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Guilt

loribethriceloribethrice Member, Premium Posts: 620 Member Member, Premium Posts: 620 Member
How do you guys get over guilt for eating too much? I stick to my diet every single day of the year except for my birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Occasionally when there have been going away parties at work I have allowed myself to go over my calories then too. But, every time this happens I feel so guilty that I literally make myself feel sick. I go to the gym the day I know I'm going to binge and the days before and the days after to try to make up for it and I still feel awful for weeks.

Replies

  • tiptoethruthetulipstiptoethruthetulips Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 3,074 Member Member, Greeter, Premium Posts: 3,074 Member
    You have absolutely new reason to feel guilty for enjoying life, these celebrations are part of life and are to be enjoyed with your family and friends. You need to redevelop a new attitude...and don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

    Allow yourself to live a little, but get back on track the very next day...without guilt.

    Don't think of it as a diet, think of it has new habits that have flexibility to adapt to allow for healthy living. And healthy not just in body but spirit and mind as well.
  • WondertjeWondertje Member Posts: 63 Member Member Posts: 63 Member
    I think you said something very important when you said "the day I know I'm going to binge".. if that's really what you're doing, then it needs to stop. There is a very important difference between allowing yourself to eat some more calories, or even unlimited calories due to a special occasion - and going off on a binge.

    I've been in the position where I'd use any special occasion, no matter how small, as an excuse to eat more - not because I wanted to enjoy myself and "live a little", but because I "wanted"/had to binge and at this time, no one would question it. So I think it's very, very important that you make a clear distinction between them.

    Bingeing is not necessarily about the amount of food/calories you eat, but about the mindset with which you do it. There's nothing wrong with easing off a bit on special days, allowing yourself to eat some more, and just enjoy some good times with friends and family that includes eating - and absolutely no reason for feeling guilty.

    However, if you do have issues with bingeing and you're not using these special days for any other reason than to stuff down food (been there, done that), I'd recommend talking to someone. Either you can fix your relationship with food, and go on about these days as mentioned about - without guilt. Otherwise you might even find that the food isn't so important on these days, and was just a symptom of a problem you had.

    Either way, good luck with everything! :smile:
    edited November 2014
  • 999tigger999tigger Member Posts: 5,252 Member Member Posts: 5,252 Member
    I have an ok relationship with food. i dont demonise it and I dont beat up on myself which is pointless and soemtimes destructive. Using logic and understanding the deficit and calorie balance gives you the security of knowledge and an understanding that you arent suddenlt going to put in masses of weight. Give yourself permission to chill out because a more relaxed will be more focused, happier and effective at dieting.

    Your feelings of guild are out of proportion compared to all the good work you have done, so the feeling awful makes no sense and if you looked at the facts, then you would realise that as well. You seem incredibly disciplined, so give yourself a pat on the back and write down a message that you can ease off soemtimes, becayse that helps as well. Sometimes less is more.
  • loribethriceloribethrice Member, Premium Posts: 620 Member Member, Premium Posts: 620 Member
    @Wondertje - I guess binge is a bad word to use. I just don't eat what I normally eat (I eat the same things daily so I know that I stay within my calorie range). So, like today for instance I had a small sauceless cheese pizza for Thanksgiving and 3 pumpkin cookies and 2 pieces of cookie cake. And drank a ton of water. I don't like Thanksgiving foods, so I always let myself have something that I normally don't let myself have.
  • WondertjeWondertje Member Posts: 63 Member Member Posts: 63 Member
    @Wondertje - I guess binge is a bad word to use. I just don't eat what I normally eat (I eat the same things daily so I know that I stay within my calorie range). So, like today for instance I had a small sauceless cheese pizza for Thanksgiving and 3 pumpkin cookies and 2 pieces of cookie cake. And drank a ton of water. I don't like Thanksgiving foods, so I always let myself have something that I normally don't let myself have.

    To me that sounds like very yummy food/cookies and I don't recommend you feel an ounce of guilt for enjoying them! Simply take some time to enjoy some treats, and then keep going as normal after Thanksgiving - you can do it! :smile:
  • loribethriceloribethrice Member, Premium Posts: 620 Member Member, Premium Posts: 620 Member
    I did my treats enjoying, lol. My body is not used to food like this so I am sick as a dog now. Hopefully I'll be ok enough to get to the gym in 2 hours when I'm done with work!
  • kommodevarankommodevaran Member Posts: 17,960 Member Member Posts: 17,960 Member
    I don't feel guilt about eating. Never have. But I may feel ashamed. I'm working on it, though. Trying to eat for pleasure AND nourishment.
  • kjurassickjurassic Member Posts: 574 Member Member Posts: 574 Member
    Don't feel guilty. I ate too much yesterday but for the prior 364 days (give or take a day or two) I didn't. I see nothing wrong in indulging a little on special occasions. Today is a new day and I'm back on track (at least until Christmas!) :)
  • loribethriceloribethrice Member, Premium Posts: 620 Member Member, Premium Posts: 620 Member
    I've never eaten for pleasure, I mostly do it because I'd die otherwise...lol. I have SED (selective eating disorder), so I have a lot of food phobias. I'm very glad to see that no one thinks I should feel guilty or ashamed though! That truly makes me feel a lot better. I've been definitely worried,
  • yoovieyoovie Member Posts: 17,261 Member Member Posts: 17,261 Member
    guilt: noun - a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.

    you do well except for 3 days a year when you don't and you feel that this is an offense or some other activity that is against your laws.

    figure out if this is a criminal act you deem worthy of punishment or understanding.

    if you simply need to take responsibility - you can lift the guilt.

    if you feel it requires penitence, then figure out what your penitence is and pay it. then lift the guilt.

    Either way, guilt is self-imposed and within your control to remove.

    good luck!

    (362 out of 365 is a knockout record by the way)
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