Getting used to the new you

AgnesXNitt

Thank goodness other people get this too!
I have lost 4 stone in weight (old school Imperial weight here in the UK!) but only joined MFP after that, so my loss scale is me maintaining.
I too have been overweight/The Fat Girl since I was 10 and am still not used to maintaining my weight loss even after almost 18 months.
I too have have had several people not recognise me, deny it is me when I'm introduced to them (again), ask if I have been or are seriously ill, ask if I am anorexic (including my own Dad) and tell me not to lose any more weight.
I feel much better than I ever have done, been 51 weeks without a cold which is a record as I regularly had 3-4 colds every year, go to 3 or 4 fitness sessions a week and have dropped from a UK size 20-22 t0 a 14-16. And drop a shoe size which no one seems to mention!
However, I am still not used to this new body that I was previously unaware was hiding under my excess weight. It is me? Pinch myself and yep, that hurts, so it must be me. Pull a funny face and the mirror reflects its, so yes, that must really be me. I think it must be because I have spent my entire life hating myself and not least what I look like so its going to take time to believe it.

jane837

I lost weight very gradually over 3.5 years, so you'd think it wouldn't be so surprising to me, but I am STILL not used to it. It's a pretty common thing for me to try on a shirt that "looks right" and turns out to be far too big for me. Or I'll find myself catching my reflection or seeing myself in a picture and being surprised at my own thinner body.

I also get constantly blindsided by how very differently the world treats me based on my physical appearance. This is the first time I've been a "normal" weight in my adult life. The positive attention sometimes feels good, but it also makes me resentful about how differently people behaved when I was fat.

seltzermint555

Reading through this thread has been very interesting to me because I felt all or most of these things everyone describes, at one time or another since I started losing weight.

Lately I feel pretty used to my body. I have lost a total of 136 lb but "only" about 30 of that in the past year so I think I've finally slowed down enough with the changes to start to feel comfortable in my body again, and used to my reflection. I have recently begun to realize that when I see photos from even 2-3 years ago it's like it can't be real and I don't remember being heavier. It's strange.

In another way, I feel younger suddenly. I am not sure why exactly but maybe it's because I was around this size as a young teen and now in my late 30's I am actually back to it again...but it's weird. I feel drastically younger. Everyone always says "don't you feel great and have more energy?" and I didn't understand it for a long time. I mean, I didn't feel so great at 300 lb. But I was honestly the same amount of energetic/hyper/comfortable at 270 lb or 190 lb -- but now at 170 I do feel really really different/better for some reason!!

thenk83

I'm not used to it. I still look in the mirror and see a big boy. It's only in pictures by way of comparison that I see a difference and by putting on my old clothes. People tell me I look different and look way younger now but I don't see it. But all I know is I'm eating way better, my blood tests have come back and I'm really healthy, and overall I feel awesome. So I'm going by that right now. All that seems to make sense more than getting used to the new me I guess.

gothchiq

About a month.... except I still am not copacetic with the loose skin and am trying to convince myself that my doctor is not full of crap and that it will shrink back. I didn't think a 30 lb loss was enough to cause this in the first place, but I'm middle aged and short so it happened anyway. booo. I would be super hot if it weren't for those bloody bat wings.

librarydebster

When you see that new body in the mirror, it's amazing almost every time. I may never take that for granted. I still have more to lose so I will see changes for some time. It may take years for me to get accustomed to the new me. I love it!

TheSatinPumpkin

Know how you feel. Its as much a mental and psychological journey as well as physical. I carry my day 1 before pics in my wallet and it always puts me in perspective. Still moments where i feel like it has been a dream esp' the first moments after waking up.

arditarose

Oh, I'm used to it. I just have to remember to buy a size smaller underwear, which I'm always forgetting to do.

HaibaneReki

TheSatinPumpkin wrote: »

Know how you feel. Its as much a mental and psychological journey as well as physical. I carry my day 1 before pics in my wallet and it always puts me in perspective. Still moments where i feel like it has been a dream esp' the first moments after waking up.

Yeah I keep my ID for that too, turns out I have my heaviest picture there

AgnesXNitt

HaibaneReki wrote: »

TheSatinPumpkin wrote: »

Know how you feel. Its as much a mental and psychological journey as well as physical. I carry my day 1 before pics in my wallet and it always puts me in perspective. Still moments where i feel like it has been a dream esp' the first moments after waking up.

Yeah I keep my ID for that too, turns out I have my heaviest picture there

The ladies in our Passes section at work won't take a new ID photo of me, so both my passes for work are the 'old' me which has got me stopped by new security check staff who don't know me from 'before' so it can be slightly embarressing. Or as my work colleague is oft to say 'Totes Awks!'!

happieharpie

After a year at my new size I'm still finding it somewhat frustrating to figure out what to wear and how to balance purchasing. I'd sure rather be buying smaller than buying larger though.

rainbow198

I've been at this for almost 2 years and I'm still not completely used to my new body after losing 80 lbs. I just don't recognize myself in photos or when catching a glimpse of profile in a window.

