I can't do this.
_quirky_girl_
Posts: 27 Member
I have been on and off myfitnesspal for the past 3-4 years. I have been on and off diets since I was 12. I have gained 25 pounds in the past year and a half. I want to fit into my clothes again so here I am, again. As I face the weight loss journey yet again, I just can't do it. The logging of food, the constant pressure to make good choices, the thought that goes into each meal. I know that if I don't lose the weight (again) I will keep gaining and end up obese. I don't want that but I'm just so so so so unmotivated. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice on how to power through? Thanks!
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Replies
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This is a good step - reaching out for support.
Set goals, take in one day at a time, go for long term gains over short term rapid weight loss.
Life style changes!
i have also had many ups and downs with weight. I am trying a new approach - short term and long term goals, not expecting rapid results but long term gains (or i guess long term losses
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My first accomplishment was staying out of the loaf of bread! (i am a carb-oholic). That alone has forced me to make new nutritious choices.0 -
make it as sustainable as you possibly can, so you find it easier to stick to in the long term. You've succeeded at losing weight before, it's maintenance you're having problems with, so focus on doing what you know you'll be able to maintain long term, so long as the weight is coming off, even if it's coming off very slowly.
some tips:
- set your goals to lose weight slowly, maybe 0.5lb - 1lb a week, it may seem painfully slow, but your focus is on maintenance and sticking to the programme. It doesn't matter if you take longer to get there, if you're going to be able to stay at your goal weight for the rest of your life.
- do any kind of exercise or physical activity that you enjoy and will stick to. nothing that you find torturous or that it's hard to motivate yourself to do. the key is that you enjoy it and will stick to it. Eat back your exercise calories.
- find ways to make lower calorie versions of all your favourite foods.
- enjoy all your favourite snacks, just in smaller portions. Focus first on getting the nutrition your body needs, then with what calories you have left, eat whatever you want. eat it slowly to make it last longer and so you get more enjoyment for fewer calories
- find ways to be more physically active, e.g. taking the stairs instead of the lift, walking instead of going by car, anything that gets you moving a bit more regardless of whether anyone considers it exercise or not..... and enjoy it. learn to enjoy the feeling of being fit and active.0 -
^^agree. I've been on here over a year And a half. Logged everyday for 500 days and lost my count. The past 3 months have been a struggle but can't see myself without this site!0
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You don't have to want to. You just have to do it.0
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I've been similar. Lost a stone in 2011 and gained it back on slowly + more!
I am now sick of feeling that way, i don't want to be fat anymore. I have goals that i am determined to stick to (i would recommend creating some achievable goals, it may help!).
If you feel bad now, think how you'll feel in 5 months when you're fitting into the clothes you haven't been in for ages, feel happy, want to be in photos, feel confident. If you have the motivation of friends (inc MFP friends) and family, you'll get there and it will become second nature.
And just remember, YOU CAN DO THIS!
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For me it was about the hundredth breakdown, bright red, fresh stretch marks streaking down my arms. My husband, while holding his sobbing crumpled wife, "this is the last time you cry over this, I've done everything I can and it never helps. You either do something about this now or you never ever bring it up again." I joined mfp and started at the gym that weekend. I hed a baby and gained back what I lost but I didn't let it stop me. I aimed for a pound a week, sometime I lost more sometimes I didn't lose, But all in all I have lost 65lbs in the last 9-10months. My one regret was not doing it sooner. once you start you find yourself thinking, "why was this so hard?" You stop craving the things that made you gain and you start learning how to eat better. You feel better. You don't feel sick and sore and tired first thing in the morning, you don't feel lazy and full. You can go shopping for pants and actually find some, you can leave the dressing room without trying not to cry. You are better for it, nicer, work better, get on with people better in general. It's the second best thing I've ever done. (Family first you know the drill)0
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^I agree with this.make it as sustainable as you possibly can, so you find it easier to stick to in the long term. You've succeeded at losing weight before, it's maintenance you're having problems with, so focus on doing what you know you'll be able to maintain long term, so long as the weight is coming off, even if it's coming off very slowly.
some tips:
- set your goals to lose weight slowly, maybe 0.5lb - 1lb a week, it may seem painfully slow, but your focus is on maintenance and sticking to the programme. It doesn't matter if you take longer to get there, if you're going to be able to stay at your goal weight for the rest of your life.
