not being depressed that is actually making me eat, it's my programmed response to feeling depressed that is causing me to eat. I try to keep this in mind when I'm reaching for food when I know I'm just eating emotionally.

I also agree with the others above...the key is working through the depression with a professional or at the very least reading some emotional eating workbooks that are exercise/lesson based.

Such a good post, and so true. I'm bipolar and really struggle with finding a reason to keep going, let alone finding a reason to lose weight. But that's just one part of who I am. I try to separate my mental illness from myself and my weight from my self worth and my illness from my power. I do have power, bolstered by medication and professional help, and I do have the ability to find replacement behaviors that can help soothe myself when I'm in pain. The trick is actually enacting those behaviors. But the first step, I find, is making a list of things that are not food related that can comfort and/or distract me. Sort of a "kit" I can turn to when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I pick something from the list and try to create new habits other than eating when I'm not hungry just because I feel bad.

As others have said, if you are dealing with major clinical depression, you have to treat things at the root. See someone who specializes in depression, if possible, and if you are open to medication, that can help too (for some….I realize not for everyone). Once you are more stabilized, it's easier to start working on the difficult task of reprogramming how you respond to depression and pain. Know, too, that you will never be perfect. And that's okay. Taking good care of yourself is not a straight road for most of us. But if you stay on the road no matter what, things will get better, I promise you. Good luck!