Being slightly soft, chubby or overweight all of my life I find myself being amazed at little things such as how defined my face, neck and collarbone area are. Or how I can stand straight with my arms down and see the well-defined curves at my waist and seeing muscles in my delts, thighs and calves when I'm not flexing.

It's also weird having no backfat or love handles anymore. They were apart of me for sooooo long even when I was smaller.

I went into a Guess? store the other day with my guy and I completely forgot I could actually fit the clothes in there! I was so used to sitting on the sidelines in a store like that or just perving the shoes/bags. lol

I hope my brain catches up soon!!

shaynepoole

I've been in maintenance for 9 months now at 140-150 lbs and after being plus size my entire adult life and over 300lbs for a large chunk of that, I still marvel at the changes... I see old pics of myself and I look totally different...

luvFreedom1

librarysteg wrote: »

I'm glad to see other people are taking a little while to get used to all these changes. I agree about setting up some new goals for this new year that are less about weight loss. I should reach my ultimate goal weight by March so I know I'll spend the bulk of the year just figuring out how maintenance will work for me. I've started running and ran my first 5K this month so I think I'll have a lot of fitness goals. I have my eye on a 10K for April. One thing that's bothering me a little is when I see pictures of myself from before the weight loss, I REALLY don't like how I looked, and I feel embarrassed that I spent so many years looking like that. I'm trying not to dwell on that because it's the past, and I know it doesn't help anything, but I definitely still have some inner work to do as I work on the outer.

I used to be embarrassed of my old big me, but through therapy I understood that I was having a lot of pain, that is why my weight was up and down, hating being overweight and having a hard time loosing it and keeping it off. I really had to do something about it. Therapy helped me to realized that I am an awesome woman who went through a lot in the past, so I recognized her struggles, and gave her respect for trying to loose weight over and over. Finally I did a video prior to start a new weight loss in January 2014, in that video I spoke to the thin me, and told her to please this time to not come back to the big me, that I needed her to take me out of the rut I was. Now that I am thin again, I made a video back to her, thanking her for the great effort she put to bring me to this thin me. I love her so much, she is my hero. My therapist asks me: "why do you refer to you as her?" And I say: "it is the way I feel", and I like it, so let me be. When I am struggling with keeping the weight off I go and listen that video and gives me so much encourage. So please love the person who brought you to the new you, she was brave.

PrettyPearl88

librarysteg wrote: »

Not sure if this is the best category for this, but how long has it taken you to get used to the new you? I'm about 10 pounds away from goal, and I still don't really recognize myself when I look in the mirror. I still get a lot of comments from people who are just noticing my weight loss, and I wonder when those will stop? It's mostly a positive feeling because I love the way I look now, and I enjoy the attention, but it also doesn't feel real. I feel like the "real" me is the me that weighs over 210 pounds so who is this new person? Does this make sense? Can anyone relate?

I can relate. I was chubby my whole life, even in elementary school. Then in my early 20s, I lost 50 lbs over a period of 3 years. I went from plus sizes and a life of "Grrreeeat, this 14 won't fit around my butt AGAIN" to "This 4 doesn't fit, do you have this dress in a 2?" I've been maintaining for about a year and a half now. Even though I lost the weight slowly, it still took me a good while to adjust. At first, I too felt that the real me was the chubby, shy, ugly, ignored girl that I used to be. I still felt like that girl. This new young woman I saw when looking at pictures of myself seemed unreal. Who was she? There was a disconnect. She didn't feel like the me I had always known. But as the time passed, I became more and more comfortable in my new skin. I tried new things that I had always secretly wanted to do but never had to courage to try before. I took new risks, since I was feeling braver than ever after accomplishing something I never thought I'd be able to do: get to a healthy weight and maintain it easily. I found new hobbies, new interests, new passions, new dreams, and new goals. And slowly that new young woman looking back at me in the mirror started to seem more real.

Now, in retrospect, I can see clearly. This new me isn't some foreign being; she was there all along. She was always a part of who I was, she was just too scared to come out, so she hid. That old me, the shy chubby girl I used to be, that was me hiding behind my fears. Once I faced my fears and overcame them by losing the weight, this new person I've become (the true me) came out of hiding.

I feel so much happier now! I feel happy, confident, and free!

RhiannonBecks

I agree fully, my weight loss journey has been full of ups and downs, and I have been maintaining a loss of about 113# for almost 9 years now. I sometimes still have moments when shopping where I look at the jeans I pick out and put them back, or even when Im doing my own laundry and laugh...like really, these jeans DO NOT FIT this body....but then I put them on. I was overweight my entire life, so when you hold on to those feelings from a young age, I think its hard to just let something go so quickly...I do agree w/ other posters tho, a lot of it is about dressing for your "new" body too... You'll get there...we will all get there Somedays you'll love what youre looking at, and somedays you'll be confused, lol (is that really me?!)

MissJay75

I'm on both sides. There is a part of me who really ignored exactly how much weight I gained. I used to be the skinny one who never had to worry about what I ate. I was underweight as a child, and being thin was a big part of my identity. So in some ways it feels like I am back to the 'real' me now that I hit my goal.