- do any kind of exercise or physical activity that you enjoy and will stick to. nothing that you find torturous or that it's hard to motivate yourself to do. the key is that you enjoy it and will stick to it. Eat back your exercise calories.
- find ways to make lower calorie versions of all your favourite foods.
- enjoy all your favourite snacks, just in smaller portions. Focus first on getting the nutrition your body needs, then with what calories you have left, eat whatever you want. eat it slowly to make it last longer and so you get more enjoyment for fewer calories
- find ways to be more physically active, e.g. taking the stairs instead of the lift, walking instead of going by car, anything that gets you moving a bit more regardless of whether anyone considers it exercise or not..... and enjoy it. learn to enjoy the feeling of being fit and active.
Instead of looking at it as a "diet" - a temporary things that you are either "on" or "off", make small changes that you can live with permanently. I would even try to resist focusing too much on the "goal" at all, because that isn't the end of anything anyway. Like many, many people, years of dieting has done a number on you. Dieting is really bad for you. Unfortunately you're in a position where you want to get this weight off, and to do that, you are going to have to restrict your intake to some degree. However, I would do as much as you possibly can to make it not feel like a diet. Do everything you can to avoid feeling deprived or restricted - either physically or psychologically.
You have many years of dieting under your belt, so it's really hard to break that dieting mindset, but I think that's what will make the difference for you. Try not to think of diets as things that "fix" the weight problem. You need to create the conditions (permanently) that enable you to be a healthy weight.
Forget about the constant pressure to make "good choices". That doesn't help. Pursue progress, not perfection.
It might help you to draw up some meal plans so that you have a collection of meals that you know the approximate calorie count for, preferably meals in different calorie ranges. Take the time to enter them into the recipe function in your diary. So, when you're tired or can't be bothered thinking about meals, you can just pick one, knowing roughly how many calories they are. If cooking's not your thing, then make the meals as simple to make as possible. On days that you feel all motivated, you can experiment and come up with new things, but on the days when you don't feel motivated, you will have a range of "go to" meals you don't have to think about.
Also, I don't know what you have eaten before on all your diets, but you don't have to eat particular foods. Stick to the foods that you are eating right now, while you are "off the wagon". Stick with those, and log those. Making radical changes makes it far less likely that you'll keep them up. As time goes by, chances are you will naturally make changes to what you eat, but it's important that it's a natural process, not because you feel you "should" be eating lettuce, or you "shouldn't" be eating pizza.0 -
One thing that I quickly learned...I could not look at this as a "diet," this is a lifestyle change. I didn't want to diet, I wanted to change my life, how I live, how I eat, how I work out.0
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Change the word DIET to LIFESTYLE.
Some of us (maybe more) are on here because we do not have the luxury of being able to eat whatever we want. Is it a luxury - not in my eyes anymore.
You are probably going to have to be pretty switched on about what you eat and what you do exercise wise for a while. It's a f*cking daunting prospect but it does NOT mean you have to turn into a hermit or a preacher or basically feel like crap. It's actually an incredibly liberating prospect - not only can you shed excess pounds but you can be healthy; for me, there is no better feeling.
If you want my personal experience, my weight loss journey is nowhere near finished. But I started after a breakdown and gradually switched my choices around. I was the fat girl who would order chips with everything. I was the fat girl who would seek out any opportunity to eat out and stuff my face. Gradually I became a-less-fat girl who considered options carefully and began to genuinely prefer the choices I made. It's not like that for everyone, I know. Sometimes it takes the right mindset at the right time. Sometimes the journey starts and you hate it, then end up loving it.
So, I'd give yourself a month of NOT tracking. I would suggest just swapping certain things for healthier versions (doesn't have to be low fat or diet products - just use normal products but less of, for example) - you want some fat? Eat avocado/nuts/feta cheese. Try and gradually switch stuff around until you find something you like. If you don't like something but it's low calorie/fat/carbs - don't eat it - you'll hate it and you'll resent it. Tweak recipes, tweak meal times, tweak the hell out of everything until you find a good fit.
As for exercise, do what YOU like. I HATED exercise with a passion - I would make every excuse in the book not to do it. I started walking one mile a day with my brother and dogs because it was nice to get out of the house. Then I saw and felt myself getting fitter and I became hooked. I go to the gym 3 times a week and walk everyday now and for me, the feeling of a gut-busting workout simply cannot be matched by eating a pizza, but I know I may be in a minority here. Don't force yourself to go to the gym if you hate it - my brother (slim, fit, etc etc) hates the gym but loves playing football so he does that 3 times a week.
Don't deny yourself things you like. If you crave a piece of chocolate - have it, but just be aware of what it is, when you are eating it and how much. I kept a mood diary for a bit in conjunction with my food diary - my "snack" periods were always around 2pm and 8pm.
Feel free to add me as a friend and good luck. x0 -
One thing that I quickly learned...I could not look at this as a "diet," this is a lifestyle change. I didn't want to diet, I wanted to change my life, how I live, how I eat, how I work out.
well said and couldn't agree more! Ive done diets and then put the weight back on. Now its a case of finding the balance between exercise and food intake and once balanced you should be able to maintain the weight and enjoy life at the same time.0 -
This goes against what most people are saying, but I'm currently just trying to eat unprocessed foods/high sodium foods and taking a break from logging because I get overwhelmed whenever I have to log when I'm trying to power through a workload. Maybe taking a break from MFP to clear your mind might get your groove back again.
FWIW, I have not lost any weight not logging, but I haven't gained any either (It's been about 2-3 weeks). I plan on returning to logging though0 -
I've experienced this in the past, and unfortunately never powered through. I just gave up.
This time, I've decided that when I get to that point, I'm just going to dial it back. I always started out super strong and become a bit obsessed, and then began to peeter out over time. BUT this time, when I get to that point, I'll stop logging as religiously, and just go with what I know (snack on healthy food, include tons of veggies with my main meals, and healthy proteins/fats, portion control) so that I can maintain my healthy lifestyle without it consuming all of my time.
I think it's just really important to keep at it, whether you log daily or not. (And don't stop moving!!!)
Start with taking a day or two off of logging and see how you feel. If it's really helping you charge back up, maybe stick to logging on weekends to make sure you're still on track, and come back to us when you're ready for more motivation and support.
Edit: AND if it's not working at all, COME BACK ASAP! 0 -
wow good post and so real
what people go through =)thanks ! 0 -
make it as sustainable as you possibly can, so you find it easier to stick to in the long term. You've succeeded at losing weight before, it's maintenance you're having problems with, so focus on doing what you know you'll be able to maintain long term, so long as the weight is coming off, even if it's coming off very slowly.
some tips:
- set your goals to lose weight slowly, maybe 0.5lb - 1lb a week, it may seem painfully slow, but your focus is on maintenance and sticking to the programme. It doesn't matter if you take longer to get there, if you're going to be able to stay at your goal weight for the rest of your life.
- do any kind of exercise or physical activity that you enjoy and will stick to. nothing that you find torturous or that it's hard to motivate yourself to do. the key is that you enjoy it and will stick to it. Eat back your exercise calories.
- find ways to make lower calorie versions of all your favourite foods.
- enjoy all your favourite snacks, just in smaller portions. Focus first on getting the nutrition your body needs, then with what calories you have left, eat whatever you want. eat it slowly to make it last longer and so you get more enjoyment for fewer calories
- find ways to be more physically active, e.g. taking the stairs instead of the lift, walking instead of going by car, anything that gets you moving a bit more regardless of whether anyone considers it exercise or not..... and enjoy it. learn to enjoy the feeling of being fit and active.