On the other hand, it's been over a decade since I was this size/weight so I find that I keep touching my torso for example because I can feel my ribs again, or my face because my jawline feels so different. Everything feels so much smaller and I haven't at all gotten used to it.

karensuegill

I too can relate. I was thin when I first got married and then after having my first child, the weight just didn't come off. After having my second child, I was determined to lose the weight and get back to my "normal" weight again and I did. But then the stresses of working full time as a teacher and being a wife and mom started causing me to eat poorly and the weight came back on. I lost weight 2-3 different times through the years, but I never could keep it off. Now I am retired and this time I plan to make it permanent. I am getting used to my new thinner body and can't believe it's really me because it's been almost 10 years since I have been at this weight. This time I have worked really hard all through my weight loss journey to change my brain, not just change my body. By that I mean to look at my relationship to food differently and to educate myself about fitness and
nutrition instead of someone else telling me what to eat. I think you have to learn to love yourself and realize you are worth taking care of. I do think it does take time to recognize yourself in your "new" body. I agree with one of the posters who said the real you was there all the time, she was just hiding behind her fears. It will take some time to find out who the real you really is and it will be the most amazing journey of your life.

Roxiegirl2008

jgnatca wrote: »

Did I mention that my poor boobs float around in my bra like lost goldfish? I have to adjust them once in a while so they point in the same direction.

Yes yes and YES! I had this same issue. I finally broke down and got fitted for a new bra. The woman said "honey your bra is much to big for you! You have to get those girls standing up...you worked to hard for them to look like that!" I had told her how much weight I had lost so I guess she thought we bonded. She was a super cute older lady.

I am still trying to get used to my new body. I have a really hard time when looking for clothes because for so long I was getting XL or bigger. It is really hard for me to now pick up and small thinking it is going to fit. So, I always grab the medium for the "I am just going to start with this and go from here" mode. This is a total waste of time because I have to always get the smaller size. My mom told me last week "if you would just get the correct size to start you could cut down your shopping time by 1/2."

hmrambling

I'm not used to it yet. When I do laundry and fold my undies, I think, "these undies look like little girl underwear."

I am taken back sometimes by how small my clothes look. I realize that when I put them on they fit me... but sometimes I have a hard time wrapping my head around it.

mandybear014

I feel the way. I've lost 43 pounds this past year and have been maintaining for almost 2 months now. My brain hasn't caught up with the changes. I have this beautiful coat that has been hanging in my closet for 4 years because I was afraid to put it on given my "old" size. I tried it out on Monday - I got a lot of compliments from co-workers which was nice. Just wish the rest of me would catch up to weight loss.

sunman00

great stories folks
I was overweight for about 30 years so got used to 'me'; I started out on MFP just under 2 years ago, Jan 4th 2013 & hit my goal in Spring this year, since then I use exercise to maintain & love feeling so fit & well.
BUT I still haven't got to the new me, I regularly get caught looking in shop windows seeing a man I simply don't recognise, and I like him! I just don't 'feel' like him yet

chadtracy75

Thank you all for sharing your stories! I am new to the fitness pal and am getting really close to maintaining... I started out on June 17 at 285 and am now at 196 today... I need to get to 185 to reach my BMI goal of 24.9. A total lifestyle change has occured... diet and exercise are two things that are crucial, however there is one overarching theme to reach your goals for either of those two lifestyle changes... mental toughness. I get asked more times than I can count, "how did you do it..." honestly, you have to be ready to do it... for me it was getting the results of my blood work that did it for me... cholesterol, BP... everything was pointing that I was going to die of a heart attack... I want to live as long as I can.

Again, thank you to everyone for posting your personal anecdotes... I am not on an island... strangers brought together who share similar life struggles and downfalls...

... throughout this whole ordeal I keep running this mantra through my head... "The only thing between the possible and impossible is self determination and motivation..."

bwogilvie

chadtracy75 wrote: »

Thank you all for sharing your stories! I am new to the fitness pal and am getting really close to maintaining... I started out on June 17 at 285 and am now at 196 today...

That's impressive - 90 pounds in six months! That's nearly 4 pounds a week. No wonder you describe it as an "ordeal." If I were you, I'd take the last 10 pounds a lot more slowly.

Best wishes for sticking to the lifestyle change. I lost a lot of weight in grad school with portion control and exercise. I gained it all back, very slowly, once I got a job: I didn't make much time in my schedule to exercise, but I kept eating as if I were.... I plan to weigh daily, and if my trend (exponentially smoothed moving average) gets more than 2 pounds over my goal, I'll run a slight deficit until I'm back (unless I decide to deliberately bulk and cut).

paradi3s

To be honest, I still feel like the girl I was before I started losing weight. I can hear people compliment me and talk about how far I've gone, but there are times where I don't feel it and want to push myself further. It's a bit freaky, but I'm trying to start accepting myself and my body now, before it might end up with me suffering from an ED.

Though I can say that I am SO proud of losing 50 + lbs! I'm still a bit on the soft side, but give it a bit of time, sweat and motivation, I'll be sure to carve out the best of me, fitness-wise. ;-)