This. I could have written this, it's exactly what I did to get started.0 -
You say that you are unmotivated, but if that was true, you wouldn't be here. You have the motivation, but you have to be willing to put in the work, because it's hard. It's much easier to eat whatever you want and whatever tastes good. It's easier to sit on the couch instead of going to the gym. To be successful at this, you have to work at it every day, plain and simple.0
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For a client I tell them it's not that they can't, it's either they "will not" or "refuse". Then we try to figure out why they won't. Is it because they don't like adhering to how society views "healthy" body shape? Are they pressured by family? Etc.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
You have to put it into perspective. You didn't gain the weight overnight, so you can't expect to lose it overnight. It's hard when the scale isn't moving and you are unmotivated, but that's when you need to push yourself even harder and have friends and family around to push you. Stop looking at the big picture and take one day at a time....baby steps.0
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For me it was about the hundredth breakdown, bright red, fresh stretch marks streaking down my arms. My husband, while holding his sobbing crumpled wife, "this is the last time you cry over this, I've done everything I can and it never helps. You either do something about this now or you never ever bring it up again." I joined mfp and started at the gym that weekend. I hed a baby and gained back what I lost but I didn't let it stop me. I aimed for a pound a week, sometime I lost more sometimes I didn't lose, But all in all I have lost 65lbs in the last 9-10months. My one regret was not doing it sooner. once you start you find yourself thinking, "why was this so hard?" You stop craving the things that made you gain and you start learning how to eat better. You feel better. You don't feel sick and sore and tired first thing in the morning, you don't feel lazy and full. You can go shopping for pants and actually find some, you can leave the dressing room without trying not to cry. You are better for it, nicer, work better, get on with people better in general. It's the second best thing I've ever done. (Family first you know the drill)
WOW! This one ^^^^ nailed it for me! I'm at the sobbing point right now. I've lost weight before, but its the thought of how much weight I have to lose now. I am now 100 lbs overweight. I've had two kids and never weighed this much even pregnant. Its' out of control. I too am trying to find the motivation to start again.0 -
It's not what you eat, it's how you eat sweatie. I too have struggled with my weight for years. Others can motivate you, but the TRUE motivation comes from within yourself. YOU have to WANT to do it. My motivation came, when I sat in my doctors office to discuss my husband and I having a baby and she wanted to put me on all of these different medications for Higjh Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol and then wanted me to come in so I could be tested for diabetes. I am only 32 years old. Ain't nobody got time for that!:laugh: I thought, I can't even think about having a baby if I'm taking all of these meds.:noway: Start making fitness a habit, just like brushing your teeth in the morning. :happy: You don't feel right when you forget to brush your teeth do you? When you are your motivation for fitness, you won't feel right when you forget to do or don't do something to stay fit.
When most people think of loosing weight, they think of doing these excruciating workouts that have you not being able to get out of bed in the morning because your in so much pain. :sad: Yes these workouts are great, and they do help you tone up and build musle. You don't want to start out with those types of workouts. Especially if its hard for you to stay motivated. Start yourself out with a walk along a trail or in the park at a brisk pase. Walk on a treadmill for about 30 on a small incline.( Again at a nice pase) Walking is really good for you, and it works multiple body parts. It's going to take some time, but be patient with yourself, and your body. Trust me you will gain your reward. It's ok to struggle. Everybody does. You have to be your best you hun. 0 -
just focus on your calories, don't worry about the "good choices" They lead to failure for some people. they make this to hard... make it easy as possible. Focus on calories, and get in a little exercise not hard.
I agree with this a lot. I hate the micronutrient management business. So I started by focusing on calories. Then I found that I was making better food choices because healthier food choices typically (not always) have fewer calories. I can eat more fat free kettle corn than cookies. And big salads with lots of lean protein are much more mentally satisfying than a half a hamburger. The good food choices have been sort of evolving for me by starting with calories.
You can do it. Like many people here are saying, you made this post...its a step in the right direction.
Good luck!0
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